Dating Your Ex's Friends: Is this off limits for you?

Would You Date Your Ex-Boyfriend/Ex-SO's Friends?

  • Yes!

    Votes: 55 24.6%

  • No!

    Votes: 139 62.1%

  • Maybe (Please explain)!

    Votes: 30 13.4%
  • Total voters
    224
  • Poll closed .
currently, yes. it would gross me out. however, never say never :look:, which why i said "currently". there may come a time where i would but i would only do that in some kind of special circumstance.
 
Last edited:
I have done this and I will not be doing it again. Its just a bad idea all around. :nono:

Its difficult when you go to a small university where everybody *knows* each other.... :rolleyes:
 
OOH!!! I was just about to post this same topic! My friend of almost 6 years just asked me if she could date my ex in so many words. I dunno what to say. I'm in the middle of IM'ing her right now:ohwell:

I personally would not date any of my friends exes...they are jerks and man-sluts! Definitely off limits...
 
It keeps me out of trouble so no.... It keeps life drama free. I did at one point in time and life sucked BIG TIME....... it just keeps it simple
 
This is actually how I feel about it. It depends on the relationship I had with the ex. If he disrespected me, or did anything to belittle or hurt me (not that a lot tried to do that but I have 1 or 2) then that whole respect thing goes out the window. I would care less about what he thinks about me or the situation or anyone else if I got with a friend of his. I also don't subscribe to the the "birds of a feather flock together" mantra. Not at all! I've seen enough birds and feathers to know that's not the truth even generally speaking :nono:. But is it something I would make a habit of, no, not at all.

hunnybunny81 said:
I am currently in the process of getting to know my ex's friends...


I could give an *** about how he feels about it, he was physically abusive towards me, and thus our relationship ended,,,,fast forward 3 years later, I ran into a friend of his while out and about and struck up a convo.....we exchanged info...

I don't believe the "birds of a feather flock together" mantra....there are a lot of men who abuse women, but that doesn't mean that all of their friends do the same....

That's like saying because my friend chooses to go home with a guy she met at the club, means I subscribe to the same behavior...me thinks not.

I happen to mesh with someone and get along with someone and yes they happen to know or be friends with my ex but I have ZERO respect for him...he put his hands on me...so *** him.

I don't make it a habit to go after any of my exes friends...I have respect for my other exes so I would not talk to any of their friends...but in THIS case I don't respect my Ex or his feelings...
Click to expand...
 
I voted no. Here's why.

The circle that I run in is limited. My desire is to date/ marry someone with the same or similar credentials as me (post grad degree). Being that I'm interested in black men (yeah i said it and what) that limits my dating pool significantly.

If I were to then say that I would not date an ex's friend- I would slash my dating pool even more- especially since like minded- goal oriented brothas tend to flock together.

For example I have a friend (we haven't dated, but he's a perfect example) that is a lawyer. He has several black male friends with some excellent qualifications lawyers, state representatives, doctors, financial analysts/wall st. players (all in their 20s/very early 30s, handsome, good family ties, christian, etc.) If I dated him- that's a good 10-15 possibilities of good quality black men that I would have to eliminate in the future should he and I not work out. You just can't afford to limit you're dating pool like that if you're a black woman (interested in black men) these days.:nono:
 
What about cousins? I broke up with one cousin to date the other. When i started dating Dh I had schedule a date with both he and his cousin. I choose to go out with Dh. I wonder what would have happened if I choose his cousin? I guess my kids would still look like they do now because Dh and his cousin look so much alike.
 
dlewis said:
What about cousins? I broke up with one cousin to date the other. When i started dating Dh I had schedule a date with both he and his cousin. I choose to go out with Dh. I wonder what would have happened if I choose his cousin? I guess my kids would still look like they do now because Dh and his cousin look so much alike.
Click to expand...


It looks like it has worked out very well for you, but my personal rule has been to not date friends or family of an ex. Totally off limits. Period.

I've had opportunities to date friends of my ex, exes of my gfs, brothers, cousins. Just couldn't do it.
 
dlewis said:
What about cousins? I broke up with one cousin to date the other. When i started dating Dh I had schedule a date with both he and his cousin. I choose to go out with Dh. I wonder what would have happened if I choose his cousin? I guess my kids would still look like they do now because Dh and his cousin look so much alike.
Click to expand...

:lol: Play on playa, playa:giggle:
 
Depends on the type of "friendship" they have. Bussom buddies no but if they are acquaintences I may bite. I live on a really small island so everyone knows everyone...kind of hard to find someone who is out of the circle.

I may have a f-buddy relationship with a close buddy of an ex tho :look: DON'T JUDGE!!!!
 
What friends?

... Nah, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Not sure on this one, mostly because I wasn't interested in any of his friends. I think it really depends on how the break up went though. If it wasn't too messy I could see myself dating his friends, but otherwise it would be awkward.
 
It would depend on how we broke up. I dated this psycho as a freshman in college and he'd stalk and harass me after we broke up. Later on I find out that he was actually having a long-distance relationship with his gf from highschool the whole time (wasnt highly upset, never slept with him and it wasnt that serious for me). So when his close friend at the college hit on me, I was receptive. Psycho found out and called me acting like an injured party and I just laughed at him! Got rid of him finally too!
 
If they are not best friends or friends who run in the same cirlce, I don't see the problem with it. If they always hang out together then the answer would be a no.
 
Funny story, a guy that went with my sister in elementary school wanted to talk to me and I told him no. He was like, that was puppy-love. I don't care if you kissed my sister on the mouth, ten years ago or ten minutes ago, we can't do nothing but be "hello buddies".
 
A wise woman once said "Never sleep around in your own back yard".

Guys gossip more than chicks! They'll start comparing how you are in bed and be marked a HOE for life!! ewww
 
It depends on how deep/intimate our relationship was and how cool we are now. He might not genuinely care. Guys usually don't unless they were really into you "like that" anyway. I feel the same way. If it wasn't like THAT b/w us, as long as I run it by you first so there is no hint of disrespect, it should be all good.

ETA: But this has never happened to me (liking an ex's friend) so my exp is limited. Now dating a friend's ex, lol now that I know about :spinning:
 
Last edited:
Absolutely, positively not (I work at FedEx)! If Jane, per se, dates Julie's ex, then she's not her friend. What was Jane thinking whenever Julie was not around?!?! I don't buy into this. I know girls do it a lot but the friendship is immediately over when it does.

My best friend and I are no longer friends and she bad mouths me to anyone that would listen. SHE wanted to date my ex-fiance when we were going through bad times. He refused her advanced and she took it out on me. Go figure! Since then I have moved on and married someone else. She and my ex-fiance are still both single though....
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

jaiku
  • Poll Poll
Would you date your ex's friend?
2
Replies
40
Views
888
cupcakes
cupcakes
PopLife
Is it really better to be friends first?
Replies
8
Views
225
Mai Tai
Mai Tai
C
so your dating mr.popular but you aint
Replies
15
Views
533
-Kąditty-
-Kąditty-
F
Trying to be friends first
2
Replies
50
Views
1K
Allandra
A
LovelyNaps26
Is marriage/parenting an off limits topic during the "talking" stage?
Replies
12
Views
245
princessnad
princessnad
Back
Top