Deal or no Deal

[erokawa]

Um, something is way, WAY off here - and not just in the bedroom either. I agree with what someone said before me - gay, or cheating. Plus, he's selfish. He's thinking about what he wants and doesn't want and not what is essential to keep a marriage strong and to show your spouse how much you care for him and want them and love to make them happy. Yep, something's really off. I don't want to tell you to snoop, but... if he's not letting up and telling you anything, you can either find a reason to leave or leave without reason. Either way you'll be better off.

 

[gabulldawg]

Unfortunately, I will have to agree with others when they say it's not looking good. I don't know what I would do if I were in your situation. It frustrates me to not do anything sexually when I'm on my cycle!! erplexed Anyway, I definitely agree that communication is VERY important. I think you need to pick a time when you guys are BOTH free and have no distractions around you and just tell him flat-out that the two of you need to sit down and talk until you guys get to the bottom of this - whether that's thirty minutes or three hours. If you can't figure out with just the two of you talking, therapy may be the answer. I really hope everything works out for you. Please keep is posted.

 

[guudhair]

I was in a relationship like this...but his reason was that I really intimidated him...being that I'm very comfortable with myself and sexuality, I guess I kind of scared him (poor thing) ...but whenever we had sex it wouldn't last long...and he would try to get me to be very still while in the "act" so he could stay in the "game" but that never worked...I could tell it bothered him alot but we were always very open and honest with each other about it...I ended the relationship because after so long it became very annoying that I wasn't being satisfied...I didn't really have the patience to see if it would get better, but he was a great guy.

But like some other ladies said, maybe he's gay or cheating...or maybe you intimidate him when it comes to sex...I don't know...

Have you tried different ways to bring up the conversation so he can feel comfortable talking about it?...and are you bringing it up in the right environment?

 

[Farida]

You say he has always been like this, even during dating. Unless he is gay or cheating another thing to consider is he has some type of stigma attached to sex. Perhaps he was molested, or witnessed or had a bad experience with sex. Some people can't shake the notion of sex as being "bad" because the were told or told themselves that for so many years.

I don't get the sense that he is cheating. If he had been there would have been some time, especially early in the relationship when sex was regular and enjoyable. The consistency of it being lacking and un-enjoyable says it is something other than cheating - gay or hang ups.

With men it is harder to open up about sex. counseling I would say is his only hope.

 

[Leslie_C]

I went through this with an ex and he was cheating. I tend to be from the school of thought that most men want sex on a regular basis so if they arent getting it from you they are getting it from somewhere. It proved to be true in my last relationship.

I hope you get to the bottom of it and I know how you feel. You deserve better and dont deserve to be left feeling like you arent good enough or there is something wrong with YOU (a feeling I always felt at the time) and unsatisfied.