Everything was good until we kissed.....

[Kiadodie]

I wasseeing this guy & slowly trying to get to know him. Everything was good until we finally kissed last night.

I didn't feel anything at all ..I mean nothing erplexed. I really tried to ignore the fact that I wasn't physically attracted to him in the beginning BUT wow..after that kiss ...I was so done. I just knew.

I always hear women saying to ignore the looks and go for the good guy..well I just CAN"T. I mean, I can't. I tried it too many times and this was the worst one. I mean, I want to throw up thinking about the kiss.

My aunt told me to keep seeing him so he can "grow" on me . I can't do it.

That is all. :crazy:

 

[SqrpioQutie]

if u don't feel it, u just don't feel it... no shame in that.....

 

[InquiringMind]

definitely follow your instinct. don't try to force something that isn't there

 

[drasgrl]

if u don't feel it, u just don't feel it... no shame in that.....

definitely follow your instinct. don't try to force something that isn't there

I agree. Life is too short and there are too many other fish in the see to settle for that.

 

[Cichelle]

If you want to throw up just thinking about the kiss, I doubt that's ever going to change into physical attraction and/or romantic love. My advice? Say goodbye sooner rather than later. If he likes you a lot, it's more considerate not to drag it out.

 

[Phoenix14]

Fungus can grow on you...shouldn't let a man grow on you too

 

[metamorfhosis]

Hi-

I have met women who say that their husbands "grew" on them. Now this would be great if the relationship was based on a friendship. Is instant attraction really good or could it just be camouflaged as lust?

Just something to think about........

 

[prettypuff1]

Hi-

I have met women who say that their husbands "grew" on them. Now this would be great if the relationship was based on a friendship. Is instant attraction really good or could it just be camouflaged as lust?

Just something to think about........

he needs to grow on me is something different than repulsion by the thought of him kissing you.

You deserve to be with someone you are attracted to.. I know a lot of women in unhappy marriages trying to get their hubbies to grow on them.

 

[Phoenix14]

he needs to grow on me is something different than repulsion by the thought of him kissing you.

You deserve to be with someone you are attracted to.. I know a lot of women in unhappy marriages trying to get their hubbies to grow on them.

Good point...so OP does he repulse you?

 

[Kiadodie]

Good point...so OP does he repulse you?

Well, he didn't repulse me. He's ok looking...not my type but I thought let me give it a try.
The 3rd date was the first time he asked for the kiss. It was after the kiss that I was like ...I can NEVER kiss him again.

 

[Farida]

That happened to me. I liked a guy for 3 years. I enjoyed talking to him, chilling etc. My friends thought he was so hot and sexy, but I didn't. I think I was in love with the idea of being in love with him. Anyway, the day he kissed me, I wanted to throw up. I wanted to run away and throw up.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Wow! Interesting...

I have a few questions though for you women who this has happened to (wanting to throw up after a guy kisses you):

1) Was the "repulsed" feeling due to the fact that you just were never physically attracted to him in the first place? Or, was it more that the kiss itself was either weird, awkward, or nasty (ie. his lips were cracked, or too much saliva, or his breath stunk...etc.) What WAS it?

2) Do you think some guys get "repulsed" also when they FINALLY kiss some girl that they had their eye on? Or do you think this mainly happens to women since we're typically not the "pursuers"?

3) Has the opposite also happened to any of you ladies? Maybe you weren't really feeling a certain guy, but after kissing him one day you realize that he's a better kisser than you thought and you start to see him in a different light? :eyebrows2 I'm wondering too if people have had the experience where they were really into a guy, but when they finally kissed, there was just no chemistry...no feeling....nada...niente...niet....rien... lol*

I'm wondering because I'm dealing with this right now... There's this guy that's interested in me, and although I'm not attracted to him, I'm trying to at least give him a chance I guess. Before in the past I would flick off a guy like a flea if I wasn't the least bit attracted to him. I wouldn't even give him the time of day! But the older I get, the more and more I figure that perhaps I should at least give SOME of these guys a chance... Is this a bad idea?? I don't want to one day kiss him and get physically ill....

 

[Kiadodie]

Wow! Interesting...

