Dating When You Don't Have Social Media

[BonBon]

I don't think you should have been privy to this back and forth conversation in the first place personally.

If he asked to see a picture (which is fine IMO as a lot of people don't like blind dates!) then she could have shown him a few that she has. Instead, she sends him a dead facebook link lol. Then sends him your number when his original request was to see you before deciding to start contacting.

I think all of this needs to be smoothed out behind the scenes before even mentioning the match. That's the whole point to me. A nice, seamless introduction to a good romantic prospect assisted by a friend or family

 

[Xavier]

I don't do IG and FB anymore it's been over a year now and in general,I don't like men that are SM addicts..can't stand a constant selfie taking ninja, it's not masculine or sexy to me.

This right here. I do not like a guy taking selfies or constantly posting on social media. It's definitely a turn off for me as well. The shirtless pics are the worse.

 

[hopeful]

I wish I would reactivate my closed social media accounts for some random guy. Your cousin and the guy can figure out a way for him to see a picture of you. And if he must see your social media pages(s) then oh well his loss. The whole thing is silly.

 

[LeftRightRepeat]

i would want a picture before i start engaging with someone and they get my phone number

your cousin doesn't have any pictures of you that she can show him? i dunno.

If i were the guy i wouldn't bother if getting picture was such a big deal. if I were the girl i probably wouldn't bother if giving a picture was such a big deal

 

[caribeandiva]

I don't think you should have been privy to this back and forth conversation in the first place personally.

If he asked to see a picture (which is fine IMO as a lot of people don't like blind dates!) then she could have shown him a few that she has. Instead, she sends him a dead facebook link lol. Then sends him your number when his original request was to see you before deciding to start contacting.

I think all of this needs to be smoothed out behind the scenes before even mentioning the match. That's the whole point to me. A nice, seamless introduction to a good romantic prospect assisted by a friend or family

Agreed.

 

[caribeandiva]

I wish I would reactivate my closed social media accounts for some random guy. Your cousin and the guy can figure out a way for him to see a picture of you. And if he must see your social media pages(s) then oh well his loss. The whole thing is silly.

It is!! At first I was frustrated then I was like: oh well, your loss. Next!!

 

[caribeandiva]

i would want a picture before i start engaging with someone and they get my phone number

your cousin doesn't have any pictures of you that she can show him? i dunno.

If i were the guy i wouldn't bother if getting picture was such a big deal. if I were the girl i probably wouldn't bother if giving a picture was such a big deal

Lose-lose right and yes my cousin has lots of pics. I'm not sure why she didn't just pull up a few on her phone to show him on the spot.

 

[LovinLea]

Dating without social media is a bit weird but I'm still open to it. WIth social media, I already know your age, where you live, what school you went to, I've seen your friends, a bit of your family, what type of music you like, and what you do for fun. Without it, it's starting totally blank.

I always try to set up my brother and I always have a pic to show him because I know he'll ask. This dude can't just see a pic, or does he NEED facebook? I think your cousin should just show a picture. But asking to open a facebook for him is doing too much.

 

[Dee-Licious]

I'm confused on how she even got a link to share a deactivated page? I'd think you'd have to be able to go on the page to get the link.

 

[quirkydimples]

WIth social media, I already know your age, where you live, what school you went to, I've seen your friends, a bit of your family, what type of music you like, and what you do for fun. Without it, it's starting totally blank.

I don't like all of this; it's why I'm not on social media. I don't need random people knowing that much about my personal life. It's stalkerish to me and makes me feel exposed.

Me no likey.

Also...get off my lawn.

 

[qchelle]

Dating without social media is a bit weird but I'm still open to it. WIth social media, I already know your age, where you live, what school you went to, I've seen your friends, a bit of your family, what type of music you like, and what you do for fun. Without it, it's starting totally blank.

I always try to set up my brother and I always have a pic to show him because I know he'll ask. This dude can't just see a pic, or does he NEED facebook? I think your cousin should just show a picture. But asking to open a facebook for him is doing too much.

You don't think that's weird? knowing all that stuff before you meet someone?

 

[sunnieb]

Your cousin is a horrible matchmaker!

