Embracing Your Natural Hair

[CarLiTa]

oh goodness.
no wonder when, as a new natural, i search the word "natural" in the haircare tips forum only to end up with a bunch of threads about natural hair POLITICS rather than actual advice on how to take care of my new hair.

I sure wish we'd have more discussions about caring for our natural hair

 

[dynamic1]

Girl, where you been? Folks are always feenin' to get curls out of naps and kinks, LOL. I assure you my example was not extreme.

I don't doubt some people wish they had a different hair texture for various reasons. I am not sure if you intend to come off as condescending regarding the topic of product usage. I have not seen people feenin' to get curls out of naps and kinks. Is it your belief that there are people trying to make their coffee stirrer sized coils into salt shaker sized curls with product usage (4b->3a)? If so I haven't seen it on this board nor have I seen any demonstrations that turn 4b-> 3a

However, I have seen new naturals exploring the things that their hair type is capable of in its unstraightened state. Sometimes, they are pleasantly surprised and sometimes disappointed with certain products or styling outcomes (puffs, twists, braids, wash & go, etc). If someone has never worked with their natural hair most of their life, I would expect they may do some experimenting.

Those twists in your avatar are nice? How long did those take to complete? Personally, I don't have the patience for shingling or twisting. I imagine twisting takes close to the same amount of time it would take one to shingle, make their curls pop, rake & smooth, plop, or define their kinks/curls/naps/coils.

 

[Nayna]

oh goodness.
no wonder when, as a new natural, i search the word "natural" in the haircare tips forum only to end up with a bunch of threads about natural hair POLITICS rather than actual advice on how to take care of my new hair.

I sure wish we'd have more discussions about caring for our natural hair

Word.

Just let it go.

 

[Spongie Bloom]

This thread is a lil strange, y'all know that you are all making the same point right??

 

[glamazon386]

We have our lover's quarrels from time to time but overall I love my hair. I'm just waiting for it to grow out now.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

dang, i didn't realise we had so many naturals on here for this thread to be 7 pages...​

 

[Irresistible]

This thread is a lil strange, y'all know that you are all making the same point right??

Nah not really girl

points were being made that a natural is ashamed of their natural texture if they straighten, shingle, put lots of products in their hair etc etc

points were being made that one MUST accept their hair in the raw/naked state -but with no real clear understanding of what would define that acceptance for those stating they should

points were being made that that person might have and issue or problem, and that it was felt by some to be an issue or problem in their eyes also

I personally do not care if anyone ever wears or likes their hair naked, or if they press all the time, if the never feel comfortable with their hair naked or not, if they shingle, glob on products , blow dry, weave it up, what ever! I believe they should do what they want with THEIR hair, I dont bother to fix my mind to say they are not accepting their hair texture, and are ashamed if they do these things

I wash and all of 5-10 minutes from rinse to putting product in my hair my hair is naked, so why would it be critical or an 'issue' or someone else's issue/problem that I have to somehow find a way to overly prove that I accept it in that state-when thats not how I wear it, what makes it so critical really? and to whom and why?

no the points being made were really vastly different

I dont personally feel anyone has to do anything with their hair to prove they get their natural card with me or to prove they love their hair texture

I personally feel they dont have to , and many actually wont and there is no written rule that anyone has a better natural experience never shingling, trying to define, using heavy product , or straightening or doing any of those things mentioned in the thread

now if someone is in straight up denial about their hair texture (happens all the time) and cant/wont accept it, or are just not happy with it (happens all the time), they probably wont stay natural and I'm fine with that too. I dont think in terms of shame or shame on you or any of that

I love being natural , and will stay natural for the rest of my life and I adore natural hair, but I dont impose my hair practices on others

it was like night and day-the points being made imo

 

[Irresistible]

I just read a post in another thread where someone was on there 8th or 9th transition

I cant remember who it was

but she has a right to try it /go back, decide as many times as she likes about her own hair

one of my main points is staying (not going) natural is a process and takes some learning I wont fault anyone for where they are at in their journey or what issues they are having or even if they do hope to get some curls, so what? they can do that too

they can twist out, spiral set, etc etc

it just aint that serious

I generally believe that we should be happy with our own hair, we are the ones that have to take care of it and live with it every day and nobody has to justify what they are happy with or why/why not

 

[thaidreams]

It's a constant battle for me. Somedays I love my hair and others I hate it. I can say that over the years I've come to accept that my 4a hair might never hang down my back without the assistance of heat. This was a major hurdle for me and one that I can thank God to be over.

