Don't you see how beautiful I am?!?!?

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HUGS!

I'm skinny, but I still know how you feel.

I don't think this thread is about not thinking we are beautiful. I think it's more of a rant of men not recognizing our beauty when we know we have a lot to offer.
 
Glib, maaaaan your threads get wonkier and wonkier.

We see how beautiful you are (HUG) (KISS).

Feel better? :bighug:
 
Glib Gurl said:
I guess the fat is blocking your view.

/rant
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Wow. I giggled a bit. I guess it's the way you worded it with the title.....

You know how most men are. Physical beauty before at least getting to know you etc...

I used to feel like that when men used to just stare at my breasts all the time. They used to talk to the instead of me. :perplexed
 
From experience I have come to understand that if a woman is obviously beautiful and the man fails to tell her that she is, it is fear of losing her. He may be afraid to up her ego more than what it may be, then she may begin to understand her options are more broader and may choose to explore those options and end up with a better man than him. Men also suffer from self image, but just express very differently than women.

When you find the right guy to tell you that you are obviously beautiful, he is confident within himself enough to tell you. Remember, there is a reason for every action and you really have to analyze this person and possibly broken soul before accepting the fact that they do not believe you are beautiful. Then again, not everyone finds beauty as the same thing. I hope this person you are referring to IS NOT your SO. If it were some random guy or woman or whatever, I would ignore it and not validate myself through their standard of beauty.

If it is your SO, continue to run. My self-esteem has been brutally lowered to some extent from a verbally abusive SO. Leave now, if this continues because it will get worse and you will one day be questioning your beauty and self worth just like I did despite what you may see in the mirror or what you thought you knew about yourself.

Again this is from experience and true knowledge.
 
If you are young, beautiful, intelligent, educated, and overweight, the reality is that there are many woman who possess all the same qualities as you and are slim or only slightly overweight. It is difficult to be so nice or so smart to overcome the weight issue, when there are so many smaller women who are as smart, sweet, nice as you. Most men are not looking for a fat wife or girlfriend, just like most women are not looking for a broke, non-ambitious, unintelligent man. When you meet a really handsome, nice, but poor, uneducated man are you able to overlook those shortcomings? You are going to have to lose the weight if you want more options and to be noticed. You don't have to be skinny but very overweight will not attract the type of man I know you want. If the guy is well-educated and well-employed he is more likely looking for a slim-ish woman even if he is a bit or even very overweight. Try not to take it so personally. The fact of the matter is that there are so many slim, gorgeous, well-employed women who can't get a date or boyfriend. I know it's frustrating. But if you can figure out how to lose some of that weight you should have a better shot, at least then you can say you did all you could.

And I'm sorry you are going through this. I continue to struggle with my weight so believe me I understand how hard it is. I'm married but I notice a big difference when I am at a good weight, I mean the difference is startling how much more attention a slimmer woman gets.
 
hopeful said:
If you are young, beautiful, intelligent, educated, and overweight, the reality is that there are many woman who possess all the same qualities as you and are slim or only slightly overweight. It is difficult to be so nice or so smart to overcome the weight issue, when there are so many smaller women who are as smart, sweet, nice as you. Most men are not looking for a fat wife or girlfriend, just like most women are not looking for a broke, non-ambitious, unintelligent man. When you meet a really handsome, nice, but poor, uneducated man are you able to overlook those shortcomings? You are going to have to lose the weight if you want more options and to be noticed. You don't have to be skinny but very overweight will not attract the type of man I know you want. If the guy is well-educated and well-employed he is more likely looking for a slim-ish woman even if he is a bit or even very overweight. Try not to take it so personally. The fact of the matter is that there are so many slim, gorgeous, well-employed women who can't get a date or boyfriend. I know it's frustrating. But if you can figure out how to lose some of that weight you should have a better shot, at least then you can say you did all you could.
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I know that everything you're saying is true. I just hate that this is the reality . . . sucks to be me! Grrr!
 
Hmm...I think there are men out there who prefer all sorts of things. Fat, skinny, in between, obese, skeletal, I feel like everywhere I look I see it all. What I often wonder is why women are looking to attract men that aren't attracted to what they are, and bypassing the men who are? My sis has weight issues and major low self-esteem. She's a beautiful girl, and plenty of men would love to date woman of her looks AND size. She seems to think these are unicorns, while I see (and hear of them) them everywhere.

In the end, I think it has more to do with whether you truly see it and feel convinced enough of it to ignore the guys that don't. If, however, you really want to be one of those girls that attracts guys who like 'em thinner...that's also possible. Just gotta decide what you want for yourself--and then go get it!
 
hopeful said:
If you are young, beautiful, intelligent, educated, and overweight, the reality is that there are many woman who possess all the same qualities as you and are slim or only slightly overweight. It is difficult to be so nice or so smart to overcome the weight issue, when there are so many smaller women who are as smart, sweet, nice as you. Most men are not looking for a fat wife or girlfriend, just like most women are not looking for a broke, non-ambitious, unintelligent man. When you meet a really handsome, nice, but poor, uneducated man are you able to overlook those shortcomings? You are going to have to lose the weight if you want more options and to be noticed. You don't have to be skinny but very overweight will not attract the type of man I know you want. If the guy is well-educated and well-employed he is more likely looking for a slim-ish woman even if he is a bit or even very overweight. Try not to take it so personally. The fact of the matter is that there are so many slim, gorgeous, well-employed women who can't get a date or boyfriend. I know it's frustrating. But if you can figure out how to lose some of that weight you should have a better shot, at least then you can say you did all you could.

