Dating a guy when you are so socio economically disparate...
- Thread starter vevster
- Start date
vevster
Well-Known Member
Nope.
Good for you!!!
calmsensual1
New Member
girl, im there right now!
im bout to say *** this, go back home (im a college student) and get my hustle on. I cant even afford to buy us a meal at mcdonalds.
im bout to say *** this, go back home (im a college student) and get my hustle on. I cant even afford to buy us a meal at mcdonalds.
In your case, no.
But if it's switched the other way, I don't have a problem.
"Disparateness" (?) in the other direction fits the societal norm better, and men enjoy that role, so why not?
I feel like a hypocrite, though.
... still thinking.
If there is an emotional disparateness or a maturity-level disparateness between the two of them, then that needs to be made clear and all the ramifications should be known before the clank-clank, but as long as the party on the positive end knows what they're getting into, it's on them.
But when it's socioeconomic, with the male on the negative side, I have this bias that many men in this situation are just slackers, excuse-makers and trying to avoid work. Can't do it.
If there is an emotional disparateness or a maturity-level disparateness between the two of them, then that needs to be made clear and all the ramifications should be known before the clank-clank, but as long as the party on the positive end knows what they're getting into, it's on them.
But when it's socioeconomic, with the male on the negative side, I have this bias that many men in this situation are just slackers, excuse-makers and trying to avoid work. Can't do it.
Bunny77
New Member
Yes, I'm with Fluffy and Vevster.
I don't feel the need to have the same amount of money as a man who is pursuing me, nor have I ever lost respect for myself while a man wined and dined me when I was on a lower economic (not socioeconomic) level.
There is a BIG difference to me in a woman having less and a man providing for her, than vice-versa. I definitely don't feel like a hypocrite for thinking that either!
Today, I'm doing alright financially and my educational level is up there. I'm looking for a man at least my equal.
I don't feel the need to have the same amount of money as a man who is pursuing me, nor have I ever lost respect for myself while a man wined and dined me when I was on a lower economic (not socioeconomic) level.
There is a BIG difference to me in a woman having less and a man providing for her, than vice-versa. I definitely don't feel like a hypocrite for thinking that either!
Today, I'm doing alright financially and my educational level is up there. I'm looking for a man at least my equal.
Bunny77
New Member
Wait wait wait... what you mean by "us?"
sky_blu
Well-Known Member
It's really irrelevant as far Im concerned as long as he's not trying to stay there. I hate people who are stagnant. 
I think it is hypocritical for a female to want a men to have this and that and they are not their themselves. Don't know how many times I see females catching the bus, working at McDonalds, barely a HS diploma and they want someone with a Mercedes and a corporate job to take care of them. You should find someone on your level or on the pursuit to get there and grow.
I think it is hypocritical for a female to want a men to have this and that and they are not their themselves. Don't know how many times I see females catching the bus, working at McDonalds, barely a HS diploma and they want someone with a Mercedes and a corporate job to take care of them. You should find someone on your level or on the pursuit to get there and grow.
Bunny77
New Member
It's really irrelevant as far Im concerned as long as he's not trying to stay there. I hate people who are stagnant.
Well I definitely think those types of women are delusional!
I do see a difference between those types, and say, a woman who is a secretary at a company who ends up with one of the corporate men there. Which happens a lot... but the secretary obviously had to be skilled at her tasks to get into that position in the first place to be in the vicinity of upper-level dudes.
The project chick with zero skills at McD's usually wouldn't be in that position.
In general, I do agree with women needing to pursue educational and career goals instead of expecting a man to take care of them. But I think a woman who is a teacher, for example, who dates a CEO isn't doing anything particularly out of her league.
BrooklynSouth
New Member
Yes. Did not work out, not because of the economics-he was very generous with his salary so it didn't affect our casual dates. Educational differences and his lack of interest in cultural pursuits did us in.
naturalmanenyc
Well-Known Member
So long as both parties have aspirations, then I see no problem with people dating men/women who are not on the same level with education/finances.
Also, there is nothing wrong with working at McDonald's (or Wendys', Burger King etc.) so long as your aspiration is to not always be on fries. I do not know if Jan Fields started on fries but in 30+ years she sure worked her way up from a teen crew person in the restaurant.