 

[Irresistible]

After years of this now ........

I just finally see after QUITE A FEW years of this and writing a poem about it that took off like wildfire on the internet years ago, that its useless, that this kind of 'imposing, superior/inferior complex, radical ,extreme, divisive' hair crap will never cease to exist

and just when you think it might be getting better

it just aint

and it probably wont

we will always make/find a way to divide ourselves

it just wont cease, it will always be something

in the end , I can only say I am thankful I never bore such things in my heart over hair

yes, in the end I AM just thankful for that

 

[ToyToy]

I'm still working on it. But my issues have more to do with length than texture. I wish it was longer...much longer...
Other than that, I like my hair, and my hair likes me.

 

[CaramelLites]

i just want to give everyone two big thumbs up! So frequently these discussions get out of hand..... I'm excited and its so refreshing to see womenfolk behaving like ladies. I was thinking for sure a couple of days ago that the lock was coming! But everyone has handled themselves beautifully. Big up LHCF!! That this conversation is being handled in such a decorous fashion, makes me proud to be a member here.

 

[Spongie Bloom]

Nah not really girl

points were being made that a natural is ashamed of their natural texture if they straighten, shingle, put lots of products in their hair etc etc

points were being made that one MUST accept their hair in the raw/naked state -but with no real clear understanding of what would define that acceptance for those stating they should

points were being made that that person might have and issue or problem, and that it was felt by some to be an issue or problem in their eyes also

I personally do not care if anyone ever wears or likes their hair naked, or if they press all the time, if the never feel comfortable with their hair naked or not, if they shingle, glob on products , blow dry, weave it up, what ever! I believe they should do what they want with THEIR hair, I dont bother to fix my mind to say they are not accepting their hair texture, and are ashamed if they do these things

I wash and all of 5-10 minutes from rinse to putting product in my hair my hair is naked, so why would it be critical or an 'issue' or someone else's issue/problem that I have to somehow find a way to overly prove that I accept it in that state-when thats not how I wear it, what makes it so critical really? and to whom and why?

no the points being made were really vastly different

I dont personally feel anyone has to do anything with their hair to prove they get their natural card with me or to prove they love their hair texture

I personally feel they dont have to , and many actually wont and there is no written rule that anyone has a better natural experience never shingling, trying to define, using heavy product , or straightening or doing any of those things mentioned in the thread

now if someone is in straight up denial about their hair texture (happens all the time) and cant/wont accept it, or are just not happy with it (happens all the time), they probably wont stay natural and I'm fine with that too. I dont think in terms of shame or shame on you or any of that

I love being natural , and will stay natural for the rest of my life and I adore natural hair, but I dont impose my hair practices on others

it was like night and day-the points being made imo

To be quite honest I didnt see a post which said wear your natural hair in its naked state, what I read was a particular poster brought up the notion that to fully accept your natural hair you should accept it in its naked state first, To me I understood it as knowing and accepting that you hair looks a certain way before a product or manipulation (eg braidout)

kind of like how everyone knows (and hopefully) accepts what their face looks like with no makeup on she did not say walk around without any product or manipulation on it. She did not suggest that people SHOULD walk around without manipulation or any product I mean come on, No one can fully retain or have healthy hair if they never put any product or manipulate it in any way it will matt, break off etc

 

[Irresistible]

To be quite honest I didnt see a post which said wear your natural hair in its naked state, what I read was a particular poster brought up the notion that to fully accept your natural hair you should accept it in its naked state first, To me I understood it as knowing and accepting that you hair looks a certain way before a product or manipulation (eg braidout)

kind of like how everyone knows (and hopefully) accepts what their face looks like with no makeup on she did not say walk around without any product or manipulation on it. She did not suggest that people SHOULD walk around without manipulation or any product I mean come on, No one can fully retain or have healthy hair if they never put any product or manipulate it in any way it will matt, break off etc

yeah all things we already said

but of course we all know what our hair is like in its naked state, I mean we are dealing with it daily, but what level of acceptance is acceptable to 'her' when one doesnt wear their hair that way in the first place was the whole question

I still dont get why anyone would have all that much concern over what/how Someone Else feels about their OWN hair , naked , or in ANY state really

Look it doesnt matter anymore. I said all I had to say already

 

[Irresistible]

Some people need to transition their own minds in their journey with their hair, in order to free their minds of worrying over another's transition or journey with 'THEIR' hair!

free your mind and your arse will follow

no point in worrying, figuring out what another feels about their hair at all, and a judgment call on another is fruitless /bares no good fruit really

 

[Amerie123]

No offense to anyone, honestly.. but here's my take on this whole thread...

