Do you ever go out ALONE?!!

[LivingDol1]

Since this has just sort of popped up in another thread... and since it's been recommended but easier said that done....

Do you or have you ever gone out to an event alone? A night out?

I'm not talking about your friend's party where you only know the host. I'm talking about, you go out to a BAR or a CLUB by yourself. Or some other similar public event. :girlbar:

If so, did you have a good time? Did you make new friends? Was it easier to talk to people?

Or did you have a lame time and scurried on home...? or had some creeper approach you? :hippie:

I'm in this predicament where my "friends" can't seem to be available for outings and it's getting on my last nerve esp when I'm trying to "Put myself out THERE!" Someone recommended I go out alone but that's just something I don't do.

Anyway....! To the Polls!!!

 

[mscocoface]

Before I married my sweetheart I did this all the time. Most of my good friends lived in another state. I would take myself to dinner, the movies, beach, park, even to a jazz set. I figure if I can't enjoy my own company and be comfortable with me then how can I be myself around someone I want to impress or to like me.

Didn't really have anyone creepy come up to me. Or anyone who would have made me uncomfortable. I was always careful and watchful of my surroundings like were I parked and the area I was in.

It is an incredible experience I highly recommend it!

 

[dlewis]

Do you or have you ever gone out to an event alone? A night out? yes

I'm not talking about your friend's party where you only know the host. I'm talking about, you go out to a BAR or a CLUB by yourself. Or some other similar public event. I don't do bars or clubs (except for at the Memphis meetup) If I want to go to a movie and my husband or kids don't want to go. I leave them home and take myself out to diner and to the movies.

If so, did you have a good time? Did you make new friends? Was it easier to talk to people? I have more fun alone.

 

[ThickHair]

I go out by myself 95% of the time. My friends can be a bit flakey, because they sit around and wait for the guys to call then when he doesn't they want to call me and ask do I want to go out. Mean while I have already been out for a few hours and they sit home pouting because they allegedly can't go out.

Friday or Saturday scene:

Texting from work Thursday PM
Me: Hey Y, u want 2 go 2 the spot tmw night for Martini Madness?
Y: IDK, Pookie might take me out. I will let you know tmw
Me: K

Friday AM Text
Me: What up?
Y: Well I will let you know after work
Me: K

Friday around 11p Text
Y: Pookie didn't call you still want to go out
Me:

When I go out I leave my phone in the car, so I can be Ms Social Butterfly

Saturday AM (Phone call)
Y: I texted you last night so we could go out, where were you?
Me: Girl I went to the spot and had so much fun. I saw some folks I haven't seen in a while we had so much fun.
Y: Oh, I should have came, I knew he wasn't going to come through.
Me: All of us are going to D & B's tonight, you wanna go.
Y: Pookie and I might show up.
Me: Alright I will talk to you later.

BTW: I always go to the movie by myself, folks talk too much.

 

[JustKiya]

I LIKE going out by myself. Heck, that's one of the things I miss most after getting married, DH gets all mopeyfaced if I want to go out alone.

I almost always have fun, and sometimes I'll meet new people - but I'll always at the least have a conversation - assuming that's what I'm looking for.

I've had a couple of nassyarses approach me - but I just brush them off, and continue to have a good old time.

I do go to bars & clubs alone, because I like to dance - alone. *lol* I HATE dancing with other people (including DH), and going to a club alone gives me a chance to shake mah tailfeathers.

Also, there is no-one to check in with. If I go out, and ain't feeling it, and want to head home early/go someplace different/etc - I can. No negotiaging with your girl who just swears she's about to hookup, no whinging about who can afford what, no figuring out the car issue - just, dip.

 

[dlewis]

I LIKE going out by myself. Heck, that's one of the things I miss most after getting married, DH gets all mopeyfaced if I want to go out alone.

I almost always have fun, and sometimes I'll meet new people - but I'll always at the least have a conversation - assuming that's what I'm looking for.

I've had a couple of nassyarses approach me - but I just brush them off, and continue to have a good old time.

I do go to bars & clubs alone, because I like to dance - alone. *lol* I HATE dancing with other people (including DH), and going to a club alone gives me a chance to shake mah tailfeathers.

Also, there is no-one to check in with. If I go out, and ain't feeling it, and want to head home early/go someplace different/etc - I can. No negotiaging with your girl who just swears she's about to hookup, no whinging about who can afford what, no figuring out the car issue - just, dip.

My husband dances alone to. I don't dance and he loves to dance. The wedding we went to recently he was dancing and everyone was around him cheering him on. The girls were asking him to dance with them and he said naa, I don't dance with other women.

He use to dance with his mother. Many years ago they were dancing and it was the thing I have ever seen. She had her hands in the air and turning around and he was dancing around her. I told him don't ever embrass me like that again.

