My stylist & I's conversation when I got my hair done yesterday!!!!!

[napgurl]

You have got to do the bulk of the work at home if you dont want to lose hair during her detangling process. If I go for a blow out, I wash and detangle at home, same thing for a press. If i go for a weave, I am already washed, moisturized and ready. If she is good with the pressing, then go only for that.

Yes, I agree. Only have her press your hair.

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

If you want to get your hair straightened once in a while, there's a stylist on here named balisi in the Atlanta area. Check her out!

 

[Cayenne0622]

Your hair is so pretty! I only talk to my sis and one other girl about the hair methods I've learned on this site. If people ask me questions I don't let them know that I am getting the info from a hair forum, I just talk as if its someone I know who told me about this or that. I keep it real general. Its amazing how negative so many of these stylists are. All this HATIN'!!!! I'm so glad I don't go to stylists.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I hope you end up being able to do your blowouts and your presses yourself one day realllllllll soon.

 

[Guapa1]

Can I just say, took a look at your hair journey and it's truly amazing well done!

Now your stylist.... If she can't see the difference between your hair now, and your hairin January, then she's as blind as she is stupid. The ATL ladies on here can find you somewhere else for sure.

 

[CaliSunShine]

There's not much I can add to what's already been said. Your hair is thick, long, and beautiful. Follow your heart and keep doing what's best for you.

 

[cmw45]

I'm really sorry you had that expeirence. Perhaps you should consider searching for a new stylist? I'm not gonna say that you should just write her off...but I have recently discovered the benefits of having a stylist inline with your hair goal. I mean I started seeing this new stylist completely by accident (I'll call her Ms. H) and she didn't believe any of it at first either. But as she saw my hair start to improve...that water soon became her best friend. Now, no one can beat her to using water to detangle a natural head of hair. She's also against "neatining up" cornrows and braid (cutting or burning up the sides), as she feels this demages the hair. She also tries to avoid using heat on me and refuses to braid my hair extra tight to extend the lenght of my briads/twists a week or two.

I mean...I could see if your hair was breaking from the methods that you were learning on the board...but your hair is thriving.

On the otherside: If everyone was a member of LHCF and participated as rampantly as many of us do, "Would she have a job?" Something to think about...​

 

[CaramelMiSS]

I'm sorry to say this but your stylist is as ignorant as they come. The comment about avoiding water, WTF???? Why would she say that, if she was educated enough she would know that water is the best moisture that hair can ever receive! And the thing about not wearing buns to protect your ends!! BULL**** Even though she gives a good press I would not stay and give her any more of my money for those insults she gave me. Oh and by the way you should show your stylist your pics. She probably didn't even remember what your length was 10 months before because that is a long time ago.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Do not go to this woman anymore.

People who you are paying your hard earned money to should respect your wishes not treat you like they are doing you a FAVOR.

The only reason she backtracked and did her little Pimp speech "You need me, we'll get through this together" was because she saw that she was about to watch money leave her pocket, not that she wanted to listen to anything you had to say about your hair regimen.

I think Ballsi is in your area, search some of the testimonials people here gave her. If you really are serious about learning how deal with your own hair, check out Sylver2's and Sistaslicks fotki's.

Good luck.

 

[Lita]

Girl I was getting heated just reading this! I mean here you are doing what you think is best for your hair and obviously doing what works for you and at the same time noticing growth, then you go in just to get a press and she tries to tear you down like that????

You know for yourself that some of the things you are doing are contributing to your growth, so I would continue to do them if I were you. (and also find someone else to do your presses in the meantime ).....It was really mean and insensitive for her to speak to you like that (do you have a personal relationship w/her besides her being your stylist?) and then go back and apologize b/c she knows she wronged you. Seems like a lot of things she was doing to your hair (detangling method, advice on use of heat, etc.) would be counterproductive to the growth and health of your hair if you continued to go to her so I would definitely stay away.

I Must Agree With Blackbarbie. Let Me Say This>Your Hair Looks Great! HAPPY HAIR GROWING!

