CurlyNikki Responds

[felic1]

I cannot consider Sarah as part of our natural hair movement. She will not experience hiring discrimination because her hair is not straight. There are a lot of us that wear their hair straight or relaxed. I am not rejecting my relaxed sisters. Sarah is not a person with styling and length retention needs. She is not a part of us. I have looked at some of the more basically white hair blogs/sites. They are not really suitable for the needs of my hair type. I sort of get the impression that CN featuring her is a way to broaden or apply cross over techniques to expand her site. I am not trying to be ugly. The black community is experiencing cohesiveness via natural hair care. It is a good thing. For a caucasian person to indicate that she is natural also does not make her part of our group. She is not of african descent living in a culture that does not accept or celebrate our difference. If CN believes that she has disappearing ends, dry hair like ours, with breakage issues like ours, and any of our other needs she is mistaken. CN can cross over. I have already determined that caucasian based sites cannot help me.

 

[Froreal3]

Ok I did read it.

First of all, if someone respects a "movement," they don't necessarily have to be a part. You don't have to usurp and insert yourself into everything just because you can kind of relate. That is the point that many of us were making.

I am all for stylists and people of all colors appreciating and learning to do kinky/coily and kinky/curly hair. However, that doesn't mean that it is ok to dubiously proclaim that you are part of the natural hair movement. It means something totally different for us. Please. This is the most ludicrous claim about this movement that I have ever heard.

Nikki is wrong by saying that in order to be fully accepted, we need to let others insert themselves into our spaces and it's necessary to expand our movement to include people who it was never for. This just dilutes the premises and ideologies upon which this movement was built. This movement was founded due to the systematic oppression, humiliation, and degradation that black men and women have faced/are facing across the globe.

Now we want to expand it to include anyone who got called names due to having some poofy (albeit long) hair that they could easily put into a bun? They want to expand it to include people who never struggled with growing their hair due to never having the products and techniques? Our traditional combs and other hair grooming tools and techniques were taken away from us and we never had a chance to learn about our hair. Hello? Pickaninnys anyone?

We are just now...just freakin now after hundreds of years of oppression...seeing the light and learning ourselves. Yes, "natural hair" has been around for years waterlilly....YOUR natural hair...not ours. The mere fact that we have to even say "natural hair" and differentiate it from permed hair says a crap ton about our situation that you/they clearly don't understand.

Sorry Nikki, I don't agree. Waterlilly and others like her can accept our movement by simply accepting it. They can cheer from the sidelines and they can even relate to the struggle if they've dealt with their own identity issues, negative self concepts, and unrealistic standards of beauty. I get it. We can ALL relate.

However, that does not mean that they have to insert themselves and act like they are part of it in order for the movement to be accepted. Like a pp said, this movement is the way it is because WE made it...we created it because there was/is a desperate need. To include people who honestly have nothing to do with it will only diminish the true meaning of it. It actually doesn't even make sense. I'm confused as to what natural white women with curly hair going are back to? erplexed

Nobody is saying that they can't/shouldn't read black hair blogs or share tips. That is what women do and that's fine. I'm just saying please do not insert yourself under the context of #natural hair when you know good and got-damned well that that is not nor has ever been your experience.

Stop appropriating our ish. Just respect it and accept it! There is a difference.

 

[Foxglove]

Sure looks like it.

ETA: She should have just stopped right here in her reply without dragging poor Kermit into it:


Spilling that so called Ebony tea has nothing to do with the controversy at hand. I hate that she ignored addressing Waterlily's troll tactics.

She did that on purpose. She knew what she was doing. Hope she enjoys her new readers. Hope it was worth alienating the base that got her where she is in the first place

 

[Froreal3]

Reminds me of the scene from Malcolm X in which the white girl asks what she can do

http://www.zimbio.com/watch/69A0K0b1ubm/Malcolm+X+Nothing/Malcolm+X

"Whites can help us, but they can't join us. There can be no black/white unity, until there is first some black unity." - Malcolm X.

 

[MzRhonda]

Well said Froreal3

 

[Froreal3]

Furthermore, Nikki can have all the seats in the world for acting brand a.ss new. Why did she create Curly Nikki in the first place? She could have stayed her butt right on NC. Why separate??? What was the initial need to do that? Don't we all have curly hair?

