Have you given a chance to a dude who wasn't your "type"?

[Glib Gurl]

In my mind, I have an idea of what type of guy I want to be with . . . but most of the men who approach me do not, at first glance, seem to fit this "type." But I've been wrong in the past - for example, a dude approached me who looked rather, ahem, dusty . . . but it turned out he was actually a corporate-type who just happened to be dressed down. (If he hadn't had a briefcase in his hand when I met him, I probably wouldn't have paid him any attention at all )

Even though it ultimately didn't work out, it got me to thinking that I can't be so quick to dismiss someone because they don't "seem" to be my type - judging a book by its cover, so to speak.

I'm wondering if any ladies here have any success stories of hitting if off with a man who, at first, didn't seem like he fit your particular mold?

 

[dlewis]

Yep, my husband.

 

[kandake]

I don't have a success story but I too have started dating men that aren't necessarily my type. Actually, now that I've started doing this, I don't really have a type.

Although, my situations haven't led to a relationship, I have been pleasantly surprised and its definitely changed my outlook on who I decide to date.

 

[LoveLongLocks]

Same here. I married him.

 

[newbiemom]

Yep. Me too, MY hubby. He was too short, wanted to be a teacher. I was looking for $$$.( i was young)erplexed

 

[krikit96]

On more than one occasion. The first one was a known producer who was @ the time working with Diddy, and I had never heard of him. He wasn't too cute either. His shoes were nice. It was raining and I had an umbrella, so he just ran out of the building and started walking with me out to the parking lot. He scared me @ first, but as we walked and laughed, I thought, he's not cute, but he's funny. I gave him my number and we talked for about 3 months, when we hooked back up and saw each other again, he was a nice dresser, had shaved his face, and cut his cornrolls off... Looked totally different and by then we had gotten to know each other over the phone and it made for a wonderful 18 month relationship. He went to Cali and I stayed here. We are still good friends, actually. One of the sweetest guys I ever dated...

Then there's my husband. He LOOKED my type, but his lifestyle was not... But here we are, 6 years and 3 kids later... I guess it all worked itself out.

 

[Essensual]

Yep, my husband.

Me too. Divorcing now.

...but I think that following a "type" is too limiting, so I still won't limit myself to a particular "type" in the future.

 

[Dposh167]

plenty! i have had both success & drama with them. I too have been slapped in the face with the dressed down corporate guy too. Thats why i dont judge anymore til i learn their story. I work in corporate america but when i walk down the street i look like a college student. I wouldnt want a guy to rule me out b.c. They *think im not up to their level at first glance. So i stopped doing it

 

[Glib Gurl]

Yep, my husband.

Same here. I married him.

Yep. Me too, MY hubby. He was too short, wanted to be a teacher. I was looking for $$$.( i was young)erplexed

That is so funny! Would you ladies mind elaborating more on how dh wasn't your type? (Especially you dlewis oke

plenty! i have had both success & drama with them. I too have been slapped in the face with the dressed down corporate guy too. Thats why i dont judge anymore til i learn their story. I work in corporate america but when i walk down the street i look like a college student. I wouldnt want a guy to rule me out b.c. They *think im not up to their level at first glance. So i stopped doing it

Girl, you said a mouthful of truth right there. I am trying to be more mindful because even though I am a professional with a law degree, my workplace is business casual . . . so unless I'm wearing a suit (which I only do maybe once a week), folks probably think I'm a secretary or a student. So yeah, I need to slow my roll . . . except for the days when it's obvious I'm a corporate diva

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I have given guys who were not my type personality-wise a "chance", and sad to say, they did not work out. Either their personality started to grate on my nerves after a while, or their looks (or lack thereof I should say ) really got to me and there wasn't any attraction on my end at ALL.

But, I have given guys who just seemed NICE a chance, and although it didn't work out for the long run, we ended up having a great time together and enjoying a good friendship. He wasn't my type looks-wise at all, but he had the best sense of humor, and a great personality!

I find now that I'm a little older and have a little more "experience", I don't really have a "type" anymore, but I would just like the guy to be half-way decent-looking, and with a great personality. I am more willing I think these days to give guys a chance if they have a cool personality, and they treat me right. Looks aren't everything, but I do have to be at least SOMEwhat attracted to him.

Sometimes guys looks will grow on me...especially if he's treating me right and his personality is good. So...who knows??

 

[MissMasala5]

In my mind, I have an idea of what type of guy I want to be with . . . but most of the men who approach me do not, at first glance, seem to fit this "type." But I've been wrong in the past - for example, a dude approached me who looked rather, ahem, dusty . . . but it turned out he was actually a corporate-type who just happened to be dressed down. (If he hadn't had a briefcase in his hand when I met him, I probably wouldn't have paid him any attention at all )

Even though it ultimately didn't work out, it got me to thinking that I can't be so quick to dismiss someone because they don't "seem" to be my type - judging a book by its cover, so to speak.

I'm wondering if any ladies here have any success stories of hitting if off with a man who, at first, didn't seem like he fit your particular mold?

Yes, and eventually married him. Doing that whole "type" thing didn't work out for me in terms of finding true love. It may work for others, though.

 

[dlewis]

That is so funny! Would you ladies mind elaborating more on how dh wasn't your type? (Especially you dlewis oke

The outside package was not my type.
He was short (ish). He's 6'-1".
He came from an unstable background. (I did to but didn't want that)
Pursued me through all of his other relationships.

