go through your husband's/ SO cell phone???

tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT

tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT

Well-Known Member
1-- IS IT OK TO: go through your HUSBAND's
or SO's
CELL PHONE???


2-- is it ok if your husband or SO
won't allow you to TOUCH their Cell Phone????


3-- is your hubby/SO allowed to have & converse by phone w/ female "friends" ?? ....
1- what if u know them?
2- what if u DON'T know them?
 ​
 
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no it's not "okay" because they deserve their privacy but i go through my bf's phone anyway just because i can....if he "catches" me he will get upset as i would also but he would get over it..
 
of course it's okay. It's OUR cell phone. When we got married, we became one. Nothing to hide, no secrets, and little to no privacy.

I didn't do it often, but I didn't feel wrong if I happened to glance at it. I also answered it when need be (per his request).


Certainly NOT okay for a dh to tell me I can't touch his phone, that's like screaming for me to go through it,lol!
 
it's not ok to go through cell phones, but i used to do it anyway. when you have to start looking through someone's phone, something is not right in the relationship. now i really don't care who he talks to. none of my business.
 
I think its entirely okay to do it..
I mean what would it matter UNLESS he was hiding something. If I used a cellphone (lol I actually don't have one anymore because i'm more the stay at home wife kinda girl and we have a house phone) and when I did have one, I wouldn't care if he checked it because I didn't have a thing to hide. I just got married over a year and half ago and, to be honest, I think women once they are married just get too complacent- I mean, I don't check it everyday, all the time- BUT I check it when i'll, say, see the phone sitting there..My mom who's been married over 40 something years NEVER checked and my father was doing dirt on her for most of their marriage..

I think if a husband/SO wouldn't let you touch it, there's something fishy going on... I don't buy that crap when someone says "you don't trust me?"- even if I did i'd still check... lol horrible I know.
 
For me, it isn't about having something to hide. It is about privacy. My SO's were NEVER allowed to go through my phone and I didn't go through theirs. I think it is a sign of insecurity if you need to do that. And I think it is weird that people give their SO's and spouses their passwords to their phones and voicemails. Why do I need to check his voicemail? If it is on his phone, it must be for him. Has no relevance to me. NEVER. I would end ANY relationship if he went through my phone. I do not play that.
 
It's ok if you both agree that it's ok. But sneaking to do it ain't right. My belief is if I have to do all that to check on him, I need to move on. I have looked through his cell phone, thankfully I grown into a different person.
 
I have absolutely nothing to hide, however the day my SO/DH and I go through each other's phone, internet browsing histories, emails, is the day one of us has to go. No matter how committed a couple is everyone deserves some level of privacy.

My cousin's husband cheated on her and now she's checking all his voice mails, emails, Facebook etc. That's way too much work IMO. I'd sooner divorce than stay with a man I can't trust.
 
It's not okay but in today's age, I think women should go through emails and cell phones.

My girlfriend went through her husband's email. A man she knew since high school and married , so she "knew" him. But an afternoon of going through his emails she discovered his love for chicks with dicks with phat booty's. Never in a million years did she expect that. Nor would I.

So it's all relative.. I say do a quick scan for sanity sakes and then keep it moving.

I dated this one guy. His was really cool but I often wondered had I gone through his emails what would I have found... I'll just leave it at that.

I don't believe in that whole, "if you have to check, then you don't trust blah, blah, blah" In today's age, your life can depend on what you find. Seriously, you think you "know" people but if you have nothing to hide then it's all good.
 
No, I do not think it is ok. If I have to do all that, then we really don't need to be together.

Plus some men have throw away phones, so why bother. If he is going to cheat, he is going to cheat, cellphone, email be damed.
 
foxee said:
I have absolutely nothing to hide, however the day my SO/DH and I go through each other's phone, internet browsing histories, emails, is the day one of us has to go. No matter how committed a couple is everyone deserves some level of privacy.

My cousin's husband cheated on her and now she's checking all his voice mails, emails, Facebook etc. That's way too much work IMO. I'd sooner divorce than stay with a man I can't trust.
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Thank you. A lot of people :rolleyes: at wives who place a great deal of trust in their husbands, but considering that he would be the one contacted to make life or death decisions for you if you couldn't speak on your own behalf, I think the women who feel they can't truly trust their husbands need to give some serious consideration to whether they've married the right man or if being married period is a good option for them.
 
Crystal said:
It's not okay but in today's age, I think women should go through emails and cell phones.

My girlfriend went through her husband's email. A man she knew since high school and married , so she "knew" him. But an afternoon of going through his emails she discovered his love for chicks with dicks with phat booty's. Never in a million years did she expect that. Nor would I.
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:blush::blush: So when she cofronted him, what did he say? I hope she divorced him. This is my worst fear. Have you all seen all the ads on craigslist from married men who want other men?
 