One poster asked (somewhere on the first page), "what determines if someone has embraced their natural texture?" And all I saw was people voicing their opinions on what embracing meant to them.

For one, I didn't see anyone say anything about HAVING to conform to their standards of what's acceptance. In fact, all I saw was people contributing their opinions and ideas of what "embracing" their natural texture meant to them personally.

I didn't see anyone saying that just because you use product, that mean that you don't like your natural hair. I think we can all agree that you can't judge a person based on how they wear their hair (that's obvious), and I didn't see anyone judging in this thread. However, we cant get riled up because of what people's definition of "embrace" means. Which, by the way, I thought the whole accepting your hair "raw" was a pretty good defiinition of one being able to know if they embrace their natural hair. But that's ME. MY opinion. Just to be clear.

If one doesn't agree with the definition. That's cool too. The whole point of this thread was to come in here and say whether or not YOU feel that YOU were at a point where you were embracing your natural hair and fully accepting everything involved with it.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Thats the angle I push. If I relax my hair tomorrow, does it mean I don't accept or embrace my natural hair?

And on that note.

Embracing single strand knots is a ridiculous concept.

Runs outta thread.

 

[Neith]

No offense to anyone, honestly.. but here's my take on this whole thread...

One poster asked (somewhere on the first page), "what determines if someone has embraced their natural texture?" And all I saw was people voicing their opinions on what embracing meant to them.

For one, I didn't see anyone say anything about HAVING to conform to their standards of what's acceptance. In fact, all I saw was people contributing their opinions and ideas of what "embracing" their natural texture meant to them personally.

I didn't see anyone saying that just because you use product, that mean that you don't like your natural hair. I think we can all agree that you can't judge a person based on how they wear their hair (that's obvious), and I didn't see anyone judging in this thread. However, we cant get riled up because of what people's definition of "embrace" means. Which, by the way, I thought the whole accepting your hair "raw" was a pretty good defiinition of one being able to know if they embrace their natural hair. But that's ME. MY opinion. Just to be clear.

If one doesn't agree with the definition. That's cool too. The whole point of this thread was to come in here and say whether or not YOU feel that YOU were at a point where you were embracing your natural hair and fully accepting everything involved with it.

I said it and another poster said it... the two sides are basically arguing the same point.

Yes, there are people who have real problems accepting their afro textured hair.

However, no rational person would assume that someone doesn't embrace their natural hair solely based on how they style it.

We all know our hair can be a very sensitive subject.

We have to deal with people who think our hair is "bad" and we should be ashamed of it. We have to deal with militant naturals who are the other side of the spectrum and think that if you aren't "natural enough" then you have self hate issues. Both are EQUALLY disheartening. There is some tension in the air, obviously.

 

[Irresistible]

I said it and another poster said it... the two sides are basically arguing the same point.

Yes, there are people who have real problems accepting their afro textured hair.

However, no rational person would assume that someone doesn't embrace their natural hair solely based on how they style it.

We all know our hair can be a very sensitive subject.

We have to deal with people who think our hair is "bad" and we should be ashamed of it. We have to deal with militant naturals who are the other side of the spectrum and think that if you aren't "natural enough" then you have self hate issues. Both are EQUALLY disheartening. There is some tension in the air, obviously.

No not the same point at all girl I could care less how someone feels about their hair naked nor spend one moment worrying over it or be all up in their head, nor did I decide really that they need to 'accept it' (by any criteria) -its cool if they do-but if not who cares? and I am really not concerning myself with what another does/doesnt do with their hair nor looking for their 'defining' moment when they accept their hair naked-and the sun starts shining and heavens open up *lol*- and not even bothering to ask the question (anymore) of what it would be that would tangibly show *to others* that they did. I dont care what people put in their hair or if they want curls/shingle/straight hair etc (all WERE brought up in the thread) or any of the other points that were made in the thread.

I do agree with what you have said Neith

@ Amazing yes those exact things WERE said

 

[jupitermoon]

Irresistible, I think I see where you are coming from. I understand what you mean about how some people taking embracing natural hair a little too far. I agree that people should be free to do whatever they want with their hair and that straightening the hair or using gel doesn't necessarily mean that a person does not embrace their natural hair. Also, I agree that being natural isn't for everyone and that some may not want to embrace it.

I think there's been a little misunderstanding in this thread. From what I've read people were just giving their opinions on what they consider embracing natural hair. I don't agree with everything said in this thread either, but it's just someone's opinion.

