go through your husband's/ SO cell phone???

[arosieworld]

Not regularly no, but I have no boundaries I will look and take it if I lose mine and he's staying home near the home phone. And he can look in my purse all he wants, I wish he would he might just clean it for me or buy me a new one. I will grab his phone while in mid sentence to ask his sister/friend/cousin if the know macy's is having a sale. I am intrusive therefore I don't need to be too sneaky. LOL

 

[yokoyokogirl]

I checked my ex's and that's how I knew he was sexing men in his free time. I had a sneaking suspicion beforehand tho. My current SO knows I'm inquisitive, but I've yet to have a reason to check.

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

I checked my ex's and that's how I knew he was sexing men in his free time. I had a sneaking suspicion beforehand tho. My current SO knows I'm inquisitive, but I've yet to have a reason to check.

man what?? what the... what did u do yokoyoko
in japan?

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I do not have the time or inclination to go through DH's phone. I have my own cell phone, work cell work and work voice mail that I need to check daily.

It's weird that anyone would need to ask permission to speak to their friends. I cannot even imagine DH telling me that I could not speak to my male friends over the phone or speak to any male friend over the phone that he did not know. Who does that? If the relationship is that damaged, maybe it's time to move on.

1-- IS IT OK TO: go through your HUSBAND's​

or SO's
CELL PHONE???​

2-- is it ok if your husband or SO
won't allow you to TOUCH their Cell Phone????​

3-- is your hubby/SO allowed to have & converse by phone w/ female "friends" ?? ....
1- what if u know them?
2- what if u DON'T know them?​

 

[cocosweet]

It would never occur to me to go through his phone. What am I checking for anyway? If I ever feel the need to start going through his phone, clearly something is amiss in our relationship.

I don't go in his email (unless he asks me to check something) either.

 

[kismettt]

1-- IS IT OK TO: go through your HUSBAND's
or SO's
CELL PHONE???

My ex gave me his passwords, let me look through his phone, etc. I would get on his accounts just out of boredom. I was used to that level of "intimacy".

With xSO, he blew up on me once about going through his phone. That was it. After that, I knew/he knew. If I touched his phone, he wouldn't say a word. Basically, he asked for privacy, and from there, it was up to me to respect it. It basically developed into a mutual understanding. "I do not appreciate you digging through my phone. But I have nothing to hide. I asked you not to do it. Do you respect me enough to comply?" I would take his phone to check the time or call my phone. But if I wanted someone's contact information, or look for anything else, I'd ask. He never gave me a reason to feel like I should snoop.

2-- is it ok if your husband or SO
won't allow you to TOUCH their Cell Phone????

That just sounds suspicious/like they're hiding something.


3-- is your hubby/SO allowed to have & converse by phone w/ female "friends" ?
I don't believe in "allowing" anyone to do anything. My xSO had a lot of friends, he was also super active at our university. That meant that people were constantly texting him asking about some org event/plan/whatever.
A man knows what is appropriate. If he doesn't, it is def not my business to tell him. I'd rather take my leave instead of teaching you common sense.

 

[BayAreaDream]

I went threw my BF cell phone about 8 months into the relationship. I just had a feeling that maybe he was in contact with an ex. Come to find out he was in contact with 2 exes! We were having issues for those first 8 months an he said that he was keeping in contact because he didn't know if we were going to make it. The issues were trust issues because I had that feeling he was up to something. We stayed together (yes stupid) an things were never the same with his phone. He never left it laying around and even put a code on it. I'm glad I checked still but what I found out was that a cell phone can reveal some crazy things! Some things you might not be ready to see. It can certainly break up a happy home! I never trusted him again.

 

[madamdot]

Agree 100% with everything you said--it's both our phones, just like the house phone, we didn't get cell phones thinking that we couldn't touch each other's phone. If he got mad because I went picked up his cell for whatever reason, then I'd know that something is wrong.

This is how we are too. He is the one who set up my telephone and email anyway and I have access to all his stuff and his to mine. We even have the same password. I don't go through his phone because I don't care to. But I feel no restrictions.

He is so open with stuff that if he ever gets nervous and wont let me touch his phone then I KNOW its time for him to pack his bags and leave.

 

[Theo]

I used to do that, but not anymore. The last time I looked through my SO's phone I found out abt an surprise b-day that he was planning and he was sooo pissed.

And I don't have a problem with SO's having female friends. I have a lot of male friends, and I would be heated if he told me to stop talking to them over the phone. That's ridiculous.

 

[lala]

Late w/response but...

1-- IS IT OK TO: go through your HUSBAND's
or SO's CELL PHONE???

I wouldn't go through DH's cell w/o asking 1st. I'm on his cellphone alot so no need. If I was suspicious of some other behavior, looking through the cellphone won't solve anything. I would know there was a problem prior to playing detective and going through a cellphone for answers.

2-- is it ok if your husband or SO
won't allow you to TOUCH their Cell Phone????

That sounds a bit extreme, sounds like a scene from a movie. I wouldn't marry/have a relationship with someone so selfish and narrow-minded.

3-- is your hubby/SO allowed to have & converse by phone w/ female "friends" ?? ....

Yes, my DH went to a large school and has tons of female friends (that I've met). I don't police his phone calls and I don't eavesdrop. You know when you can trust 'em and when you can't. Prohibiting calls to female friends won't solve an overall trust problem.

