Does you S/O give you enough attention?

[SelahOco]

Some days I feel like I can take endless amounts of attention from DH. It doesn't happen often but when it does he generally indulges me.

Like sometimes I wanna text a lot or I'm emailing him about something silly and he always responds. Or I go in the room and bite him or something and he just laughs like...you bored huh?

Whenever I wanna talk he always makes himself available and I'm just so grateful for it. I'm not a really needy person, but if I want to act needy, he never makes me feel bad for it.

It's quite sweet really.

Anyway, made me wonder if you're paired with a person who gives you the attention you want, an if not how you manage it.

It occurred to me one day that I must have learned somewhere along the way growing up that wanting attention is a bad thing. So even though he indulges me, I'm very grateful because I half expect him to be annoyed by it (one of my shadow beliefs maybe?)

Anyway, just curious how other people express their need for attention in relationships.

 

[Lilmama1011]

My SO is always on my derriere. He listens to everything I say though . But he is the opposite of what society review men as. He is clingy, needy and Moody. Basically what society views women as. Lol. Also he is the over the shoulder type. But it has it's positives because he goes above and beyond when he does things and will give me anything I crave or yearn because he literally loves to see me smile.

 

[TayMac]

Sometimes he slacks but in general SO does a good job of that. I did learn to speak up if I feel neglected instead of pouting/being mad and expecting him to read my mind.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Great thread needs more responses. I want a man who gives me attention and space when I need it. But I have felt guilty when I wanted attention from the guy I was dating.

 

[Aviah]

Yeah, he really does. I'm like you OP, I'd run up on him and do something silly, he used to indulge me on that, now he joins in and it's good fun.

 

[Fine 4s]

Didn't think much of it until I was showered by another guy. I like the always caressing, always touching, always needing to be close to me feeling!

 

[gabulldawg]

Yes I get plenty of attention for the most part. When I'm feeling particularly needy (like yesterday ) he is very perceptive and picks up on that and indulges me.

 

[Lilmama1011]

He also texts me daily to say he misses me or call real quick to say he misses my voice

 

[kweenameena]

My ex didn't give me much attention at all. Unless, giving me attention meant that he was getting even more attention from me.

It left me feeling needy, unwanted, and undesired. Those are part of the reasons I left him.

 

[Lilmama1011]

My ex didn't give me much attention at all. Unless, giving me attention meant that he was getting even more attention from me.

It left me feeling needy, unwanted, and undesired. Those are part of the reasons I left him.

My ex was the same way. The complete opposite of my SO

 

[PeaceFlow]

My SO is lovely to me. Occasionally I may ask for cuddles if something bad happens that he doesn't know about but usually he's affectionate anyway.

I think it's me that has the problem with recognizing when he needs attention. Sometimes I miss it through being absent minded.

 

[kupenda]

SO has learned how to give me the attention I need. He knows when I start wrestling or tickling him, I just want his attention. He obliges. At first it was weird, but he gets it

 

[tapioca_pudding]

I may have over shared..

 

[shespoison]

My ex sucked lol. I would have to ask explicitly for it. He let me love all up on him though. When we would go to bed he would have his back to me but he would inch closer to me so I could spoon him. Aww my big baby lol.

 

[Glib Gurl]

OT shespoison I love your avatar - lol!

 

[lana]

My hubby gives me great attention, even at unexpected times.

For instance, we were cleaning the house together and he grabbed me for a slow dance (the music was playing) and he sang the entire song to me and danced me around the living room until I was laughing and giggling like a teenager.

 

[levette]

No I can't relate to this all... You're a lucky lady if u have a guy who is affectionate and gives you attention

 

[baha_locks]

No. I don't really get any attention.

 

[MamitaLolita]

Only when I argue with him.

 

[RoseTintedCheeks]

Yes, he does unless he's super busy at work. Sometimes we'll get off the phone and he'll text me wyd an hour later. Or he'll call just because he misses my voice. It makes me feel good knowing he craves that time together just as much if not more than me.

 

[SouthernStunner]

He is good at given me the time I require. Lol When we first met just looking at him I thought he was hard.....naw he just a big old teddy bear.

When we text he can tell something is wrong or what kind of day I am having. He says he can hear my voice in my text. He knows then what I need. Hes a good guy that knows me too well.

 

[ONAMSHN]

Nope.........

 

[Ganjababy]

It's weird. Its weird. In beginning not enough. I was needy. He was a distant spouse. Now he is too in my face. The roles have reversed. I love him though. We will eventually sync.

 

[Brit031586]

No... And it's kind of annoying!

 

[DarkJoy]

I tend to attract the insanely attentive type. To the point I'm like and CRAVE space.

 

[PureSilver]

I can't complain because he gives me more than i give him, then there are times when i feel like he's not giving me enough. I'm a selfish Arian.

 

[chocolatethai]

Its funny cuz i came in the forum cuz i was having this exact issue, to answer the question: no. my S/O works all the time like literally 7 days a week, he has a lot going on now and i feel like im being neglected, it kinda makes me feel like im needy when im really not that girl. Outside of this issue he's a great guy and i definitely respect his ambition and work effict (sp?) but im trying to deceide what move to make i love him but he just doesnt seem to have time for me right now

 

[Kimbosheart]

Thanks for this thread. I appreciate the perspective.

 

[nesha24]

Its funny cuz i came in the forum cuz i was having this exact issue, to answer the question: no. my S/O works all the time like literally 7 days a week, he has a lot going on now and i feel like im being neglected, it kinda makes me feel like im needy when im really not that girl. Outside of this issue he's a great guy and i definitely respect his ambition and work effict (sp?) but im trying to deceide what move to make i love him but he just doesnt seem to have time for me right now

I'm in the exact same situation. I actually had to keep reading your post to make sure I didn't write it lol. I have talked to SO countless times but he doesn't get it. I'm at the point where I need to really decide if this is the right situation for me. He's great, but I need my quality time with him. Have you told your SO how you feel?

 

[NOEChic]

Yes he does. He normally makes time for me. We constantly talk, text, FaceTime and IM. If I need him he is there for me.

The only time he is not is when he is working hard. He works hard hard. He does a lot and don't have a lot of time. He doesn't know how to balance his time right. This may seem petty but it's hard to go from talking to him all day everyday to a couple of times a day. It's like I go in withdrawal lol.

When we are together we are always touching, hugging, kissing, cuddling. We sit close to each other. It's like we can't get enough of each other. When we sit across each other, I rest my feet on his feet. I love it.