Friend's DH is a cheat

[CukiMonstersBabyMama]

I wish all of my past friends that I "told," had JustKiyah's frame of mind. :/

 

[southern_girl]

It is your word against that man's word. Guess what, she love him and she trust him. You just the jealous girlfriend that is always causing trouble in her relationship (even more so if you are single). He's going to make you look like the enemy here. So, keep you MOUTH shut. GET PROOF!!! send it anonomously!!! If you must tell. JUST KEEP YOU MOUTH SHUT. A lot of times it is the mouth that gets us in trouble.

Thing is, I know she doesn't trust him deep down. They have had arguments about her checking his phone, why he has his stuff locked up like Ft. Knox etc.

Also, I have never said one cross word about him to her or him. So there isn't any history that he could say would be typical "messy" behavior.

I think the denial would come from not wanting to start over, take the kids away from him, untangle their bills etc. The typical stuff we do to rationalize staying in a troubled relationship.

As for proof, I have it and my thought was to send it anonymously bc of many of the reasons stated. I just don't think I could live with the fact that I knew and stood idle.

Trust me, I have prayed and prayed for guidance on this so it certainly isn't coming from a messy place.

 

[spelmanlocks]

I think you should tell her also. If I were the friend, I'd definitely want to know. A few weeks ago I told one of my friends that her man is cheating on her. Turned out that she already knew anyway, because he's pretty blatant. Its made our friendship better because now its out in the open and we talk about it a lot as she's trying to figure out what to do.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Tell her today.

I just learned that my friend's DH is cheating. It appears that he's been cheating since before the wedding too. Had I known, I would have told her immediately - before she married him. They are now entangled forever - she's pregnant.

All she can do is accept it. A true friend would not blame you as the messenger.

 

[moonglowdiva]

Thing is, I know she doesn't trust him deep down. They have had arguments about her checking his phone, why he has his stuff locked up like Ft. Knox etc.

Also, I have never said one cross word about him to her or him. So there isn't any history that he could say would be typical "messy" behavior.

I think the denial would come from not wanting to start over, take the kids away from him, untangle their bills etc. The typical stuff we do to rationalize staying in a troubled relationship.

As for proof, I have it and my thought was to send it anonymously bc of many of the reasons stated. I just don't think I could live with the fact that I knew and stood idle.

Trust me, I have prayed and prayed for guidance on this so it certainly isn't coming from a messy place.

Trust God's advise only. At this point it doesn't matter what anyone else think. Trust God on this. @ bolded: if it is bothering you that must then tell her.

 

[natural2008]

I say tell her. cheating is serious she can get HIV and'or any other STD. Not worth it. Tell her and show her the proof.

 

[honeycomb719]

No. She left him eventually. Then a year later got back with him. Now they are finalizing the divorce.

WOW, this sounds exactly like the situation I was in with my friend awhile back. I even posted a thread about it here on LHCF... You know your friend better then we do, so be careful, this could blow up in your face.

 

[Keen]

I've had this conversation with my friends. They say that they would not say anything unless they had solid proof. That sound find with me but the proof they talk about seem to be a lot. I would want my friends to tell me so I would definetely tell them.

 

[vslady]

I'm with MoonGlow on this one. Stay out of grown folks business. A wife/woman knows her husband/man and his tendencies. Why would anyone think she doesn't already know or at least suspect?