 

[kitchen_tician]

... Oh and by the way you should show your stylist your pics. She probably didn't even remember what your length was 10 months before because that is a long time ago.

I wouldn't send her a "shatting ***" thing! I'd let her see me in the streets swinging it or I might drop by the salon to purchase some products once my hair's sweepin' down my back.

 

[Blackbird77]

Wait a minute...

With all that hair you've got on your head, she's got the nerve to tell you it hasn't grown in 10 months? Everybody on this board can see the progress you made! Anyway, $60 is way too much money to be spending on a press. I used to get my hair pressed for $35 each time I went to see my hairdresser (I can't call her a stylist because she wasn't). Anyway, just get yourself a good flat iron and you can do it yourself. I can't do an old school press, but when I use my Maxiglide, it looks way better than any press I used to do with a pressing comb. It also takes less time and keeps your money in your pockets once you get past the initial investment when you buy the flat iron.

 

[hrtbndr21]

From the looks of you're siggy... it looks like you're the one who knows what's best for your hair. It's beautiful nice thick and healthy. Flip your hair and shake the haters off. Besides it was probably her wallet talking not her...since you are visiting her less its taking money out of her pocket. Do what's best for you.

 

[Country gal]

Can you take a picture with the same bra from last year? It is hard to do a comparison shot. I don't use heat very often. My hair has definitely grown since last year. The stylists don't want us telling them how to do their job. I get folks looking at me surprisingly because I don't go to a stylist yet I have been maintaining my hair just fine. Don't let her get to you.

 

[Hareitiz]

Wait a minute...

With all that hair you've got on your head, she's got the nerve to tell you it hasn't grown in 10 months? Everybody on this board can see the progress you made! Anyway, $60 is way too much money to be spending on a press. I used to get my hair pressed for $35 each time I went to see my hairdresser (I can't call her a stylist because she wasn't). Anyway, just get yourself a good flat iron and you can do it yourself. I can't do an old school press, but when I use my Maxiglide, it looks way better than any press I used to do with a pressing comb. It also takes less time and keeps your money in your pockets once you get past the initial investment when you buy the flat iron.

Yep!! After the person who used to do my hair (can't call her a hairdresser either) proceeded to scrub my hair like she was trying to get baked on food off of a dirty pan with a brillo pad, (I could feel the hairs poppin) put Pantene conditioner in it and had the nerve to tell me that that is the best conditioner ever, and burn me a few times when she pressed my hair, and still charged me the high price she normally does, it was time for me to do it myself!

 

[lana]

I just wanted to add to the other ladies by saying that your hair is gorgeous. What you're doing at home is working. I hope that you consider buying the Maxiglide, like the person before me said, it straightens better than any press I can do at home. I can old school press my hair, but there isn't a need with the Maxiglide.

I hope you find a different alternative than that particular stylist, if you want to wear your hair pressed out again.

Also, I'm proud of you (hugs) for showing her (by your body language) that you were not "having it". Sometimes it's hard for me to show people that they have offended me. I'm working on that and it makes me feel better when they know that they have crossed the line.

 

[zzirvingj]

**I am bumping this thread to let ya'll know....that almost over a whole year later from this incident, I have not been back to this stylist.

ALSO...I got a call from here in January and she left a message for me. If I recall correctly, she said she was calling to let me know her new location. I also got 2 back-to-back calls from her on this past Saturday, but she didn't leave any messages...

Since this incident I found someone else that does a great job pressing my hair (without harrasing me about my hair practices).

 

[LivingDoll]

That's NUTS!

I have a few comments...

1. What's HER hair looking like?
2. She is obviously a little envious of your PROGRESS.
3. She wants you to be unknowledgeable; knowledge is power. If you learn too much you won't need her as much.
4. She is unprofessional.
5. YOU are beautiful and SO IS YOUR HAIR!

eta: I hadn't seen your last post. I'm glad you found someone else.

 

[caribgirl]

**I am bumping this thread to let ya'll know....that almost over a whole year later from this incident, I have not been back to this stylist.

