Do you correct you SO/DH when he is wrong?

[Charlie555]

Just curious to see if you ladies ever correct your SO when he is blatantly wrong. For example, if he uses the wrong word or rattles off facts about a top that you KNOW are wrong. This only applies to when you two are alone.

I corrected my SO on a word he used and an argument followed. He says I always correct him and treat him like he's a little kid. I kind of had a smirk on my face the whole time. Because of course we are going to ignore the fact that he was indeed wrong.

 

[Natty_Virgo]

Of course. Not in front of people but yes I do. He corrects me as well if needed.

 

[LivingInPeace]

I don't correct him about grammar but if he has facts wrong, then yes I will. I try not to correct other people' grammatical mistakes anymore. I did when I was much younger and it's annoying to people.

 

[FlowerHair]

Not often.

What's the point? I know that I know more than most people around me, so I find his little mistakes kind of cute.

No one wants to be corrected all the time.

 

[Miss617]

I'm big on proper grammar and spelling (journalism and English major in college, and I write for a living), so I correct my husband all the time. I'm trying not to do it as much because I know it gets annoying, but I honestly can't help it, it's like that part of my brain is on auto-pilot.

 

[Kindheart]

I certainly do .

 

[Charlie555]

The crazy part is there are so many times I let things slide. I'm definitely not a know it all. Maybe I do need to chill out a little more.

 

[Ganjababy]

If it's blatant and he is being stubborn I'm not going to let it slide to protect his pride. He knows I'm no ego massager.

 

[carcajada]

He's too fragile for your corrections. I've heard the "you made me feel like a kid" Schlick before and it can only get worse if you continue. Make note of how he said he felt and ask yourself next time if it's worth it.

 

[Ogoma]

It depends. Sometimes it doesn't really matter if he is wrong so I let it slide, but there are times I NEED to correct him because I cannot have him repeat that mess outside. We are one now and his embarrassing moments are now also my embarrassing moments.

 

[hopeful]

I personally think it is rude to correct people constantly. I too go on auto-pilot with correcting grammar. For instance when I'm watching tv I am always stunned at how many people say I instead of me and I will correct them out loud. Or when I read an email I will correct the grammar mistake or typo in my head. But going around correcting adults is rude and says a lot more about the corrector. Really, what is the point? To make sure the person knows you're better at something than they are? If the person is not your student or your child you are out of order. If the person needs so much mothering and correcting then why are you with them? Why not select someone who is up to your impeccable standards? I'm sure whomever you are correcting is much better than you at something and you would not want them constantly reminding you, hey you made a mistake, I caught it, and now I want to make you feel bad.

My point is that the constant correcting is a symptom of something deeper. What that something deeper is IDK. I imagine it depends on the person.

 

[tinkat]

I don't do that a lot bc I can't stand it myself. If it is something obviously incorrect yes. But I tend to not nick pick everything bc it's not necessary. It is kind of like choosing your battles. I agree with hopeful who mentioned that needing to correct everything is a deeper issue.
Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[Miss617]

I personally think it is rude to correct people constantly. I too go on auto-pilot with correcting grammar. For instance when I'm watching tv I am always stunned at how many people say I instead of me and I will correct them out loud. Or when I read an email I will correct the grammar mistake or typo in my head. But going around correcting adults is rude and says a lot more about the corrector. Really, what is the point? To make sure the person knows you're better at something than they are? If the person is not your student or your child you are out of order. If the person needs so much mothering and correcting then why are you with them? Why not select someone who is up to your impeccable standards? I'm sure whomever you are correcting is much better than you at something and you would not want them constantly reminding you, hey you made a mistake, I caught it, and now I want to make you feel bad.

My point is that the constant correcting is a symptom of something deeper. What that something deeper is IDK. I imagine it depends on the person.

I think it also depends on the person on the receiving end. Some people may appreciate being corrected because they don't realize they've made a mistake, and then it becomes a teachable moment. Others might see it as the person making the correction thinking they are better than them. If someone tells you outright, "Hey, stop correcting me," and you keep doing it, then yes, you are being rude. But that's something you can't know without the other person making it clear, and since some people don't like confrontation, it keeps going. If it gets to the point where it becomes detrimental to the relationship, then maybe it's time to reconsider a few things.

 

[hopeful]

I think it also depends on the person on the receiving end. Some people may appreciate being corrected because they don't realize they've made a mistake, and then it becomes a teachable moment. Others might see it as the person making the correction thinking they are better than them. If someone tells you outright, "Hey, stop correcting me," and you keep doing it, then yes, you are being rude. But that's something you can't know without the other person making it clear, and since some people don't like confrontation, it keeps going. If it gets to the point where it becomes detrimental to the relationship, then maybe it's time to reconsider a few things.

Well we're specifically talking about an SO or dh, so if that person doesn't seem happy with being corrected or doesn't say thank you, but instead seems irritated or annoyed or walks away then shouldn't the person take the hint? And from what I've seen most people do kindly ask please stop and the other person simply keeps doing it in some form or fashion. And it's a two-way street IMO. Both people have issues. A person putting themselves in the position to be constantly corrected is suffering. The person constantly correcting is putting themselves in the position to be constantly annoyed. IMO the question is why. Most people focus on the other person and not themselves.

 

[Aviah]

Sometimes. When it comes to grammatical errors, I do it jokingly most times or just smirk and he knows what he said was off. When it comes to factual errors that we care enough for, Google saves the day.

In the end it's really not that big of a deal, so long as I can understand what is being said to me. Likewise, disputes over trivial facts really aren't a big deal in the scheme of things.

 

[Jasmataz]

Sometimes, and when I do, I try to do it in a lighthearted way so that he doesn't take offense.

