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Discussion: Who Messed You Up?

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Mrs.Fitness said:
Oh okay...

I wasnt being mean. I am fairly new. Her hair looks way better than mine. I am still learning. She is already at my second goal.
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I wasn't referring to you when I was talking about the thread "going back to nice", sorry. There was just a lot going on up thread that was just :perplexed.

I didn't want another interesting thread to get closed because some people took it too seriously.
 
several....
1- my mom let me cut my past SL hair to a above the neck bob in 3rd grade - what the hell was she thinking!!!!
2- she let me curl and comb my own hair from that point forward...it did get past NL until High school.
3- DIY highlights in 10th grade- nuff said..again what was my mom thinking.
4- quick weaves abd bad weaves done by a kitchen stylist in 2007...nuff said I lost so much hair it was crazy.

I've finally learned my lesson.
 
Gosh, my setback was this past year. I was unemployed and I didn't take care of my hair the 6 months I was unemployed and needless to say my hair just broke off left and right. I was between NL and SL. So when I finally decided to take care of my hair the ends was so badly damaged I just had it cut into a bob. Then I was like the heck with it and did the BC (as you can see below).
 
Mrs.Fitness said:
If you never had a set back, wouldnt you be waist length by now or at least bsl? I am not trying to be funny. Just trying to understand what is holding you back.
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My hair grows pretty well. I've had BSL-MBL hair but I loved cutting it. I still do. The only reason I don't have short hair now is because my mom and my sisters and brothers(7 older sisters, and 2 older brothers) always bug me when I cut it. I've always had the longest hair in my family and they can't stand to see me cut it. I could have been waistlength long ago. My hair grows fast, it doesn't break and it's strong.

After keeping it longer for awhile- I started enjoying long hair. So now I'm growing it out, and I'm now about an inch from BSL.
 
i had a setback March of last year. the stylist i went to burnt my hair straight, so i had to do a bc again. after keeping it cut during the beginning of the summer, i started letting it grow back out. so i will just stay away from the heat.
 
Just wanted to add the point that even if one hasn't had a setback, it does not mean that s/he would be at waist length because the person's growth phase may only be two years long, which may get them to BSL if they retained all they grew but probably not waist length. Of course if the person in question is a little person, then s/he might get to tail bone in two years if s/he retained all growth.
 
I had two waist length ponytails when I was 8. Who knows if I was tailbone or longer then as they were in high ponytails and waistlength one on each side of my head and I had natural hair so they weren't pressed out. My brother took scissors to my head while I was sleeping. he cut off one of my ponytails and my mom had to chop off the other to even things up. Not cute.

I used to have stylists pull relaxer, before I went natural again, through my entire hair saying they were smoothing it on. Age 14 and onward, as my dad was in the army we moved around and I kept having to find stylists because my dad said I should have my hair done by a professional. Even if my hair got long like apl or bsl, it would snap and break and get thin. Thus the cycle of breakage and growth began until I went natural again and started taking charge of my own hair. I decided my hair could grow, it always did when my mom and I were doing it. Only when I was in the hands of stylists did it shatter and get thin. Now if I go to one I micromanage, or do it myself and I stay natural so no one can ever hold my hair randsom again. I'm now back to midback, striving for wl again.
 
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Oooh another set back happened a year and a few months ago when I listened to a lady in sally's about a protein pack. even though I put moisture dc on after, I knew my hair was protein sensitive and this was hardcore protein. Needless to say my hair broke and I've been evening it up since. I should've known better as I have thyroid disease and my hair was already inherently dry, and not loving protein. It's been thriving since I've been dcing away and here I go thinking because she works there she knows hair better than me. I was midback back then and had to cut it a lot and regrow it back to the midback point I'm currently at. By now I could be wl or beyond arrrgh!
 
STYLIST = SETBACKS (IMO)

They always cut too much and rake through your hair...especially if some good gossip is going around and they aren't halfway paying attention. I'm a firm believer that no one will be more gentle to my hair than me!!!