She should've shown him pics of you from her phone.

 

[RocStar]

Asking to see a picture is not an unreasonable request. Couldn't you just take one of your pictures from facebook and email it to your cousin to email it to him or something?

Why text with someone who looks like Shrek if Shrek is not your type.

 

[caribeandiva]

I don't like all of this; it's why I'm not on social media. I don't need random people knowing that much about my personal life. It's stalkerish to me and makes me feel exposed.

Me no likey.

Also...get off my lawn.

Yes to all of this!!!

 

[caribeandiva]

I'm confused on how she even got a link to share a deactivated page? I'd think you'd have to be able to go on the page to get the link.

I deactivated it months ago. She didn't know and gave him my name so he could look me up. Also I don't have his number (he has mine though) or I'd have reached out to him by now.

 

[caribeandiva]

Asking to see a picture is not an unreasonable request. Couldn't you just take one of your pictures from facebook and email it to your cousin to email it to him or something?

Why text with someone who looks like Shrek if Shrek is not your type.

True. I agree with you. My cousin has a lot of my Facebook pics already on her phone. I'm not sure why she didn't just send him one. I don't mind sending him my pic but I don't have his contact info. He has mine and refuses to use it unless I reopen my Facebook. Huge turnoff.

Your cousin is a horrible matchmaker!

She should've shown him pics of you from her phone.

Yes and yes!! she was so excited too! Apparently she set up a face to face meeting for us to meet on Saturday. She's determined! Damn... We'll see how that goes. I'm not expecting him to show up honestly.

 

[caribeandiva]

Update: my cousin fixed her blunder and sent him my pics... and dude is in love. Can't stop saying how pretty I am and how he can't wait to meet me on Saturday. We'll see...

 

[bklynbornNbred]

Update: my cousin fixed her blunder and sent him my pics... and dude is in love. Can't stop saying how pretty I am and how he can't wait to meet me on Saturday. We'll see...

Did your cousin send you his picture? By the time I got to last update I was ready to post leave this one alone and don't let your cousin get involved with your dating life anymore.

 

[LovinLea]

I don't like all of this; it's why I'm not on social media. I don't need random people knowing that much about my personal life. It's stalkerish to me and makes me feel exposed.

Me no likey.

Also...get off my lawn.

You don't think that's weird? knowing all that stuff before you meet someone?

It's comforting! Mama don't have time to waste.

 

[LovinLea]

Update: my cousin fixed her blunder and sent him my pics... and dude is in love. Can't stop saying how pretty I am and how he can't wait to meet me on Saturday. We'll see...

I hope it's an awesome dinner after all of this.

 

[hopeful]

Update: my cousin fixed her blunder and sent him my pics... and dude is in love. Can't stop saying how pretty I am and how he can't wait to meet me on Saturday. We'll see...

Good luck and keep us updated.

 

[sunnieb]

What he look like?

 

[caribeandiva]

Did your cousin send you his picture? By the time I got to last update I was ready to post leave this one alone and don't let your cousin get involved with your dating life anymore.

I don't have his picture nor do I care at this point cuz I'm so turned off by all this. This will be the first and last time I let my cousin set me up with someone. I hate having people set me up on dates anyway cuz it never works out. Waste of time in my opinion. I'm hoping it's not dinner. Maybe a quick coffee. The shorter the better.

 

[Evolving78]

Some people want to see what they're getting into. It's their prerogative, however I wouldn't oblige him.

I just don't understand why her cousin doesn't have a pic to send? Why does she have to open her account back up? The pic is one thing, but to want to comb through her fb profile/page is another.

But I would want to see what somebody looks like too.

 

[MzLady78]

I don't have his picture nor do I care at this point cuz I'm so turned off by all this. This will be the first and last time I let my cousin set me up with someone. I hate having people set me up on dates anyway cuz it never works out. Waste of time in my opinion. I'm hoping it's not dinner. Maybe a quick coffee. The shorter the better.

Yeah, I would definitely do coffee and not a full on dinner.

 

[Browndilocks]

i would want a picture before i start engaging with someone and they get my phone number

your cousin doesn't have any pictures of you that she can show him? i dunno.

