Good conversation topics for dates?
- Thread starter Glib Gurl
- Start date
Rastafarai
Well-Known Member
- news (to ensure he isn't oblivious to his surroundings)
- sports
- finances/investment options (to figure out if he's smart with his money)
- dating habits/history ("...so how come a great catch like you is still single?") You can pry without really prying, if you get my drift. It's a great way to figure out if he's the stable/committed type (assuming he's telling you the truth, of course
) A guy that can own up to his mistakes in failed relationships is definitely a good sign.
- sports
- finances/investment options (to figure out if he's smart with his money)
- dating habits/history ("...so how come a great catch like you is still single?") You can pry without really prying, if you get my drift. It's a great way to figure out if he's the stable/committed type (assuming he's telling you the truth, of course
) A guy that can own up to his mistakes in failed relationships is definitely a good sign.
Bunny77
New Member
- news (to ensure he isn't oblivious to his surroundings)
- sports
- finances/investment options (to figure out if he's smart with his money)
- dating habits/history ("...so how come a great catch like you is still single?") You can pry without really prying, if you get my drift. It's a great way to figure out if he's the stable/committed type (assuming he's telling you the truth, of course
Oh lawd, I HATE HATE HATE HATE that question!!!!
I dunno, maybe men react differently, but if it's a first date and I'm just getting to know someone (and vice-versa), I think that question is too much prying, too soon. It's not your business to know about my past relationships (or lack of) at this point... the main thing is, I'm single and that's why you're out on a date with me right now.
If this goes any farther than one date and you'd like to know more about my background (if I haven't already volunteered it), then you can ask more. Maybe I'll volunteer more. But I quickly shut down any man who tries the sneaky approach to getting an answer by throwing out a fake compliment like that -- "Oh, you're so great, why are you single?"
That's one reason my SO and I had such a great first date... which led to a second, third, etc... neither of us asked that question... on the date, we focused on the fact that we were both single and looking... and as I got to know him, I learned more about him.
Last edited:
Bunny77
New Member
Wanted to add... honestly, I really don't want to hear too much too soon about a man's failed relationships. He can just say he's divorced, and I'm good. If things progress, I'll ask more along the way,
I have had first and second dates become therapy sessions because the dude's talking so dang on much about his ex-wife and his toxic marriage and how things are different now (yeah right) and he's found his happy place
Well, I guess the good thing was that I learned enough to decide I didn't want a second (or third) date... But still, I didn't even have to ask about their background... it's like, they were so depressed about the breakup of their last relationship that they needed to vent to SOME woman, and I happened to be the (un)lucky one.
At least I got a free meal out of it.
Past relationships really should be left off the table as much as possible in the early stages of dating, as far as I'm concerned.
I have had first and second dates become therapy sessions because the dude's talking so dang on much about his ex-wife and his toxic marriage and how things are different now (yeah right) and he's found his happy place
Well, I guess the good thing was that I learned enough to decide I didn't want a second (or third) date... But still, I didn't even have to ask about their background... it's like, they were so depressed about the breakup of their last relationship that they needed to vent to SOME woman, and I happened to be the (un)lucky one.
At least I got a free meal out of it.
Past relationships really should be left off the table as much as possible in the early stages of dating, as far as I'm concerned.
Tee
Active Member
I think some women go in too deep on the first date. You dont have to reveal all your past history, family situations, drunk uncle bill, job stresses, etc. Save some of that. First dates and early dating shouldn't be boring and all deep. Of course you want to learn the person but don't bore him. Have a lil fun! 
blasianbeauty
New Member
I agree with you, especially the bolded. Now as far as conversation topics are concerned, well...what is his personality like? I would keep abreast of the current topics such as current news, sports (Superbowl is coming up on Sunday), avoid talking about past relationships/sex, etc.
Well, here are some tips from askmen.com on what to/not to ask on a first date (from a man's perspective, anyhow...take some of the advice and use according to what makes you feel comfortable):
http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/4_dating_list.html
Number 10
Avoid her past
Generally speaking, one should never ask about past lovers on a first date. In fact, this should be avoided until she initiates the topic (if she ever does). She might have been hurt or may still be in love with her ex. You also prefer to start with a clean slate, so becoming chummy with her and comforting her about past mistakes may not be the greatest strategy on the first date. The goal is to take off her lipstick by the end of the evening, not help her wipe the tears as they smudge her mascara.
Number 9
Got any brothers or sisters?
Usually, a safe topic of conversation is asking about siblings (don't ask her if she's got cute sisters). Again, asking about her parents could backfire if they experienced a divorce or separation, especially at a young age. But sisters and brothers usually trigger good feelings and score points for you since you're showing a caring side and an interest in her family life.
Number 8
Traveled anywhere special?
A tricky way to spark a girl's interest is by asking about her past travel destinations and where she intends on visiting in the future. The upside is that if she mentions a spot she always wanted to visit, lo and behold, here comes the knight in shining armor (that's you, boy) and offers to make her dreams come true one day by taking her there. This also provides both people with some insight about one's cultural background and their openness to new adventures.
Number 7
Drinks anyone?
A topic of conversation, especially if the date is taking place at a restaurant or bar, is the kind of food and drinks each of you prefers. Again, not only can you gauge whether or not you share culinary preferences, but the potential topics are endless and provide you with a safe topic of conversation unless, of course, you are dating someone with an addiction to food or alcohol.
Number 6
Any career plans?
Asking a girl about her past education and whether she intends on returning to school is admittedly a double-edged sword. She might love to go on and on about her numerous academic achievements, but she might break down and admit that her current job has absolutely nothing to do with what she studied. In either case, you are provided with a golden opportunity to reassure and encourage her with an abundance of compliments.
Number 5
How's your job?