ALSO...I got a call from here in January and she left a message for me. If I recall correctly, she said she was calling to let me know her new location. I also got 2 back-to-back calls from her on this past Saturday, but she didn't leave any messages...


She has some nerve- I'm sure she misses your money .

Why don't you email to her your latest comparison pics so that she will see that you were and are in fact knowledegable and educated in regards to your haircare regimen .

You have made outstanding progress!

 

[zzirvingj]

That's NUTS!

I have a few comments...

1. What's HER hair looking like?
2. She is obviously a little envious of your PROGRESS.
3. She wants you to be unknowledgeable; knowledge is power. If you learn too much you won't need her as much.
4. She is unprofessional.
5. YOU are beautiful and SO IS YOUR HAIR!

eta: I hadn't seen your last post. I'm glad you found someone else.

Yeah, me too ...If this incident hadn't happened, I wouldn't have been going to where I go now to get my hair done...and the person that does it now "happens" to do a much better job detangling it AND pressing it...it doesn't hurt at all...and it even lasts longer than my old stylist's presses.

 

[zzirvingj]

**I am bumping this thread to let ya'll know....that almost over a whole year later from this incident, I have not been back to this stylist.

ALSO...I got a call from here in January and she left a message for me. If I recall correctly, she said she was calling to let me know her new location. I also got 2 back-to-back calls from her on this past Saturday, but she didn't leave any messages...


She has some nerve- I'm sure she misses your money .

Why don't you email to her your latest comparison pics so that she will see that you were and are in fact knowledegable and educated in regards to your haircare regimen .

You have made outstanding progress!

I'm not gonna lie and say the thought didn't cross my mind lol....

 

[SUZIEq]

Sorry you had to go through this experience!!

 

[anon123]

Okay, part of this is a rant.
. . .
I mean, I was almost CRYING when she blowdryed me. Not only that, but the entire process this time took 5 HOURS!!! (As compared to a usual 2 hours!) I did get a black rinse in my hair, which added a little to the time, but still. I think the reason why it hurt so bad is because after washing me, I sat for like 20 minutes before she started blow drying me. In other words, my hair had already started to dry/shrink. Plus, she doesn't use the type of dryer with teeth on it. She uses a regular blow dryer and combs through it with a detangling brush.

Now, here's the thing---that freakin brush is HARD. I know it's for detangling but what added to the pain was it seemed she started closer to the top/middle of my hair and combed down....rather than from the bottom, detangling the ends first, then working her way up (which is how I do it).

My brain turned to LHCF mode and I told her TWICE how it never hurts when I detangle my own hair. She told me it hurt cause I waited too long to get a press....??????? Huh? That doesn't make sense to me. I thought it hurt cause my hair was starting to dry/tangle and it basically had no product on it, as compared to when I detangle my hair, I told her how I twist it up, soak it down with conditioner and detangle in the shower under running water, section by section. I told her how the comb just glides through.

Anyways, she was not hearin it. She's good at stylin but it's her way or no way. I could tell she thought I was ignorant and miseducated about hair because she asked me why did I wear my hair in a bun so long and I told about reading stuff on this site about minimal manipulation and keeping the ends tucked under, etc. You know what she said?? She said that that was STUPID and why would I read/do things that other people who probably know NOTHING ABOUT HAIR would do???! She said if I want to RETAIN length I need to start COMBING MY HAIR EVERY DAY. And on top of that she said I should be combing it dry! She said my hair was nappier this time because I hadn't been combing it enough. I told her I detangle once a week and she said it was NOT ENOUGH.

(And get this-I asked her, how was I supposed to find time to comb my hair every day considering that would take so long. She suggested I "blow it out a little" to make it easier to comb through. Remind you-she had just said a few moments earlier if I want to retain length, I should avoid alot of heat....now she suggests blowing it every week so I can comb it every day????)


She stated that I was hurting my hair by not combing every day. She said I should be avoiding water as much as possible, too. She also made it a point to say that how can I believe the things I am reading cause if those things really did grow hair, then WHY IS MY HAIR AT THE SAME EXACT LENGTH AS 10 MONTHS AGO, THE LAST TIME SHE PRESSED IT????


