Didn't get married until your 30s? Tell me about it!

Miss_C

Miss_C

Well-Known Member
I am nearing 29 and I am more single than ever. I know I'm not alone, I see it on this board all the time. I want to hear from women who did not get married until their 30s. Where/how did you meet him? Was he everything you wanted or did you settle? Was he a new find or did you have to go look back in your discarded bin?

I know some on this board believe if it doesn't happen by 30, you're done, but I just can't get invested in thoughts like that right now. I need to hear encouraging stories!
 
I think you are putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. It is important that you do not allow your eagerness to be married cloud your judgment when trying to select a life partner.

That aside..

What city do you live? Are you only willing to be with a black man? Have you tried online dating? Do you go to social events where young and successful people attend? Do you clean up nice? There are a few threads on the board that can help u..mill come back and update this post with links.

I wish you success - I got married in my 20's but my sister got married in hr mid 30's and I know how she felt...
 
Look up the_recessionista on instagram she just got married and i believe she is like 34
Also tx cutie was 30 something
I think Heather Lindsey was 28-31
My aunt is pushing 50 getting remarried to a man she already knew from when I was a baby. Same aunt was engaged two or three years ago but sadly fh passes away.
It happens all the time especially in this day many people get married later in life. I wouldn't say there's a specific way to meet someone just because you're 40

30 is no where near the breaking point lol
 
I got married when I was 33. We met a couple of months after I turned 30. A mutual friend said we should meet and gave him my phone number. The vast majority of my friends got married after 30.
 
I am 37 and getting married later this week.

We met while I was out on the town with a friend. He was someone new, not an old boyfriend or anything. I didn't settle at all. He met all of the requirements I had for a husband.

I do wish that we had met earlier though, only because now I feel rushed to have children because of my age. At the same time, I feel like we met exactly when we were supposed to meet. I probably wouldn't have been ready to receive him if I had met him any earlier. Mentally, I just wasn't there yet. I was hung up on a ex-boyfriend for a very long time.

Don't worry, it will happen for you! :yep:
 
I got married at 35 and I have never regretted waiting until that age. I met my husband randomly, so he was new (and lived out of town). He met all of my requirements, including the ones that I didn't even know I had. :)

The advice I'd give is continue to enjoy life, don't let worry about not meeting "the one" yet consume you, and get out of the house. That's what worked for me.

I have a friend who was a constantly worried about meeting someone... she has been engaged a few times and it never worked out (I think b/c she moved too fast and settled). She's now in her early 40s with no real prospects and I honestly think it's b/c she worried herself into making bad decisions instead of enjoying life and waiting for the right man to show up.
 
MizAvalon said:
I am 37 and getting married later this week.

We met while I was out on the town with a friend. He was someone new, not an old boyfriend or anything. I didn't settle at all. He met all of the requirements I had for a husband.

I do wish that we had met earlier though, only because now I feel rushed to have children because of my age. At the same time, I feel like we met exactly when we were supposed to meet. I probably wouldn't have been ready to receive him if I had met him any earlier. Mentally, I just wasn't there yet. I was hung up on a ex-boyfriend for a very long time.

Don't worry, it will happen for you! :yep:
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CONGRATS MizAvalon! Enjoy your wedding day! Spend a few minutes alone with your husband sometime during the day... just look at each other and reflect upon the blessing that you've both received. I still remember that moment at our wedding and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world! :yep:
 
Thanks ladies. I know 30 isn't "old" but it's definitely the point where you start thinking "what's wrong with me"? I actually deactivated my facebook because the constant stream of wedding/baby photos is getting to be too much.
 
natural in ATL said:
CONGRATS @MizAvalon! Enjoy your wedding day! Spend a few minutes alone with your husband sometime during the day... just look at each other and reflect upon the blessing that you've both received. I still remember that moment at our wedding and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world! :yep:
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Thank you so much natural in ATL! I'm going to do my best to try to slow down a little on that day and take it all in. I'm so excited that my day has finally come!:grin:
 
I met my husband when I was 30/31. Someone had tried to set me up with a friend of theirs and I got there late (i didn't know I was getting set up). I had just broken up with my church (yup, church) and couldn't wait to spread my wings and meet folks (nice speak for sew wild oats, since I never got a chance to do any of that). I had just moved out of my parent's house so I was feeling free and independent and had NO intention of meeting anyone serious. Wound up with my future DH on the dance floor. And that was the end of my "sewing wild oats":ohwell::lol:

We didn't get married until I had turned 35. Turned 39 last week and had my first child this past February.

I guess what I'm trying to say is when you open yourself up to new things, that's when stuff starts to happen. Don't give up, but don't make it your obsession.

