Did you shack up? Why or Why not?

[spelmanlocks]

I did it, but I do not recommend it. Most people that I know of who shacked beforehand ended up breaking up usually because the guy wouldn't propose.

 

[gabulldawg]

Well damn! I didn't put two and two together. Op I thought you were supposed to be dumping that guy so a more deserving woman could snatch him up. Now you're talking about moving in with him??? erplexed Where's the c'mon son gif when you need it?? You're really trying to make sure you ruin him, huh?

 

[PeaceFlow]

I would say LHCF never forgets anything...but the other thread was only posted under 2 weeks ago

I fear this guys self esteem must be pretty low to want more commitment under those circumstances.

 

[LilMissRed]

I shacked with my ex husband for about 3 yrs.. and I shacked with my current dh for about the same time span (maybe a little less).... PERSONALLY... I wouldnt do it again but thats just me. I agree with the other ladies.. if u feel its too soon.. dont do it.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

DH and I didn't shack up. Neither of us was okay with the idea and it was never a consideration. We moved in after the honeymoon.

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

I did it for about 4 months before we got legally married. We were spiritually married when we shacked up though by a Muslim man in the street in Manhattan lol.

 

[MizAvalon]

Nope. Definitely would not do it without an official engagement. Official as in a ring on my hand and a wedding date set.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Well damn! I didn't put two and two together. Op I thought you were supposed to be dumping that guy so a more deserving woman could snatch him up. Now you're talking about moving in with him??? erplexed Where's the c'mon son gif when you need it?? You're really trying to make sure you ruin him, huh?

I'm not dumb lol. I wouldn't stay if I knew I were going to hurt him, but I also wouldn't leave if I know I have a connection with someone and they are everything I ever wanted in a mind except some minute details.

lol Nahh. I did some soul searching and some deep praying to try to get to the root of the problem. I've learned that past experiences can make you so bitter, hurtful, and confused that when a good guy comes around you don't realize it and refuse to allow him to love you because of your own downfalls. We both really really talked about it and I told him I was willing to work on our relationship and "clean out my closet" so to speak to allow us to work, because despite my criticism we honestly do make a good pair. We complement each other well, enjoy each other's company, and are very caring and affectionate towards each other.

It's only been two weeks, so I can't say definitely, but we have gotten a lot better. I have started becoming better with words and expressing them. I have also stopped criticizing and being mean to him. We've backed up on the physical side and just really got into courting courting courting and getting to know one another...and then I realized I really do like him. It just takes work on my part but it's def for the better and it's totally worth it to be int he presence of a loving, driven, ambitious, financially sound, man that I can show love back to.

BUT we have been trying to decide what we are going to do. In January we will be one month shy from a month together. He suggested we get an apartment together. I've never lived with a man and I was not reared this way so I'm leaning towards no....but I'm looking at the financial part of it. Even though I'm doing quite fine right now with my own apartment....I would cut costs a lot by living with him...

I think i will just stick with us living in separate apartments but maybe giving each other a key to our apartments when the times gets closer and our relationship develops further.

 

[CHI10]

no..we did not shack up...he would've been fine with it..but, that wasn't my thing...we officially started living together a few months after we married ..there are little things that get on my nerves..but i love being around him everyday

 

[firecracker]

Different strokes for different folks. Please don't shack only for the financial reasons. You can get a real roommate if that is the case.

If you have been with him since January he couldn't be too damn lame. I gather in that other thread you were just upset and venting at the moment or PMS'ing. LOL Don't be mean to nice mild mannered folk. Save that bs for the meanies that truly deserve it.

It great to hear you are acknowledging your past demons and communicating in a positive manner. Good luck. I hope your love grows and blossoms. At the year mark reevaluate the situation.

If your parents ain't down with shacking you gon have to come with something good! LOL

 

[StarScream35]

Judging from reading your thread about him or rather how you treat him, I say no! Also, find someone who you can appreciate and love for being themselves and let him go so some other sister can get him. Girl, do you know how many sistas would love a man like him? And appreciate him for who he is? Give him here! LOL!