I Just wanted to stop through to say thank you again to all of you Ladies!
I really wish the first thread wasnt lost, but its all good I guess
So listen , after posting this, later in the afternoon, I went for a mammogram. Because I have a mass in my left breast. When they did the mammogram, they immediatly said its BENIGN. I was so relieved. but the Doctor at the breast center still wanted to do an ultrasound. So during the ultrasound I'm thankfull for them saying its benign, the ultrasound tech was even telling me what it was and easing even more of my fears away. She said its a Fibroadenoma and explained just what it is. But my heart was heavy for the ladies that arent so fortunate to hear the words "Appears Benign" and my heart was thankfull at the same time that I heard those words. making small talk with the ultrasound tech I asked her "So how do you guys tell what cancer looks like" She says "it looks irregular" I"m like oh ok (whatever that meant lol)....so the doctor comes in after my ultrasound....I am dressed and ready to go an thanking God ok? He sits down, concerned look.....i just sat back down and said "uh oh" he starts to show me ultrasound pictures of a regular fibroadenoma. he says " see how its smooth" I'm like "yeah" *that would be fear in my voice right there* ,then he shows me mine, and says "well yours is very lobular" and he points to these circurlar things on my US picture of the mass and somewhere in his explanation said the word IRREGULAR. My spirit fell to the floor! He said that nightmare word " I want to do a biopsy on this" ,omg I though I was out the door, smooth sailing ok? I'm probing him....scared to know , but want to know....he jokes to lighten my spirit. haha, OMG I might have cancer!!! Is all I'm thinking...after probing, he explains something called a phlloydes ( OMG WHAT IS THAT????) panic is now setting in.... I was not prepared for this!!! He explains well it can be more "agressive" ....AGRESSIVE???? Im thinking he aint fooling me with that word.....that means MALIGNANT. I going into anxiety attack and want to call my Mommy.....Biopsy? here? now? but but.......
so I'm wisped away to the room where it will be performed, sign some papers, choking on tears.....now the ultrasound tech is trying to reassure me. I was like......"but, but you said Cancer looks Irregular and now he said the same word" , she said she was sorry and shouldnt have said anything......"so how does this biopsy go" ....."well we shoot three needles through it to take samples" WHAT? im scared ****less ok?????? they say "dont worry , we numb you"......NUMB ME?????? then it must be PAINFULL......WHAT DO I DO WHEN THE NUMBNESS WEARS OFF AND IM ON THAT FREEWAY....AND BTW YOU GUYS DONT VALIDATE PARKING , I WANT TO CALL MY MOMMY! Ok I didnt say all that but you know trying to put in a brave face while my mind is racing.....I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS.
alright, so I lived through the biopsy, yeah they numbed me pretty well , cause I didnt feel that large needle going in (yeah i saw that 12 inch massive thing) They immediately said , when I gasped for air that is, 'Look at the monitor. That was nothing....not even the aches and soreness and BLOOD, YES, BLOOD i saw when I got home......compared the next 24 hours of hell I went through......looking up all these terms they used on in the internet. Of course only to further drive myself crazy, and then came , you know, the Why God's and Why Me's?????? Crying like a big ole baby. SCARED TO DEATH! I couldnt eat, I couldnt sleep, I couldnt be alone with my own thoughts.....so I SAT on the phone with someone almost the whole time.....I think my mother and sister decided unbeknownst to me to take shifts with me haha......I prayed like nobody's business. watched the clock tick slower than any day that I can ever remember. finally called and got my results!!! cried while they had me on hold ten mintutes (yes my Mother and Sister were on with me) what? my sister called my mother 3-way, and I called them 3-way. I just want to say My mother and sister are the bomb!!!!!! ok but anyway......they finally came on and said the magic words....."your mass is Benign" .......i wanted to fall out from relief. (but still I thought about all the many women that dont get that news with a heavy heart) But I had to thank God that I did! They said its a fibroadenoma with the possibilty of it being a phloydes. and want to remove it because the type I have has a tendency to grow large quickly. OMG Surgery! I'm relieved nevertheless! and thankfull for the results of the biopsy. But of course now have anxiety over surgery.
Ladies , the moral of the story , is due to this I read alot of stuff on the internet. ALOT! PLEASE do your breast exams, go for your exams, such as mammograms!!!!!!!!
My heart still deeply goes out to any lady that didnt get to hear or wont hear the words BENIGN......I just experienced to some degree what that would feel like just by realizing thats the news I might be getting.
so that is why I disapeard from this thread in a nut shell LOL
hugs 2 all of you, and love and blessings!!!!!!!
I am definitely one of your biggest hair fans 
It just looks so fluffy and nice!