And I'm sorry you are going through this. I continue to struggle with my weight so believe me I understand how hard it is. I'm married but I notice a big difference when I am at a good weight, I mean the difference is startling how much more attention a slimmer woman gets.
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This was a wonderful post :yep:
 
Glib Gurl said:
I know that everything you're saying is true. I just hate that this is the reality . . . sucks to be me! Grrr!
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It could never suck to be you!:nono:. You are still you no matter what: beautiful, kind, intelligent, well-educated. My 19 year old, beautiful, slim daughter, who attends an IVY has been on dates but struggles to find or attract a sincere boyfriend. She is still beautiful and very smart:yep:, regardless. My mother who in her heyday looked something like Dorothy Dandridge, and was educated and well-employed never found the one. My father whom she married and later divorced was a monster. So I believe she would have been better off alone. Whether you find the one or not, whether you are single or not, you are still you. Take a deep breath and work on losing the weight for you first and foremost, see a therapist if necessary to get to the root of your eating. Take good care of YOU, you are precious whether any man notices or not.

ETA: You are precious whether you are slim or not. I am currently seeing a therapist who uses EFT. One of the foundational statements used with EFT is "Even though (for example: I am fat/feel rejected/am lonely/feel sad, etc.) ... I love and accept myself." You must learn to love and accept yourself no matter what.
 
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Men see the physical. Many men want slim, in shape or average sized women that are slightly overweight. My advice is to LOSE THAT WEIGHT, work on yourself phycially, mentally and emotionally as you enjoy life to the fullest! And just say to yourself, you will meet a man who sees your soul and loves you for you.

:bighug:
 
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CurlyMoo said:
Men see the physical. Many men want slim, in shape or average sized women that are slightly overweight. My advice is to LOSE THAT WEIGHT, work on yourself phycially, mentally and emotionally as you enjoy life to the fullest! And just say to yourself, you will meet a man who sees your soul and loves you for you.

:bighug:
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Meh. I'm already losing weight. (Lost 18lbs so far.) Working out several times a week and cutting back on junk. (Need to cut it out altogether.) I'm just frustrated is all.
 
You know what...I agree that men are visual creatures BUT men (like women) are also attracted to confidence. I don't think the fat is blocking them, I think it's the mindset. Being comfortable in your skin and having an air of confidence about you is what will attract the men as well.

What happens when you get skinny and you still have a fat girl mentality? You'll be skinny and you'll just find something else to be unhappy with. No man is gonna stick around for that either.

Change your mind(set) in order to change your body.
 
I've seen you Glib, so I know you are beautiful.

However, you are not having your maximum effect. You're on your way, though.:yep:
 
kweenameena said:
You know what...I agree that men are visual creatures BUT men (like women) are also attracted to confidence. I don't think the fat is blocking them, I think it's the mindset. Being comfortable in your skin and having an air of confidence about you is what will attract the men as well.

What happens when you get skinny and you still have a fat girl mentality? You'll be skinny and you'll just find something else to be unhappy with. No man is gonna stick around for that either.

Change your mind(set) in order to change your body.
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Actually my mindset is massively above and beyond what it used to be. I'm actually pretty confident these days. Therefore I'm pissed right now (as opposed to be sad I like I ordinarily would be). LOL.
 
kweenameena said:
You know what...I agree that men are visual creatures BUT men (like women) are also attracted to confidence. I don't think the fat is blocking them, I think it's the mindset. Being comfortable in your skin and having an air of confidence about you is what will attract the men as well.

What happens when you get skinny and you still have a fat girl mentality? You'll be skinny and you'll just find something else to be unhappy with. No man is gonna stick around for that either.

Change your mind(set) in order to change your body.
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This sound so sweet but lets keep it real. The weight matters to most men. Yeah confidence will make him stick around BUT what about getting him in the first place?

No offense to you Glib and not directed at you Kweenameena.....but I get so sick and tired of this kumbaya women sing to other women who are overweight when they express frustration with men who doesn't notice them ESPECIALLY when they have a very pretty face while slim toned bootylicious Lisa looking like Flava-Flav's twin stays nicely boo'd up..:nono:.
 
Cherokee-n-Black said:
Hmm...I think there are men out there who prefer all sorts of things. Fat, skinny, in between, obese, skeletal, I feel like everywhere I look I see it all. What I often wonder is why women are looking to attract men that aren't attracted to what they are, and bypassing the men who are? My sis has weight issues and major low self-esteem. She's a beautiful girl, and plenty of men would love to date woman of her looks AND size. She seems to think these are unicorns, while I see (and hear of them) them everywhere.

In the end, I think it has more to do with whether you truly see it and feel convinced enough of it to ignore the guys that don't. If, however, you really want to be one of those girls that attracts guys who like 'em thinner...that's also possible. Just gotta decide what you want for yourself--and then go get it!
Click to expand...

THIS!! What happens if you lose all the weight and then gain it back due to a medical problem or who knows. Then what?? Pick someone that loves you for you. If you want to Lose the weight, do it for yourself not to gain or attract a man.

ETA: I say this as a overweight and married woman.
 
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