Did/will you take his last name or did/will you hyphenate

[Ms. Plain Jane]

As long as you know!

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

I'm confused...if you hyphenate why would your kids have two last names? Wont they only get their dad's last name? And if you hyphenate does it really take the place of your middle name?

I love my middle name. I want to hyphenate because I am the only child and the whole name dying, etc....

Well some people do hyphenate their kids last names when they do. But some people don't so I guess it's optional. And all the people that I know that did hyphenate use their last name as their middle name and their husbands name as their last name.

 

[Bint Yusef]

Legally/professionally it is hyphenated but I go by maiden name semicasually. In my culture, women keep their last names. The hyphen was a compromise. Children will get their father's unhyphenated last name.

 

[Mortons]

Got me wifing on the internet

 

[Divine_Order]

I've always thought that I would hyphenate. Just because my name does not sound good with anything other than my current last name. Somethin about those dag on syllables in my first name...I need a last name with at least two syllables for it to flow right!

 

[divya]

I will take his last name, and put my surname as my middle name. I'll use it conveniently. My s/o doesn't like it at all though. He doesn't want me to have my last name period. It's the one issue that we've had for a long time, and doesn't look like we will ever agree on. Oh well...

 

[Ms. Plain Jane]

Got me wifing on the internet

Your name rings bells.

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

Legally/professionally it is hyphenated but I go by maiden name semicasually. In my culture, women keep their last names. The hyphen was a compromise. Children will get their father's unhyphenated last name.

Oh ok. wonder how many other cultures don't take their husbands last name..hmmm. And that would be a good idea about the kids....Quest you gonna have some babies?

 

[gymfreak336]

Legally/professionally it is hyphenated but I go by maiden name semicasually. In my culture, women keep their last names. The hyphen was a compromise. Children will get their father's unhyphenated last name.

Really? That is interesting

Personally, I am going to hyphenate. Any children that I may have will get their fathers last name.

 

[drasgrl]

You don't have an option for not changing. If I ever do I am keeping my name.

Oh ok. wonder how many other cultures don't take their husbands last name..hmmm. And that would be a good idea about the kids....Quest you gonna have some babies?

In Chinese culture it used to be the woman kept her name but it's changing to be like we have in the west.

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

I've always thought that I would hyphenate. Just because my name does not sound good with anything other than my current last name. Somethin about those dag on syllables in my first name...I need a last name with at least two syllables for it to flow right!

I thought about that for along time with my first name wondering wat would go with it besides my last name. But I'm over it now it's not so bad.

I will take his last name, and put my surname as my middle name. I'll use it conveniently. My s/o doesn't like it at all though. He doesn't want me to have my last name period. It's the one issue that we've had for a long time, and doesn't look like we will ever agree on. Oh well...

I wonder why it would bother him for you to keep your last name. I'm sure when the time comes you guys will figure it out.

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

You don't have an option for not changing. If I ever do I am keeping my name.

I know I realized that earlier my bad.

 

[p31woman]

I will be taking his last name.

 

[Bint Yusef]

Really? That is interesting

Personally, I am going to hyphenate. Any children that I may have will get their fathers last name.

"Last" names are of recent use when contact with western societies became more regular. Before there was a patronymic naming system, meaning your name was essentially your lineage from your father and linked through the system of men, i.e. your father, grand father, great grand blah blah blah...depending on how far I go back it can be really really long. The "last name" I use is really just one or two in a series of names and that is what most of us do to have names that fit into the Western naming system(i.e. Bin Laden is not a last name and Sadam's last name is not Hussein). My father chose to stick a lot of the extra names in as a middle name.

 

[brigets]

I'm confused...if you hyphenate why would your kids have two last names? Wont they only get their dad's last name? And if you hyphenate does it really take the place of your middle name?

I agree...I hyphenated, but if we decide to have kids some day, they will take his last name.

Hypenating was a personal preference of ours. I wanted to keep my last name and he wanted me to take his, so we agreed that hyphenating would be the best choice. Sometimes I use his last name and sometimes I use the hyphenated name.

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

"Last" names are of recent use when contact with western societies became more regular. Before there was a patronymic naming system, meaning your name was essentially your lineage from your father and linked through the system of men, i.e. your father, grand father, great grand blah blah blah...depending on how far I go back it can be really really long. The "last name" I use is really just one or two in a series of names and that is what most of us do to have names that fit into the Western naming system(i.e. Bin Laden is not a last name and Sadam's last name is not Hussein). My father chose to stick a lot of the extra names in as a middle name.

That's very interesting

 

[PassionFruit]

Aww why?...if you don't mind tellin lil ol' me

How come? And can't you change ur name?

its a lil confusing

say maiden name is Smith
I came into this marriage with 2 kids from prior marriage... they have legally hyphenated names Smith-Jones... though lately they only use Jones

we get married... I use the name PassionFruit Smith-Peters
subsequent kids get hyphenated name of Smith-Peters cuz I had a complex about having 2 baby daddies... so at least with the hyphenation, we were connected in a way... Smith-Jones and Smith-Peters

problem is.... my name is ALWAYS jacked up... I cant tell you all of the business & credit problems its caused...

I get called:

Passion Smith
Passion Peters
PassionF Smith-Peters
PassionF Smithpeters
PFruit PSmith

and a million other varieties... and in the information age, computers see all of these as different people... I actually had credit files under several of those variations

ALSO, when I got into church, I argeed that I should have left SMith & Jones behind me and adopted my husband's name of Peters...

