Discussion: Who Messed You Up?

[Christelyn]

We've all had setbacks, many of them self-inflicted. But how many of us have had setback wrought upon us?

Here's my story:

I had long and healthy APL hair, which took YEARS to grow. A lady in my salon, who was not my regular hairdresser, did braids. I wanted some for the summer. But unbeknownst to me, she clipped the "frizzy" hair, which turned out to be INCHES of my own hair! I didn't know until I took them out, but when I did, I was completely crushed. I still haven't gotten that length back. I personally think she was jealous of my hair--she always wore weave and I bet she wanted to put my uppity self in my place.

What's your story?

 

[Denise11]

I keep hearing people say "we all have had setbacks". Not all of us. I don't remember having a setback. I haven't had anything bad happen to my hair since I was a teen, and then I did it to myself, experimenting. I'm 44 years old now. I'm sorry that so many people are having setbacks, but not everyone does.

I just had to say that, because those words were starting to get to me.

Thankfully, I haven't had anything but dry hair happen to me in many many years.

 

[shetara20]

I hate to admit this but.....

When I was around 8 or 9. I had micros and my hair was growing like crazy and my scalp was itching so bad that I wanted the braids out. My mom was at work and I was hanging with my dad. We couldnt find any scissors so he took out the top of my hair with a knife!!! This caused a lot of breakage and I feel like that part of my head will never be the same. So I blame my dad(and partly me!)

 

[locabouthair]

^that sucks.

Until I was 13 yrs old my hair never made it past my ears. yes ears I never had a ponytail.

I wore braids for like two years and it grew to SL, something I NEVER thought could happen. No, SL isnt long but coming from EL, I thought I came a long way.

Each time I take out my braids I would relax the day afterwards, BIG no no. I got breakage for two years straight. My stylists wasnt telling me that you should relax the day after braids. I didnt find out till later. She gave me an aphogee every two weeks. So I had protein overload. Anyway my hair broke off so badly. it got so thin, I had to chop it back to EL Then she didnt neutralize the relaxer properly and I got bald spots on my sides.

Wore braids again, transitioned, it grew back to NL and has been stuck there ever since When I was natural the stylist burn off parts of my hair while pressing it http://public.fotki.com/locabouthair/june2007seriousdamage/dsc00025.html I'm still trying to grow it back.:wallbash

So I later relax go searching for the perfect stylist I went to one and let her relax my hair and it fell out and looked like this http://public.fotki.com/locabouthair/1/my-problem-areas/picture070.html This grew back thank god.

Went to another stylist who didnt neutralize properly and I got a bald spot on my left side again. For some reason stylist miss that part behind the ears. Currently growing out that spot right now.

So now I'm self relaxing. It may not come out bone straight but at least I'm not bald.

Sorry for the essay. I been through a lot with my hair

 

[dlove]

When I was relaxed, I allowed a beautician to switch chemicals from no lye to lye and put the chemical from root to tip. May hair broke off eventually strand by strand, inch by inch. I had to BC to 1 inch.


Since being natural, I believe I was not able to retain as much length because I put a Bigen dye in my hair that was very drying, thus causing breakage.

Most recently, I went to get two strand twist with just my natural hair and the stylist said my ends were heat damaged because they were straight. She cut at least 1/4 to 1/2 inch off each "twist" that had straight ends. Cant wait to see the results when I take them out....

 

[Tybi]

I moved from Kansas to Florida. After arriving in Florida I began to look for a new beautician. It took me about 4 months to find one, and I had my last relaxer in Kansas about 1 month before I moved. So I had 5 months of new growth.

I found a stylist who I really liked. The first time she relaxed me she did not realize I had as much new growth as I did since I came in with my hair flat ironed. Needless to say she left a good chunk of hair under processed. I had straight roots, straight ends, and a 2inch chunk in the middle that was poofy/frizzy. The next time I went she re-relaxed the middle part. 2 weeks later my hair began to shed, and shed, and shed. I went from being between SL and APL to EAR LENGTH in a matter of months, with absolutely no hair cuts or trims. Imagine that. erplexed

The good part is that I finally went natural with out having to BC! So my "setback" turned into a blessing!

 

[dm81]

I keep hearing people say "we all have had setbacks". Not all of us. I don't remember having a setback. I haven't had anything bad happen to my hair since I was a teen, and then I did it to myself, experimenting. I'm 44 years old now. I'm sorry that so many people are having setbacks, but not everyone does.

