Dating When You Don't Have Social Media

[caribeandiva]

My cousin is trying to hook me up with this guy who she swears is a good match for me. He told her that he needs to see my picture first before he contacts me. So she gives him my Facebook account. Problem is I closed all of my social media accounts for various reasons. So my cousin gets my permission to give him my number. Fine by me. I'll send him a pic after I get a feel for his personality. But He keeps pressuring my cousin several times to get me to open my Facebook account back up so he can look at my pics BEFORE he texts me. I'm like: "You know what cousin? Thanks but tell dude to just forget all of this ever happened and have a nice life. I'll meet him when I meet him *shrugs*. " My family is puzzled (my cousin told several people already ) and they're telling me to just reopen my social media accounts and stop being controlling. I'm like: "why should I inconvenience myself for a total stranger?" To be fair I don't know what he looks like either but by all accounts dude is foine, early 40s but looks much younger with a teenage daughter. I guess my mentality in all this is: are you only gonna text me after you "research" me because I'm hot? His is: I wanna put a face to the person I'm talking to.

 

[Dee Raven]

It seems weird that it's that big of a deal. When you're meeting a complete stranger that would be one thing. But he knows your cousin, so it sounds weird that he needs a picture. Especially to go out on one mini-date like coffee. Maybe it's for the best.

 

[LostInAdream]

Some people want to see what they're getting into. It's their prerogative, however I wouldn't oblige him.

 

[LdyKamz]

This whole social media thing has become so weird. People don't go on blind dates anymore, they don't even settle for a chat and one pic these days. It's exhausting.

 

[Dposh167]

I had a guy online ask me for my instagram which i never had. Once i told him i dont have it he stopped talking to me. And mind u we were already talking on the phone by that time. So the fact that i didnt have social media made him scares to even meet me is ridiculous. I put on my profiles that i dont have social media so dont ask

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Dude couldn't even commit to a text until he knew for sure that you weren't ugly? That's deep. It's a text, dude. Why not just ask for your pic after texting you?

 

[LiftedUp]

I can't blame him for wanting a pic first and I can't blame you for not conceding .

I like his candor and I like that you stood your ground too. Maybe you are truly a good match lol

 

[qchelle]

Goodness, I am so not with the times reactivate your fb for a date?

When did social media get so serious?

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Goodness, I am so not with the times reactivate your fb for a date?

When did social media get so serious?

Also, couldn't the cousin just show him a pic of OP? He's probably trying to feel her out based on her profile, not just the pic.

 

[caribeandiva]

Dude couldn't even commit to a text until he knew for sure that you weren't ugly? That's deep. It's a text, dude. Why not just ask for your pic after texting you?

Exactly! I was willing to send him a pic afterwards.

 

[caribeandiva]

I had a guy online ask me for my instagram which i never had. Once i told him i dont have it he stopped talking to me. And mind u we were already talking on the phone by that time. So the fact that i didnt have social media made him scares to even meet me is ridiculous. I put on my profiles that i dont have social media so dont ask

I remember you mentioned that before in another thread and i thought of you. Is it really that serious? Damn

 

[caribeandiva]

I can't blame him for wanting a pic first and I can't blame you for not conceding ...
I like his candor and I like that you stood your ground too. Maybe you are truly a good match lol

That's what my sister said .

 

[C@ssandr@]

I think this is becoming a bigger issue than it should be. Why doesn't your cousin just show him your picture? Why hasn't she shown you his? Its really not necessary to reactivate fb just so he can see what you look like.

I think the fam is hyping this all up. Are you sure he really is pressing your cousin about your fb account?

 

[brownb83]

I can't. I have heard that men like to gain aproval from their friends before they decide on that person.

 

[SurferBabe]

I think this is becoming a bigger issue than it should be. Why doesn't your cousin just show him your picture? Why hasn't she shown you his? Its really not necessary to reactivate fb just so he can see what you look like.

I think the fam is hyping this all up. Are you sure he really is pressing your cousin about your fb account?

This is what I was going to say. It would have made more sense for the cousin to have shown him your pic and gotten the thumbs up before she even told you about him. I'm sure she has a pic of the two of you together-- "hey, this is my cousin, you should meet her." How in the world did humanity function before social media?

 

[Dee-Licious]

I would like to know what a person looks like before I start talking to them for a romantic reason. If someone is not physically appealing to me, there is no need to waste each others' time.

 

[Xavier]

It doesn't need to be this complicated. Why not just send your cousin several pics of you to send to him? I don't blame him because I would make the same request.

