Dating a guy when you are so socio economically disparate...

[calmsensual1]

If you're dating a guy, he pays, you don't. Later on, on a special ocassion like his bday you can pay. If you're both young broke college students, then of course I wouldn't expect him to take you to a five star restaurant so even if it's a burger joint-he needs to pay. Find cheap and "income friendly things to do" When I met my dh, I knew his money was thin but it never showed in him dating me. We went the dollar movies or matinees but he always paid.

We all have our own "rules."

Reciprocation is one of mine.

Like I said though, I don't always offer to pay. It's actually pretty seldom. But it does happen more often than a special occassion though.

 

[Zaynab]

We all have our own "rules."

Reciprocation is one of mine.

Like I said though, I don't always offer to pay. It's actually pretty seldom. But it does happen more often than a special occassion though.

It's not a personal rule, it should be globally known by men and expected by women You seem like you're a younger girl so I was just giving you some advice as an older woman. I just don't want anyone to set up a "recipriocity" thing that continues, grows larger and becomes what alot of women have or are struggling with and that's men who do not know what is expected of them as men. "Reciprocity" now never turns into what you think it will when the person later has more resources.

 

[calmsensual1]

Trust me, the man im dating now knows exactly what's expected of him as a man.
If he didn't, I wouldn't be messing with him.
With that said, he's never accepted any of my offers.

But really, this is deeper than just offering to pay for some BS like a meal or a movie. It's about comfort with me. Knowing that I can help out if I wanted to. And right now, I just can't.

What's the saying, "how can you expect someone else to do something for you that you cant even do for yourself?" That's the logic Im going for.

Also, Ive never been this broke before. Maybe I just need to get used to it. Until i graduate anyway lol.

 

[lexi08]

Trust me, the man im dating now knows exactly what's



What's the saying, "how can you expect someone else to do something for you that you cant even do for yourself?" That's the logic Im going for.





I am quite a bit older also and I would not necessarily subscribe to that way of thinking when it comes to men. It can lead to problems down the road IMO. I don't think you need to worry so much about what you can't do/pay for in comparison to a man.

 

[hopeful]

Trust me, the man im dating now knows exactly what's expected of him as a man.
If he didn't, I wouldn't be messing with him.
With that said, he's never accepted any of my offers.

But really, this is deeper than just offering to pay for some BS like a meal or a movie. It's about comfort with me. Knowing that I can help out if I wanted to. And right now, I just can't.

What's the saying, "how can you expect someone else to do something for you that you cant even do for yourself?" That's the logic Im going for.

Also, Ive never been this broke before. Maybe I just need to get used to it. Until i graduate anyway lol.

I don't subscribe to your line of thinking but I respect you for having your own "rules" and sticking to them. You have to do what makes you feel comfortable.

 

[metro_qt]

It's not a personal rule, it should be globally known by men and expected by women You seem like you're a younger girl so I was just giving you some advice as an older woman. I just don't want anyone to set up a "recipriocity" thing that continues, grows larger and becomes what alot of women have or are struggling with and that's men who do not know what is expected of them as men. "Reciprocity" now never turns into what you think it will when the person later has more resources.

Preach!
the older you get, the more you have to remember and enforce this way of thinking. Chivalry and Gentlemanliness do exist. Expect the best from a man, then you can give the best of yourself.

 

[calmsensual1]

I don't subscribe to your line of thinking but I respect you for having your own "rules" and sticking to them. You have to do what makes you feel comfortable.

im glad we can agree to disagree

and to zayna...i totally agree with what you said. The man should be the provider. There's no ifs, ands, or buts about that!

And as a sidenote, the way I operate has never given me problems. The standards I set for men are extremely high but I hold myself to a high regard also. Men still have to prove themselves to me, just not in a monetary way. Because most of the men I date have promising futures anyway.

Long as he and his credit score aint habitually broken, then we're cool.

 

[Theo]

Most of the highly educated guys I know are also looking for highly educated women... or at the very least somewhat educated. I see black women dating "down" more often than I see black men doing it. Like I might see a dude with a doctorate date a women with a bachelor's or master's... but that's about it.

Either way, I opened my mind to dating dude who made less than me a long time ago. I would be severely limiting myself if I didn't.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

Bunny and Kayte: you ladies are so wise!!

 

[Country gal]

I get tired of dating potential. I also don't want to be with a guy that economically suits me but he is lacking in other catergories. Ideally I would want to have a financial stable man who loves me to pieces.