Do You Feel Guilty When You Reject a Nice Guy

Avaya

Avaya

Well-Known Member
The other day, this nice young man engaged me in conversation as I was walking from the train station. He was on his way to the studio to work on some music :look:. In a couple of short blocks, I learned that he was raised in Philly, a sound engineer (I think), and 26 (I'm 31 - he said we could be like Nick C. and Mariah :lol:).

Anyway, he gave me his number and told me to give him a call and let him know that I made it in safely (:lol:). Needless to say, I didn't call him and don't plan on calling him either.

I feel kind of bad because he was a nice guy (normally, when these randoms try to holler I say "No thank you" when they ask me my name and cross the street while they are in mid-sentence). I did tell him I don't "do" telephones :look:, so my not calling him shouldn't have been that big of a surprise.

Do you care when you basically reject a nice guy's advances or do you just shrug your shoulders and keep on keeping on :lol:?

I hope I don't run into him again :nono:.
 
I usually just say I have a boyfriend so he won't feel bad. That way I don't feel guilty. I think guys are used to rejection anyway though. I'm glad I'm not a guy because I couldn't handle it LOL.
 
No, I do not feel guilty and when I reject I am not rude or foul. No need. Who knows I may run into someone that I am into that knows this guy. I would rather he say, "Oh, she seems nice. I tried to kick it with her but she let me down nicely." Then for him to say, "Man, that chick if foul with a funky attitude."

Although I am 51% convinced that men dig chicks who are foul to them. Being nice to some ninja's sometimes doesn't get you anywhere. I still can't be rude though, it just isn't me.

Women are under no obligation to accept all "invitations". GTHOOHWTBS.
 
Avaya said:
Anyway, he gave me his number and told me to give him a call and let him know that I made it in safely (:lol:). Needless to say, I didn't call him and don't plan on calling him either.
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This is/was a personal pet peeve of mine. I hate when men tell me to call them or offer up their number to me, especially if they don't even bother to ask for my number. So you're hitting on me, but I'm supposed to call you? Maybe it's my southern girl side coming out, but that has always annoyed me.

Oh - and no I didn't feel guilty rejecting nice guys, lol.
 
when a guy tells ME to call HIM he's automatically written off.

i do have to say tho, i feel really bad when i turn down a nice guy. mostly bc you so often come across assh0les, that when you meet a guy with a great personality but you're not attracted to, it kind of makes you feel bad. its not bc he's not good enough or i dont appreciate the effort, it's just one of those things...
 
Sometimes I do feel guilty; however, being nice does not make us automatically compatible.
 
I feel guilty. I feel like I'm giving up something that may never come by again and that I'll end up regretting the decision.

I recently met a guy who met all my desires except height requirement and I feel so shallow.:look:
 
Not really. Just think, he could be a nut case...you really dont know him enough to deem him nice.

Also, I don't call men. That gets you written off right there.
 
If a guy approaches me respectfully and I'm not into him, yes I do feel bad but I usually tell him I have a SO so his feelings aren't hurt.:look: As for "nice" guys, I don't know how I can deem a guy nice after a few minutes of interaction. People always put up their best (or what they think is their best) side when they are trying to impress someone.:yep:

Add me to the women who don't call men. The second I even sense a guy is trying to get me to pursue him, I'm gone.
 
I feel guilty when they are short. This guy tried to talk to me and I'm not sure if he was even 5' tall. His teeth needed work too. It made me feel really superficial which is probably where my guilt came from.
 
ScorpioBeauty09 said:
As for "nice" guys, I don't know how I can deem a guy nice after a few minutes of interaction. People always put up their best (or what they think is their best) side when they are trying to impress someone.:yep:
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Well, this one guy walked up to me while I was waiting for the bus and said, "I'll eat you :grin:." So any non-perverted piece of trash qualifies as "nice" in my book :lol:. But you're right, respectful is probably a better word.
 
I used to. Now, I value my time more and its probably easier to let them know the deal. I definitely don't feel bad about not calling jerks! lol
 
I used to feel bad, but nah. Women are always made to feel guilty about rejecting men. As soon as I really thought about it (why should I feel guilty about stating what I want, don't want?), I started to let it go.
 
not really related but i have no where to post this thought.:look:

there is this Bahamian guy who lives in my building who kinda gave me the creeps. he was always trying to chat, way too friendly but not in a good way. eventually i stopped being nice and started to avoid him. he recently got the point. now i feel really bad because he was probably only being nice.:( i just saw him in the laundry room and it was incredibly awkward.

ON topic :lol:: no i don't feel bad.
 
Avaya said:
I didn't even think of this! I'm so single, I'm sangle so saying "I have a man" doesn't come to mind that quickly.
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So am I but in college my girlfriends would tell guys I have a SO when they wouldn't take the hint and leave me alone so it just kinda stuck.:perplexed Plus I don't look my age so I get youngins hitting on me and if they're nice, it's easier to tell them I'm spoken for, even though I'm not, rather than the truth, which is I don't date guys younger than me.:look:
 
Oasis said:
not really related but i have no where to post this thought.:look:

there is this Bahamian guy who lives in my building who kinda gave me the creeps. he was always trying to chat, way too friendly but not in a good way. eventually i stopped being nice and started to avoid him. he recently got the point. now i feel really bad because he was probably only being nice.:( i just saw him in the laundry room and it was incredibly awkward.

ON topic :lol:: no i don't feel bad.
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Even though that's one of my brethren: Follow your instincts. Sometimes they can be a bit pushy.
If the friendship is possible, it'll happen. (Guys have short memories for that kind of thing.)
 
If it's just some random guy who saw me and thought I was cute, then no. He'll find another woman to hit on in no time! :lol: Plus, most guys are "nice" in the beginning. :nono:
 
When I reject a nice guy, there is always that nagging feeling that I'm doing something wrong and will pay for it later. I assume you feel the same which is why you started this thread? It's a weird feeling.
 
nope. there are plenty of nice men out there. doesn't mean i have an obligation to date them b/c they are nice if nothing else is clicking. nice/respectful is expected, everything else has to click too.
 
I cant imagine dating men that come up to me on the street, or even in clubs on any day, whatever their type.

I reject people in a nice way though. I've had nice guys tell me when I bumped into them again that the way I did it helped them with confidence to try again with someone else (if they don't usually ask people out).
 
Vanthie said:
I cant imagine dating men that come up to me on the street, or even in clubs on any day, whatever their type.

I reject people in a nice way though. I've had nice guys tell me when I bumped into them again that the way I did it helped them with confidence to try again with someone else (if they don't usually ask people out).
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Please tell me how cause that is a rest skill lol
 
When I was single...never. I wasnt too big on meeting men off the street anyway so I would always lie, say I was married, IAR, etc. I dont care how nice you appeared. Everydernbody is nice when you first meet them. It's the rep.
 
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