Good luck and many blessings.
 
I hear ya OP

I'm 32 single no kids

There's nothing wrong with you. I hate the way society makes single women over 30 feel like there is something wrong with you if your not married with kids by then.

I never thought I would be single at this age either but it is what it is. I refuse to settle and honestly I'm glad it didn't work out with any of my exes because Lord knows that would have been awful.

I still believe in marriage and know I have a lot to offer. It will happen

Trying to think positively.

Saving my spot on this thread cause I will be back to share my story :grin:
 
MizAvalon said:
I am 37 and getting married later this week.

We met while I was out on the town with a friend. He was someone new, not an old boyfriend or anything. I didn't settle at all. He met all of the requirements I had for a husband.

I do wish that we had met earlier though, only because now I feel rushed to have children because of my age. At the same time, I feel like we met exactly when we were supposed to meet. I probably wouldn't have been ready to receive him if I had met him any earlier. Mentally, I just wasn't there yet. I was hung up on a ex-boyfriend for a very long time.

Don't worry, it will happen for you! :yep:
Click to expand...

Congratulations MizAvalon!
 
My co-worker is 37 & was ready to give up when she connected with an old classmate at her high school reunion. They are already talking marriage and she couldn't be happier. Hang in there
 
I'm in my early 30s and thankfully have passed that freak out stage. In my heart, I believe I am going to get married. I have no idea when, but I believe it will happen. I really think it's a timing thing and there is no formula. However, I am doing my part and trying to give God something to work with. I believe this is HUGE. We need to be actively participating (which for me doesn't mean leading or initiating). I have been going out 1-2x/week regularly for about a month. I have things specifically geared to meeting new people on my calendar through January 2015. Basically, I am trying to position myself. Have no clue who the guy will be or when it will happen, but it will happen when it's supposed to happen.
 
Good plan, Belle. But I am starting to grow wearry of the scene. These men are getting lamer. And I'm starting to be older than a lot of people in the club or wherever I am. How do you handle that?
 
Miss_C said:
I am nearing 29 and I am more single than ever. I know I'm not alone, I see it on this board all the time. I want to hear from women who did not get married until their 30s. Where/how did you meet him? Was he everything you wanted or did you settle? Was he a new find or did you have to go look back in your discarded bin?

I know some on this board believe if it doesn't happen by 30, you're done, but I just can't get invested in thoughts like that right now. I need to hear encouraging stories!
Click to expand...
Miss_C

Awwww....thanks for starting this thread OP. :yep: Even though I've given up "looking", I do know what you mean about the mentality of some people these days. It can be quite discouraging since our society tends to view never-been-married women in their 30's and over as some kind of "defective lifestock". :nono:

Life doesn't stop just because you're in your 30's. :nono: I'm so glad to hear some of the encouraging stories of ladies here on this board who have found love and gotten married for the first time in their 30's. :grin: They are ENCOURAGING! Bring more stories!!

I know an older family friend who didn't get married for the first time in her life until she was 45!! So, it IS possible ladies.



MizAvalon said:
Thank you so much @natural in ATL! I'm going to do my best to try to slow down a little on that day and take it all in. I'm so excited that my day has finally come!:grin:
Click to expand...
Awwwww!! Congrats MizAvalon !!!!!! I almost feel like shedding a tear :cry4: because we've talked back and forth on the board for years so I feel like I almost know you lol... :lol: CONGRATS on your upcoming wedding girl!!! You've gotta share your secret lol! :giggle:
 
I'll be turning 30 soon, I'm not really the freak-out type. I'm also not ready to get married. Maybe in a few years, just not now. TBH, the only real reason I can see as adequate reason for getting married is that I'm ready to have kids.

But a lot of my friends are married or seem similar to the OP. they really desire being a wife, I hope they get it. every woman deserves to be happy and get what she wants out of her life.....
 
Op my friend met her hubby at 27 and now she is 30 and he is 37. They are marrying next spring. He's a great guy!!!!!! He wants to stArt having kids before he turns 40. She's planning on becoming a sahm and slowly cutting work. @25 she decided she wanted to find a husband dated around for a few years to meet the right guy then met dh and knew he was the one.
 
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Great thread. I am not single, but I'm not married. The pressure to be married in your 30s is real and I hate to admit that I got caught up in that from listening to the my family, coworkers, subtle media messages that said I'm not worth anything if I'm not a wife and mother. I do want to be those things but I personally never seriously thought about it until 27. Which is about when I met my current SO. We've been dating for a few years now and I just get so excited at the thought that he really is my guy.