Jan Fields is Executive Vice President and Chief Operating Officer
EVP and COO
McDonald's USA, McDonald's (MCD)
2007 rank: 48
Age: 53
McDonald's stock just keeps climbing, up 15% over the past 12 months. A 30-year McDonald's veteran and a recent appointee to the Monsanto board, Fields oversees operations for all 14,000 U.S. stores. She's implementing the largest expansion of the menu in 30 years and has seen early success with McDonald's range of coffee drinks.
http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2008/fortune/0809/gallery.women_mostpowerful.fortune/36.html
Also, there is nothing wrong with working at McDonald's (or Wendys', Burger King etc.) so long as your aspiration is to not always be on fries. I do not know if Jan Fields started on fries but in 30+ years she sure worked her way up from a teen crew person in the restaurant.
Jan Fields is Executive Vice President and Chief Operating Officer
EVP and COO
McDonald's USA, McDonald's (MCD)
2007 rank: 48
Age: 53
McDonald's stock just keeps climbing, up 15% over the past 12 months. A 30-year McDonald's veteran and a recent appointee to the Monsanto board, Fields oversees operations for all 14,000 U.S. stores. She's implementing the largest expansion of the menu in 30 years and has seen early success with McDonald's range of coffee drinks.
http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2008/fortune/0809/gallery.women_mostpowerful.fortune/36.html
It's really irrelevant as far Im concerned as long as he's not trying to stay there. I hate people who are stagnant.
kayte
Well-Known Member
I'm struggling with this right now ..vev...
and wondering about it this morning ...it's the economic part....
There is an amazing beautiful man and it is potentially serious..
it feels like it could be..we're kind of acknowledging it
he's an artist with an advanced degree from Columbia....
and he was also in their phd literature program..but left because
of dissastifaction w/the dept
he's published ..erudite...impressive background....all of it..... except the $$$ is not where it should be
though he IS making changes ...due to my suggestions
...like you ought be teaching at the New School or NYU...
or a teaching fellowship at ..etc etc ...
see...I hear/co-sign w/Skyblu....he's definitely not stagnant ..oh no far from it
he's obesessive about his career..I mean that
I do think he could have a major amazing career in his field.
but it's not there today...
I am backing away..a little
I can feel it
but I should listen to the above
and wondering about it this morning ...it's the economic part....
There is an amazing beautiful man and it is potentially serious..
it feels like it could be..we're kind of acknowledging it
he's an artist with an advanced degree from Columbia....
and he was also in their phd literature program..but left because
of dissastifaction w/the dept
he's published ..erudite...impressive background....all of it..... except the $$$ is not where it should be
though he IS making changes ...due to my suggestions
...like you ought be teaching at the New School or NYU...
or a teaching fellowship at ..etc etc ...
see...I hear/co-sign w/Skyblu....he's definitely not stagnant ..oh no far from it
he's obesessive about his career..I mean that
I do think he could have a major amazing career in his field.
but it's not there today...
I am backing away..a little
I can feel it
money IS an issue for me
but I should listen to the above
Last edited:
vevster
Well-Known Member
I was going to PM you about something else, Kayte. Thanks for contributing to my thread. Good luck == whatever you decide.
naturalmanenyc
Well-Known Member
Working at McDonald's is working for McDonald's? If you mean working on the corporate side versus in the restaurant, those people work for and also at McDonald's since they are required to be in the field - in the restaurants.
Many corporate people at McDonald's that are making millions started out flipping burgers in the stores. The company is known for that, in fact.
This is not directed at anyone in particular. It's just that I really hate to hear people say things like a person will end up working at McDonald's if they drop out of school or some other negative statement as if working for a fastfood company is the worst job in the world. My old minister says this to this day and it's just annoying. My sister has been with Wendy's for many years (general manager) and she makes a great living.
McDonald's is one of the few companies that are still making money in this economy.
Many corporate people at McDonald's that are making millions started out flipping burgers in the stores. The company is known for that, in fact.
This is not directed at anyone in particular. It's just that I really hate to hear people say things like a person will end up working at McDonald's if they drop out of school or some other negative statement as if working for a fastfood company is the worst job in the world. My old minister says this to this day and it's just annoying. My sister has been with Wendy's for many years (general manager) and she makes a great living.
