Dating a smoker..

myronnie

myronnie

Well-Known Member
I don't smoke, and i have asthma..If I'm around someone who's smoking it's fine for the first 5 minutes but after that my chest tightens up and pretty much my whole night is ruined. My throat even starts to hurt if it's been a prolonged period of time. :ohwell:

What are your ladies opinions on dating a smoker?
I'm dating one right now. He's been smoking for 2 years and HE'S SO (*&#&*( MESSY. He uses the cupholders in his truck for ashtrays. He dosen't have a mint after he smokes. He doesn't wash his hands after a smoke. He doesn't use cologne or febreeze.
Ugh.

We had a little fight today. When I got home from his house I smelled rank like smoke. I'm the type of person to like to dress nice and have my hair done and smoke just ruins it I think. I told him that he should think of other people's feelings a little more and he got mad and said that well maybe it's kind of a bad thing for us to be together health-wise. And he was mad and went to bed because he thought I was calling him inconsiderate.
Sigh.
It would be nice if he didn't smoke with me in a small confined space (ie his truck or the room (YES THE ROOM IN HIS HOUSE)). He said that he would smoke outside from now on but ugh. I guess I'm just still grossed out by today. IDK. He's an awesome guy but idk how long it's gonna last with him doing this mess. He told me that i was being nit-picky but i'm sorry but NO OTHER PERSON WOULD LET THIS MESS SLIDE. I'm just standing up for myself.
 
Ummmmm..... Yall need to stop dating. Was he a smoker when you met him? You really cant ask him to NOT smoke in HIS house and HIS car. When you add your health elements to it this seems to be an open and shut case.
 
Yup hes been smoking from before we got together. Im slightly ok with the smoke but his hygiene bothers me the most!
 
I cant deal with smoking ever. I ask before so I dont get to attached to find out later

eta: does he plan on quiting?
 
Kimgirl50 said:
I cant deal with smoking ever. I ask before so I dont get to attached to find out later

eta: does he plan on quiting?
Click to expand...

Bahahaha. No. he has cut down alot but quit? Not at this point. He buys cigs by the carton..i would say he smokes a pack a day

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smwrigh3 said:
Ummmmm..... Yall need to stop dating. Was he a smoker when you met him? You really cant ask him to NOT smoke in HIS house and HIS car. When you add your health elements to it this seems to be an open and shut case.
Click to expand...

I agree...i might have to let him off easily...

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myronnie said:
Bahahaha. No. he has cut down alot but quit? Not at this point. He buys cigs by the carton..i would say he smokes a pack a day

Sent from my LS670 using Long Hair Care Forum App
Click to expand...

Is he worth your life :( <<exaggerating but still. In your shoes I couldn't, I like my men to smell like men not a chimney
 
I think it's unfair of you to go at him about the smoking when you knew he was a smoker. How on earth do you kiss him when he's not trying to brush teeth and rinse with scope after smoking? I don't understand how you two got past the first date.
 
I couldn't date a man who smokes. I don't see how you do it with your health issues.

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Smoking is a deal breaker for me. You shouldn't be dating him with your asthma/dislike or smoking habits UNLESS he was telling you that he wanted to quit and was in the process of doing so....but it doesn't sound it.
 
Sooooo... Why are you dating him in the first place? You obviously don't like how he's messy and he smokes. You already know what you need to do.
 
I have asthma so I understand. I don't think you're being picky for wanting to protect your health. Next thing you know you're married to a smoker who tells you to stop being nit picky as you grab your emergency inhaler constantly (and you know that's supposed to be used sparingly as it can cause problems down the line). So make no mistake this guy is compromising your health...and he doesn't care (because if he did he'd listen and dosomething about it. I know a married couple (one smokes the other has asthma) but he only smokes outside. In this case ole boy is being considerate cause he doesn't want to put his wife in the ER (so this wholehis house thing....well he knew he was dating someone with asthma and should be considerate or tell her upfront that he can't be. AND once she knows that and/or sees his actions she should've walked).

So anyways that couple is still married. NOw I don't know how she can do it because to me the smoke still lingers on the clothes but whatever it works for them. I can only see that working if the guy is considerate like that (as in your case you can deal with a little smoke but onlya little).

For me I don't date smokers. I gave one guy a chance when I was 18 because I didn't want to judge lol! How silly was I. In every relationship you judge a situation: decide if it's for you or not, and stay or bounce. After that I decided I wouldn't hack and cough my way through any more relationships.
 
OMG this post has me laughing so hard! I seriously thought this was a joke, you really here wondering if you should be with someone who is a smoker and you got asthma??? As in your "chest tightens up" and your "throat hurts" around this guy! As in you have to keep your inhaler close and your EMERGENCY inhaler closer!?!? This is a joke right? This guy sounds disgusting, dumping ashes everywhere and having nasty hygiene and you still debate what to do? You with someone who doesnt care about his own health and expect for him to care about yours. Does that make sense? You have asthma! As in when you have an attack you cant BREATH! Well you need to breath to live! LOL! Breathe Myronnie, BREATHE! I cant take this no more!

GIFSoup
 
If people show you who they really are... believe them.

Personally, I know how much I utterly detest smoking, and a smoker wouldn't get a brief moment of my time.