I do think there are good hair dressers out there but unfortunately I haven't found one. If you live in the Phx area and have some recommendations. Holla!

I wish more beauticians were members of LHCF
 
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I'm enjoying all these stories. It's one thing when you mess yourself up with rookie, pre-LHCF mistakes. It's altogether another thing when someone you trust does it to you. That's what happened to me, and I didn't find out for month after.
 
Of course, before I first joined LHCF, I was brutal to my hair! But even now, I cant even lie, I probably encounter a setback every 2 or 3 months. Sometimes it's not as bad as it seems but other times, I just think how much longer my hair would be if I hadn't had so many setbacks. My biggest setback which happened a lot before I finally started speaking up 3 months ago was stylists INSISTING that I needed my ends trimmed, I always felt as though they cut my hair more than needed.

Now that I have made a vow to myself to not let ANYONE cut my hair until I'm ready, I think I will retain much more length this year.
 
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my setback happened last spring when I got all cocky thinking I had this hair growing thing on lock. I just forgot all about protein, coconut oil. My hair ended up looking like crap. My problem area, my crown, never retained length because I wasn't moisturizing like I should.

I learned that I can't give minimal attention to my hair and expect it to look good, never mind reach my goal of full MBL.
 
I messed myself up, before I started my hair journey. Here's my LONG story:

I had been a self-relaxer for many years. Well, in December 2005 (before I found hairboards), I decided that the back of my hair was "resistant," and I needed to let the relaxer marinade on that section a little longer.....like 15 minutes longer, for a total of 30 minutes! To make matters worse, I had even pulled the relaxer down the length of my hair, with no protective barrier (i.e. conditioner, oil, etc.) on my previously-relaxed ends. When I finally rinsed the relaxer out, the nape was basically gone, and I had breakage throughout the back section...pieces as long as 3-4" long had just broken off. To make matters even worse still, I flatironed my hair on a too-hot setting...I remember smelling burning hair but that didn't stop me.:nono: Before this incident, the length of my hair was between shoulder and armpit, but after the damage, the ends of that section barely reached the bottom of my neck!

As a result, I began to regularly moisturize my hair, stopped using all direct heat, and began shortening my relaxing time (texlaxing). Six months later (June 2006), I found hairboards and no more setbacks since.
 
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I don't think anyone "messed me up" per say. I am very happy with my own self styling, after having had only my mother's hands in my hair for YEARS!! She never did anything that gave me a real set back, besides a perm that broke off butt length hair to sl when I was like 6, in addition to, because she did not regularly trim my hair, I often would have to get a large amount of "dead ends" trimmed off, so she'd have to cutt off like 3 inches of my hair maybe, every two years or so she would never! never! trim me.

Since I've intervened, and started having her trim me, (just a dusting) ever 6 months, I rarely see a split, and when I do, it's small!
 
Mane Event said:
STYLIST = SETBACKS (IMO)

They always cut too much and rake through your hair...especially if some good gossip is going around and they aren't halfway paying attention. I'm a firm believer that no one will be more gentle to my hair than me!!!

I do think there are good hair dressers out there but unfortunately I haven't found one. If you live in the Phx area and have some recommendations. Holla!

I wish more beauticians were members of LHCF
Click to expand...

Sadly, the stylists that jacked up my hair were all recommended by friends:ohwell:
 
Oh gosh LuckiestDestiny! if I was your mom I don't know what I would do to your brother, but he would get it indeed!
 
The last setback was in '06. My hairdresser of 13 years moved. I was going to her assistant, thinking she would have learned something from being with her for the last 6 years. NOPE. She didn't leave the mild relaxer on long enough, so it left me texlaxed. Which wasn't good with that particular relaxer for my hair (Affirm). My hair started breaking. Then, she went back to my old-school relaxer, Revlon Mild. But my hair started getting thinner. So I started going to other stylists that were great with other people, but my hair wasn't having it. When my mom died in '07, my hair was a few inches away from bra-strap, but was stringy and lifeless from stylists and stress. I started wearing it in braids for the rest of the year, then chopped everything off in May '08 and became natural.
 
