ever been told "you are not white" because of you hair regimen?

[Determined22]

I'm home visiting for the holidays, and my mom and I got into a huge thing because she refuses to believe that Black women can grow their hair past shoulder length and not be mixed with anything. She is totally stylist-dependent and just cant believe that with proper haircare and techniques that Black women can have long hair too.

Oh well, she'll be presently surprised soon enough.

 

[MizAvalon]

I've gotten those "you think you're white" comments before, never from anyone with admirable hair mind you. Still, they figured they were right. I find it very hard to change some people's mindsets about haircare since they insist on holding on to the incorrect ways.

This is what I will never understand. Why the people who like to dish this advice out never have admirable hair. It's always the one whose hair used to be long when "they were little". Um, you ain't been little in 30 years.erplexed

 

[hairsothick]

Yep, on Christmas day. My aunt was talking about how she puts vaseline in her hair and it's fine. Yes Vaseline is fine as a sealant, but it is not a moisturizer. Then she went on and on about grease and stuff.

Me: No one that I know uses grease.
Her: So none of your friends use grease on their hair.
Me: No
Her: Well it makes my hair shine
Me: A lot of things can make your hair shine
Her: Aww you just want to keep using that white people sh*t
Me: Whatever

I have stopped talking to them about hair because we happen to be one of those families where many of the women have thick, soft, and long (by black people's standards) hair so they don't get it. My aunt's hair is breaking off steadily. So much so that it is nearly 3 or 4 inches shorter than it was a year ago and that is without it being cut. She doesn't want advice though, so I don't give it to her.

 

[soulie]

this is exactly why NOBODY EVER enters my (and DH's) bathroom AND why I refuse to be a houseguest!

 

[-Love Love*]

Not white, but I was told by a beautician that its not healthy to go past at least a month with getting a relaxer. GIRL, BYE.

I also became the family laughing stock because I use Mega Tek that "horse stuff"

 

[NYAmicas]

This is what I will never understand. Why the people who like to dish this advice out never have admirable hair. It's always the one whose hair used to be long when "they were little". Um, you ain't been little in 30 years.erplexed

Right on point with that post.
Oh yes, the "when I was young" ones, the ones with nary a pic of Pochahontas hair like they claim.

 

[BostonMaria]

Nobody says anything to me now. Everybody knows I'm an encyclopedia when it comes to hair LOL

When I used to go to the salon I would tell the stylists not to cut my hair, I wanted to have long hair. They'd laugh at me and say ignorant stuff like oh you think you have good hair? And cut anyway. I wish somebody would attempt to cut my hair now. One karate chop to the neck is what they'd get! LOL

 

[ImFree27]

When I was in college, I used to wash my hair daily before I realized that my fine hair doesn't like to be wet all the time. I got that same reaction from people. "Why do wash your hair all the time, you ain't white?" Often they were a month past their last wash running around talking about "Ooooh, my scalp is just ITCHIN', girl." They'd be trying to tap it discreetly and all that mess while I'm thinking "Yeah, it's dirty. Why don't you WASH?"

When I first went natural and would wash and go, I would hear "You got (or think you got) wash and go hair like them white girls." Quiet as it is kept, everyone has relatively wash and go hair. Once you detangle and moisturize it's your choice to keep going with the flat irons, curlers, etc. I used to say "If you were happy with what God gave you, you could wash and go too." That really pissed folks off!

I don't know why people say that because white people dont wash and go....They was, blow dry, flat iron, and then flip their hair, and then maybe curl it.....If they wash and go, their hair would be a tangly mess....

 

[Sha76]

I have been told that " white " thing so many times. But When they see how fast my hair seems to grow. I wash it every 2 to 3 days. When They ask. I say a itchy scalp is a dirty scalp. And I prefer a clean scalp and skin, don't you? That usually shuts every one up.

 

[hardymem]

I've gotten some negative reactions about how much I wash my hair. People are not always supportive so I stop discussing it with them. But I got the ultimate compliment from someone I work with but rarely see last week. She told me my hair was really growing. So that let me know it is worth the while. Just shake em off girl.