I have a few questions though for you women who this has happened to (wanting to throw up after a guy kisses you):

1) Was the "repulsed" feeling due to the fact that you just were never physically attracted to him in the first place? Or, was it more that the kiss itself was either weird, awkward, or nasty (ie. his lips were cracked, or too much saliva, or his breath stunk...etc.) What WAS it?

Yes, the repulsed feeling was because I was NEVER physically attracted to him in the first place. The kiss was also awkward but nothing nasty about it, just awkward like it should be happening.

2) Do you think some guys get "repulsed" also when they FINALLY kiss some girl that they had their eye on? Or do you think this mainly happens to women since we're typically not the "pursuers"?

Ummm...I've never heard of a man complaining about being repulsed unless she wasn't good in bed.

3) Has the opposite also happened to any of you ladies? Maybe you weren't really feeling a certain guy, but after kissing him one day you realize that he's a better kisser than you thought and you start to see him in a different light? :eyebrows2 I'm wondering too if people have had the experience where they were really into a guy, but when they finally kissed, there was just no chemistry...no feeling....nada...niente...niet....rien... lol*

No, the opposite has never happened to me.

I'm wondering because I'm dealing with this right now... There's this guy that's interested in me, and although I'm not attracted to him, I'm trying to at least give him a chance I guess. Before in the past I would flick off a guy like a flea if I wasn't the least bit attracted to him. I wouldn't even give him the time of day! But the older I get, the more and more I figure that perhaps I should at least give SOME of these guys a chance... Is this a bad idea?? I don't want to one day kiss him and get physically ill....


You know Crystalicequeen123...that was the same thing I did w/ this guy. He wasn't my type but overall a good catch so I gave him a chance and it didn't work. See, usually if I'm not attracted to a guy, I won't even get one step closer..but I thought I'd try and it was a disaster. erplexed I mean girl, I left his house nearly in tears mainlly because I'm like why did I feel this way. I wanted it to work because like I said he is a good catch. But even the thought of the kiss right now repulses me. Meanwhile he's been texting and calling wanting to see me. I told him I was booked up all weekend.

^^^^^^^^ here are my replies to your questions..

 

[Kiadodie]

That happened to me. I liked a guy for 3 years. I enjoyed talking to him, chilling etc. My friends thought he was so hot and sexy, but I didn't. I think I was in love with the idea of being in love with him. Anyway, the day he kissed me, I wanted to throw up. I wanted to run away and throw up.

Girl, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one this happened to but as people say, if it's not there it just isn't.
The thing is, the guy is calling me and texting me about what a great time he had. Meanwhile, I"m like .

 

[TCatt86]

Wow! Interesting...

I have a few questions though for you women who this has happened to (wanting to throw up after a guy kisses you):

1) Was the "repulsed" feeling due to the fact that you just were never physically attracted to him in the first place? Or, was it more that the kiss itself was either weird, awkward, or nasty (ie. his lips were cracked, or too much saliva, or his breath stunk...etc.) What WAS it?

2) Do you think some guys get "repulsed" also when they FINALLY kiss some girl that they had their eye on? Or do you think this mainly happens to women since we're typically not the "pursuers"?

3) Has the opposite also happened to any of you ladies? Maybe you weren't really feeling a certain guy, but after kissing him one day you realize that he's a better kisser than you thought and you start to see him in a different light? :eyebrows2 I'm wondering too if people have had the experience where they were really into a guy, but when they finally kissed, there was just no chemistry...no feeling....nada...niente...niet....rien... lol*

I'm wondering because I'm dealing with this right now... There's this guy that's interested in me, and although I'm not attracted to him, I'm trying to at least give him a chance I guess. Before in the past I would flick off a guy like a flea if I wasn't the least bit attracted to him. I wouldn't even give him the time of day! But the older I get, the more and more I figure that perhaps I should at least give SOME of these guys a chance... Is this a bad idea?? I don't want to one day kiss him and get physically ill....

This happened with my former boo. I didn't know who he was until a couple of days before I kissed him. I thought he was ok looking, he had a huge head though and arrogant. Well one night I'm out in a club I get incredibly drunk all of a sudden he's the hottest thing in the club and believe me he wasn't. I would probably have never talked to him again after than, but then that man kissed me and it made me weak. Then I wasted almost 8 months of my life with him. So I should have stuck with my first inclination instead of following the butterflies I felt from his kiss.