I was a standing weekly client at a Salon that I went to for 4 years. I had gone to this particular person before but she kept moving around alot. I followed her, many times, but grew tired of all the moving from shop 2 shop. We reconnected about 4 years ago and during that time, I know she moved at least 4-5 times. The last straw was Thanksgiving Wednesday 2008, when she put a relaxer in my hair walked away and proceeded to work on several other clients.

Within a month, all of my hair fell out. Prior to this happening, she began to disrespect my time, my hair and my $ and I guess she thought she was the only stylist in town. After my hair came out, (which she took absolutely no responsibility for) or made no apology, I decided to give my hair a rest. I mean, it was an inch or two in places and I looked like a Chemo patient. I have been so down about it, and I think what hurt me the most, is that I kinda/sorta thought she was a friend. I began to talk to other women that cared for their hair themselves and a friend of mine, who had just gone through a similiar Salon-mishap, began to share information about hair-care with me. I feel foolish for totally leaving the health, care, and upkeep of my tresses to someone else. The LHCF has really made me feel empowered to regain my diginity and never let a Stylist think they have it "like 'dat" So, I invested in the best hair products and a good dryer, heat cap, and a Steamer and have begun my HHJ. Once I've mastered how to do the Relaxer properly, I will feel totally free. After a 13 week stretch (the longest since College) I tried the AE Linange Lye Relaxer but was nervous and it didn't get as straight as I would have liked. Long Story short, My Stylist.
 
IDareT'sHair said:
I was a standing weekly client at a Salon that I went to for 4 years. I had gone to this particular person before but she kept moving around alot. I followed her, many times, but grew tired of all the moving from shop 2 shop. We reconnected about 4 years ago and during that time, I know she moved at least 4-5 times. The last straw was Thanksgiving Wednesday 2008, when she put a relaxer in my hair walked away and proceeded to work on several other clients.

Within a month, all of my hair fell out. Prior to this happening, she began to disrespect my time, my hair and my $ and I guess she thought she was the only stylist in town. After my hair came out, (which she took absolutely no responsibility for) or made no apology, I decided to give my hair a rest. I mean, it was an inch or two in places and I looked like a Chemo patient. I have been so down about it, and I think what hurt me the most, is that I kinda/sorta thought she was a friend. I began to talk to other women that cared for their hair themselves and a friend of mine, who had just gone through a similiar Salon-mishap, began to share information about hair-care with me. I feel foolish for totally leaving the health, care, and upkeep of my tresses to someone else. The LHCF has really made me feel empowered to regain my diginity and never let a Stylist think they have it "like 'dat" So, I invested in the best hair products and a good dryer, heat cap, and a Steamer and have begun my HHJ. Once I've mastered how to do the Relaxer properly, I will feel totally free. After a 13 week stretch (the longest since College) I tried the AE Linange Lye Relaxer but was nervous and it didn't get as straight as I would have liked. Long Story short, My Stylist.
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OH! I'm so sorry that happened to you. I too have witnessed the sense of entitlement that SOME hairdressers have over their clients. They have been give WAY TOO MUCH POWER, and way too much of our money. It is so empowering when you figure out how to care for your hair yourself. To me, taking care of my hair is like taking care of my kids: NO ONE will ever care for them better than I will, no matter how much I pay them.
 
Okay, my first set back was when I was 23 and waaay before LCHf. Anyway, I had a weave installed. When I removed it, i washed my hair with "head and shoulders" dandruff shampoo before detangling my hair. Nevertheless, my hair was tangled to no avail. I had to cut the patch from the middle of my hair. Months later, I was a bridesmaid. I wore a bun to cover the patch.
 