 

[Menina Preta]

No, I have never been told those exact words, but my Black friends in school think I'm crazy for washing my hair during the week leading up to exams. To them, hair takes 'too long to do' so they just keep their hair dirty till we're done the exam.

 

[GoingNatural]

I have been in the same situation OP. And when I try to recommend the same regimen to friends, families or coworkers they immediately say it just works for me because i have "mixed hair" (I'm not mixed btw).

Whatever

 

[BillsBackerz67]

Ive been told this not because of my regimen but becasue I oocaionally use Suave, VO5, and Pantene which is supposely for white people

 

[trinidarkie1]

I get that from one friend in particular and I hate it, her hair is extremely coarse and it's hard for her to manage when it's not relaxed, so she avoids the frequent co-washes or washes. I also got that comment from a Hair dresser, who mocked me when I said Ojon and Frederick Fekkai.. whatever!

 

[GoingNatural]

White people and black people alike express shock when they see the brand of conditioners I use. It's really so annoying.

The worst comment I got was a time I straightened my hair, and this white girl was like "if you wash it then it won't be straight anymore, right?"

I wanted to say ****! if you wash your hair you would have to pull the flat iron back out too! what's the difference!

 

[Mad Scientist]

Oh my goodness, YES.

Me and my roommate got into it so bad one night. She knows what I think better than I do, because apparently I think I'm white. Even when I wasn't co-washing everyday, I thought I was white because of products I used. Just because something isn't in the "ethnic" section (what does that even mean anyway?) doesn't mean black people can't use it.

 

[blue_flower]

The same Black people who say "You ain't White" obviously believe that every single Black person has the same kind of hair. Washing my hair every two weeks doesn't work for my hair.

 

[ladycage]

yeah I get that alot from my mom, but I don't care. When my aunt came to my house and saw V05 in the bathroom, she said girl you can't use that white stuff on your hair its gonna make you bald. I just said yeah ok because my hair is in better condition than hers.

 

[Optimus_Prime]

Yep... but not exactly. I get it from my mother mostly, except that she is one of those people who are completely dependent on stylist (who, btw, will happily muck up her hair, and have her come back to them because it needs to be "fixed"). Anyhow, she has always looked at me with pity in her eyes and told me that I shouldn't wet my hair so often because I don't have "Spanish" hair. lol! I grew up in NY and before I start any trouble, I'll just say that Spanish people come from Spain.

 

[luxe.li.]

Ya'll are good ones, just shrugging it off. Because I would have told the white girls or black girls where to go if I knew what I knew now back in highschool. But I didn't. The only "white" comment I get is from my mother. White people wash their hair everyday, white people boil their chicken, because I LOVE boiled chicken. This is the exact mindset that sets a lot of young black girls up for failure. Because all the girls in my highschool had raggedy hair, including me. I had a nice wrap, but I wouldn't wash my hair because my mother told me if I wash it too much it would dry up, break off, and fall out. Even a friend that long long hair, her hair was fuzzy and it stayed in a bun. And not a PS bun, just a I don't know what to do with this bun.

When my hair gets longer, if people come at me sideways, please believe I will EDUCATE them. Then smile when they don't want to here it.

Right now I have a friend who wants to go natural because I'm natural now, and so is our other friend, and she's curious about her natural curl. But we went out to a club and my hair frizzed up and she's like yeah I don't know about going natural it might not be right for me. I'm like IT MIGHT NOT, BUUUTTT don't be giving me the doo doo look when my hair is SL natural and curly. Because nothing in this world comes easy. lol

 

[MizAvalon]

When my hair gets longer, if people come at me sideways, please believe I will EDUCATE them. Then smile when they don't want to here it.

You won't have to then because long haired women don't get smart mouth comments about their techniques. Folks just stand and stare with their mouths open.

 

[Belle Creole]

When I was in college, I used to wash my hair daily before I realized that my fine hair doesn't like to be wet all the time. I got that same reaction from people. "Why do wash your hair all the time, you ain't white?" Often they were a month past their last wash running around talking about "Ooooh, my scalp is just ITCHIN', girl." They'd be trying to tap it discreetly and all that mess while I'm thinking "Yeah, it's dirty. Why don't you WASH?"

