Dating When You Don't Have Social Media

KammyGirl said:
This whole social media thing has become so weird. People don't go on blind dates anymore, they don't even settle for a chat and one pic these days. It's exhausting.
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This is pretty much why I'm done with online dating. I always post 3 or 4 pics on my profile and of course once you exchange numbers they always ask for more, which is fine and I'll oblige and send maybe 2 or 3. THEN they'll start with the what's your IG/FB which I don't have. THEN they'll start with the daily routine of "send me a pic" - all before we've even made it to a first date/meetup. :rolleyes:
 
Men are visual. Much more than women as we all know.

To drive this point home, I was listening to a podcast with a couple and the topic of looks and weight came up. The guy lost 60-70 pounds a few years ago and Looks AMAZING now. But he made an off handed comment and said if he gained all the weight back he KNEW his wife wouldn't leave him. So he doesn't even stress about something like that. And his wife said of course I wouldn't.

I know so many women who have gained a lot of weight and got left it aint even funny. It's just one of the double standards.

But guys asking for pics every two seconds is annoying, I literally had a guy ask me for a pic everyday and I saw him all the time! That went no where, I just couldn't with him! Lol...Some personality types just don't vibe with one another

Keep us posted on the date
 
@caribeandiva I want to tell you my story.

I met this guy at the post office in the passport line. He saw me....I saw him. I gave him my number on my way out the door.

We chatted on the phone. He asked for a pic. Cool. I sent him a casual photo of myself, cute but casual. Then he kept asking for more pics. Mind you WE MET AT THE POST OFFICE. HE HAD A PICTURE OF ME ALREADY. He knows what I look like. I only sent him one picture.

When I refused to send him anymore pictures. He stopped talking to me.

Men.
 
caribeandiva said:
My cousin is trying to hook me up with this guy who she swears is a good match for me. He told her that he needs to see my picture first before he contacts me. So she gives him my Facebook account. Problem is I closed all of my social media accounts for various reasons. So my cousin gets my permission to give him my number. Fine by me. I'll send him a pic after I get a feel for his personality. But He keeps pressuring my cousin several times to get me to open my Facebook account back up so he can look at my pics BEFORE he texts me. I'm like: "You know what cousin? Thanks but tell dude to just forget all of this ever happened and have a nice life. I'll meet him when I meet him *shrugs*. :hand:" My family is puzzled (my cousin told several people already :fistshake:) and they're telling me to just reopen my social media accounts and stop being controlling. I'm like: "why should I inconvenience myself for a total stranger?" To be fair I don't know what he looks like either but by all accounts dude is foine, early 40s but looks much younger with a teenage daughter. I guess my mentality in all this is: are you only gonna text me after you "research" me because I'm hot? His is: I wanna put a face to the person I'm talking to.
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umm he's the one that seems to showing controlling behavior.

movingforward said:
@caribeandiva I want to tell you my story.

I met this guy at the post office in the passport line. He saw me....I saw him. I gave him my number on my way out the door.

We chatted on the phone. He asked for a pic. Cool. I sent him a casual photo of myself, cute but casual. Then he kept asking for more pics. Mind you WE MET AT THE POST OFFICE. HE HAD A PICTURE OF ME ALREADY. He knows what I look like. I only sent him one picture.

When I refused to send him anymore pictures. He stopped talking to me.

Men.
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happened with a guy i met at the grocery store. i think they're asking for nudes. i just blocked him.
 
I wouldn't meet him. That's just me though. That's too much already. I'm not going through alladat with someone that I haven't even met as yet, wtf?
When I was younger and bored I would have. Now, nawl. I don't tolerate silly games like that.
I'm easily annoyed tho, and he sounds like he would tap dance on my last nerve.
 
movingforward said:
@caribeandiva I want to tell you my story.

I met this guy at the post office in the passport line. He saw me....I saw him. I gave him my number on my way out the door.

We chatted on the phone. He asked for a pic. Cool. I sent him a casual photo of myself, cute but casual. Then he kept asking for more pics. Mind you WE MET AT THE POST OFFICE. HE HAD A PICTURE OF ME ALREADY. He knows what I look like. I only sent him one picture.

When I refused to send him anymore pictures. He stopped talking to me.

Men.
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Damn shame. Time waster
 
movingforward said:
@caribeandiva I want to tell you my story.

I met this guy at the post office in the passport line. He saw me....I saw him. I gave him my number on my way out the door.

We chatted on the phone. He asked for a pic. Cool. I sent him a casual photo of myself, cute but casual. Then he kept asking for more pics. Mind you WE MET AT THE POST OFFICE. HE HAD A PICTURE OF ME ALREADY. He knows what I look like. I only sent him one picture.

When I refused to send him anymore pictures. He stopped talking to me.