 

[Miss617]

Well we're specifically talking about an SO or dh, so if that person doesn't seem happy with being corrected or doesn't say thank you, but instead seems irritated or annoyed or walks away then shouldn't the person take the hint? And from what I've seen most people do kindly ask please stop and the other person simply keeps doing it in some form or fashion. And it's a two-way street IMO. Both people have issues. A person putting themselves in the position to be constantly corrected is suffering. The person constantly correcting is putting themselves in the position to be constantly annoyed. IMO the question is why. Most people focus on the other person and not themselves.

If there are obvious signs of annoyance, then yes, absolutely, the person should take a hint. If they keep going, well, that's a different story. I agree that it's a two-way street, but I think intent has a lot to do with it, too. I don't think everyone who does this does it maliciously or in order to feel superior. Like I said in my first post, I do it out of habit because it's my job, but I try to be conscious of being nit-picky and I let a lot of stuff slide because I know it's not worth an argument. I always try to be aware of the fact that proper grammar/spelling isn't as important to everyone else as it is to me. I don't like making people feel bad, and if someone asks me to stop, I'll stop.

 

[hopeful]

If there are obvious signs of annoyance, then yes, absolutely, the person should take a hint. If they keep going, well, that's a different story. I agree that it's a two-way street, but I think intent has a lot to do with it, too. I don't think everyone who does this does it maliciously or in order to feel superior. Like I said in my first post, I do it out of habit because it's my job, but I try to be conscious of being nit-picky and I let a lot of stuff slide because I know it's not worth an argument. I always try to be aware of the fact that proper grammar/spelling isn't as important to everyone else as it is to me. I don't like making people feel bad, and if someone asks me to stop, I'll stop.

I don't think the correcting person is intentionally being mean , that is not what I was trying to say. I'm saying there is a deeper reason for all of the correcting and nitpicking. And I believe it's deeper than going on auto-pilot or loving grammar, etc. Something beneath the surface, subconscious thoughts, family of origin dynamics, etc.

 

[Cichelle]

English is not my husband's first language. I correct him when he makes mistakes when he is speaking English. But I don't know why I bother anymore. I've been correcting the same mistakes for over fifteen years now, lol. He likes to know the correct way to say or write something in English, but it doesn't stick.

I rarely correct him on facts as our spheres of knowledge are so widely different that it's rare that either of us can correct the other. I will sometimes give him alternate ways of looking at a situation if I think there is something he's missing. That's about all.

 

[mallysmommy]

SO is usually the one who is right. I'll have him proof read my papers or ask him questions. He is like an encyclopedia.

 

[Miss617]

I don't think the correcting person is intentionally being mean , that is not what I was trying to say. I'm saying there is a deeper reason for all of the correcting and nitpicking. And I believe it's deeper than going on auto-pilot or loving grammar, etc. Something beneath the surface, subconscious thoughts, family of origin dynamics, etc.

I apologize, I didn't mean to imply that that's what you were saying! I should have clarified that I was trying to make a distinction between people who do it because they like being right/feeling superior - because there are people like that - and those who do it because of their upbringing, profession, education, etc. I actually agree with your point that the reason is often deeper seated, and sometimes those are unknown even to the person making the correction. If someone really wants to figure out why they feel the need to correct, then they might come up with something like the examples you've given.

 

[pre_medicalrulz]

Nope. No reason. He never rambles about things that are not in scripture.

 

[Charlie555]

I don't mind being corrected. For example a few years ago when quinoa became popular I pronounced it so wrong LOL. I think I called it quin-o-a. While conversing with my stepmothers sister she said oh you mean keen-wah. I thanked her for letting me know I was wrong. I did google it later just to make sure she was right

And my SO corrects me and I'm ok with it. When I correct him I'm not coming from a mean spirited place.

 

[Charlie555]

It depends. Sometimes it doesn't really matter if he is wrong so I let it slide, but there are times I NEED to correct him because I cannot have him repeat that mess outside. We are one now and his embarrassing moments are now also my embarrassing moments.

I couldn't agree more. Ogoma

 

[Ogoma]

I don't mind being corrected. For example a few years ago when quinoa became popular I pronounced it so wrong LOL. I think I called it quin-o-a. While conversing with my stepmothers sister she said oh you mean keen-wah. I thanked her for letting me know I was wrong. I did google it later just to make sure she was right

And my SO corrects me and I'm ok with it. When I correct him I'm not coming from a mean spirited place.

He corrects me as well and I have no problems with it. I think it depends on the relationship. I don't correct grammar because mine is all over the place and I like to drop in Nigerianisms I picked up from my mom. It is very comforting to me being far away from family. But, I will correct certain things I don't want him to repeat or I want him to see differently.

 

[LivingInPeace]

I don't do that a lot bc I can't stand it myself. If it is something obviously incorrect yes. But I tend to not nick pick everything bc it's not necessary.

It's 'nitpick'. Just kidding! Couldn't resist!

 

[tinkat]

Ok

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[SophieDulce]

Not unless it's something really bad that goes against my moral code.

 

[FoxxyLocs]

I do correct DH's grammar if needed. I don't want him at work or in meetings and having people look at him crazy because he's mispronouncing a word or using it incorrectly. He appreciates it because he knows I do it out of concern and not because I think I'm better than him. I do it much less now, but when we were young and he was just getting started in his career, I would correct certain things. To me it's helping my husband put his best foot forward. Just like I would tell him if his clothes were wrinkled or his breath was funky. Better to hear it from me than someone else. He corrects me also.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Hm, this reminds me when my guy friend said aneurysms instead of mannerisms one day. Me and bestie tried to hold it in but busted out laughing. We were at war for a week