 

[MD_Lady]

It's double edged sword. On the one hand if my SO has nothing to hide why would can't I go through his phone? However I like my privacy so I can understand why someone wouldn't want their SO to go through their phone. I'm not a snoop but I'd be a little suspicious if I need to use my SO's phone or something and he insists I not touch it.

And that makes sense. I can understand a woman looking at her husband or SO a little funny if she's doing something completely harmless (needs to use his phone because it's the closest available) or hasn't expressed an interest in using his phone at all and he insists that she can't come anywhere near it. But I can't get down with a woman going through DH's or SO's to prove a point (i.e. because she "can") or because men (in general) "can't be trusted".

 

[LBoogie]

I've never gone through anyone's phone.

if it gets to a point when I feel I need to do so, that means its at a point where I need to leave.

 

[gabulldawg]

I think when you are married it's fair game. I've never seen my DH go through my phone, but I'm sure he has. I've left my phone at home by accident before, so he has been there alone with my phone, able to do whatever he wishes with it. I guess it's possible that he didn't look through it, but I wouldn't care if he did. I have nothing to hide.

I have looked through my DH's phone before, and I'm glad I did. I didn't do it because I didn't trust him, but because I'm nosey. He knew I looked through it and he didn't care (or he acted like he didn't care). I don't feel the need to look through his email and whatnot. The only time I've ever been in his email was when he asked me to find something for him.

When you get married you become transparent to your partner. Not to say that you don't deserve privacy, but IMO privacy takes a back seat within a marriage. That comes with the territory. It doesn't bother me, and I don't see the big deal about it. As for SOs, I don't think that it's right to look through their phone.

 

[snillohsss]

1-- IS IT OK TO: go through your HUSBAND's
or SO's
CELL PHONE???


2-- is it ok if your husband or SO
won't allow you to TOUCH their Cell Phone????


3-- is your hubby/SO allowed to have & converse by phone w/ female "friends" ?? ....
1- what if u know them?
2- what if u DON'T know them?
​

1. yes & no. The phone should be accessible, and each person shouldn't worry, or have a problem if the other happens to pick up said cellphone for whatever reason.

2. No! Its not ok. WTF his he trying to hide?

3. Hell no. Single women friends are nothing but trouble.

 

[Sasha299]

1. If I feel the need to go through the phone to "catch" hom or see what he is up to - NOT COOL. I'm losing control and I don't do that
2. This is a deal breaker - then I'll have to leave. It means that he is playing games and I am too old to play games. I don't do the jealous thing and cannot stand a jealous mate.
3. Yes, he has female friends and he communicates with them OK. I have male friends and I communicate with them too. If you don't have trust in a relationship it cannot work. I am saying this coming from a family where most of the men cheat. Many women mistake trust with blindness - You should never be blind but you must have trust or you will destroy yourself and the relationship. I mean, sure, because of my experience with male family members it can cross my mind when DH is working late at night but I have to relax, have faith because he has given me no red flags. If you never trust you will never enjoy your relationship and eventually your spouse will get tired of having to be on high alert all the time and you will make your relationship more vulnerable to the very thing that you are worried about.

 

[iri9109]

i think the only reason you would need to go through your man's phone is if you're looking for something. and if your man is doing something he shouldnt that you need to look for, chances are he's already covered his steps and deleted the calls and texts or stored numbers under code names etc, so you might not find what your looking for anyways. technically, its his phone and his personal property so he doesnt have to let you see it if he doesnt want to, but if he downright refuses to let you touch his phone, something aint right, he's hiding something, and you dont need to go through his phone to figure that out.

idk about the female friends, but i might not have a problem with it as long as he can hold a conversation in front of me...if he has to leave the room to talk to them, its a problem. if their phone conversations last longer than you and his do, its a problem...if she's calling at night/early morning, its also a problem. also i would prefer that we know each other, or atleast know of each other so its no confusion.

 

[chebaby]

i wouldnt look unless i KNEW for a fact that if i didnt like what i saw i would leave. IMO before you look you already know if you are going to go or stay so why fool yourself.

ive looked through SO phone but thats because i wanted to see if he would let me, not because i thought i would find something.

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

^^^^ yeah, usually you know if you wil stay

but that phone...my god, where secrets lie

DAMNED IF U DO... DAMNED IF U DON'T

 

[chelseatiara]

1-- IS IT OK TO: go through your HUSBAND's
or SO's
CELL PHONE???


2-- is it ok if your husband or SO
won't allow you to TOUCH their Cell Phone????


3-- is your hubby/SO allowed to have & converse by phone w/ female "friends" ?? ....
1- what if u know them?
2- what if u DON'T know them?
​

i ha

1. boyfriend's it's not but like i said i do. but husband wise i have the right if i so choose.
2. my bf doesnt allow me to if he knows imma just get on fb and kill his battery lol but yea if i asked for his phone he will give it up no hesitations [i just asked him for it and he gave it to without asking why i wanted it......i wanted it to take hair pics ]
3. He is only allowed to converse with sister, aunties, mama, gma, and his best girl friend. them other *****s can text IF that (1) if i know them sure (2) if i dont i ask and he tells me about them like when he on fb and i'm like who is that??!! lmao but regardless he shouldnt been on the phone for more than a few minutes with any female but me and maybe the bestie...maybe!