But he did have alot of qualities I looked for:
loyal to me - put me above all his girlfriends (when we were friends)
college degree
put a lot of value on the father being in the home
family man
hard worker
believed in taking care of his family
sportsman

 

[metro_qt]

I have given guys who were not my type personality-wise a "chance", and sad to say, they did not work out. Either their personality started to grate on my nerves after a while, or their looks (or lack thereof I should say ) really got to me and there wasn't any attraction on my end at ALL.



Looks aren't everything, but I do have to be at least SOMEwhat attracted to him.

Sometimes guys looks will grow on me...especially if he's treating me right and his personality is good. So...who knows??

This is what's been happening to me...
I give guys a chance who aren't my type and their personalities start grating on my nerves...

The one guy who i fell in love with, definitely was not my type to begin with, looks wise or lifestyle... He ended up cheating on me twice during our relationship, and broke it off stating that we were headed different places, I wanted my masters, and he just wanted a child....

Anyway, all that to say, I will always give men who aren't "my type" a chance,
but i'll always listen to my gut instincts...

 

[Ms Red]

Yes and I'm dating him now. Mentally, spiritually, emotionally, we are >>>here<<< and how could I pass that up based on a 'type?'

 

[tiara76]

a few times

my ex wasn't my self constructed type, but he is my heart though

 

[MissJ]

Yes, and never again!

 

[Tybi]

I don't have a type, I just know when I meet a guy if he is dating potential. After getting to know him is when I can really decide if this is someone I want in my life, someone that I am compatible with. All of my exes,, I met this way. No type, not looking for anything in particular. They were all so different form each other but all had some quality that I found attractive.

Now that I am older and looking for something serious, I have certain criteria that he must have, common sense things such as the ability to provide, being on the same page intellectually, spiritually etc. But there really is not a certain "look" or type that I am holding my breath for!

But to really answer the OP, it can work if its meant to be. A friend of mine met a man online last spring. They dated for a long while, she was apprehensive on getting serious because he was not her type. Now, 7 months later they are still together, happy, and planning on moving in with each other in January. Time will tell if they work out, but so far so good.

 

[NYLegalNewbie]

Yes and I'm dating him now. Mentally, spiritually, emotionally, we are >>>here<<< and how could I pass that up based on a 'type?'

Right, I definitely agree with you here.

I'm in a similar situation. We haven't known each other for very long just yet, but we are really just connecting on a level that I haven't experienced with a guy in years. And he's not my type. I usually go for very athletic corporate All-American types. He's a slim, artistic type (composer). Five months ago, I wouldn't have so much as blinked at him. But my (now infamous) run in with the dude who lied about being a security guard really made me think about things differently. I'm glad I did.

 

[MissJ]

The outside package was not my type.
He was short (ish). He's 6'-1".
He came from an unstable background. (I did to but didn't want that)
Pursued me through all of his other relationships.

But he did have alot of qualities I looked for:
loyal to me - put me above all his girlfriends (when we were friends)
college degree
put a lot of value on the father being in the home
family man
hard worker
believed in taking care of his family
sportsman

If 6'1" is shortish, then I must be the queen of Munchkinland!

 

[dlewis]

If 6'1" is shortish, then I must be the queen of Munchkinland!

Women can be short but I've always been attracted to tall tall men. Coming from a family where the shortest man (uncles and dad) is 6'-3"...well you can see where I get that.....

 

[newbiemom]

My hubby is short, he is only 5'10 . I am 5'8 .. I was lik uh uh
Then we were both in college but I was stuying business and he wanted to be a math teacher. Where is the $$$
He is very quiet and a little shy and I prefer a man who is out going but in the end he is sweet, a great father and hubby. He is very hard working and intelligent and he puts his family above all. So I figure when my osteoerosis sets in he'll be alot taller than me.

 

[dlewis]

My hubby is short, he is only 5'10 . I am 5'8 .. I was lik uh uh
Then we were both in college but I was stuying business and he wanted to be a math teacher. Where is the $$$
He is very quiet and a little shy and I prefer a man who is out going but in the end he is sweet, a great father and hubby. He is very hard working and intelligent and he puts his family above all. So I figure when my osteoerosis sets in he'll be alot taller than me.

 

[bellebebe]

Yep, he was a rebound guy. I actually fell in-like with him but it didn't work out. He tried to change me and he simply could not do that so, we said good bye. Lesson learned but I have an amazing boyfriend now who is also my best friend.

 

[babyb900]

Yes and now we're engaged.

Who knew?

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Yes, and never again!

Co-signing! They be the main ones acting a donkey!

 

[Theo]

Yep... my boo-boo. He was too nice... and honestly kinda boring. He actually still is. But he treats me soooo well, and he is reallllly cute, though not as muscle-y as the men I usually go for are.

He fit all my non-negotiables (except for 1), so I am glad I got past the shallow stuff and gave him a chance. Now I'm really happy with him!

ETA: oh yeah, and he's short.

 

[strenght81]

Yeppers, but not in public... I'm tall and he was a good 3-4 inches shorter than me... He was fiiiiiiine tho, with a huge.....

 

[Filmatic]

Been there with an ex. He was not my type lookwise or lifestyle. I should have kept with that bc he turned out to be horrible.

On the other hand I tried it with a younger man who was all the way my type lookwise but personality I knew I could run him so I just kept dropping him. It was a big mistake on my part.

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

Nope lol. Im picky and grossed out to a point that I couldnt bring myself to be near a man Im not madly attracted to unless its on a friend basis....

 

[Nayeli]

Nope - maybe that's why I only had my first bf at 22. Meh, I'm with my type now: tall, dark skin, intelligent and scrumptious My type was worth the wait lol.