Men.
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I think you were nice to even send him the first pic considering y'all had met in person. I'm not interested in sending pics to anyone I'm in the casual talking to stages of dating, unless it's a blind date/online dating scenario. If you know what I look like and have met me in person, you don't need a pic.
 
Wow I get that men are visual creatures and so are we but we don't go to the extreme with asking for dozen of pics like men do or even IG or FB accounts. And its really crazy when the man is over 40 years old and he's requesting all this. I think it gets ridiculous after they ask for so many pics, and want the FB account to be nosy to see you in different pictures, family, what you talk about on fb and then decide rather they want to talk to or if they could picture themselves being in a relationship with you. Men are so funny.

I met my SO on Tinder and his pictures didn't do him any justice at all. But we had already started talking and texting. And he didn't ask for a ton of pics and get carried away with it. He set up a FB account but its barely anything on it and he doesn't even use FB at all and the only reason he has a IG is to look at cars and he has very few pictures on there.
 
OP I think you need a picture of him especially if he's over 40. lol

I have a friend who tried to hook me up with one of her boys. She's an attorney and her dh is a surgeon, so I knew that he would be somewhat legit. She called me and read his resume down. He's a *kind* of celebrity, has published a few books, divorced, 1 teenage daughter. She sent him my pic and he wanted to fly in for a date...

Yall - :lachen: :lachen: :lachen: :lachen:

I Googled him. I couldn't do it. I just could not do it. Shallow as hell but so what. We talked on the phone and he actually seemed okay, but nah.

Get that pic OP. You might need one of him more than he needs one of you.
 
bluediamond0829 said:
Wow I get that men are visual creatures and so are we but we don't go to the extreme with asking for dozen of pics like men do or even IG or FB accounts. And its really crazy when the man is over 40 years old and he's requesting all this. I think it gets ridiculous after they ask for so many pics, and want the FB account to be nosy to see you in different pictures, family, what you talk about on fb and then decide rather they want to talk to or if they could picture themselves being in a relationship with you. Men are so funny.

I met my SO on Tinder and his pictures didn't do him any justice at all. But we had already started talking and texting. And he didn't ask for a ton of pics and get carried away with it. He set up a FB account but its barely anything on it and he doesn't even use FB at all and the only reason he has a IG is to look at cars and he has very few pictures on there.
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Exactly! Dude is 43! I expect that behavior from a teenager or someone in their 20s. But you're in your forties.. with a teenage daughter!! I'm surprised by all this.
 
Browndilocks said:
OP I think you need a picture of him especially if he's over 40. lol

I have a friend who tried to hook me up with one of her boys. She's an attorney and her dh is a surgeon, so I knew that he would be somewhat legit. She called me and read his resume down. He's a *kind* of celebrity, has published a few books, divorced, 1 teenage daughter. She sent him my pic and he wanted to fly in for a date...

Yall - :lachen: :lachen: :lachen: :lachen:

I Googled him. I couldn't do it. I just could not do it. Shallow as hell but so what. We talked on the phone and he actually seemed okay, but nah.

Get that pic OP. You might need one of him more than he needs one of you.
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I checked out his pics. I just googled his name and his Facebook and MySpace came up! Yes , MySpace!! :lachen: He's a light skin dude. He's cute but he ain't super attractive to me either. He looks like a less cute version of Ice-T's son. I was expecting Shemar Moore based on what my cousin was saying. :lol: He's wearing sunglasses and flashing his watch in 90% of his pictures. That explains a lot.
 
JerriBlank said:
I wouldn't meet him. That's just me though. That's too much already. I'm not going through alladat with someone that I haven't even met as yet, wtf?
When I was younger and bored I would have. Now, nawl. I don't tolerate silly games like that.
I'm easily annoyed tho, and he sounds like he would tap dance on my last nerve.
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Right. I think I would be petty and cancel or reschedule for a later date. But the petty in me would need for things not to go so smoothly for him. Right now it's like he's in control and the prize.
 
caribeandiva said:
Exactly! Dude is 43! I expect that behavior from a teenager or someone in their 20s. But you're in your forties.. with a teenage daughter!! I'm surprised by all this.
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Right and its just a behavior that he has been doing for so long that he thinks that this is the right way to meet someone. Most of the time this type of dude has done some online dating or went by some pics on a woman's FB or IG and either were catfished or the woman didn't look nothing like her picture so he thinks instead of him wasting time and going thru that all again he's trying this method. Or it maybe one of his friend's that he's heard it from. That's why its so many that are single in there upper 30's and 40's and plus they have a nasty stank attitude. I think you did the right thing. If I wasn't on FB and IG I'm not reactivating my account for some random dude that's just going by pictures to make up his mind on rather he wants to meet me. Why should he be so privy to make that choice? Like he is some king or something lol
 
bluediamond0829 said:
Right and its just a behavior that he has been doing for so long that he thinks that this is the right way to meet someone. Most of the time this type of dude has done some online dating or went by some pics on a woman's FB or IG and either were catfished or the woman didn't look nothing like her picture so he thinks instead of him wasting time and going thru that all again he's trying this method. Or it maybe one of his friend's that he's heard it from. That's why its so many that are single in there upper 30's and 40's and plus they have a nasty stank attitude. I think you did the right thing. If I wasn't on FB and IG I'm not reactivating my account for some random dude that's just going by pictures to make up his mind on rather he wants to meet me. Why should he be so privy to make that choice? Like he is some king or something lol
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Bad experiences definitely have some of these dudes showing their arses.

