Dating Your Ex's Friends: Is this off limits for you?

Would You Date Your Ex-Boyfriend/Ex-SO's Friends?

  • Yes!

    Votes: 55 24.6%

  • No!

    Votes: 139 62.1%

  • Maybe (Please explain)!

    Votes: 30 13.4%
  • Total voters
    224
  • Poll closed .
cocoberry10

cocoberry10

Well-Known Member
Hey Ladies:

I just thought about this. I'm not actually in this situation, but I wonder if it's common or "okay" for women to date someone that their ex is friends with?

And if so, how close is too close (i.e. is his best friend "off limits" but his friends "okay"?)

What about his coworkers, former coworkers? Just wanting to see what you all feel about this topic. I'm going to include a poll!
 
I voted no. I really don't have an ex who has friends I would otherwise consider dating, but wouldn't that be awkward and uncomfortable? You would probably have to be around your ex. I like to leave my exes where they belong.....................in the past!
 
Hey, I don't subscribe to any of my ex's friends or my female friends ex's either. I've avoided a lot of disputes by doing this. It works for some people but not for me.
 
my most recent ex's friends are all kinda :blah:

but his cousin (who hangs out with him like a best friend)... is hot like FIYAH!!! ooh he is delicious. and he's funnier than ex.

he's probably off limits too, though. :grin: oh well.
 
stargoddess said:
dnt really care for them but even if i did i dnt want to be a pass around girl within a circle of friends
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Ditto. Plus I dunno bout anybody else's exes, but mine and his friends talk a lot about everybody's biz and they all know me. They gossip more than women supposedly do, I swear. The last thing I want is them comparing notes on me and spreading it to everyone :nono:.
 
silverlotus said:
Ditto. Plus I dunno bout anybody else's exes, but mine and his friends talk a lot about everybody's biz and they all know me. They gossip more than women supposedly do, I swear. The last thing I want is them comparing notes on me and spreading it to everyone :nono:.
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That's true. I wouldn't want my ex to be dipping in my inner circle so i wouldn't dip in his. It's kinda disrespectful even though your not a couple it like you don't care about my feelings.
THis is as bad as inviting an ex to your wedding.TackY
 
I would Never ever!! My friend didnt even have to date him, if she even likes a guy He is still off limits.
 
silverlotus said:
Ditto. Plus I dunno bout anybody else's exes, but mine and his friends talk a lot about everybody's biz and they all know me. They gossip more than women supposedly do, I swear. The last thing I want is them comparing notes on me and spreading it to everyone :nono:.
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I totally agree with your bolded. I've always thought men were bigger gossipers than women, and this (among many reasons) is why I wouldn't date my ex's friend either!:nono:
 
Nope.

Birds of a feather flock together and if I couldn't make it work with him, there's a possibility that his boy will have some of the same issues. Plus, like the other ladies said, men talk...I'm not interested in having them compare notes about my behavior in the respective relationships.

I don't like the idea of one of my close friends dating my ex so I just wouldn't want to get mixed up in that. With all of the men in the world, I'm sure I can find someone other than his friend. There's too much potential for drama. :nono:

Co-workers may be a little different, but even then, I'd be cautious.
 
My So's cousin tried to talk to me when SO & I were on a break. I had to shut him down. Besides not ever being attracted to him, if SO ever found out, he would have gone ballistic and never respected me.

I also learned that men can be very vicious from a friend of mine. My BFF went to a barbecue with her then BF, now ex-husband. One of his friends came on to her (but she made the mistake of riding to the store with this man alone). He came back and told her ex she gave him a Banana Jubilee. Well, do you know he had a hard time trusting her for a minute after that ? :nono:
 
I would say no, but I saw the movie "Catch and Release" with Jennifer Garner, and it changed my mindset. So, it certain situations, maybe.

I had a girlfriend that liked this one guy, but ended up being pursued by his friend. She dated the friend for months until true love took it's course. Now she is with the guy she liked from the beginning. It was tough in the beginning, but I saw them all last summer at a cookout and everything seemed great!
 
