"So when are you gonna wear your REAL hair??" hater speak or actual...concern!?

SAME THING...and Who CARES???? Mind your own business, and stop trying to save rude people!:ohwell:

DanceOnTheSkylines said:
She didn't say it doesn't matter if you agree, she said it doesn't matter if you UNDERSTAND.

Her whole point wasn't that your opinion doesn't matter, or that anybody's opinion doesn't matter, but that despite our "opinions" we should still give people respect. I can understand where you were coming from-why grow your hair long if u never wear it out? But I don't think that's what most of the ladies here (or the OP) are trying to accomplish. They're covering their hair so that it CAN be long, and WHEN it is long they will wear it and flaunt it.

I know, also, that there are women who just back-to-back weave because they have no knowledge of their hair, are lazy and don't take care of it while in the PS, or are self-conscious and have low self esteem so they weave/get extensions. I'm sure you're a fairly respectful person, and though u may ask a person "Why do you do this?" or "Why do you do that?" unless it's something you know will harm them (like drugs or something) then there's no reason to nag them about it the way OP's uncle is always doing. What does her hair have to do with HIM? Does HE pay for her to go to the salon. No, therefore it is none of his business. Even though he doesn't UNDERSTAND why she's always covering her hair he should respect her decision since it isn't necessarily doing her any harm.
Click to expand...
 
Sometimes a good "Because I want to" is in order. He doesn't want to learn, he wants to share his opinion with you. Don't taKe him too seriously. Everyone has opinions. Some of us share them on this forum quite often. They're just opinions. We still do what we want. Next time you see him (next year?) and he starts in on you, tell him he already told you LAST time. No one wants to sound like a broken record.
 
Wow. After a while - these same people will be asking for hair tips....
Keep that in mind....

That is what happens to me now =)
:yawn:
 
Lucky's Mom said:
Wow. After a while - these same people will be asking for hair tips....
Keep that in mind....

That is what happens to me now =)
:yawn:
Click to expand...

Haha can't wait for that day!!:yep: I think mbl is the universally accepted long hair length that awes all!! And yep your hair is drop dead! Heck, I wanna ask what you did to your hair! :grin:
 
maybe its my upbringing/background/religion but it sounds creepy to me that you have an old man ragging you about your hair and putting his hands in it. kind of made me cringe reading your post. but honestly you are an adult at 23 and you families politics shouldnt have anything to do with you. i would tell him to step the uckf back and keep it moving because it seems like this makes you uncomfortable since you even wrote a post about it. you arent 7 yrs old and you dont have to take some creepy crap from anyone.
 
Yes! One aunt in particular that I see, like, twice a year. The brash one that makes me wonder. I couldn't say anything before b/c of the whole "respect your elders" thing (but at some point, you can excuse yourself). I'm 26 now, so I basically told them that we have new rules now: you get what you give.

In the meantime, I'd quietly excuse yourself or ask him if you could discuss the matter in a year or two, after you're done with protective styling.

ETA: My aunt who does this is a lawyer, too! Oh, lawd! Is it a personality type? I dare not tell her to send me a check so I can get my hair did and wear it out before our next visit.

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2
 
EtherealEnigma said:
Yes! One aunt in particular that I see, like, twice a year. The brash one that makes me wonder. I couldn't say anything before b/c of the whole "respect your elders" thing (but at some point, you can excuse yourself). I'm 26 now, so I basically told them that we have new rules now: you get what you give.

In the meantime, I'd quietly excuse yourself or ask him if you could discuss the matter in a year or two, after you're done with protective styling.

ETA: My aunt who does this is a lawyer, too! Oh, lawd! Is it a personality type? I dare not tell her to send me a check so I can get my hair did and wear it out before our next visit.

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2
Click to expand...

LOL!!!! And she's a lawyer!? Aw hayle! Maybe we just lucky to have two snoopy lawyers in the fambam! :lachen:

Respect is damn hard to give when it's to a meddling older family member :spinning:

Hey! That sounds like a good thing to say, 'Want to discuss this in a year or two when I have long, fabulous hair?' :lachen:
 
*CherryPie* said:
I think he's just curious as to why you never wear your real hair...and I understand it. Some people protective style every day, and never wear their own hair. It makes no sense to me either. You're doing all of this to get healthy hair, but you're never gonna wear it?
Click to expand...
^^
THIS all day everyday.
It ain't like the **** is gonna melt off your head if it sees the light of day every three months or so lolz.
I'd be bugging the hell out of some of y'all too. lolz.
 
Rocky91 said:
^^
THIS all day everyday.
It ain't like the **** is gonna melt off your head if it sees the light of day every three months or so lolz.
I'd be bugging the hell out of some of y'all too. lolz.
Click to expand...