I just had to say that, because those words were starting to get to me.

Thankfully, I haven't had anything but dry hair happen to me in many many years.

So tell us about that setback...?

 

[dm81]

My hairstylist that I had been going to for over a decade gave me platinum blond highlights. I looked like a Lil Kim/Sisqo/Marilyn Monrow hybrid, it was awful. I KNEW it was that bad when her seven year old daughter came out and just stared at me like....

My hair was destroyed...

 

[jetbeauty09]

My latest setback was after my last pregnancy. While I was pregnant in 07, I didn't get perms (maybe one) and my hair grew and grew. I had a sew in for 3 months. After taking it out, I thought my hair was damaged but I just needed a virgin relaxer to see the growth. I got about an inch or 2 chopped off and I was SL. I was in love with my new length and kept putting direct heat on my hair EVERYDAY!!! I relaxed every 4-6 weeks and ran it to the ends. bad bad bad

It broke off something terrible. That started my natural journey!!lol

 

[SlantedEyezMiss2003]

well I can't say I had a setback in the past because I didn't know much about hair care except for what my mom said, and my aunt who does hair didn't really tell me much, so I really didn't start caring for my hair until going on two years ago.....but in the past, I did most of the damage, hair dye, relaxers(overprocess like crazy), no chelating shampoo, no clarifying, no dcing, lots of heat, blow drying and curling once a week, but then curling every day, brushing, combing all the time, my damage was from me, right now I know what to do, but I'm still a heat fiend and stoppin that tomorrow when I start my lhcf bootcamp session.....but what just set me back was a major cut in aug 08, and it's growing out....so i'm happy with my overall progress, but I hope to reach full apl by the end of the year......sorry so long....

 

[doll-baby]

I was in micros for about 2 years and I had really good growth my hair was probably shoulder length ( which was long to me coming out of a short Halle berry style ).
I saw the progress I made and wanted to go to a good stylist so I did some research to find salons in my area that I thought would respect what I wanted to do with my hair.
I told the stylist that I did not want to cut my hair, that she could trim the ends an inch at the most. when she finished with me my hair was ear length !
She justified cutting my hair by saying that when she pulled my hair while wet it snapped off .... Well wet hair is hair in its weakest state of course if you yank wet hair it is going to break !
I should have spoke up when I noticed she was cutting more than an inch but I didn't. Now I know better and I do not plan on going to a stylist any time soon because if somebody tries to cut my hair with all the progress I've made It's gonna be trouble

 

[Denise11]

So tell us about that setback...?

That wasn't a setback. I didn't care about healthy hair then. I was doing all kinds of crazy things to my hair when I was a teen.

It can only be considered a setback if you're trying to improve your hair, then something bad happens to mess up your progress. That DIDN'T happen to me.

Many years later, after I decided to have healthy hair, nothing bad has happened to my hair.

Does that answer you question dear?

 

[dm81]

That wasn't a setback. I didn't care about healthy hair then. I was doing all kinds of crazy things to my hair when I was a teen.

It can only be considered a setback if you're trying to improve your hair, then something bad happens to mess up your progress. That DIDN'T happen to me.

Many years later, after I decided to have healthy hair, nothing bad has happened to my hair.

Does that answer you question dear?

Oooh you hit me with the dear. Anyways, thanks for sharing that setback story honey ;-).

 

[Denise11]

Oooh you hit me with the dear. Anyways, thanks for sharing that setback story honey ;-).

Oh. I guess you're just not understanding what you're reading. And you're welcome anyway. NOT.

 

[Kay.Dee]

why does the word setback bother you, not being catty but just want to know?

Micros with nail glue on the ends

 

[that_1_grrrl]

Honestly, I think my hair would have been fine if I wasn't forced to get a trim with every single relaxer. My grandmother took good care of my hair for the most part. I had really nice shiny, thick hair. Every time I went in to get a relaxer, my hair was longer. Each time, they would cut my hair back to the length it was 6 weeks earlier. Even then, I was angry about it, but being a child/teenager, I felt the stylist knew best.

 

[hillytmj]

I keep hearing people say "we all have had setbacks". Not all of us. I don't remember having a setback. I haven't had anything bad happen to my hair since I was a teen, and then I did it to myself, experimenting. I'm 44 years old now. I'm sorry that so many people are having setbacks, but not everyone does.