I NEVER send messages first but I came across a dude that was kind of cute so I hit him up.

Him: when are you available to meet?
Me: * a little taken aback* Wow, straight to the point, huh?
Him: Yep. if you're not gonna make time to meet, no use in talking.
Me: *really kind of turned off now* Umm ok. Proceeds to give him my availability, then asks "well do I at least get a name first?"
Him: Yes, I have a first name and a last name. Where in Boston do you live? Do you have any more pics? I have a ton of pics on my page.
Me: *looks at my computer like n**ga, who is you talking to like that and proceeds to hit block.*

TF outta here with ya stank self.
 
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GeorginaSparks said:
yup. definitely wouldnt bother and tell your cousin to NEVER try that again.
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Yes!! Regardless of how this weekend goes, I'm gonna have a talk with her. I'm gonna ask her why is she so desperate to hook me up with THIS particular guy who's clearly showing through his actions that's he's not ready for anything serious. I have a feeling that the only reason dude is acting like that is because she's constantly bugging him, reaching out to him, and putting him on a freaking pedestal. I'm the prize here, not him. Dude prolly think I'm just as desperate as my cousin now. And I wouldn't blame him. It's my fault for going along with this. I should've stuck to my guns when I told her I was done with him. She was like: "please meet him! Don't embarrass me like that." Ummm... what?!
 
MzLady78 said:
Bad experiences definitely have some of these dudes showing their arses.

I NEVER send messages first but I came across a dude that was kind of cute so I hit him up.

Him: when are you available to meet?
Me: * a little taken aback* Wow, straight to the point, huh?
Him: Yep. if you're not gonna make time to meet, no use in talking.
Me: *really kind of turned off now* Umm ok. Proceeds to give him my availability, then asks "well do I at least get a name first?"
Him: Yes, I have a first name and a last name. Where in Boston do you live? Do you have any more pics? I have a ton of pics on my page.
Me: *looks at my computer like n**ga, who is you talking to like that and proceeds to hit block.*

TF outta here with ya stank self.
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Girl what? Oh heck no! I'm mad for you.
 
MzLady78 said:
Bad experiences definitely have some of these dudes showing their arses.

I NEVER send messages first but I came across a dude that was kind of cute so I hit him up.

Him: when are you available to meet?
Me: * a little taken aback* Wow, straight to the point, huh?
Him: Yep. if you're not gonna make time to meet, no use in talking.
Me: *really kind of turned off now* Umm ok. Proceeds to give him my availability, then asks "well do I at least get a name first?"
Him: Yes, I have a first name and a last name. Where in Boston do you live? Do you have any more pics? I have a ton of pics on my page.
Me: *looks at my computer like n**ga, who is you talking to like that and proceeds to hit block.*

TF outta here with ya stank self.
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Oh wow he had too much attitude. When he got to that part about Yes I have a first and a last name and Even way before then. I was too done. I always say that men want women that don't have baggage BUT yet they come with so much more baggage from there previous ex's, just even dating situations, etc and then mixed with a nasty a** attitude doesn't equal a good situation at all.
 
bluediamond0829 said:
Oh wow he had too much attitude. When he got to that part about Yes I have a first and a last name and Even way before then. I was too done. I always say that men want women that don't have baggage BUT yet they come with so much more baggage from there previous ex's, just even dating situations, etc and then mixed with a nasty a** attitude doesn't equal a good situation at all.
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Yeah, I was side eyeing the first message. But at the same time, I was like, well, it's good that he's not trying to send messages forever and not meet up. But nah, you ain't gonna be talking to me all crazy.
 
MzLady78 said:
Bad experiences definitely have some of these dudes showing their arses.

I NEVER send messages first but I came across a dude that was kind of cute so I hit him up.

Him: when are you available to meet?
Me: * a little taken aback* Wow, straight to the point, huh?
Him: Yep. if you're not gonna make time to meet, no use in talking.
Me: *really kind of turned off now* Umm ok. Proceeds to give him my availability, then asks "well do I at least get a name first?"
Him: Yes, I have a first name and a last name. Where in Boston do you live? Do you have any more pics? I have a ton of pics on my page.
Me: *looks at my computer like n**ga, who is you talking to like that and proceeds to hit block.*

TF outta here with ya stank self.
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IMG_3558.GIF
 
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