Ever dated a guy you suspected was gay but on the DL?

[StarScream35]

When I lived in Atlanta, I dated two guys I definitely suspected were on the DL. I caught the first guy checking out another man and the other was a little more discreet. I hand to zoom in on his mannerisms and listen to key words and pick up on nonverbal cues. Just wondering if anyone else has been with someone they thought was on the DL?

 

[Windsy]

NO........................

 

[SmileyNY]

NO........................

No, but I know a few friends & family members who are suspect.


Sent from my iPhone.

 

[Fine 4s]

Yes...He did lil' things throughout the relationship that really made me go hmmmm....so one day I asked him and well, it didn't turn out well. LOL
From then on I really liked manly men...lol

 

[**SaSSy**]

Emphatically No, I like my men hyper masculine, in public, lol

 

[kandake]

In about 2001/2002 when the DL thing was getting a lot of attention, I suspected everyone to be on the DL.

Actually, I still think about it with every dude I date.

As a side note, I think women look at "feminine" traits/mannerisms as a detector and that's not an accurate measure, AT ALL. It's the dudes you least expect.

 

[StarScream35]

In about 2001/2002 when the DL thing was getting a lot of attention, I suspected everyone to be on the DL.

Actually, I still think about it with every dude I date.

As a side note, I think women look at "feminine" traits/mannerisms as a detector and that's not an accurate measure, AT ALL. It's the dudes you least expect.

This is sooooooooo true!

 

[Klearli]

I always think someone is on the DL when they are hyper masculine...its kind of scary to me...or if they're always gay bashing, and especially if they act out of control offended by anything gay, or if they have afriend that I'm pretty sure is gay, have a gay roommate, or anything like that. Masculine men are most likely to be on the DL

ETA~wait, I should re phrase. I mean DL men, in my opinion, are more likely to be masculine gay. Because if you're an effeminate man that people decide are gay from looking at, you ain't fooling nobody

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[bluediamond0829]

Yes. Since I moved to ATL my gaydar has been in full effect!!!! I've met a couple that I dated and thought was on the DL. Never went any further because I couldn't get past the way they acted and some of their mannerisms.

Even the manly ones can be on the DL you never know.

 

[aminata]

I always think someone is on the DL when they are hyper masculine...its kind of scary to me...or if they're always gay bashing, and especially if they act out of control offended by anything gay, or if they have afriend that I'm pretty sure is gay, have a gay roommate, or anything like that. Masculine men are most likely to be on the DL

ETA~wait, I should re phrase. I mean DL men, in my opinion, are more likely to be masculine gay. Because if you're an effeminate man that people decide are gay from looking at, you ain't fooling nobody

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I agree. This is what I've observed-and some of my male friends who happen to be gay.

 

[Charz]

As a side note, I think women look at "feminine" traits/mannerisms as a detector and that's not an accurate measure, AT ALL. It's the dudes you least expect.

Exactly. Omg, he likes anything other hiphop? Dude's DL. he likes anything other than mindless action movies? DL. He wears a messanger bag? DL? Ninja wears a peacoat?! DL ALERT

Please.

 

[ChasingBliss]

No,

Gay mannerisms turn me completely off. BUT that doesnt mean anything. So I should say, I have never dated someone that appeared to be gay.

I too am attracted to Manly, man's man, alpha dog type men. But again that means nothing. Folks know how to play stuff so as to not be suspected. So you just hope for the best. NO man I've ever dated gave me any impression whatsoever that they were gay or attracted to men.

 

[StarScream35]

Reminds me of a story I heard from a girl I knew back home. She said her cousin was dating this hardcore gansta type dude who had been a gang banger for some years. Anyway, another cousin was out partying one night and caught him all hugged up with a lil queen and she was like WHAT!! Her cousin confronted him about it and he did fess up and admitted to being gay. Nobody, even his homies didn't know he was batting for the other team. Everybody was in pure shock. She showed me his picture and my bottom lip was on the floor. He was all tattoed up, do ragged up, gold teeth and basically just looked rough and hardcore. I was like oh h*ll nah!!!!!

 

[ChasingBliss]

Shoot I worked with two gay males who told me all of their stories about who they've been with. One slept with his entire high school football team, the other one said he used to F with bloods (gang members) all the time.

 

[ThickHair]

As a side note, I think women look at "feminine" traits/mannerisms as a detector and that's not an accurate measure, AT ALL. It's the dudes you least expect.

I always think someone is on the DL when they are hyper masculine...its kind of scary to me...or if they're always gay bashing, and especially if they act out of control offended by anything gay, or if they have afriend that I'm pretty sure is gay, have a gay roommate, or anything like that. Masculine men are most likely to be on the DL

ETA~wait, I should re phrase. I mean DL men, in my opinion, are more likely to be masculine gay. Because if you're an effeminate man that people decide are gay from looking at, you ain't fooling nobody

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2

ITA..................

 

[Meemee6223]

I dated a man who I think was dl. He went to the navy and when he returned he asked me to do something really odd in the bedroom. I suspected not only did he cheat on me he did it with some dude. Needless to say, that relationship ended that day...

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[ChasingBliss]

^^^I can only imagine what that odd thing was, eww. And some women dont even mind this *smh*

 

[Amerie2304]

When I lived in Atlanta, I dated two guys I definitely suspected were on the DL. I caught the first guy checking out another man and the other was a little more discreet. I hand to zoom in on his mannerisms and listen to key words and pick up on nonverbal cues. Just wondering if anyone else has been with someone they thought was on the DL?

I feel like I notice this more and more everyday. And I don't mean effeminate ones, like normal looking dudes checking each other out.