I felt a little better but I had already begun to question her skills after the painful detangling experience. I kept wondering why she didn't detangle it while wet with some type of detangler on it...?

Anyways, she thought I was talking about nappturality when I mentioned this site and I corrected her. I offered to show her the site but she really didn't have time. I told her about the beautiful long haired women on LHCF Maybe I'll send her an email with the link....

Oh my goodness, this same thing happened to me. Except I didn't almost cry, I did cry. I was getting my hair blown out. I am classically "tender-headed" (like it's not supposed to hurt when you're yanking at my hair?) and it was terrible. And I asked so sincerely, "do you know how to do natural hair?" And he assured me he did. Why then did he not even really detangle my hair first? He just started blowdrying it and yanking it with a comb in one hand and the blowdryer in the other. And of course the other hair was drying and getting all matted up while he was drying other sections. I was stupid, and I really believed that "professionals" knew better than I did and that it was my fault. Because they will tell you it's your fault for not combing your hair all the time. I was told that once when I got my hair pressed, too. I do comb my hair, but just once a week. And to be frank, I care a lot less about having long hair than I do about avoiding pain.

I felt so bad for you reading your post. And it gave me terrible flashbacks. I'm sorry for all of that. I would say if you want her to press it again, do your own hair even up to the blowdrying part, or at least detangled and in sections. And then to kick you below the belt with that "why is your hair the same length?" You should have asked her why 1/2 her clients are bald-headed, cuz if she's like the average black hair stylist, I bet that's the case.

 

[lovelychar]

I am so sorry this happened to you zzirvingj Thats title of her being a stylist is prime example right there. She is exactly what her title is, A STYLIST! And you can't tell them nothing about hair care, well not her for tha tmatter because she's in a salon and have been doing hair for x amount of years. People like that really don't want to here any suggestions because they have the certification an dthe salon and know best. PUHLEAZZ She sounded so stupid and extremely uneducated in hair care and definitely unproffessional. Regardless if your stylist you should always listen to what the client wants. Regardless if its wrong or right. . You can make suggestions and strongly encourage but the bottom line is its their call and their hair and they are paying you to do what they want. I just don't get these stylist.

And that is the same reason why I have been doing my own hair for years and try to stay away from these stylist. I'm not licensed but I treat all my clients hair how I would treat my own or how they ask me to. I have been to the Dominicans a couple of times on egg shells for trims and blow outs, just to treat myself and give me a break. And best believe I had brung my own wide tooth combs, relaxer, cond. etc. And if I didn't I stop their hands before they put any product or scissors to my head, to see what it was they were using or far up they were cutting. I learned from experience so many times when ever I did go and treatmyself to a closed mouth what happens to me. Tons of hair loss form improper detangling and rough combing, brushing, and supposed to be trims. Improper conditioning, from small amounts of conditioner and short deep conditioner processing. Damage heat from not using a heat shield and etc. They are exactly what their title is A STYLIST! And stumbling upon these boards have increased my awareness that much more and are heaven sent. Shame on that stylist for how she treated you

Now I know I'm not offending any stylist in here. Cause just like myself if you are and are on LHCF then you are more than that. You are a stylist that specializes in hair care as well

 

[TrendySocialite]

WOW, talk about major disrespect.

If your stylist had said what she said at the end in the beginning, then I would think your relationship was salvagable. But now I'm not so sure.

Please do not let her discourage you from what you know is working for your hair.

ARR

 

[blazingthru]

I'm sorry this happened to you. But this is why I keep my mouth shut, unless someone asks details and I still never mention LHCF (only to strangers) . I've learned that LHCF advice is not well respected or well received by many, especially stylists. But I'm amazed at the number of ladies who go to stylists and then come back and rant because they shared LHCF hair methods and they weren't well received. Sad, but it's the norm for many.