RossBoss said:
:blush::blush: So when she cofronted him, what did he say? I hope she divorced him. This is my worst fear. Have you all seen all the ads on craigslist from married men who want other men?
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She's still with him. Go figure.

She probably regrets telling me, but I think I was told out of shock.

Craigslist is where he found his suitors. She said there were HUNDREDS of emails. T4M is what the headers were... He liked Tgirls... there was a lot of gay lingo she didn't understand but what I surmised he's versatile and practiced safe sex during his ventures.

They have two children, a 7 or 8 yo and a newborn. I don't know what he said to made her stay, after the initial shock, she didn't bring it up again so we pretend.

She doesn't have a career, no money, her family is back in Trinidad... so she stays. Whatever. Couldn't be me. Searching Craigslist to have sex with transvestites would be a deal breaker for me.
 
Crystal said:
She's still with him. Go figure.

She probably regrets telling me, but I think I was told out of shock.

Craigslist is where he found his suitors. She said there were HUNDREDS of emails. T4M is what the headers were... He liked Tgirls... there was a lot of gay lingo she didn't understand but what I surmised he's versatile and practiced safe sex during his ventures.

They have two children, a 7 or 8 yo and a newborn. I don't know what he said to made her stay, after the initial shock, she didn't bring it up again so we pretend.

She doesn't have a career, no money, her family is back in Trinidad... so she stays. Whatever. Couldn't be me. Searching Craigslist to have sex with transvestites would be a deal breaker for me.
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That's awful.

I guess my biggest issue with snoopers is they find all kinds of dirt and do nothing (except for maybe cursing him out). The majority of women I know who dug up evidence of cheating never leave their men. Of course, all it does is prompt the men to find better ways to cover their tracks. My cousin's husband purchased 2 cell phones, one for him and one for his mistress. He paid for the service every month in cash (no paper trail) and left the phone in the glove box of his car. Now everytime he leaves the house she's practically hyperventilating thinking he's talking to that woman. Couldn't be me.
 
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It's double edged sword. On the one hand if my SO has nothing to hide why would can't I go through his phone? However I like my privacy so I can understand why someone wouldn't want their SO to go through their phone. I'm not a snoop but I'd be a little suspicious if I need to use my SO's phone or something and he insists I not touch it.:look:
 
I wouldn't recommend doing this unless you are prepared for what you might find. Meaning, if you find something you have to ask yourself what are you going to do?

If he's cheating are you going to leave? If not, why are you looking for something if you're still going to end up being with him.

They'll lie anyway and call YOU crazy for snooping. Then once they know you're snooping they'll just get slicker. They'll change their codes or whatever.

If you DON'T say anything about snooping and just keep a watch on him you'll still drive yourself crazy and get obsessive with checking.

I call myself a former code-cracker because guys are so stupid. But believe me, I caused myself so much grief and it didn't help so I don't want to be like that now. Bottom line, what I learned is that if I have to spend more time checking behind him than enjoying the relationship then I don't need to be in it.
 
After thinking about it, I would check my SO/DH phone. I mean, there are just toooo many cases of husbands and SO cheating. For example, a friend of mine. She is a beautiful woman and did everything right. She graduated from college and waited to have sex until she was married. She married a guy, had twins, some years into the marriage she finds out her DH is cheating so she divorces them. I believe there are very few men that you can say with 100% certainty won't cheat. 10 years, 20 years, 30 years and more into a marriage can you be sure he won't want "something new" and cheat even though you are doing everything right on your part as a wife? The stakes are higher these days with AIDS, herpes and other diseases. My health is on the line so damn right I'm going to look.
 
Ladybelle said:
of course it's okay. It's OUR cell phone. When we got married, we became one. Nothing to hide, no secrets, and little to no privacy.

I didn't do it often, but I didn't feel wrong if I happened to glance at it. I also answered it when need be (per his request).


Certainly NOT okay for a dh to tell me I can't touch his phone, that's like screaming for me to go through it,lol!
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Agree 100% with everything you said--it's both our phones, just like the house phone, we didn't get cell phones thinking that we couldn't touch each other's phone. If he got mad because I went picked up his cell for whatever reason, then I'd know that something is wrong.
 
I hate this subject and I stayed out of here because I knew what I was going to read before I read it.

I don't want to go through his cell phone. I feel like he is going to do what he wants regardless if I go through it or not. So why stress myself out looking for trouble? That's idiotic. I lock my phone because I have lots of male friends and an extremely jealous DH. I trust him, he doesn't trust me...we have been through more than a lot over the past 2 years and don't like talking about it. I feel like there is NOTHING that I can do about who he talks to...even if he is caught doing something wrong, that doesn't mean he will stop. I just don't have time for games...he knows if he messes up I'm chuckin' up the deuces. Point, Blank & Simple...
 