 

[StarScream35]

Amerie2304

I wanna know what's going on???? This stuff is scaring me!!!

 

[Amerie2304]

^^^You and me both. I really wonder sometimes what this world is coming to...

I work in NYC so my only guess is they feel more comfortable doing stuff like this around here since it's pretty much becoming the norm. It's not uncommon around here to see 2 men walking down the street holding hands but it's usually the effeminate looking ones.

 

[Godyssey]

I caught the first guy checking out another man

What does "checking out" really mean? I only ask because of a situtation I was in recently. I was at an Indian restaurant and my husband noticed the waiter before me. He told me that the waiter was a good looking guy, and when I looked, I agreed. He really was strikingly good looking. He looked like he could've been a model. Anyway, a bit later, the same waiter seats another couple next to us. An older white man and his wife. After the waiter walked away, I heard the man exclaim to his wife, "That is one handsome man!". I thought it was funny of course, but aside from the comment, that guy didn't strike me as being gay and neither is my husband. Women check out other women all of the time, perhaps in this day and age, men are growing more comfortable checking out other men. Not 'cause they're gay or on the DL, but for the same reasons we do it.

But now that I think of it, if my husband would've made that comment early on in our relationship, before I knew him as well as I do now. I probably would've gotten out of dodge, lol! So okay, I can see why you would be suspicious of your date.

 

[Natty_Virgo]

I have. I use to test guys and mention watching straight gay men pornos and see if they wanted to watch it with me. Or invite them out to a gay strip club. U would be surprised at how many tough looking men would go or watch "just to make me happy" that's some gay ish.

Sent from my DROID3 using DROID3

 

[aribell]

Misogynistic cultures (etc, gang bangers and rap) are so much closer to homosexuality than heterosexuality. They hate women and only respect other men. Same was true in classical Greek society (Plato, Aristotle, etc.) Women were considered the same as dogs, and real friendship was only considered possible with other men. No wonder they had a whole society filled with "man-boy" love.

So, yeah, the gang member listening to Lil' Wayne constantly should be one of the first DL suspects.

 

[niqu92]

ommmg this whole thread is reminding me of for colored girls towards the end when janet jackson finds out her husbands gay

janet: so you bending other men over?
husband: naww it aint like dat
janet: OOOH so you doing the bending?!
husband: naaww......*pause*....im just a man...who likes...to have sex....with other...men...no strings attatched...just...sex.....
o.0 lol

but i think my ex was gay
he had some feminine tendencies and he acted like he was extreemley homophobic like if i joked around and said omg youre so gay he'd get pissed.
then one day he asked me if he could put is junk in my...trunk.but the thing is we hadnt even had sex yet like instead of begging me to have (normal)sex with him he was begging me to have anal.
yeaah,we broke up after that.

 

[CrissieD]

I haven't suspected anyone but these stories about gangsta looking dudes reminds me of this one time @ band camp j/k
I was at a gay club with some friends and saw this black guy totally thugged out with this older, white QUEEN. She was wasted jumping around all crazy. Thug misses was mortified and kept looking over @ my friends and I all embarrassed.
No point to this story it was just funny lol

Sent from my Super Kewl EVO... Please blame the phone for the typos

 

[Godyssey]

This made me think of this thread! You can test your guy with this.

 

[YoungWavey]

Well once....we were at his place watching tv and I notice he had tons of VS lotions, sprays, and body wash.erplexed...Okay i thought. Then I figure maybe a gf so I was already knew I wasn't gonna see this fool again. So I said wth I pointed it out to him. He said citrus is his summer "fragrance"..at this time he's applying lotion b/c his skin is "dry"... But before that he was new to NJ and he met a "male friend from newark" ...okay...but very secretly about it...after the lotion...never spoke/saw/contacted him. He did email me later on about how i left him high and dry. Also what we had was special blah blah...plz. Lesson Learn.

I don't suspect every guy is a booty catcher but I have learn the power of "listening" does wonders! Also my sisters got a kick out of this 22 I was


Now thinking about it...I would rather it be a gf then knowing a man...Well i didn't stick around to know the truth

 

[SUPER SWEET]

I think a friend of mine's husband is gay or atleast tried gay sex as a teen. He told us this story at game night. I gotta keep making truth punch He talked about how things go down at boarding school when you hit puebrty. He said when them loins started aching they need to be fed by any means neccesary. He told about how boys have to learn some how. His wife just sat there and agreed that one time doesn't mean a thing.

Come to game night at my house you'll learn and hear a lot of the world's secrets.

 

[YoungWavey]

I think a friend of mine's husband is gay or atleast tried gay sex as a teen. He told us this story at game night. I gotta keep making truth punch He talked about how things go down at boarding school when you hit puebrty. He said when them loins started aching they need to be fed by any means neccesary. He told about how boys have to learn some how. His wife just sat there and agreed that one time doesn't mean a thing.

Come to game night at my house you'll learn and hear a lot of the world's secrets.

whatttttt? What's in your truth punch!!!!! lmfao

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

at the bolden I wanted to mention this in the boarding school thread but held back this is yet another scare ...sexuality experimenting cause there are no girls around ..

I think a friend of mine's husband is gay or atleast tried gay sex as a teen. He told us this story at game night. I gotta keep making truth punch He talked about how things go down at boarding school when you hit puebrty. He said when them loins started aching they need to be fed by any means neccesary. He told about how boys have to learn some how. His wife just sat there and agreed that one time doesn't mean a thing.

Come to game night at my house you'll learn and hear a lot of the world's secrets.