Did you shack up? Why or Why not?

[PrissiSippi]

My boyfriend wants us to get an apartment together. I've never lived with someone and I feel we haven't been together long enough. I want to wait for our relationship to get deeper....but my lease is up in January so my bf wants us to find a place together by then. What has been yalls experiences?

 

[faithVA]

My experience has been that as a woman it didn't benefit me in the least. I felt like I had less freedom and I ended up taking care of too much. I agree with a sentiment I have seen often on LHCF, to keep cohabiting until after engagement and when you are sure you are going to get married, if at all.

I don't think its worth it just to save some money. You should follow your initial thought - its too soon.

 

[RocStar]

Trust your feelings. If you feel like it is too soon, then it is.

Also, if you do decide, don't let a lease ending be the reason.

 

[kismettt]

if you feel it is too soon, don't do it.

i've never lived with an SO (never got to that point), but wouldn't be opposed if it made more financial sense (aka he's paying for everything ). otherwise, i'm happy having my own place/space.

 

[AyannaDivine]

Well my sons father and I lived together after we got engaged. I ended up pregnant before we got married and was able to see a completely different side of him. Needless to say we did not marry and I'm thankful for having the opportunity to witness him as his true self prior to saying 'I Do'. My case my be a bit extreme, but I think living together prior to marriage has its benefits.

I will say this, if there is any doubt in your mind then do not do it! Girl, you will become so resentful sharing your personal space with someone when you aren't ready.

 

[InchHighPrivateEye]

I promise I"m not trying to go all LHCFBI on you but this has gotta be the same man from your other thread, right? Girl, no. N'maam. Yall will get on each others' nerves.

 

[carcajada]

Don't do it.

 

[MochaMooch]

I promise I"m not trying to go all LHCFBI on you but this has gotta be the same man from your other thread, right? Girl, no. N'maam. Yall will get on each others' nerves.

Your comment about not going all LHCFBI is ironic given your username.

 

[meesch]

is this the same weak boyfriend that you cant stand? or a new one?

 

[kandake]

Y'all don't miss a beat. I didn't connect the stories. But given that other thread I would say that moving in is a BAD idea.

 

[LivingInPeace]

is this the same weak boyfriend that you cant stand? or a new one?

Um, yeah. Just based on the other thread, this seems like a problem waiting to be created.

 

[Dposh167]

Dang yall don't forget a dayum thang

 

[MissNina]

Dang yall don't forget a dayum thang

You ain't lying.

ETA: Well, let me at least answer the OP's question NO, I haven't and I don't think I ever would unless it was temporary...like a month max. Other than that, def no for religious reasons for me. Living together lowers the chances of the couple marrying also (statistically), so I guess that's another reason for me.

 

[ThickHair]

If this is him http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=633247 then no. You haven't even known him that long and that issue is the least of your worries.

Even if it wasnt him I would say no. Nah to shacking in my book, but do what ya like.

 

[InchHighPrivateEye]

Dang yall don't forget a dayum thang

No, but it was this week though! lol

 

[InchHighPrivateEye]

Your comment about not going all LHCFBI is ironic given your username.

Cause I have to use my powers for good and not for evil

 

[AstroQueen77]

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

[Okay]

I wouldnt mind shacking up with a dude If I planned to marry him. Thats how we do in scandinavia

 

[AstroQueen77]

Okay...do most couples end up getting married..or are people just happy living together?

 

[pookaloo83]

I shacked up with DH for about 3 years. Well he wasn't my husband then. Lol

Sent From Mah Phone

 

[ms.mimi]

I did it in college and made myself a promise NEVER to do that again. I love the power of going home, not cooking or cleaning if I choose. A few guys later I met and married hubby. We stayed in our respective homes until our wedding night. ( However, I did spend a few nights a week at his apt. though)

 

[blah54]

If this is him http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=633247 then no. You haven't even known him that long and that issue is the least of your worries.

Even if it wasnt him I would say no. Nah to shacking in my book, but do what ya like.

wow you dont sound like your in love with him to be critizing that hard when its fresh into the relationship like that according to that post up there. I would suggest to find yourself and focus on your needs and not be mean to a guy and waste his time or yours when he can be with another girl that can treat him and love hi better. as for yourself you can be with someone else you are less critical of

 

[IMFOCSD]

My boyfriend wants us to get an apartment together. I've never lived with someone and I feel we haven't been together long enough. I want to wait for our relationship to get deeper....but my lease is up in January so my bf wants us to find a place together by then. What has been yalls experiences?

OP YOUR HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL......THAT IS ALL

 

[Okay]

@Okay...do most couples end up getting married..or are people just happy living together?

It depends. Some get married and some dont. I think most do marry along the way though but Im not sure. Just the recent stat of things.

 

[Fab_Nikki]

My DH and I lived together before we got married. Even brought our first home together beforehand. I knew his intentions and he made it very clear the next month when he proposed.
I don't see a problem as long as you know the direction the relationship is headed.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[gabulldawg]

I shacked up, but it worked out fine. My advice is to trust your gut. I knew dh would do right by me. I never would've shacked up with my ex, because I knew the person he was.

 

[BrandNew]

Don't do it girl..

 

[glamazon386]

Not without a ring on my hand. Sorry.

 

[LovelyRo]

I have shacked and will NEVER do it again. The next man that I live with will be my husband. The funny thing is that when I was younger, my Dad lived with a girlfriend for over 5 years... Within a year after they broke up, he was married to another woman. I should have known better. I think living together can throw off the progression of a relationship.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[ms.mimi]

When you live with someone, you have to overlook quite a few things. She is already criticizing him "like a middle school bully". (Her words not mine) Living with a bully fulltime.....that can get REAL UGLY! I really don't think that's a good idea for either one of them.