I could change and always plan to but dont feel like going thru the hassle

 

[divya]

I wonder why it would bother him for you to keep your last name. I'm sure when the time comes you guys will figure it out.

E-G-O, in my opinion. We are discussing it right now and both of us are irritated already. It really bothers me that he has such an issue with it.

 

[rabs77]

My maiden name is already hyphenated, so I can't add onto it when I get married. Depends on what his last name is, I may keep mine as is, or drop mine altogether and take his.

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

its a lil confusing

say maiden name is Smith
I came into this marriage with 2 kids from prior marriage... they have legally hyphenated names Smith-Jones... though lately they only use Jones

we get married... I use the name PassionFruit Smith-Peters
subsequent kids get hyphenated name of Smith-Peters cuz I had a complex about having 2 baby daddies... so at least with the hyphenation, we were connected in a way... Smith-Jones and Smith-Peters

problem is.... my name is ALWAYS jacked up... I cant tell you all of the business & credit problems its caused...

I get called:

Passion Smith
Passion Peters
PassionF Smith-Peters
PassionF Smithpeters
PFruit PSmith

and a million other varieties... and in the information age, computers see all of these as different people... I actually had credit files under several of those variations

ALSO, when I got into church, I argeed that I should have left SMith & Jones behind me and adopted my husband's name of Peters...

I could change and always plan to but dont feel like going thru the hassle

Yeah that does seem a bit complcated.

 

[divya]

"Last" names are of recent use when contact with western societies became more regular. Before there was a patronymic naming system, meaning your name was essentially your lineage from your father and linked through the system of men, i.e. your father, grand father, great grand blah blah blah...depending on how far I go back it can be really really long. The "last name" I use is really just one or two in a series of names and that is what most of us do to have names that fit into the Western naming system(i.e. Bin Laden is not a last name and Sadam's last name is not Hussein). My father chose to stick a lot of the extra names in as a middle name.

Good information.

I have tried to explain to my s/o that this is a western tradition, and that it isn't necessarily a requirement. But we just disagree...

 

[Bint Yusef]

Good information.

I have tried to explain to my s/o that this is a western tradition, and that it isn't necessarily a requirement. But we just disagree...

It was a struggle over here too. These men feed you for a few years and wanna own you, and want the WHOLE WORLD to know it too. I couldnt live my life out as just Mrs.______, my family had too much to do with me being here for me to drop it all the way. Plus his name doesnt tell anyone anything about me or where I come from.

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

E-G-O, in my opinion. We are discussing it right now and both of us are irritated already. It really bothers me that he has such an issue with it.

Well the important thing is you want to be together. I'm sure you will get your way

 

[Arcadian]

I will never change my name. My mother (love her but ) hyphenated her last name and ours too. I legally changed my last name because it was a dogone mess. for as simple as it sounded, people sure as hell couldn't spell it!

It was a freaking nightmare. My sister who kept her last names as well as her husband's last name when she married (I feel sorry for her kids) and then when she got RE-married

I don't need or want 50-11 last names, I couldn't keep up with the 2 I was born with.

-A

 

[candy1214]

"Last" names are of recent use when contact with western societies became more regular. Before there was a patronymic naming system, meaning your name was essentially your lineage from your father and linked through the system of men, i.e. your father, grand father, great grand blah blah blah...

Bless you child! Now i have hard proof to help justify why I can keep my last name using his cultural traditions

 

[Lucie]

I kept my last name as my middle name. Honestly, my maiden name is so amazing and powerful, I could never let it go. So my initials are LVG. I don't like hyphens.

 

[divya]

It was a struggle over here too. These men feed you for a few years and wanna own you, and want the WHOLE WORLD to know it too. I couldnt live my life out as just Mrs.______, my family had too much to do with me being here for me to drop it all the way. Plus his name doesnt tell anyone anything about me or where I come from.

Exactly! You soooo understand where I am coming from. But then, you are a female...men are so simple minded sometimes.

 

[divya]

Well the important thing is you want to be together. I'm sure you will get your way

Yes, most likely I will. It's just a sore spot for us...

 

[Bint Yusef]

Bless you child! Now i have hard proof to help justify why I can keep my last name using his cultural traditions

They've been in Merryikah too long. Here use this against him...

"Call them by (the names of) their father's, that is more just in the sight of Allah..." (Al-Ahzab 33:5)

"He who knowingly attributed his fatherhood to someone other than his real father will be excluded from paradise." (Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawood)

"He who deliberately lets himself be called the son of someone other than his father is guilty of disbelief (kufr)." (Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawood)

All that time in Sunday school paid off for something.

Exactly! You soooo understand where I am coming from. But then, you are a female...men are so simple minded sometimes.

I totally feel you.

 

[candy1214]

They've been in Merryikah too long. Here use this against him...

"Call them by (the names of) their father's, that is more just in the sight of Allah..." (Al-Ahzab 33:5)

"He who knowingly attributed his fatherhood to someone other than his real father will be excluded from paradise." (Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawood)

"He who deliberately lets himself be called the son of someone other than his father is guilty of disbelief (kufr)." (Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawood)

LOL! Actually, he's over here by himself. But I think he'll heed this. He fears Allah too much. It's his dad that may be the problem.