Why would you even want to? None of my "friends" date anybody that Im attracted to anyway but even if they did, I wouldnt want her seconds. A strangers seconds, maybe. But a friends seconds, uh uh.
 
That's a big No-No for me because I would not want him dating any of my friends. Okay, I have a situation, that happened to me before.

When I was 10 me and my play cousin use to play with the little boys in the neighborhood ( you know the little knuckle heads you grow up with) Anywho, my play cousin always liked one little boy named Willie ( who was not cute by the way) and I liked Kevin so anyway by the time I turned 12, me and Kevin was boyfriend and girlfriend:rolleyes: and my play cousin and willie was boyfriend and girlfriend:rolleyes: so at the age of 15, Kevin is out the picture ( gone to juvey) My play cousin is out of the pic, you know once we entered high school, we have lives of our own but we kept in touch, anywho...fast forward to me being 19 and seeing Willie again( my play cousin lil boy crush):rolleyes: We fell in love:lachen:and became involved with each other. I broke it off because he was a street pharmacy man and I was scared of going anywhere with him but we remained friends, after all this was my buddie since I was knee high. Sooooo a couple of years later, me and my play cousin got an apartment together and guesssss what??????? She raned into Willie and he came over to the house, and they *ahem* and she was telling me all about it. I felt a little guilty but I kept my mouth closed. It's funny because I was not mad at him nor her because after all they were boyfriend and girlfriend at the age of 10. So what do you all think of that? Was that wrong?:perplexed Willie, was killed at the age of 25 by his best friend over drug territory:sad:
 
stinastina said:
My So's cousin tried to talk to me when SO & I were on a break. I had to shut him down. Besides not ever being attracted to him, if SO ever found out, he would have gone ballistic and never respected me.

I also learned that men can be very vicious from a friend of mine. My BFF went to a barbecue with her then BF, now ex-husband. One of his friends came on to her (but she made the mistake of riding to the store with this man alone). He came back and told her ex she gave him a Banana Jubilee. Well, do you know he had a hard time trusting her for a minute after that ? :nono:
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My daughter's father friend made a pass at me, a couple of times but I did not tell my So. In fact, when I first met my SO friend at a bbq, he tried talking to me and my SO said that's mine:lachen:and when his friends are around us my SO always make it a point to say I love my ole lady no matter what all loud and stuff. His friends are like, aiight man, we know that alrighty. I'm like ummm hummmm, whatever. My SO is 41 and I'm 32 and he has friends around my age, right on up to his age and believe, you, me, he don't let none of them in. They don't even know the house number:lachen:He's very protective of me.....
 
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No no and no. What better way to look like a whore. I've seen girls get passed around in a group of guys. You will never get respect from anybody in that group
 
My ex's old friend and I are friends. He wants to be with me, but I keep telling him it ain't happening.
 
I said maybe b/c it'd really depend on how close they were. Obviously best friends etc are completely off limits, but I had this situation happen to me.

I had a guy i dated briefly a couple years ago. not too serious, and it ended after about 6 months of dating very casually. well fast forward to now and I'm having a convo w/ my bf and it turns out he knew the guy and they were good friends when they were growing up but haven't spoken in a while. in my mind it's like not a big deal, so what, but my bf said it was kinda weird and we had to have a full convo to get him to see it wasn't even serious when we were seeing each other. I had no idea they knew each other, but nyc is a small city.:rolleyes:
 
Well, my DH is my ex-boyfriend's friend (they knew each other before they knew me), so I guess not.

They are not super duper tight...in fact they are more like acquaintances. I tend to like a certain type of male (nerdy gamers) and from where I'm from they all hang out together. I couldn't avoid liking people who knew each other because the gamer community here is very closeknit. :ohwell:
 
Off limits! would neva happen! That's so disrespectful. My ex SO would look at me as a totally different type of woman and so would that friend and all the other friends in the circle who find out.
 
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