I understand both perspectives and I used to get pressure from "friends" to wear my hair out more often. I used to be a hardcore protective styler with braid extensions. My hair would grow to a good length and I would relax it or when I was natural, hot comb it. After going through that cycle several times, I no longer consider braid extensions a real protective style (for myself) because I wasn't learning how to deal with my hair while it was braided up. So when I took it down I would try a few good products/techniques/reggies and always wound up going wrong somewhere. For myself personally, I need a protective style that allows me to wash/co wash and condition my own hair during the week and I need to know how my hair is responding. This process of letting my hair "rest" while in braids and then working with my hair when it's at a desired length proves fruitless for me. There is really something to it when people say, "You wouldn't even know what do to with all of that hair." :yep:
 
I find that most men just do not like anything that is not real hair. I don't think it is "hater speak". I really wish that word would be retired already! But seriously, I don't think that he thinks he is doing any harm. Unfortunately, people wear so many bad weaves and wigs that it really does give fake hair options a bad name and image.

I would just tell him that you appreciate his advice and opinion; however, you are going to wear your hair the way that you like. I would ask him to respect you as you respect him. Your responses and body language may not be accurately portraying how you really feel about his comments. I hope the best for you.
 
All the differing advice is interesting! The saying goes 'don't bite the hand that feeds you' and if braids have grown my hair, then I'd be dumb to just stop what works! :ohwell:

Also college was insane, so it gave me more time to focus on books and school and less time on worrying what my hair looked like. :yep:

Lol and I can't/won't stop saying 'hater' like I can't stop saying 'dude' it's apart of Calispeak :lachen:

But once I make it to mbl I'll wear my hair out and care good care of it with the LHCF as the backbone to my process. :yep:
 
I'll never understand why anyone would make it their business to be concerned about WHAT *I* choose to do or NOT do to *MY* hair. OP, while I am BIG on respect...especially when it comes to elder family memebers, I say JUST enough so it is KNOWN you will NOT talk to me crazy. I'm sorry---folk feeling they are entitled to AUTOMATIC respect tends to rub me the wrong way. And over some hair?? MY HAIR?? No...not today.

The SAME people who had/have SO much to say about me putting in weave/braids ...are the SAME people asking me how I grew my hair out. Uhmmmmm by the same method you ridiculed me for kind sir/m'am.

At the end of the day, just do what *YOU* know is good for *YOUR* hair...and if that is protective styling, then so be it. There are bigger things to worry about than your braids.

~S~

ETA:: Also, not sure the poster who made mention of this, but it IS ABSOLUTELY a mindset that says hair has to be OUT in order to be enjoyed.
 
This reminds me of a guy at my place of worship who keep asking me when I was going to finish college. I mean he wasn't even a member of the family, a member of the congregation yes, family, NO. Honey when I graduated he said bout time and never mentioned it again. Some people have to talk to you about what they know about you. Your Uncle knows ya hair is ya thing that you are working on. It's not hidden and he knows it can possibly get a dialog going. Don't get annoyed let him know before hand how ya hair is THRIVING. And then talk about President Obama, the weather, his new car or something else you think he may be interested in. When all else fails gracefully bow out. I don't belive in letting something know they are getting the F@&^ on my nerves. To me it shows more power to walk away.
 
Shananyganz said:
I'll never understand why anyone would make it their business to be concerned about WHAT *I* choose to do or NOT do to *MY* hair. OP, while I am BIG on respect...especially when it comes to elder family memebers, I say JUST enough so it is KNOWN you will NOT talk to me crazy. I'm sorry---folk feeling they are entitled to AUTOMATIC respect tends to rub me the wrong way. And over some hair?? MY HAIR?? No...not today.

The SAME people who had/have SO much to say about me putting in weave/braids ...are the SAME people asking me how I grew my hair out. Uhmmmmm by the same method you ridiculed me for kind sir/m'am.

At the end of the day, just do what *YOU* know is good for *YOUR* hair...and if that is protective styling, then so be it. There are bigger things to worry about than your braids.

~S~

ETA:: Also, not sure the poster who made mention of this, but it IS ABSOLUTELY a mindset that says hair has to be OUT in order to be enjoyed.
Click to expand...

:lachen: LOL!! That's how I feel. We could talk about sports, politics, my love life, anything, but he wants to tell me how to do me...Maybe if I gave me check to do my hair then I'd consider, :lachen:

'Your hair was so pretty straight' But then it falling out and damaged! daymn!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

V
When is it time to wear your hair out?
Replies
16
Views
2K
hopeful
hopeful
H
How do you wear your hair day to day?
2
Replies
36
Views
3K
soulchild
soulchild
RngdeCurls
Protective Bunning Concern
2
Replies
30
Views
7K
PinkSunshine77
PinkSunshine77
Hidden_Angel
I learned TWO new things about my hair!(what have you learned this year?)
Replies
11
Views
1K
gymfreak336
gymfreak336
L
For the ladies who don't wear wigs, weaves or braided extensions....
2 3
Replies
65
Views
9K
tiffjust2002
T
Back
Top