Could he be on the DL?

[yokoyokogirl]

Oh I think that if he's not gay/bi (cause some ppl don't like terms) he's probably very very open sexually. I would ask him if he's ever thought/acted on having sex with a man. And ask it like you are cool with it...like it's semi-interesting to u. (Even if its not)

That's how I found out a lot of info about my ex.

I think a lot of men are hung up on being labeled, when it comes down to it they are just "having sex"...they don't want to be "gay" or "bi"...

I'm sure my ex is swearing up and down he's not gay right now where ever he is...but I saw the photos and that sure looked like some gay action to me.

 

[Nyssa28]

Well, I have to admit, he brings up the topic of homosexuality somewhat often. Much more often than any other "straight" man I've dated

He actually sent me a link today via email, but it's too naughty to post here. It was basically about a woman giving anal pleasure to a man (a how to guide). Not sure if that changes your opinion. I'm trying to keep it g-rated

erplexed Yeah he's semi-hiding something.

 

[Kerryann]

baby girl run like a bat out of hell

 

[Bachelorette]

I really dont think a guy knowing "gay terms" makes him gay and a guy claiming not to know them doesnt make him straight either but the OP's guy is definitely on some weird ish since he harps on it alot apparently

But seriously, I knew NOTHING of tops and bottoms til my ex. And we all know how that ended up..

Spill!

 

[Serenity_Peace]

I would question any man--gay or straight--who seems obsessed with the issue. That would concern me regardless of what I thought. My concern is more along the lines of honesty. I am a strong advocate of gay rights, so that's not the issue. The issue would be why he's with me instead of being honest with himself. Well...unless he's bisexual, that is. I don't think I'd be comfortable being with a guy who is bisexual.

 

[IrrationalThoughts]

Methinks he is bi. I agree with sexuality being a continum or fluid - for some people. It may very well be that he is sexually bi (only physical) vs full on dating men and women.

Some people are out to get off anyway they can, regardless of who or how. He is probably trying to gauge your reaction, before coming right out and saying it.

You should just ask him if he enjoys M2M. Be careful how you say it he may not see as gay/bi what you see as gay/bi.

 

[SUPER SWEET]

I don't know what he is.....I would ask him straight out! It's too many STRAIGHT MEN out here to play around with this one.

 

[brownbeauty196]

If the thought crossed your mind then your intuition is telling you something.

 

[CAPlush]

I don't know. I think you should ask him. And if he brought up all this stuff on a first date, then I definitely think you should not be surprised if he is bisexual.

I don't think the terms "top" and "bottom" are words only gay men know. We were watching something on TV, and the joke was about the "pitcher" (top) and "catcher" (bottom). Also, if he's read anything about homosexuality in different cultures, taken a sociology course or women's studies course, he's probably come across an explanation that in some cultures a man is not gay unless he is a "bottom." That's the first time I ever heard of a distinction made.

Trying to convince you that there is a continuum? That would be strange for a straight guy, I would think most straight guys would think that if you are anywhere on the continuum besides 100% straight, you're gay. For most straight me, if you like men, you are gay, doesn't matter how much you like women as well, or want to get married or have kids.

 

[TayMac]

Actually, I thought that meant the guy who penetrates (on top) vs the one who GETS penetrated.

I knew an obviously gay teen who was quite active in my church. He opened up to me but refused to admit to having "fully" gay sex because "Psh, I ain't no bottom!"

Correct. Top is the giver; bottom is receiver

 

[cocoberry10]

Did you ever think he is testing you? Men do not come in Tarzan He-man and Sparkly Diva only. There are people who do not think having knowledge of other sexual orientations indicates anything about their own. I do think sexuality is a continuum, with me being on the far end of 'straight' . But I wouldn't want to be with someone who turns their nose up at my friends who are more flexible about who they want to be with. Just the same way some people don't want to be with someone who knows what 'tops' and 'bottoms' are .

I am VERY straight too. I don't care if people are flexible with their sexuality, but if you are asking me, would I be with a man that wants to be with men, then the answer is a STRAIGHT NO

 

[cocoberry10]

F that run for da hillz!

 

[cocoberry10]

Wow. Okay, that did have an impact on my opinion.

At the very least, he's sexually adventurous. He doesn't seem to have a problem talking/emailing about um. . .stuff. Have you guys known each other long enough for him to be talking about things of such an . . .intimate nature?

You know, I think I'd just have to point blank ask him where he lies on the sexuality spectrum, because it kinda sounds like he's all over the map! If he's on the dl, he's not really doing a very good job of it. I'm thinking at the very least bicurious just by the information provided on this thread.

I think the bolded is a good idea!!!!

 

[cocoberry10]

If you have to ask...

But seriously, I knew NOTHING of tops and bottoms til my ex. And we all know how that ended up.

My BFF is a straight guy and I asked him if he knew and he thought it had to do with sports. And was seriously grossed out that they had created terms for that.

I'm just sayin...

Thanks for letting me know.

 

[cocoberry10]

Oh I think that if he's not gay/bi (cause some ppl don't like terms) he's probably very very open sexually. I would ask him if he's ever thought/acted on having sex with a man. And ask it like you are cool with it...like it's semi-interesting to u. (Even if its not)

That's how I found out a lot of info about my ex.

I think a lot of men are hung up on being labeled, when it comes down to it they are just "having sex"...they don't want to be "gay" or "bi"...

I'm sure my ex is swearing up and down he's not gay right now where ever he is...but I saw the photos and that sure looked like some gay action to me.

Can you please PM me about your ex? I don't remember hearing a story about this

 

[yokoyokogirl]

Just look for the link on here called "I have to get this off my heart"...it was pretty intense.

I don't mind sharing with anyone b/c I had to talk to someone (and I couldn't tell my mom) about how I was feeling when I found out about my ex and his sexual interests (and extra activities) I now know there were "signs" but I couldn't see them.

For me the biggest sign was , "If you think something's not right, it prolly isn't"--Women's intuition is a hella a thing!