 

[Xavier]

I think this is becoming a bigger issue than it should be. Why doesn't your cousin just show him your picture? Why hasn't she shown you his? Its really not necessary to reactivate fb just so he can see what you look like.

I think the fam is hyping this all up. Are you sure he really is pressing your cousin about your fb account?

I basically said the same thing. I don't get why it's so complicate for her to just send him your pics.

 

[FearlessNik]

Just use this as a tool to screen out the losers.

 

[MzLady78]

Him wanting to see a pic isn't a big deal.

I've definitely chatted with guys, had a good vibe only to be highly disappointed when that pic came. Never again.

But the FB thing is doing too much and would turn me off.

 

[LovelyRo]

I would like to know what a person looks like before I start talking to them for a romantic reason. If someone is not physically appealing to me, there is no need to waste each others' time.

I totally agree with this. Heck, even pics can be deceiving. I definitely wouldn't be a good candidate for a blind date.

ETA: I think it's unnecessary to re-activate your FB though. He just wants to see you from every angle. Lol

 

[SpiritJunkie]

Social Media most def has changed the game.
..
The last guy I dated was the owner of a company that i was hiring to update my website....initially he was sending a subordinate to meet me.
When the meeting took place...the subordinate was there...then this guy shows up! We were both surprised actually. LOL... he admitted scooping me out on social media and wanting to meet me in person. He was relentless.

They want to see who your friends are...what you talk about etc etc...a friend of a friend met her soon to be husband on Instagram..they getting married next week.

 

[caribeandiva]

It doesn't need to be this complicated. Why not just send your cousin several pics of you to send to him? I don't blame him because I would make the same request.

She already has them. Tons of them. I'm not sure why she hasn't shown them to him.

 

[caribeandiva]

Him wanting to see a pic isn't a big deal.
...
But the FB thing is doing too much and would turn me off.

I agree. Huge turnoff.

 

[caribeandiva]

Social Media most def has changed the game.... he admitted scooping me out on social media and wanting to meet me in person. He was relentless.

They want to see who your friends are...what you talk about etc etc...a friend of a friend met her soon to be husband on Instagram..they getting married next week.

Omg... it's that serious? I thought that's what dating was for: to find out all of this stuff about each other.

 

[ladysaraii]

Social Media most def has changed the game.
..
The last guy I dated was the owner of a company that i was hiring to update my website....initially he was sending a subordinate to meet me.
When the meeting took place...the subordinate was there...then this guy shows up! We were both surprised actually. LOL... he admitted scooping me out on social media and wanting to meet me in person. He was relentless.

They want to see who your friends are...what you talk about etc etc...a friend of a friend met her soon to be husband on Instagram..they getting married next week.

Isn't that the point of getting to know someone IRL?

 

[SpiritJunkie]

Omg... it's that serious? I thought that's what dating was for: to find out all of this stuff about each other.

@ladysaraii

Ladies I thought the same thing but for some folks they use SM to get rolling before moving forward with you. This guy knew all of the friends we had in common etc etc...he told me straight that he scooped me out. It appears that people are using it to do a pre-screening .

It's similar to online dating right? You check out the picture and profile before sending a smiley face. Now it's free and its IG or FB.

 

[FemmeFatale]

I don't do IG and FB anymore it's been over a year now and in general,I don't like men that are SM addicts..can't stand a constant selfie taking ninja, it's not masculine or sexy to me.

I met my SO in person at the gym and we cultivated an amazing and organic relationship. He's not obsessed with SM and he respects my decision to not be.

But OP send a pic so he can see you, lol.

 

[ladysaraii]

@ladysaraii

Ladies I thought the same thing but for some folks they use SM to get rolling before moving forward with you. This guy knew all of the friends we had in common etc etc...he told me straight that he scooped me out. It appears that people are using it to do a pre-screening .

It's similar to online dating right? You check out the picture and profile before sending a smiley face. Now it's free and its IG or FB.

Dear lord. And I see this as a step further than online dating. At lease on my profile you don't have access to scroll through years of my life.

 

[SpiritJunkie]

I don't do IG and FB anymore it's been over a year now and in general,I don't like men that are SM addicts..can't stand a constant selfie taking ninja, it's not masculine or sexy to me.

I met my SO in person at the gym and we cultivated an amazing and organic relationship. He's not obsessed with SM and he respects my decision to not be.

But OP send a pic so he can see you, lol.

yes there are SM addicts now. Seriously, who troll SM looking for women. I am also weary of a man who's constantly on FB because you trolling n&&*&...smh...the game has changed.