Have You Ever Walked Away

[ronnie78]

This is my first thread and I REALLY need some advice! I met this guy about two years ago through mutual friends, and we casually dated for about a year and a half. We live in different states (about 4 hours away) and after awhile things just kinda fell off, but we still talk regularly.

I realized pretty early on that we just were not compatible in the "romantic" sense but I still caught feelings for him. I honestly know that a relationship would never work out between us for many different reasons and I know it would be dumb to pursue one because I would just end up hurt. I feel like the only way I can really get past these feelings I have for him is to totally cut him off, and that's where I'm having the problem. He hasn't actually done anything wrong per se, and he has really become like a good friend to me( a friend that I'm falling in love with erplexed).

So my question is have any of you ever just walked away from someone you were in love with, just because you knew it wasn't going to work? If so how did you do it?

 

[Keshieshimmer]

No, but would you mind sharing those reasons?

I guess if you don't feel 100% comfortable being with him then don't waste his time or break his heart.

 

[ronnie78]

@Keshieshimmer

I think that we are a true case of "opposites attract", but it eventually just lead to problems i.e. bickering and me having hurt feelings a lot. We have too many fundamental differences in our core values and what we want and need in a romantic relationship to be in one together. Then there's also the small things like the distance. He has a good job where he lives and I'm currently working on my Master's degree.....so I can't see either one of us moving anytime soon. As far as me breaking his heart I think he's perfectly fine with us just being friends. I hope this doesn't sound crazy I just don't know what to do.

 

[Afro Puff]

Yes, I walked away from someone I was in love with for 2 years last May. We met when we were living in New Zealand. Now, we're living in 2 different countries and it was confirmed that neither of us would be moving to be closer and develop the relationship. Since May 2011 I've only reached out to him once to make sure he was still alive...an earthquake hit his country.

Walking away was the best thing I did. My heart was closed off to other men for the entire 2 years. I would find something wrong with every single man I dated...none if them ever made the cut. Now 6 months later my heart is fully open to other men and I'm finally starting a new relationship.

That's my story.

 

[mspm]

Yes. I know that walking away can be a scary thing, but I say be strong and do it.

My broken engagement was the best thing that could have happened to me. If I hadn't had the courage to walk away, I would have never met the man of my dreams. I'm SO happy now!

 

[Sosoothing]

Yes I have. I think I was able to simply walk away because my mind was thoroughly made up. I didn't keep wondering if I was doing the right thing. I knew it was the right thing.
Through God's grace, I wasn't too torn up about it. I just kept myself busy and started dating as soon as the chance came up.

 

[SummerSolstice]

i have done that a few times. it sucks but later on u guys might get back together, who knows.

 

[hopeful]

I think it's easier to walk away when you can imagine a better life without them. You have to create a vision for the life you want. People dream about the career they want, the body they want, the house they want. But they often skip their internal world and their friendship and associate world. It's okay to envision a life without him and then follow through. At this point he is dead weight.

 

[ElizaBlue]

ronnie78

More times than I care to count. Be true to your heart and peace of mind over everything. That you cannot put a price on.

I've been in love and in the best sex of my life only to turn over and plot murder because I was so unhappy otherwise. I got up the courage to tell him "you know what...you, this house, the kcid, the love...ain't enough"..and booked.

I second guessed myself for over a year and tried to understand why it never felt right. But today looking at him and the carnage he's left behind with other women...I thank God I unplugged myself and left.

Your situation may not be the same as mine but just remember you cannot put a price on peace of mind.

Brightest Blessings~

 

[ronnie78]

ElizaBlue, thank you so much for your reply. Everyone's advice has been helpful, but yours really resonated with me. I'm definitely more at peace with my decision.