But if you want to throw up when he kisses you, I say leave it alone. I can understand a man's looks growing on you, but if you want to throw up when he kisses you he probably won't grow on you. Tell him so he can move on and find someone that does find him attractive.

 

[Kiadodie]

This happened with my former boo. I didn't know who he was until a couple of days before I kissed him. I thought he was ok looking, he had a huge head though and arrogant. Well one night I'm out in a club I get incredibly drunk all of a sudden he's the hottest thing in the club and believe me he wasn't. I would probably have never talked to him again after than, but then that man kissed me and it made me weak. Then I wasted almost 8 months of my life with him. So I should have stuck with my first inclination instead of following the butterflies I felt from his kiss.

But if you want to throw up when he kisses you, I say leave it alone. I can understand a man's looks growing on you, but if you want to throw up when he kisses you he probably won't grow on you. Tell him so he can move on and find someone that does find him attractive.[/quote]

Yeah, but what do I tell him? Right now I'm just avoiding him.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

This happened with my former boo. I didn't know who he was until a couple of days before I kissed him. I thought he was ok looking, he had a huge head though and arrogant. Well one night I'm out in a club I get incredibly drunk all of a sudden he's the hottest thing in the club and believe me he wasn't. I would probably have never talked to him again after than, but then that man kissed me and it made me weak. Then I wasted almost 8 months of my life with him. So I should have stuck with my first inclination instead of following the butterflies I felt from his kiss.

But if you want to throw up when he kisses you, I say leave it alone. I can understand a man's looks growing on you, but if you want to throw up when he kisses you he probably won't grow on you. Tell him so he can move on and find someone that does find him attractive.

LOL! Well that one doesn't count, because you were drunk! ANYTHING and anybody would look good after a few drinks.

But I think you're right....sometimes your first inclination is probably right. Plus, I think for some of those women who said that their SO's or husbands had to "grow" on them, was more so because of the guys' personality or something...not necessarily saying that there was no attraction their on the woman's part,or that the guy's looks were awful. I could be wrong but....that's just what I think. I think sometimes we women can actually be more cruel if there is no physical attraction there whatsoever. With guys, they can find something or some "asset" about a woman that they find attractive and be intimate with her. WIth women on the other hand..... I don't think so...

Yeah, but what do I tell him? Right now I'm just avoiding him.

Oh wow...tha'ts a tough situation to be in. I know you don't want to hurt him. Why don't you try to go out with him one more time after the kiss, and if you're still not "feeling it" with him....just let him know and be honest with him and say that you think he would be better of with someone else chemistry-wise. You know? Or, maybe blame it on yourself... I don't know.

I've always just avoided the guy, but then again...I've never let a guy get close to me if I wasn't attracted to him, so I've never had the opportunity to really tell a guy that I'm not really feeling him like that if we've been "dating".

 

[Kiadodie]

Oh wow...tha'ts a tough situation to be in. I know you don't want to hurt him. Why don't you try to go out with him one more time after the kiss, and if you're still not "feeling it" with him....just let him know and be honest with him and say that you think he would be better of with someone else chemistry-wise. You know? Or, maybe blame it on yourself... I don't know.

I've always just avoided the guy, but then again...I've never let a guy get close to me if I wasn't attracted to him, so I've never had the opportunity to really tell a guy that I'm not really feeling him like that if we've been "dating".

Girl, I can't. If he tried to kiss me again, I'd

 

[robot.]

ugh. i feel for you, definitely! there's a guy interested in me now and i'd rather hurt his feelings now rather than down the line. my best friend, who's also a good friend of his, is telling me to just give him a try. but he does nothing for me. i'm not attracted to him mentally, emotionally, or physically. i think he just mistook my kindness for attraction (i'm very open and friendly with a lot of people). he's tried holding my hand and has given me a kiss on the cheek. when i think of kissing him on the lips, god, it just disgusts me so much. he's not a bad guy at all, just so not for me.

