Dating And Professional School

[AfroKink]

I enter medschool in a little while as a single woman. I hear people say all the time that "there is no time for dating or going out in medschool", because there's far too much work/studying to be done. I understand that, but I don't see the dating opportunities in residency, with the 10-18 hour shifts, being much better. With residency being 2+ years, that puts me at age 28+ when I start dating again. That nuh mek it! I'm not putting of my personal life for the next 6 years. Since marriage and family are things that are important to me, I'm willing to sacrifice for them.

For you ladies that are in, or completed, professional programs (medicine, dentistry, law, MBA, etc. etc.) how do/did you balance academic and personal life? How do/did you find time to date?

Lys

 

[Belle Du Jour]

There are plenty of people who met their spouse in med school or in residency. It's possible.

 

[AfroKink]

There are plenty of people who met their spouse in med school or in residency. It's possible.

I know it's possible. I plan to do it. I'm looking for tips. Are they dating classmates, old college friends... do they date the same way as their friends who aren't in professional school... do they stick to online dating... professional organizations... where does the time come from... how not to neglect any of your responsibilities...

Lys

 

[Farida]

A lot of med people I know met their spouse before med school (which is great because you can build a foundation to stand the storm that is med school), during (a classmate, a nurse or other worker at the hospital because they were around each other all the time) or after.

 

[amara11]

Though "plenty of people" do it---- for *most* it is a challenge for many young black professionals seeking fulfilling relationships during the professional school years. That's just the truth. In Human Bevior in Medicine we learned the grim statistics for relationships and marriage for health professionals and health professional students- and the figures are worse for black people. I think location is key. If you're in a large metropolitan city that's pretty diverse you shouldn't have much problems finding others to mix and mingle with whenever you catch a break from studying. But if you live in a town like Boston (boo!) which on it's own is pretty lame for young black professionals anyway (relatively speaking) it gets trickier when you add a low pool to choose from, and time restraints to the equation. The guys who are doing something with themselves are often playing all sorts of games because they can (the ratio is in their favor). I'm still not sure what the solutions are though! I'm trying to figure them out myself. The best advice I can give is to stay ontop of school work so that you can be able to enjoy other things. If you learn to become adept at time management- which is truly the holy grail in this field- you'll find time to figure some of these things out and to pursue them.


hth in some kinda crazy way!
amara11

 

[Belle Du Jour]

I know it's possible. I plan to do it. I'm looking for tips. Are they dating classmates, old college friends... do they date the same way as their friends who aren't in professional school... do they stick to online dating... professional organizations... where does the time come from... how not to neglect any of your responsibilities...

Lys

From my experience, they are dating classmates, students in other professions, residents, nurses, etc.

 

[Finewine]

Most of my classmates are dating, getting married, or already married. Med school is about balance. I had my first b/f since ~4 years during my first year. Time was a factor, but you have to find the balance between school and your personal life. It's also important that you have a considerate SO. To be honest, some students lock themselves away for four years, and others enjoy life to the fullest. The key is finding what it is that you want to achieve academically (you don't want your grades to fall b/c of a guy) and personally. I plan on having my first child during my first year of residency, so I'm dating now. Finding Mr. Right may take a while.

 

[Theo]

I'm worried about this as well.