Did you forgive your cheating SO/DH?
- Thread starter Fine 4s
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Ballerina_Bun
Well-Known Member
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Atdow71
Well-Known Member
I was with a cheater ( a so, not a dh) and I stayed. In stayed for a long time through all of his lies & bs. Then one day, I woke up and ended it.
All of these years later, cheating is my breaking point. I will walk away from the relationship and I tell potential guys that up front.
I never want to be one of those women looking through his phone, pockets, driving by his house etc. no, I'm not going to have some cheater make me go crazy and start doing crazy ish.
All of these years later, cheating is my breaking point. I will walk away from the relationship and I tell potential guys that up front.
I never want to be one of those women looking through his phone, pockets, driving by his house etc. no, I'm not going to have some cheater make me go crazy and start doing crazy ish.
Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
The frustrating thing, you can tell someone your breaking point and still they risk losing a good person. I don't get it! The reasons I've heard from men are:
1. New P is just that new P and its better than old P
2. They can get away with it knowing their partner will stay
3. They missed the attention and excitement of someone new
4. They don't trust you or suspect you cheated
From women:
1. They weren't getting the attention at home (and everything that goes along with those emotions- neglect etc)
1. New P is just that new P and its better than old P
2. They can get away with it knowing their partner will stay
3. They missed the attention and excitement of someone new
4. They don't trust you or suspect you cheated
From women:
1. They weren't getting the attention at home (and everything that goes along with those emotions- neglect etc)
closertomydreams
New Member
I can easily forgive. That's what I must do in order to be forgiven for my sins. What I can't do is forget. He wouldn't want to be with me after hurting me like that. Once I'm hurt by someone they no longer matter to me. We would have to divorce for his sake.
Ballerina_Bun
Well-Known Member
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Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
Ballerina_Bun said:Those are all reasons that women cheat too. New Dis nice for women too.
I think (some) women feel less guilty about cheating too, which is why they get away with it more, so it seems.
I'm sure! However I don't hear new D driving a woman to cheat often...
People cheat for all kinds or reasons...
LivingInPeace
Well-Known Member
You don't hear it because women like to tell themselves that they''re cheating for emotional reasons when a lot of times it's because they're bored with what they have at home.
Britt
Well-Known Member
This is def not a black and white answer for me. Right now, if that happened, I'd leave and likely go date or go out with other men for a bit. Even if I did eventually get back with my SO I'd have my fun too and go out with attractive men and enjoy their company. However, by nature I'm a very unforgiving person sadly so if I got back with him knowing myself, I'd prob always hold it over his head as I have a tendency to do that.
If I were married and had a child with my DH we'd have to separate for a while bc I would be soo angry and hurt that I would need time to process. I would more than likely take my DH back after time and depending on how good the relationship was up until the cheating and the circumstances surrounding the cheating. However, if this were a relationship that was already shaky in other areas - I.e finances and other issues, then the cheating would be the straw that broke the camel's back. Under no circumstance would I take back a serial cheater tho - no way, even if I loved them dearly.
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If I were married and had a child with my DH we'd have to separate for a while bc I would be soo angry and hurt that I would need time to process. I would more than likely take my DH back after time and depending on how good the relationship was up until the cheating and the circumstances surrounding the cheating. However, if this were a relationship that was already shaky in other areas - I.e finances and other issues, then the cheating would be the straw that broke the camel's back. Under no circumstance would I take back a serial cheater tho - no way, even if I loved them dearly.
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Britt
Well-Known Member
I'm gonna keep it all the way real- if I were cheated on, I'd likely go sleep with someone else and live out a fantasy. I would not do this in retaliation tho! I'd do it b/c I feel the door is now open for me to act on a desire just as my DH or SO did. Shoot just as he went for some new puss I might want some new new too!
A few years ago I was with a serial cheater who I eventually parted ways with but even though I loved him that didn't mean that I also don't have sexual feelings. Anyway I slept with someone else while he was out of state and it was one of the most exhilarating feelings ever ! LOL ! That dude put it on me and was sensual and knew how to kiss me, all a dat. It was an isolated incident and I intentionally kept it that way. Months later my SO found out that I met someone else but he had no idea that I slept with the person. Deep down I felt damn good that I did what I did. The crazy thing is, I still have love for my ex SO and I can't help that but we'd never be able to be together for a variety of reasons. Just cause u love someone doesn't mean u hv to be with them and put up with shyt!!. U can keep it moving and move on.
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A few years ago I was with a serial cheater who I eventually parted ways with but even though I loved him that didn't mean that I also don't have sexual feelings. Anyway I slept with someone else while he was out of state and it was one of the most exhilarating feelings ever ! LOL ! That dude put it on me and was sensual and knew how to kiss me, all a dat. It was an isolated incident and I intentionally kept it that way. Months later my SO found out that I met someone else but he had no idea that I slept with the person. Deep down I felt damn good that I did what I did. The crazy thing is, I still have love for my ex SO and I can't help that but we'd never be able to be together for a variety of reasons. Just cause u love someone doesn't mean u hv to be with them and put up with shyt!!. U can keep it moving and move on.
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Britt
Well-Known Member
Fine 4s said:
Yep! These r the reasons I've heard and observed from women too. I know for myself this would be the case. If all is well in the relationship and I'm content I don't hv desires like that at all. But if I'm lacking something that when I start to notice other men more and if I really feel like I want to be elsewhere I would just end the relationship. I don't have it in me to cheat, lie, and look at my partner in their face. I would leave.
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I've cheated, and have been forgiven...
I've been cheated on, and have forgiven....
I've never had to deal with a serial cheater.... Once, we were kinda in an open relationship, the other, we were just in a really bad place.... and I've known and loved person #2 even since I was a kid.... I couldn't but forgive.... we discussed it, worked on rebuilding trust, and are married today.
The truth is, there is no right/wrong answer to the question.. all depends on the circumstance, people involved etc... If it happened to me today (married with a son on the way), I would forgive again... but I don't know if I would stay in the marriage.. God forbid it happens, cos you never know until you are in the situation.
I've been cheated on, and have forgiven....
I've never had to deal with a serial cheater.... Once, we were kinda in an open relationship, the other, we were just in a really bad place.... and I've known and loved person #2 even since I was a kid.... I couldn't but forgive.... we discussed it, worked on rebuilding trust, and are married today.
The truth is, there is no right/wrong answer to the question.. all depends on the circumstance, people involved etc... If it happened to me today (married with a son on the way), I would forgive again... but I don't know if I would stay in the marriage.. God forbid it happens, cos you never know until you are in the situation.
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