 

[Carrie A]

And on that note.

Embracing single strand knots is a ridiculous concept.

Runs outta thread.

Come back. I used to say embrace them until recently- until I figured out what a pain they are.

I think I have attained a decent level of hair acceptance although of late I've been itching for style change. I like my raw hair and wear it from time to time, but I can't go too long because of a need to detangle which for me needs mucho conditioner. Even with rinsed out conditioner my hair is not completely raw. I also rollerset for a straighter look every now and then. Despite the challenges, I'm truly happy to be relaxer free.

 

[Irresistible]

No offense to anyone, honestly.. but here's my take on this whole thread...

One poster asked (somewhere on the first page), "what determines if someone has embraced their natural texture?" And all I saw was people voicing their opinions on what embracing meant to them.

For one, I didn't see anyone say anything about HAVING to conform to their standards of what's acceptance. In fact, all I saw was people contributing their opinions and ideas of what "embracing" their natural texture meant to them personally.

I didn't see anyone saying that just because you use product, that mean that you don't like your natural hair. I think we can all agree that you can't judge a person based on how they wear their hair (that's obvious), and I didn't see anyone judging in this thread. However, we cant get riled up because of what people's definition of "embrace" means. Which, by the way, I thought the whole accepting your hair "raw" was a pretty good defiinition of one being able to know if they embrace their natural hair. But that's ME. MY opinion. Just to be clear.

If one doesn't agree with the definition. That's cool too. The whole point of this thread was to come in here and say whether or not YOU feel that YOU were at a point where you were embracing your natural hair and fully accepting everything involved with it.

you are so right about the point of this thread

and it was lost when others started saying what OTHERS needed to do with/about THEIR hair and when it started going down the road of , if a person does 'this or that' with their hair they are ASHAMED of their hair

yup whole point of the thread lost

@ The bolded yes that WAS said, well it was shingling and gobbing on of products or something like that........

I'm sure she can own up to having said it

 

[Irresistible]

Irresistible, I think I see where you are coming from. I understand what you mean about how some people taking embracing natural hair a little too far. I agree that people should be free to do whatever they want with their hair and that straightening the hair or using gel doesn't necessarily mean that a person does not embrace their natural hair. Also, I agree that being natural isn't for everyone and that some may not want to embrace it.

I think there's been a little misunderstanding in this thread. From what I've read people were just giving their opinions on what they consider embracing natural hair. I don't agree with everything said in this thread either, but it's just someone's opinion.

yeah thats pretty much my point girl

 

[jennboo]

My words, verbatim, taken from post #94

"I think if someone dislikes their raw natural hair and has to shingle it to the high heavens (or flat iron it) in order for them to be okay with it then there's still that ashamed factor going on"

 

[cdixon]

I just recently started embracing my natural hair. Before I was scared and unsure, but now that I'm wearing it out, I love it. I'm definitely taking care of myself more, and I just feel good and confident in general. I'm still working on dryness and frizziness, but that's part of being natural right??

 

[melodies815]

*timidly stepping in the thread*

I love my hair without a relaxer.

*running out of thread*



cj

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Come back. I used to say embrace them until recently- until I figured out what a pain they are.

I'm tellin ya, folks really don't understand when they only have to deal with a couple SSK's here or there. Knots are not a natural hair texture. Embracing them is like embracing a waste product.
~~~~~~~~~

I know that i'm outside the demographic, but I used to be a member of the club. Embracing your hair is really about when you look in the mirror and don't feel like you're in competition with anybody else's head of hair. It's not about proving x,y,z or preaching a doctrine, or not 'fakin da funk', embracing your hair is when you accept this part of yourself on your own terms.

 

[Irresistible]

I wonder how people would come out after spending a day in a Chemo Treatment facility/Oncology ward

would the 'hair agenda' still be so 'deep' to them then

 

[NikStarrr]

I'm tellin ya, folks really don't understand when they only have to deal with a couple SSK's here or there. Knots are not a natural hair texture. Embracing them is like embracing a waste product.
~~~~~~~~~

I know that i'm outside the demographic, but I used to be a member of the club. Embracing your hair is really about when you look in the mirror and don't feel like you're in competition with anybody else's head of hair. It's not about proving x,y,z or preaching a doctrine, or not 'fakin da funk', embracing your hair is when you accept this part of yourself on your own terms.

I'd thank you twice if I could.

 

[Irresistible]

I'd thank you twice if I could.

And 2 More times from me