When I first went natural and would wash and go, I would hear "You got (or think you got) wash and go hair like them white girls." Quiet as it is kept, everyone has relatively wash and go hair. Once you detangle and moisturize it's your choice to keep going with the flat irons, curlers, etc. I used to say "If you were happy with what God gave you, you could wash and go too." That really pissed folks off!

Ooch! Gettem'

 

[RedVelvet310]

At first, I used to get a whole bunch of commentary about it, but not so much nowsince the condition of my hair speaks for itself.

Same here. My mom and my bestfriends would scould me for my frequent co washing and my anti-grease attitude. But now its almost been 1yr after my bc (a TWA) I am now CBL(collar bone length) stretched and SL unstretched... now everyone is asking me for hair advice and complimenting me.

 

[TrustMeLove]

My mom doesn't say anything to me about my hair practices. I think she is happy I am washing it for once. In highschool I never never use to wash my hair. She would beg me to wash it. She wants to make sure I am stocked up on all my hair products, because she is always asking to borrow them when I return home for holidays or break.

I and another friend are the only folks i know IRL that take care of ALL of their hair maintenance needs on a serious level.

 

[luxe.li.]

You won't have to then because long haired women don't get smart mouth comments about their techniques. Folks just stand and stare with their mouths open.

You know what, that's right!!!

 

[delray712000]

this is funny

LOL I get the opposite. Most of my family has 3b/c hair, but my mom has 1c hair. She washes it every other day (sometimes every day). We get into fights such as the following:

Mom: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU USED ALL THE CONDITIONER ALREADY!

Me: I'm sorry, I use a lot of conditioner because --

Mom: WHY AREN'T YOU USING SHAMPOO?! YOUR HAIR IS GOING TO LOOK DISGUSTING! YOU'VE HAD THE SAME BOTTLE OF SHAMPOO FOR MONTHS!

Me: I can't use shampoo as often as you do. I wash my hair once a week and that's enough.

Mom: YOU HAVE TO WASH IT MORE OFTEN... AND STOP USING SO MUCH CONDITIONER! IT'S EXPENSIVE! AND IF YOU TOUCH MY OLIVE OIL ONE MORE TIME --

---------
Luckily, I'm away at college most of the year and I don't have to argue about my overwhelming consumption of conditioner (or my lack of shampoo use).

 

[delray712000]

you are funny.

You know what, that's right!!!

 

[Soul♥Flower]

Yep... but not exactly. I get it from my mother mostly, except that she is one of those people who are completely dependent on stylist (who, btw, will happily muck up her hair, and have her come back to them because it needs to be "fixed"). Anyhow, she has always looked at me with pity in her eyes and told me that I shouldn't wet my hair so often because I don't have "Spanish" hair. lol! I grew up in NY and before I start any trouble, I'll just say that Spanish people come from Spain.

LOL That was funny.

I don't really have anyone comment on my hair practices. But I do see it the opposite way....I live in a predominantly AA area (despite this, the ethnic section is still a whole 2 shelves long). And sometimes I see white people (men and women) perusing the black hair care section in CVS or the grocery store. But it's funny because every time someone passes them they act like they accidentally picked up what they had been looking at for the past 2 minutes, or they'll fake like they were just passing along then they'll go back and try to pick up what they wanted real quick without anyone looking.

And they usually have this look on their face like they are expecting someone to run up and yell "YOU AIN'T BLACK!!!", smack the ish out their hand, and run away. LOL!

I really don't understand the whole black vs. white hair practice thing. Just do what works for you and leave me out of it....

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

ugh i hate that. my mom says this too me because i won't slather my head in pink oil lotion. my hair is doing great with my dc's and cowashes so i'm fine without the pink stuff and grease.

 

[gymfreak336]

You won't have to then because long haired women don't get smart mouth comments about their techniques. Folks just stand and stare with their mouths open.

Ain't that the truth. I can't wait either

As a quick side note, when I colored my hair, all of my classmates were like," OMG, you dyed your own hair, you know its going to fall out, white girls can use permanent color but we can't etc..." Now months later, my hair is fine and it still is long than theirs