...you're dating him because?
 
myronnie said:
I don't smoke, and i have asthma..If I'm around someone who's smoking it's fine for the first 5 minutes but after that my chest tightens up and pretty much my whole night is ruined. My throat even starts to hurt if it's been a prolonged period of time. :ohwell:

What are your ladies opinions on dating a smoker?
I'm dating one right now. He's been smoking for 2 years and HE'S SO (*&#&*( MESSY. He uses the cupholders in his truck for ashtrays. He dosen't have a mint after he smokes. He doesn't wash his hands after a smoke. He doesn't use cologne or febreeze.
Ugh.

We had a little fight today. When I got home from his house I smelled rank like smoke. I'm the type of person to like to dress nice and have my hair done and smoke just ruins it I think. I told him that he should think of other people's feelings a little more and he got mad and said that well maybe it's kind of a bad thing for us to be together health-wise. And he was mad and went to bed because he thought I was calling him inconsiderate.
Sigh.
It would be nice if he didn't smoke with me in a small confined space (ie his truck or the room (YES THE ROOM IN HIS HOUSE)). He said that he would smoke outside from now on but ugh. I guess I'm just still grossed out by today. IDK. He's an awesome guy but idk how long it's gonna last with him doing this mess. He told me that i was being nit-picky but i'm sorry but NO OTHER PERSON WOULD LET THIS MESS SLIDE. I'm just standing up for myself.
Click to expand...


I'm sorry to post again, but there are plenty of awesome guys that don't smoke. Instead of trying to change THAT man (who obviously doesn't want to quit), how about changing men? Gross!!!
 
hopeful said:
I think it's unfair of you to go at him about the smoking when you knew he was a smoker. How on earth do you kiss him when he's not trying to brush teeth and rinse with scope after smoking? I don't understand how you two got past the first date.
Click to expand...
The kisses are always pecks... :ohwell:
 
TinyBlu said:
If people show you who they really are... believe them.

Personally, I know how much I utterly detest smoking, and a smoker wouldn't get a brief moment of my time.

...you're dating him because?
Click to expand...
There's really little to no incentive to staying with him..he's a nice guy BUT I honestly don't want to stay with him any longer.
 
myronnie said:
Yup hes been smoking from before we got together. Im slightly ok with the smoke but his hygiene bothers me the most!
Click to expand...

myronnie said:
Bahahaha. No. he has cut down alot but quit? Not at this point. He buys cigs by the carton..i would say he smokes a pack a day

Sent from my LS670 using Long Hair Care Forum App
Click to expand...

I can't believe that you as a nonsmoker even considered dating a man who smokes. Plus he was smoking when you got with him. SMH
 
hopeful said:
I think it's unfair of you to go at him about the smoking when you knew he was a smoker. How on earth do you kiss him when he's not trying to brush teeth and rinse with scope after smoking? I don't understand how you two got past the first date.
Click to expand...

Ehh I would get into the details but JEEEZ yall are harsh sometimes :perplexed.
ALOT of people my age smoke now. It's kinda sad..yes we're adults and we are stressed alot but there are other ways to deal with stress other than smoke and slowly kill yourself!
 
myronnie said:
Ehh I would get into the details but JEEEZ yall are harsh sometimes :perplexed.
ALOT of people my age smoke now. It's kinda sad..yes we're adults and we are stressed alot but there are other ways to deal with stress other than smoke and slowly kill yourself!
Click to expand...

You think this is harsh? I actually think folks are being pretty nice, considering this really is a no-brainer.
 
myronnie said:
Ehh I would get into the details but JEEEZ yall are harsh sometimes :perplexed.
ALOT of people my age smoke now. It's kinda sad..yes we're adults and we are stressed alot but there are other ways to deal with stress other than smoke and slowly kill yourself!
Click to expand...

I hope you didn't think I was being harsh in particular but are moreso talking about LHCF in general. I was under the impression that smoking was on the decline so what you are saying is surprising to me. When I was a teenager and in my 20's none of my friends smoked. And now that I'm in my 40's I still have no friends who smoke. So I assumed that it would be easy to steer clear of smokers. I don't have asthma but the smell of smoke makes me naseaus. I hate the smell of it. You could die from being around a smoker, not just get sick to the stomach--that is why I think we are so surprised that you'd give this guy the time of day. We weren't trying to be harsh, just trying to get you to see that you can't risk your health for a guy. I am saddened that smoking may be on the rise--one of the most dangerous and offensive habits.
 
I think it's really inconsiderate of him to smoke around you. You can't control having asthma, he can control where he smokes. The very least he could do is go outside to smoke, even if it is at his house or in his truck.

IDK how long you've been dating but does this man care about you at all? Why would he want to cause someone he cares about to be in pain or potentially have an asthma attack? Basically he can't be inconvenienced for 5 minutes to be considerate about your health. If he can't be considerate about smoking what else is he going to be completely selfish about?

I'd drop him for that reason and because I think smoking is disgusting and stupid.
 
You need to date a non-smoker and he needs to date a smoker.

You're disgusted by his smoking and nasty habits surrounding his smoking and he's disgusted about your attitude about his smoking.

There are great guys who don't smoke :yep:
 
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