 

[Kerryann]

ive gone out by myself before but people look at you strange when they realize but to hell with them. I never meet anyone thats nice they always seems to creep me the hell out a bit stalkerish

 

[ThickHair]

ive gone out by myself before but people look at you strange when they realize but to hell with them. I never meet anyone thats nice they always seems to creep me the hell out a bit stalkerish

I have never observed any strange looks. IMHO if you are looking for any thing you are bound to find it. I think it is completely natural to go out alone, it makes you more approachable. I don't go out on the hunt for a man, I just go to have fun and if I end up seeing or meeting someone it is all gravy.

 

[Kerryann]

I have never observed any strange looks. IMHO if you are looking for any thing you are bound to find it. I think it is completely natural to go out alone, it makes you more approachable. I don't go out on the hunt for a man, I just go to have fun and if I end up seeing or meeting someone it is all gravy.

exactly i go to have fun but when people realize you are alone geez louisssee its bring on the jacka$$ moment

 

[TCatt86]

My husband dances alone to. I don't dance and he loves to dance. The wedding we went to recently he was dancing and everyone was around him cheering him on. The girls were asking him to dance with them and he said naa, I don't dance with other women.

He use to dance with his mother. Many years ago they were dancing and it was the thing I have ever seen. She had her hands in the air and turning around and he was dancing around her. I told him don't ever embrass me like that again.

I don't like dancing with people either!! I hate it!!! I like to get my shine on by myself. I can't cut loose by myself, when you are dancing with another person you are restricted to working with them, I don't like that.

I've never gone to a bar alone, but I'm about to start doing that, I go out to eat and the movies alone all the time.

 

[JustKiya]

ive gone out by myself before but people look at you strange when they realize but to hell with them. I never meet anyone thats nice they always seems to creep me the hell out a bit stalkerish

exactly i go to have fun but when people realize you are alone geez louisssee its bring on the jacka$$ moment

That's so interesting - I've NEVER gotten any odd looks, and I've gone out alone in multiple cities across the world.

Where are you going? That might be a factor.

 

[Kerryann]

I live in NY so that can be a factor the men here are i dont even know how to explain them but i go to lounges, movies, dinner

 

[JustKiya]

I live in NY so that can be a factor the men here are i dont even know how to explain them but i go to lounges, movies, dinner

Ah, yeah, that makes sense - NYC's social scene does seem very 'pack' orientated, based on what I've read and seen.

 

[LivingDol1]

I live in NY so that can be a factor the men here are i dont even know how to explain them but i go to lounges, movies, dinner

Ah, yeah, that makes sense - NYC's social scene does seem very 'pack' orientated, based on what I've read and seen.

see, this is my problem. i live in NYC and nobody ever goes out alone. and if you are alone, it's weird. i went to a party at a bar with friends 2 weeks ago and there was this girl who was by herself. she was bumbling around DRUNK off her ***. those are the loners you see. i never see anyone normal going out by themselves. they're always crazy.

the men here are either gay or male whores... or taken. if i were at a bar by myself, damn right, i'd meet guys. but would they be quality? probably not. would they want to get into my pants? most definitely. and that's not what i'm seeking!

 

[Lucie]

I went to a fancy restaurant alone and the waiter kept making a point of repeating that I was alone. Yes, I know man. No one is parking and no one was invited, so can I have the salmon please?

I like to go out alone. I will go to a lounge alone for kicks if DH/BFF are busy. I have a good time alone watching people, watch me trying to figure out if I got stood up.

 

[DMJ's Mom]

The closet I ever get to going out alone is taking myself out to go see a movie and maybe dinner afterwards

 

[Highly Favored8]

Treat myself to a dinner and a movie.

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

I think the only thing I can go to alone at night is a movie other than that . I really respect those of you who can go out and not care what others think.

 

[LivingDol1]

dang, i can hardly go to a movie alone. i'm such a sad pathetic excuse for a person.

 

[hopeful]

I wouldn't go to a club alone, but I do go out to the movies and dinner alone. When I was younger and single I went out alone all of the time. I like my own company and the freedom to eat where I want, stay as long as I want, pick the movie I want to see, etc. Again, never went to a club alone but will go just about anywhere else.

 

[envybeauty]

After some frustrating moments, I have gone to some nice restaurants alone for lunch or early dinner. I'll allow myself to get whatever I want on the menu (no caring about what the other person is going to get, no sharing my meal, no million questions to the waiter, just me ordering and eating). I'll get a drink or two and enjoy my meal. I do it maybe three to four times a year. I should do it more often. It is very relaxing. If I want, I'll also catch up on one or two quick calls while I wait for my meal.

The first time I ate out alone was when I went to inquire about breakfast at the hotel before an interview. Four Seasons in Philly and I was shocked to see that they had a section where there was only one person at each table. It was as if it was the norm. So I sat down, ordered, ate, looked through some newspapers and left. I liked it so much that I did it again.