If you are years removed from your college years, then talking about work and career goals just might be a safer topic. Admittedly, do not let her go into the mundane details about how fed up she is with her life, which would explain why she's on her seventh margarita. But generally speaking, people like to brag about work, no matter how routine it is. It also gives you an idea regarding whether or not you are dating a future CEO or a waitress for life (not that there is anything wrong with that, of course).
Number 4
Got any friends?
Ask her about her friends. Even if you do not know them, she will love to tell you about her circle of friends, how much they mean to her and where she met them (and all of the things they did together). Don't doze off though, my good man, this is when you get precious details about her. If you ever make it further than the first date, her friends are usually the best source to unearth the skeletons in her closet.
Number 3
Free time frolicking
Does she roller blade, collect stamps or dance? How about sports? What kind of music does she like? These are the questions you must ask to determine how much of a bond exists between the two of you. Moreover, you gain some insight to follow-up questions.
Number 2
Weekend's peakin'
Not only do you get a clearer picture of what life with her will be like after the honeymoon, but you are also sending mixed messages, which is not entirely bad at first. Yes, mind games are childish, but keeping your cards at your chest gives you leverage. She will ask herself: "Does he want to see me on weekends?"
Number 1
Be bold and look ahead
Now, assuming she is having a good time and she is looking at you with that sparkle in her eye... In other words, if her body language is positive, you can look ahead and talk about other things you could do together in the future. Admittedly, you do not want to rush too far ahead and scare her off, but if she's enjoying herself, chances are she'll be curious to see what other great adventures you have in store for her.
get talking
Use these topic ideas as a general guide. Be sure to ask her lots of questions, but the key is to listen to her answers and form new questions around those. And remember: Don't be nervous. See the first-date experience for what it is: A good time with some good company, and that's all. This way, you'll be able to relax and have fun.
On my first picnic date with this older gentleman I was dating her brought this book with him and we had such a fun time. It was our second date. I loved that book so much that I purchased one and it has always been a hit on dates. http://www.amazon.com/Book-Question...=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1265296186&sr=8-1
Glib Gurl
Well-Known Member
ITA!!!!!!!
YankeeCandle
New Member
wierd double post; see below
Last edited:
YankeeCandle
New Member
MEMORIES!! talking to my SO for the first few dates was hard as a mug because he was shy as all get out. (He quickly got over that after several lengthy phone conversations; suddenly I had a regular Chatty Cathy on my hands).
Anyway, let me tell you about the subjects I brought up over our first, second, and third dates:
--- Soccer/Football--do you like it? Do you watch the World Cup? What do you think about less popular (in U.S.) sports like rugby?
-- Coffee or Tea--do you prefer one to the other and why? Are you a coffee or tea connossieur or will any old diner's joe / Lipton do? Do you distinguish between countries' coffee beans or tea output, and between differently fermented (black, white, green) tea?
-- Airlines--which one is your favorite and why? Which one do you pick for overseas flights? Best one for Europe? for Africa? for Asia?
-- Airports-- which is your favorite and why, and which do you avoid at all costs?
FYI, airlines and airports were the jackpot; I purposely picked those subjects because I knew we both had a lot of experience with them (due to hailing from other countries), and that ended up providing an hour's worth of conversation on our second date.
Now, the subjects I talked about with other men I dated before him were similarly tailored to them. I discussed cultural concerns with men of my own background; I quizzed one fellow from a certain country about its distinctive climate and geographical features; etc.
BONUS TIP: ask him for advice about something-- "say, you travel a lot. I'm going on a business trip soon. Which hotel chain do you recommend?" or "So you've lived in X neighborhood before. I hear there's a nice park there. When is the best time to go jogging there?"
Oh, and one more thing: There is a definite skill involved in knowing which topics to move on to after you have already been dating for a few weeks. I have PLENTY of tips on those subjects; just do your specialty and start a spin-off thread
Anyway, let me tell you about the subjects I brought up over our first, second, and third dates:
--- Soccer/Football--do you like it? Do you watch the World Cup? What do you think about less popular (in U.S.) sports like rugby?
-- Coffee or Tea--do you prefer one to the other and why? Are you a coffee or tea connossieur or will any old diner's joe / Lipton do? Do you distinguish between countries' coffee beans or tea output, and between differently fermented (black, white, green) tea?
-- Airlines--which one is your favorite and why? Which one do you pick for overseas flights? Best one for Europe? for Africa? for Asia?
-- Airports-- which is your favorite and why, and which do you avoid at all costs?
FYI, airlines and airports were the jackpot; I purposely picked those subjects because I knew we both had a lot of experience with them (due to hailing from other countries), and that ended up providing an hour's worth of conversation on our second date.
Now, the subjects I talked about with other men I dated before him were similarly tailored to them. I discussed cultural concerns with men of my own background; I quizzed one fellow from a certain country about its distinctive climate and geographical features; etc.
BONUS TIP: ask him for advice about something-- "say, you travel a lot. I'm going on a business trip soon. Which hotel chain do you recommend?" or "So you've lived in X neighborhood before. I hear there's a nice park there. When is the best time to go jogging there?"
Oh, and one more thing: There is a definite skill involved in knowing which topics to move on to after you have already been dating for a few weeks. I have PLENTY of tips on those subjects; just do your specialty and start a spin-off thread
Glib Gurl
Well-Known Member
Oh, and one more thing: There is a definite skill involved in knowing which topics to move on to after you have already been dating for a few weeks. I have PLENTY of tips on those subjects; just do your specialty and start a spin-off thread
Off to start one now!
Glib Gurl
Well-Known Member
See, I've already hit most of these . . . there's only so many times I can ask about his sisters or his one trip abroad
I guess what I need ideas about is good questions to ask after you've done the introductory stuff . . . . I feel a spinny coming on
Similar threads