Anyway, I've learned that I will never be this young, beautiful and free of responsibility as I am now. I love this man and I'm so incredibly free to choose to be with him. I have no little ones hanging onto my skirt. I'm in a great spot in my career. I can choose to wake up next to him or wake up and do my bible study and fix one egg and one cup of coffee. I can still runaway to Europe for a year. I love my 30s more than my 20s for so many reasons and I do truly feel blessed that I can experience this time in my life as a mature adult with cash.

I'm not too worried about having children. I probably should be but they will come when the time is right. And I'm not worried about being the old mom at the playground. When it's your time and it's not forced. It's just right. I'm so excited about my time coming up whenever it happens.
 
Please don't be alarmed, dear ______________, as you walk down the path of life, should you ever find you suddenly don' have the foggiest idea of how your grandest dreams will one day come to pass. This is a good thing. A really good thing.

Just keep walking,

The Universe.

I got this in my email this morning and I think it's perfect for this thread. Just keep enjoying life and what you want will happen.
 
My darling fiancé and I met in our very early 30s, July 2011 at a Black Big Ten Alumni BBQ. I am not a love a first sight kinda girl, but we fell hard for each other. It was odd for me to feel absolutely into someone after such a short amount of time. We grew up in different cities, but our parents had tried to give us the same type of lifestyle as kids and strangely we were both black Presbyterians and Big Ten alumni. Talking to him was like talking to my brother. I was so smitten! We both were!

I moved across the country three weeks after we met to go for my MS and work on Wall Street (my dream). We kept in touch and hung out when I came home to visit. By 2011's end, he had gotten a HUGE promotion at work and became the youngest person in his new role with ~150 direct reports. We spoke on occasion, but were both BUSY.

We spoke and saw each other sparingly through 2012. We didn't talk often, but we apparently still thought of each other often. We both had people in our respective cities, but none compared to our 3 week summer 2011 romance. By Thanksgiving 2012 he decided he wanted to try a LDR. I was coming home for Christmas, so he spent Christmas with my family and we decided 2013 would be us working for a LDR.

In 2013, we were focused on making us work. I was home a lot, he came to me in NYC and he took me to meet his parents in VA. In a twist of fate, I ended up getting laid off and I moved home mid April 2013 (a blessing in disguise maybe). By late 2013 we had moved in.

We were engaged and pregnant by Jan2014. Baby is coming in late Oct. Wedding will be summer 2015.

Four years sounds like a long time, but it's flown by--2013 is the bulk of where our 'magic' happened. Men know what they want in their 30s and are becoming more established in their careers. If they want to continue to move up in their careers, they *need* to get married/have a family. Men dont too much respect other men without a family.

Hang in there; keep your body tight and keep having fun! When I look at his single male friends (who are all 30-somethings), the women they take seriously are all fun, easy going, love football and slim to muscle thick (even if the dude is fat). I will say loving football kept me with dates in NYC. GOODLUCK MAMA!!
 
I got married at 32. I met DH at an airport when I was 25. We became a couple when I was 26 and we were together for 3 yrs... we broke up for about 2 yrs and we both dated other people. I actually got engaged during that time to another but broke that of. Got back with Dh when I was 31 (almost 32) and we got married some months later. We've been married just about 1.5yrs now.
 
MizAvalon said:
I am 37 and getting married later this week.

We met while I was out on the town with a friend. He was someone new, not an old boyfriend or anything. I didn't settle at all. He met all of the requirements I had for a husband.

I do wish that we had met earlier though, only because now I feel rushed to have children because of my age. At the same time, I feel like we met exactly when we were supposed to meet. I probably wouldn't have been ready to receive him if I had met him any earlier. Mentally, I just wasn't there yet. I was hung up on a ex-boyfriend for a very long time.

Don't worry, it will happen for you! :yep:
Click to expand...
MizAvalon
Congratulations!!! I'm so excited for you!
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
@Miss_C

Awwww....thanks for starting this thread OP. :yep: Even though I've given up "looking", I do know what you mean about the mentality of some people these days. It can be quite discouraging since our society tends to view never-been-married women in their 30's and over as some kind of "defective lifestock". :nono:

Life doesn't stop just because you're in your 30's. :nono: I'm so glad to hear some of the encouraging stories of ladies here on this board who have found love and gotten married for the first time in their 30's. :grin: They are ENCOURAGING! Bring more stories!!

I know an older family friend who didn't get married for the first time in her life until she was 45!! So, it IS possible ladies.




Awwwww!! Congrats @MizAvalon !!!!!! I almost feel like shedding a tear :cry4: because we've talked back and forth on the board for years so I feel like I almost know you lol... :lol: CONGRATS on your upcoming wedding girl!!! You've gotta share your secret lol! :giggle:
Click to expand...


Thank you so much Crystalicequeen123 :grin:
 
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