McDonald's is one of the few companies that are still making money in this economy.
Last edited:
sky_blu
Well-Known Member
Yeah Im not talking about the EVPs and COOs. Im talking about the ones flipping the burgers and changing the grease for the fries
Those are the McD workers I know.
kismettt
Well-Known Member
my mom told me to never date a man with less education (if i have a bachelors, he should have one.)
all of the guys i have dated have had (or come from) less money then me. (they are all black to but my so gets annoyed when i point this out
)
i'm still in college, so i'm not terribly worried because i have only dated guys who are also current college students.
once i graduate and get a 'real' job, it may become a greater concern
all of the guys i have dated have had (or come from) less money then me. (they are all black to but my so gets annoyed when i point this out
)i'm still in college, so i'm not terribly worried because i have only dated guys who are also current college students.
once i graduate and get a 'real' job, it may become a greater concern
calmsensual1
New Member
I dont mean "us" as in we're together.
I just mean "us" as in someone im seriously dating right now, but we're not together. We go out sometimes and I literally can't afford anything. Sometimes the LEAST i do is offer to pay if im dating someone; but I can't even afford to do that right now. What if he needs the $$? Then I'm assed out...like "umm PSYCHE!...i aint even got the money right now"
Bunny77
New Member
Thanks for answering!
I was just hoping that you weren't carrying the load for some dude.
You're in college right? Everyone's broke in college... but whomever you're dating should be trying to find cheap and free options for you all to do. If he wants to date you, he should find a way... young men have been broke since the beginning of time, but they found ways to court women on limited budgets.
I wouldn't be so concerned if I were you about your lack of funds... and you should rarely offer to pay, in my opinion... and only if it's your boyfriend and y'all are exclusive and he's shown that he's willing to do his part.
P.S.: I don't think that the least you should offer to do is pay on a date... that should be the MOST you offer to do... and rarely at that...
Last edited:
calmsensual1
New Member
Thanks for answering!
I was just hoping that you weren't carrying the load for some dude.
You're in college right? Everyone's broke in college... but whomever you're dating should be trying to find cheap and free options for you all to do. If he wants to date you, he should find a way... young men have been broke since the beginning of time, but they found ways to court women on limited budgets.
I wouldn't be so concerned if I were you about your lack of funds... and you should rarely offer to pay, in my opinion... and only if it's your boyfriend and y'all are exclusive and he's shown that he's willing to do his part.
P.S.: I don't think that the least you should offer to do is pay on a date... that should be the MOST you offer to do... and rarely at that...
Yes, we're both in college.
And no I dont go around on every single date offering to pay. It's just something that i do every once in a while. Hell, sometimes (not lately, though) I'll even pay for things.
Personally, if im interested in the guy then I'll pay every once in awhile. And I dont mind it. But thats just me though
cheetarah1980
Well-Known Member
I can't date a man from a disparate socio-economic background. To me, socio-economic status is about a whole lot more than just money. It's about values, norms, lifestyle, etc. I don't see myself with Prince William (although he is type fine) any more than I see myself with Harold the Garbage Man.
That being said, I will be with a man who makes less money than I do under two conditions:
1) he makes enough to support a family and is responsible with his income
2) he is equally educated as I am
That being said, I will be with a man who makes less money than I do under two conditions:
1) he makes enough to support a family and is responsible with his income
2) he is equally educated as I am
If you're dating a guy, he pays, you don't. Later on, on a special ocassion like his bday you can pay. If you're both young broke college students, then of course I wouldn't expect him to take you to a five star restaurant so even if it's a burger joint-he needs to pay. Find cheap and "income friendly things to do" When I met my dh, I knew his money was thin
but it never showed in him dating me. We went the dollar movies or matinees but he always paid.
SparkleDoll
New Member
It's really irrelevant as far Im concerned as long as he's not trying to stay there. I hate people who are stagnant.
But it happens everyday. I've seen situations where a gorgeous woman with only a high school diploma and a couple years of college working at Macy's marries the wealthy highly educated man.
Or the hairstylists that marries the attorney.
Most of the men I know with money are not with women with money.
If the woman is physically beautiful, nice body, intelligent, and easy to get along with....she will not have hard time meeting a successful man. Men with money are not that deep.
Similar threads