I just had to say that, because those words were starting to get to me.

Thankfully, I haven't had anything but dry hair happen to me in many many years.

You're 44!!! You look so beautiful and young!

 

[MizzCoco]

I once had really thick nearly APL hair, and I went to this new stylist for a relaxer. Well I washed my hair about 3 days before going in for my appointment, and airdried, so my hair was a bit puffy, but she thought all my hair was under-processed...so she pulled the relaxer through to the ends! I had no idea how bad that was until a week later my hair started breaking so much I ended up at a very thin SL.

 

[dm81]

Oh. I guess you're just not understanding what you're reading. And you're welcome anyway. NOT.

I understood your setback story just fine. Once again, thanks for sharing sweety. Your hair looks nice in your avy.

 

[Denise11]

You're 44!!! You look so beautiful and young!

Thank you. It's the genes.LOL

I made 44 on march 11.

 

[Denise11]

why does the word setback bother you, not being catty but just want to know?

Micros with nail glue on the ends

I don't think you're being catty.

I just don't believe that everyone has setbacks. I know people with great hair that's never had anything go wrong with it.

 

[Mrs.Fitness]

That wasn't a setback. I didn't care about healthy hair then. I was doing all kinds of crazy things to my hair when I was a teen.

It can only be considered a setback if you're trying to improve your hair, then something bad happens to mess up your progress. That DIDN'T happen to me.

Many years later, after I decided to have healthy hair, nothing bad has happened to my hair.

Does that answer you question dear?

If you never had a set back, wouldnt you be waist length by now or at least bsl? I am not trying to be funny. Just trying to understand what is holding you back.

 

[oooop2]

So...Before joining the boards, I wore a to the scalp BC for 8 yrs...Totally loved it. Never gave my hair a 2nd thought. So naturally after wearing a BC for so long, I really knew "NOTHING" about my hair in its natural state.

So when I decided to start growing my hair out, I literally approached it like I was still caring for my BC. I would shampoo daily. Apply a 5sec condish before rinsing it out. I remember RACKING through my hair w/ a small comb. Losing a TON of hair in the process. And thinking that that was a normal thing that came along w/ growing your hair out. I also hardly applied much grease/moisturizer to my hair. And then when my hair was at that stage when you really can't do much with, I would apply these scarves to the front of my hairline, tie it off tightly in the back, and PUSH it back to position that I wanted. My hair was always dry, so all of that friction literally broke my hairline off. It wasn't until I started paying attention, that I decided I really needed to learn about my hair....Hence here I am

 

[locabouthair]

Thank you. It's the genes.LOL

I made 44 on march 11.

wow. You look like you're in your twenties.

 

[that_1_grrrl]

If you never had a set back, wouldnt you be waist length by now or at least bsl? I am not trying to be funny. Just trying to understand what is holding you back.

I don't think that was her point. She just doesn't consider it a setback because she was not actively trying to grow her hair, which makes sense. The word "setback" implies a goal. She didn't have a goal, so she didn't have a "setback" that hindered her process in achieving that goal.

Okay, can this thread go back to being nice now?

 

[Denise11]

I understood your setback story just fine. Once again, thanks for sharing sweety. Your hair looks nice in your avy.

Thank you girl.

 

[locabouthair]

I don't think you're being catty.

I just don't believe that everyone has setbacks. I know people with great hair that's never had anything go wrong with it.

I get so jealous of people like that

 

[oooop2]

That wasn't a setback. I didn't care about healthy hair then. I was doing all kinds of crazy things to my hair when I was a teen.

It can only be considered a setback if you're trying to improve your hair, then something bad happens to mess up your progress. That DIDN'T happen to me.

Many years later, after I decided to have healthy hair, nothing bad has happened to my hair.

Does that answer you question dear?

If this is your explanation, then per this, thankfully, I haven't had any setbacks since I've found the hair boards.

 

[Mrs.Fitness]

I don't think that was her point. She just doesn't consider it a setback because she was not actively trying to grow her hair, which makes sense. The word "setback" implies a goal. She didn't have a goal, so she didn't have a "setback" that hindered her process in achieving that goal.

Okay, can this thread go back to being nice now?

Oh okay...

I wasnt being mean. I am fairly new. Her hair looks way better than mine. I am still learning. She is already at my second goal.

 

[Mrs.Fitness]

Thank you girl.

I wasnt trying to be mean.

You and your hair are very pretty in your avi.