If i were the guy i wouldn't bother if getting picture was such a big deal. if I were the girl i probably wouldn't bother if giving a picture was such a big deal

This. Honestly, I wouldn't bother if I could not see a picture first and I wouldn't understand the big deal about not wanting to send a link or something. If you want to actively date nowadays, these are just some of the things you have to do. I don't know a single man whose first inclination is to check for her personality. IJS. You don't have to be active on SM but at least have a cute pic to share. He should have one too - it works both ways.

 

[Xavier]

I don't have his picture nor do I care at this point cuz I'm so turned off by all this. This will be the first and last time I let my cousin set me up with someone. I hate having people set me up on dates anyway cuz it never works out. Waste of time in my opinion. I'm hoping it's not dinner. Maybe a quick coffee. The shorter the better.

Girl that is such a poor attitude to have and if you expect the date to be a waste of your time then it will be. You are only going by what your cousin is telling you about this guy. Don't be so quick to judge. Several of the ladies in this thread including myself don't see anything wrong with his request of a pic. Your cousin is more than likely the one turning this into a huge ordeal. Not saying he will be Mr. Perfect but just be positive. You never know what could happen.

 

[caribeandiva]

Girl that is such a poor attitude to have and if you expect the date to be a waste of your time then it will be. You are only going by what your cousin is telling you about this guy. Don't be so quick to judge. Several of the ladies in this thread including myself don't see anything wrong with his request of a pic. Your cousin is more than likely the one turning this into a huge ordeal. Not saying he will be Mr. Perfect but just be positive. You never know what could happen.

That's true. You're absolutely right. I need to change my attitude from negative to positive. Go in there expecting things to go well and they will. I will enjoy myself no matter what happens. If anything I'll get a good lesson or a good story out of it to tell you ladies on Saturday.

What he look like?

I'll find out on Saturday. I'm expecting the best (positive attitude right? ). All who've seen and met him say dude is foine. We'll see...

 

[bklynbornNbred]

I don't have his picture nor do I care at this point cuz I'm so turned off by all this. This will be the first and last time I let my cousin set me up with someone. I hate having people set me up on dates anyway cuz it never works out. Waste of time in my opinion. I'm hoping it's not dinner. Maybe a quick coffee. The shorter the better.

Change your mindset but also get your own picture from your cousin OF him. Why make him feel he has upper hand or that looks don't matter? You're acting like this is happening to you. You do have a choice.

I've been set up and learned others definition of "fione" varies widely. Folks have been cussed out for the bait and switch nonsense. Get your own recent picture and decide for yourself what you're comfortable with for a first meeting and be prepared to offer suggestion ("I'm not up for dinner but there's a cute cafe I've been wanting to check out how about a late lunch?"). This way if it goes well when you get prearranged call/text from gf "canceling dinner" you can continue time with him or use call/text as excuse to go. You still got to make effort to get to know him but don't waste your pretty on some ok dude you haven't verified with your own eyes. And ask all the pertinent questions (kids, employed, divorced/separated/single). If he's that doggone fione what he need setting up for?

Wanting a picture is far different than wanting to see your profile. I'll await your update but my spidey senses are tingling on this one.

 

[caribeandiva]

Change your mindset but also get your own picture from your cousin OF him. Why make him feel he has upper hand or that looks don't matter? You're acting like this is happening to you. You do have a choice.

I've been set up and learned others definition of "fione" varies widely. Folks have been cussed out for the bait and switch nonsense. Get your own recent picture and decide for yourself what you're comfortable with for a first meeting and be prepared to offer suggestion ("I'm not up for dinner but there's a cute cafe I've been wanting to check out how about a late lunch?"). This way if it goes well when you get prearranged call/text from gf "canceling dinner" you can continue time with him or use call/text as excuse to go. You still got to make effort to get to know him but don't waste your pretty on some ok dude you haven't verified with your own eyes. And ask all the pertinent questions (kids, employed, divorced/separated/single). If he's that doggone fione what he need setting up for?

Wanting a picture is far different than wanting to see your profile. I'll await your update but my spidey senses are tingling on this one.

Great advice! Thank you!!