Quick question, Why do you want to share more info, send links, etc. to someone that's not interested. No need to convince someone that doesn't even respect your views and tries to make you feel bad. BTW, I'm glad your hair came out great, because this could have been a lot worse. Your hair is very pretty.

ITA you can go to the shop and you can direct the person doing your hair exactly the way you want and if they can not or won't do it then move on. I would not share anything that I have learned. Next time you go to her if you choose to. lay it down. I am firm about how I want my hair done now. I really dont' care about their feelings its my hair and my money. THey are there to do me a service not a favor. Second. You do a lot of research on here as we all do and so of course we are going to try and see how each product. Service, application and so forth will work for us and impliment that on our hair so of course you know what works best for you . So the next time you decide to get your hair done. Arm yourself with all the knowledge you have and tell them exactly the way you want your hair done. Nothing more. Nothing more. You already know how it works for you and that really should be enough. Truthfully we sound nuts telling someone we are following advice from people we don't even know. So I keep that to myself unless I can help someone.

 

[Inches411]

i personally would go to her again but thats just me. the detangling part got me mad.

 

[blazingthru]

I didn't realize this was a year ago. Good Grief. Way to go girl. I agree I would send her pictures too of before and after and let her know that you were a faithful client but now found someone that actually listen to you and BANG look at me. now its not an insult its a wake up call. Glad to hear your doing well with your progress. I apologize I am at work and can't see pictures of anyone so I can't congratulate you on your hair.

 

[lovelychar]

ITA you can go to the shop and you can direct the person doing your hair exactly the way you want and if they can not or won't do it then move on. I would not share anything that I have learned. Next time you go to her if you choose to. lay it down. I am firm about how I want my hair done now. I really dont' care about their feelings its my hair and my money. THey are there to do me a service not a favor. Second. You do a lot of research on here as we all do and so of course we are going to try and see how each product. Service, application and so forth will work for us and impliment that on our hair so of course you know what works best for you . So the next time you decide to get your hair done. Arm yourself with all the knowledge you have and tell them exactly the way you want your hair done. Nothing more. Nothing more. You already know how it works for you and that really should be enough. Truthfully we sound nuts telling someone we are following advice from people we don't even know. So I keep that to myself unless I can help someone.

I'm kind of a advocate on this one. I mean I totally dig what your sayig about her telling her stylist about different things she has learned from a hair site and how to properly treat and maintain healthy hair from differnt people, because sometimes people can be nasty about things and have a notion that you think you know it all. But at the same time it appears as if this stylist is a perfect candidate to be receiving this info from a client with beautiful hair as zzirvingj's. It's apearant in all her statements that she is haiting on her big time by semi insulting her and giving her major bogus tips and suggestions and opps my bad things she definitely needs to be doing cause the things that she is doing is wrong!?!?!? NOt!!! and not with hair as pretty and healthy as hers. Its called freedom of speech baby. And if a STYLIST a license, working in a salon can hate, and tell somebody what they need to be doing, then zzirvingj doing the same and educating her butt on what she learned from a wonderful site on how to treat and maintain her healthy locks is well worth the knowledge and broadcast. Cause appearantly her stylist don't know crap. "You need not to be wettin your hair so much" "Stop bunning it so much" and etc. on the bogus statements and comments. I mean Come on!!!!

And Please tell me that this stylist has hair down to her calves, then and only then will I put my foot in my mouth.

 

[turnergirl]

I hate this happened to you. Sometimes reasonable people have a bad day. Maybe this is what happened with your stylist. If you have been going to her for a long time and have never had this problem then I think you should address your issues over the phone with her the next time you make an appointment to go back. Then when you go back remind her of your phone conversation before you sit in the chair.

Either way it goes your hair is dramatically longer now than it was 10 months ago. I think she was just having a really bad day.

 

[bludaydreamr]

zz, I'm sorry you had that experience with your old stylist, but I am glad that you have kept it simple and the results show. You have served as an inspiration not only to me, but many of the ladies on the board. So keep up the good work, and don't forget we have a stylist here in ATL that is a member Balisi she is very gentle and I loved the results.