Crystal said:
She's still with him. Go figure.

She probably regrets telling me, but I think I was told out of shock.

Craigslist is where he found his suitors. She said there were HUNDREDS of emails. T4M is what the headers were... He liked Tgirls... there was a lot of gay lingo she didn't understand but what I surmised he's versatile and practiced safe sex during his ventures.

They have two children, a 7 or 8 yo and a newborn. I don't know what he said to made her stay, after the initial shock, she didn't bring it up again so we pretend.

She doesn't have a career, no money, her family is back in Trinidad... so she stays. Whatever. Couldn't be me. Searching Craigslist to have sex with transvestites would be a deal breaker for me.
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Not surprised, I have read those ads and there seems to be a whole lot of married men looking for men to have freaky sex with other men behind the backs of their wives. I bet you would never look at him and tell he would be like that. Yuck!
 
What's his is mine and what's mine is his. I can through his phone because it's also mine. I wish he would try to stop me.
 
Crystal said:
She's still with him. Go figure.

She probably regrets telling me, but I think I was told out of shock.

Craigslist is where he found his suitors. She said there were HUNDREDS of emails. T4M is what the headers were... He liked Tgirls... there was a lot of gay lingo she didn't understand but what I surmised he's versatile and practiced safe sex during his ventures.

They have two children, a 7 or 8 yo and a newborn. I don't know what he said to made her stay, after the initial shock, she didn't bring it up again so we pretend.

She doesn't have a career, no money, her family is back in Trinidad... so she stays. Whatever. Couldn't be me. Searching Craigslist to have sex with transvestites would be a deal breaker for me.
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i started to ask hmmmmmmm in ATL???:grin:

but I don't think my friend is on the tranny train (i-dont-think):rolleyes:

but my friend is married kids and yes.... admits to me to "doing" several women off of Craig's list. This guy is fine, a college basketball player, very handsome, married w/ kids and still resorts to plucking from craig's list

and in ATL? shyyyyte ATL & Vegas is an extra no-no
but when we first talked about this issue, he mentioned... 22 women down

I'm afraid to even approach that topic again.... just haunts me
 
Well there is a difference btwn an SO and a husband

An SO is NEVER allowed to go through my phone. You arnen't my husband. You dont own a thing and you dont' pay my bills. Keep your hands off my phone.

After marriage, well I still feel you should keep your hands off my phone, but I guess that if you all decide that you can, then it's ok. I don't know, it's a hard one
 
ThickHair said:
No, I do not think it is ok. If I have to do all that, then we really don't need to be together.

Plus some men have throw away phones, so why bother. If he is going to cheat, he is going to cheat, cellphone, email be damed.
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********** man you ain't said nothing but a word!!!:rolleyes:

when I tell you the number of men I know with 2nd and third prepaid phones:nono::nono::nono:

i just don't know if there is a win sometimes with electronics

I also know I have a lot of platonic male friends that i've never ever.....EVER met or heard their wives voices! mostly friends from way back (high school or such...college friends that hit you up frequently) I always wonder... wow all the texting and calling you do... is that OK with your wife?

maybe you should introduce us so she know's homey don't play #2 so no B.S. found here.... but I'm like maybe that would cause more problems

IDK.... men are a trip, but I guess women are too
scary
 
I have NEVER looked through my husband's cell phone in the 10 years we've been together. I have just never felt the need to check this out. But if he gave me reasons to be suspicious, yes I would look...

ETA: I have no idea if he's been through my cell. He tends to be more jealous than me so he probably has... but it doesn't bother me...
 
If I couldn't look at my DH's phone there would be a problem. I know people like to have their privacy but when you're not doing anything wrong you have nothing to hide. My husband could take my cell phone for the week and I would have nothing to fret over. When I wasn't following my vows, I would have tossed my cookies.
 
Lucie said:
If I couldn't look at my DH's phone there would be a problem. I know people like to have their privacy but when you're not doing anything wrong you have nothing to hide. My husband could take my cell phone for the week and I would have nothing to fret over. When I wasn't following my vows, I would have tossed my cookies.
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LOL... glad you're folowing those :yep::yep:

your siggy is soooo freaking cute
 
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On a normal basis no I would not but I learned my lesson with an EX, this negroid had 2 phones and would d*mn near break his neck trying to get to his phone if I even came close to it. He got himself caught up quite a few times with his phone so yes now I've learned my lesson and If I'm feeling suspicious I will look! Women's intuition is no joke!
 
I equate it with going through his wallet and him going through my purse. If foolishness is going on its going to come out without my having to go look for it.
 
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