 

[GeorginaSparks]

I love to go out alone to eat and do stuff. I went to the movies alone once and it sucked I will try it again for Harry Potter. When i go out alone to eat, someone always ends up paying for my meal

 

[Ramya]

I prefer to go out alone. I have more fun and meet more people that way. I meet someone wherever I go and if I go to dinner alone I usually end up at someone's table. Yesterday I took myself to lunch and the restaurant was full and this guy asked me to sit with him. He was cute and very funny. I got there at 12 and left at 6 . He paid for my meal and walked me to the car.

ETA: I'm not shy so it's nothing for me to just get up and go or to start a conversation with someone.

 

[Bunny77]

All the time. (Except to the movies... maybe one day.)

Seeing that I live alone, work from home, have to travel for work alone, etc., I would be one miserable camper if I lived my life scared to do anything without another person around.

And why be miserable? Why not look at my situation as having benefits that a whole lot of people DON'T have? Getting the opportunity to go to some of the nicest restaurants in some of the nicest cities in the country and I'm not going to do it because I don't want to be by myself?

Puh-leeze!

 

[Bunny77]

Just wanted to add: I know it can seem uncomfortable and a little weird at first to do this, and I understand the initial fear.

But I guess my question always is, what's the alternative? If you're not happy with the way things are now, then why NOT try something different?

I'd rather be alone and OUT, then alone and at home... where I'm really alone and guaranteed not to meet anybody!

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

Even I have started doing this. It's actually more fun than I thought....once I got over than I'ma have a friggin panic attack cuz I'm alone moment. I've only done this with restaurants so far, but as time goes by I'll try other places to go. Don't knock it til you try it!

 

[jennboo]

I've recently attempted to do this. Just last week, I made my way to a bar/lounge spot by myself. Sat down, had a nice drink, and listened to some live music. It was okay.

The next day, I went to another, larger, more upscale/young professional rooftop spot. I stayed for maybe 20 minutes and scurried off, lol. This particular place you need to move around and mingle, make yourself noticeable, and i was not ready for all of that.

 

[Bunny77]

I've recently attempted to do this. Just last week, I made my way to a bar/lounge spot by myself. Sat down, had a nice drink, and listened to some live music. It was okay.

The next day, I went to another, larger, more upscale/young professional rooftop spot. I stayed for maybe 20 minutes and scurried off, lol. This particular place you need to move around and mingle, make yourself noticeable, and i was not ready for all of that.

Baby steps... but I definitely give you credit for trying!

I still get nervous too, depending on the spot. In the case like the second one, I try to make "one" friend there (male or female) so that I can have a conversation. Once I've had one conversation with somebody, it's easier to have a second conversation with someone else, etc.

Sometimes, a good conversation starter can just be expressing mock frustration at not being able to find a place to put down your food plate or drinks. "Wow, it's hard to find a spot here," you might say. "Is it usually this crowded here? This is my first time here... thought I'd check out something different."

Then you've humanized yourself, and if the person is decent, they'll pick up the convo from there and maybe start asking questions. If not... move on and don't worry about them!

 

[Kalani]

I'm the forever single girl so going out alone is nothing new to me. Whether it goes well depends on the locaton. I enjoyed it the most when I spent a summer in Paris. I met all kinds of interesting people (mostly cute Parisien men ). When I went back to Paris with a boyfriend and then another time with a friend, it wasn't quite the same as when I went alone.

When I lived in NY I would go out to eat or to bars/lounges alone and usually would meet someone interesting to chat with. Even if I didn't, I could enjoy my own company while people watching.

Now that I'm back in Florida, going out alone isn't quite as comfortable. Once in a while I'll catch a matinee by myself or get a quick bit to eat, but thats about it. Last summer I did stay at a bed and breakfast by myself when I was out of town for a friend's wedding. I was surprised how enjoyable it was! Very relaxing. The innkeepers said it wasn't uncommon to have single people stay at bed and breakfasts (always thought it was just for couples). Now I'm planning another little road trip to a bed and breakfast for a relaxing little getaway to Savannah, GA (never been). Can't wait!

 

[jennboo]

Baby steps... but I definitely give you credit for trying!

I still get nervous too, depending on the spot. In the case like the second one, I try to make "one" friend there (male or female) so that I can have a conversation. Once I've had one conversation with somebody, it's easier to have a second conversation with someone else, etc.

Sometimes, a good conversation starter can just be expressing mock frustration at not being able to find a place to put down your food plate or drinks. "Wow, it's hard to find a spot here," you might say. "Is it usually this crowded here? This is my first time here... thought I'd check out something different."

Then you've humanized yourself, and if the person is decent, they'll pick up the convo from there and maybe start asking questions. If not... move on and don't worry about them!

Yes. I just need to get over myself, lol. I always feel like people are looking at me, like "Why is this black girl walking around here by herself". LOL. I know that nobody is paying me any mind, but it feels that way

Tonight might be a good night to experiment. I think I'll go back to that same rooftop bar and attempt to initiate conversation with someone, will see how it goes. And of course im much more inhibted when sober, maybe i'll kick back a Bay Breeze, get a slight buzz, to ease nerves. I hate being shy...i thought i'd grow out of this crap by now.