 

[TCatt86]

LOL! Well that one doesn't count, because you were drunk! ANYTHING and anybody would look good after a few drinks.

But I think you're right....sometimes your first inclination is probably right. Plus, I think for some of those women who said that their SO's or husbands had to "grow" on them, was more so because of the guys' personality or something...not necessarily saying that there was no attraction their on the woman's part,or that the guy's looks were awful. I could be wrong but....that's just what I think. I think sometimes we women can actually be more cruel if there is no physical attraction there whatsoever. With guys, they can find something or some "asset" about a woman that they find attractive and be intimate with her. WIth women on the other hand..... I don't think so...



Oh wow...tha'ts a tough situation to be in. I know you don't want to hurt him. Why don't you try to go out with him one more time after the kiss, and if you're still not "feeling it" with him....just let him know and be honest with him and say that you think he would be better of with someone else chemistry-wise. You know? Or, maybe blame it on yourself... I don't know.

I've always just avoided the guy, but then again...I've never let a guy get close to me if I wasn't attracted to him, so I've never had the opportunity to really tell a guy that I'm not really feeling him like that if we've been "dating".

Who are you telling!!?!I would look at him like, damn your head is so big!!! Then he would kiss me and I would forget.

kia-Maybe you should tell him that you aren't ready to be in a relationship or something like that. How bad was this kiss? I had to have been bad for you to want to throw up after. I'm sorry!!!

 

[Kiadodie]

Who are you telling!!?!I would look at him like, damn your head is so big!!! Then he would kiss me and I would forget.

kia-Maybe you should tell him that you aren't ready to be in a relationship or something like that. How bad was this kiss? I had to have been bad for you to want to throw up after. I'm sorry!!!

See, it's not like his breath stunk or anything disgusting like that. It just wasn't there . It was like being forced to kiss someone you don't want to...girl, even the thought of it right this minute makes me feel UGH. He does NOTHING for me. There is nothing there..NOTHING.

 

[PrettyBrownEyes]

I know exactly what you're going through Kia. I just recently stopped going out with a guy that I wasn't attracted to, I just couldn't do it. Grow on you, please, why try and wait for something like that to happen? Plus, I know I can't act fake.

I ended it by basically stating things were moving too fast, yada yada yada. They were, however, I think if I was really feeling him I don't think his constant calling would have bothered me.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

See, it's not like his breath stunk or anything disgusting like that. It just wasn't there . It was like being forced to kiss someone you don't want to...girl, even the thought of it right this minute makes me feel UGH. He does NOTHING for me. There is nothing there..NOTHING.

LOL... I understand. It was probably like kissing your brother. Nothing intrinsically wrong with the kiss physically-speaking, but just chemistry-wise....it just wasn't there. I see what you mean.

Hey, at least now you know!! Don't feel bad about it either. My mom has in the past tried to hook me up with guys and encouraged me to try and give a guy a chance JUST because he was interested in me. Meanwhile, I can't even stand the sight of the guy for more than 2 seconds.

Umm....no....I'm sorry, but I don't think PHYSICAL attraction "grows" on women. Emotional attraction....yes. Mental/intellectual attraction...maybe. But physical attraction?? Umm....not so much. Either you're attracted, or you're not. If you can't stand the sight of the guy, I don't think any amount of spending time with him, or romantic gestures is going to MAKE you attracted to him. In some cases, if the guy wasn't that bad looking and you just didn't like his personality, or his attitude, then yes...I've seen women attracted to a guy who they didn't even care for attitude-wise. But something about the guy was attracting them to him. But if there's ZERO attraction there from the get-go, it's not fair to waste his or your time trying to "find out" if that attraction will develop. Plus, men don't usually waste thier time with women that they aren't attracted to, so why should women?

I agree with other posters that say that as hard and cruel as it may seem, I think it's just best for you to call him up and let him know that you can't see him anymore. You don't even have to go into major details. It may hurt him for a little bit, but trust me...you're actually doing him a favor. He deserves someone who will really be into him. And you deserve someone that you're at least half-way attracted to.

Being honest is the best way to get out of this situation. You don't want to lead him on if your heart is really not into it. Plus A big relief will be off of your shoulders.