1.
Well...my current dude...we've been 'together'
a hot minute.
This is the closest thing to a relationship that I've had in a LONG time.
We've been seeing each other for a year almost. He's not my 'man' (even though he tries to claim ownership more and more these days).
BUT we are exclusive.
Mostly because, in general, just never really believed in sleeping with multiple dudes at the same time. That's nasty.
erplexed
BUT, typically I do reserve the right to DATE as many men as I like, i.e., go out on dates and talk on the phone.
I like to keep my options open. Something better might come along...I like to keep an eye out for that type of thing.
2.
As far as marriage and relationships are concerned...eh. I want children. I want a family--but I don't EVER want to be 'married'.
I've seen too much. He'd have to be one helluva guy to get me to go down the aisle with him.
3.
Now--I typically do the non-committal type things but I don't do 'booty-calls'. No.
That 'call-me-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-for-some-loving' type mess?
That's not me.
I'm not some random chick. You ain't pimpin me. Have me runnin to your house like a fool. Like I got a big ***
"We Deliver' sign tacked on my forehead.
To clarify, a man cannot sustain me with sex alone. Sex is fine and dandy but after the 2nd time I'll be like,
"Ok, what am I gettin out of this?"
If I'm sleepin with you--you gon' do your part. These are my conditions, period.
It's sorta like an 'unstated' relationship.
Like, with my dude--of course, we have 'relations'
. <--that's just a funny word.
...but he also takes me out, i.e, to dinner, nice jazz clubs, cruises and such. We would talk and discuss things. He buys me lots of things, i.e, handbags
and clothes
and he pays for my spa visits
...and groceries.
Y'know--things like that.
As he should.
He's really good to me. He's a good person. We have good conversation...and of course phyically he's fine. The sex is great.
But he's not my 'man' and I'm not his 'woman'.
It's just a comfort thing, really. We're companions. We have affection for each other. There's no pressure. No obligations. Just good times.
I'll agree with CINDA.
IMO, few ppl can really handle that type of relationship without catching feelings. And men catch feelings too--don't believe that they don't.
They start 'checkin up'...
They start gettin jealous...
From my end everything is planned. If I say that I don't want a relationship...then I don't. If we begin to develop emotion for each other then we'll sit down and talk about it. But you won't catch me fallin in love no time soon.
Many men expect that a woman will or will come around later on, though. Trust and believe that.
Let 5-6 months go by and you ain't callin him and acting attached and jealous? They will wonder why. A lotta men will do certain things to gauge a woman's level of interest and attachment.
My relationship has had a minor shakeup but I think it's for the best. I
I believe in open, HONEST communication.
And...in the beginning it was whatever. He never voiced an opinion on who I was dating.
Oh, but--NOW it bothers him.
We got into the biggest fight ever on this issue like a 4 weeks ago. And it wasn't even a date, to be honest...I just had a dinner and a movie with one of my male friends.
Well--he wasn't available...I was feelin lonely so when my friend called up and we went out. I didn't want to stay at home.
I figure the reason WHY he got so pissed was because we've become so comfortable with each other. I suppose he assumed that I was just gettin more into him--and maybe took it as a clap in the face that I'd hang with some other man.
Plus a few of my male friends are dudes who have tried to date me. That's a bad look.
But--it ain't what it seemed. Sounds like a date but it's wasn't.
And me and the other dude are just cool with each other. We've never slept together. I've never even kissed him. I dont' want him. He knows this. Still, he doesn't care. He REALLY likes me. And--he's just comfortable being up under me for God know whatever reason...and I allow him this.
But--my dude didn't believe me and I was like,
"Since when do you NOT have a reason to believe anything I say...?"
He just ended it. Said we were movin in 2 different directions and
So, fine--whatever. I felt sad about it. Missed his presence.
But I just let it end.
Mostly because, hell--he was trippin. I don't want to sound heartless but I am not gon be made to feel bad about this. We are not together. Shoot, anytime he don't like how ish is arranged he can stop seeing me. It's really THAT simple! And hell I was more annoyed than anything else.
Because--he's a fool to let a good thing end like that...behind some bullish.
Plus--it wasn't even a 'date'!
That's what he gets for asking my whereabouts, anyway. It was totally innocent. Anyway I don't like lying. I happen to be very bad at it
...now I figure it may be best to. Just to save him from his damn 'sensibilities'...and me from a potential headache.
...because guess who called me the other night talkin about some
'Let's talk..."?
My dude. I KNEW he would call. They always find some excuse to call.
I was glad to hear from him. Honestly.
And the first thing out of his mouth was,
"How you not gon pick up the phone to call me?"
I said,
"Well why you ain't call me...? You the one said you ain't wanna be bothered. So far be it from me to insert myself where I ain't wanted."
Guess I'm supposed to be just ringing his phone off the hook crying and snotting and leavin crazed mssgs on his voicemail. But--of course, y'know that's what he wants, right?
That's what his little groupies used to do.
He is used to that behavior, believe me.
Then,
"You miss me?"
I said,
"Did you miss me....?"
>>sucks teeth<< "Man...there you go..."
He is just a hot mess.
..and he thinks I'm a hot mess, too...which is why we get along so well.
He is forcing me in small ways to 'soften up' and acknowledge some feelings.
I was trying to keep this on a certain level but --not sure how this will play out. And I do care for him.
Anyway I peeped his strategy. I am being 'wooed' and 'courted'. He's trying his best to wear me down. He's waiting me out.
Honestly, it I figure it might be working on some levels.
He's a good guy.
...but i'll answer anyway. 