Second setback just happened recently. Post LHCf, this past November 2008, at the suggestion of friend, I went to a natural hair salon. This salon "assists" people who are transitioning. Now, I did see sistas with BSL hair. So anyway, at the salon, they put a "softener" in my hair. Every client had it in their hair. One month later, everytime I touched my hair there were many breaks, hair was all over the place. I couldn't take seeing all my hair come out so I got braids. I aphogeed, OReplenishing pak, jojoba oil... everything to halt the breakage. No avail. My hair has holes in many strands. I just cut it last Sunday but my hair still has holes. Trying to cut it gradually as it grows back out. I was almost to APL, right now it's cut into layers at shoulder length.
 
angeldazed said:
Second setback just happened recently. Post LHCf, this past November 2008, at the suggestion of friend, I went to a natural hair salon. This salon "assists" people who are transitioning. Now, I did see sistas with BSL hair. So anyway, at the salon, they put a "softener" in my hair. Every client had it in their hair. One month later, everytime I touched my hair there were many breaks, hair was all over the place. I couldn't take seeing all my hair come out so I got braids. I aphogeed, OReplenishing pak, jojoba oil... everything to halt the breakage. No avail. My hair has holes in many strands. I just cut it last Sunday but my hair still has holes. Trying to cut it gradually as it grows back out. I was almost to APL, right now it's cut into layers at shoulder length.
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Wha???? Did you ever find out what that "softener" was???? WOW!!
 
Thanks Christelyn: You are so right. About no one caring for your hair better than you. I am slowly recovering and realizing how I don't need the drama-fication that comes along with weekly visits to the shop. i.e. the bootleg dvd guy, the fake coach bag guy, the fish & chicken dinner lady and then the funky attitude? She had me all messed up? :(And to be honest, I am actually enjoying it. Although my PJ-sim is setting in big-time. But I have no regrets, and don't feel bad buying some of the best products. IMO, it is still alot cheaper than that weekly expense, not to mention the time wasted at the shop, only to get out of the chair, come home, and try to completely re-style my hair. I also heard her giving her "once in a blue moon" irregular get they hair done church members a different (lower) price. That really burned me. And I was weekly, rain or shine :( So when I say I'm done, I'm done.
 
hahaha. who messed me up?

myself!

when i was maybe 11 or 12, i cut off the hair at the nape of my neck because i hated how the back pieces would stick out of my ponytail. not smart logic. my mom was pissed. obviously that hair grew back... and is typically longer than the rest of my hair. :)

oh, and in college, i tried dying my own hair with those clairol store bought dyes.

Yeah. not too smart.

I didn't do -that- much damage to my own hair. nothing disasterous. but i didn't take proper care and i relied on stylists a lot. i thought they were going to fix my hair problems.

now i'm learning and i'm growing nice healthy hair. :D
 
Setback #1: Mother took me to a salon when I was 7. The stylist (Tracy...still remember that lady's name lol) overprocessed my relaxer while she went for a "smoke". Melted off the sides of my scalp. Kids called "Patches" for years :nono:

Setback #2: Mommy decides to give me my first BC involuntarily. After school one day she called my into the den. She was sitting on the couch w/ a pair of scissors and a Winn Dixie plastic bag on the floor...I cried for days.

Setback #3: Decided to go to a salon that was recommended to me by friends. All of their hair came out beautiful...so they had to be good right? My impatient self came on a day when the main stylist was out of I went to the other woman. She relaxed my hair w/ Fabulaxer...washed only 2x, didn't deep condition, blowed dried my soaking wet hair w/ the comb attachment, CHOPPED OFF 4 INCHES, then pressed my hair w/ pressing wax and a marcel iron :nono: That was my very last trip to the salon...

....then I found LHCF :grin:
 
I've had several set backs however when reading this thread it immediately made me think of my best friend. One day she was in the salon getting her hair cut in layers. So I stopped past. The stylist took a pair of scissors and began to razor her hair by taking the scissors and cutting downward. Mt eyes got SO big. It was a HOT MESS!!! her hair was not in layers, the curl looked bad and it was not even.

It seems like her hair hasn't been the same since.
 
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