I'm looking at you like

 

[shelli4018]

I genuinely don't see what the big deal is. I saw the article and threads about it. But the subject matter didn't appeal to me so I kept it moving. Why we're giving it so much attention (and clicks) boggles my mind. There are a 1001 things we could be discussing besides a curly headed white woman on a curly hair site. I know several of you will disagree.....but this mess right here is a non-MF factor.

I like Nikki and will continue to support her.

 

[Seraphina]

The second half about the volunteering was deflecting and had nothing to do with this. The second half should have addressed Sarah's attitude and the way she belittled Nikki's own subscribers.

And it was poor deflecting. If she was going to change the subject, you'd think that she would've tried to make it smoother.

I was actually ready to give Nikki a pass on the feature itself, but after reading what the girl said, I saw how ridiculous it was. I can't be mad at her readers for feeling some kinda way about seeing this girl come on just to say that all she does is slap some gel on her head and call it a day. That's not helpful and her readers are not learning anything.

To me this is like group A discussing their severe acne problems and person B comes in, tells the story of when she had a pimple once, how it was gone the next day and then walking out.

 

[charmtreese]

To me this is like group A discussing their severe acne problems and person B comes in, tells the story of when she had a pimple once, how it was gone the next day and then walking out.

Now that was funny!

 

[JulietWhiskey]

This thread saddens me.

Wait a minute.

DDTexlaxed

THIS thread saddens you?

This thread---the one in which the majority of (black) women are clearly not here for the appropriation of our Natural Hair movement by a woman who's "journey" ended when she (literally) let her hair down?

This thread---the one in which the majority of (black) women are not giving Curly Nikki or Felicity lol passes for their trolling, self-promotion, and willful ignorance of what the real issues are.

So, THIS is the thread that saddens you, not Miss Lily's (oh, the irony) ignorant responses to folk trying to explain to her that while it may have been a difficult, painful struggle for her to wear her curly hair in a bun during her adolescence and finally learn to accept her silky curls, this doesn't mean she's entitled to sit with us---and by "us" I mean the black women in the military who are PUTTING THEIR LIVES ON THE LINE EVERY DAY IN SERVICE TO THIS RACIST, UNGRATEFUL COUNTRY, who can't even wear their hair in braids, dreds, twist-outs, twists or puffs because it's "unprofessional" and looks "dirty."

So, it's not any of these things.

It's THIS thread. This thread of black women NOT HAVING IT.

Ok, sis.

Keep on with the caping. I see you.

.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Wait a minute.

@DDTexlaxed

THIS thread saddens you?

This thread---the one in which the majority of (black) women are clearly not here for the appropriation of our Natural Hair movement by a woman who's "journey" ended when she (literally) let her hair down?

This thread---the one in which the majority of (black) women are not giving Curly Nikki or Felicity lol passes for their trolling, self-promotion, and willful ignorance of what the real issues are.

So, THIS is the thread that saddens you, not Miss Lily's (oh, the irony) ignorant responses to folk trying to explain to her that while it may have been a difficult, painful struggle for her to wear her curly hair in a bun during her adolescence and finally learn to accept her silky curls, this doesn't mean she's entitled to sit with us---and by "us" I mean the black women in the military who are PUTTING THEIR LIVES ON THE LINE EVERY DAY IN SERVICE TO THIS RACIST, UNGRATEFUL COUNTRY, who can't even wear their hair in braids, dreds, twist-outs, twists or puffs because it's "unprofessional" and looks "dirty."

So, it's not any of these things.

It's THIS thread. This thread of black women NOT HAVING IT.

Ok, sis.

Keep on with the caping. I see you.

.

It saddens me because you're judgmental about others. Sorry, but everything you said is not the truth about me. I'm saddened because it seems like every time someone has a different opinion, folks got to always be on blast. I'm so tired of the new spirit on this board. LHCF used to be about embracing our diverse cultures and textures. I have family members who have natural hair and they are white, spanish, and indian. They are also lurkers on this site. So not everyone here is drinking the tea you're drinking. You and I should agree to disagree with the politics and without shade throwing.

 

[JulietWhiskey]

It saddens me because you're judgmental about others. Sorry, but everything you said is not the truth about me. I'm saddened because it seems like every time someone has a different opinion, folks got to always be on blast. I'm so tired of the new spirit on this board. LHCF used to be about embracing our diverse cultures and textures. I have family members who have natural hair and they are white, spanish, and indian. They are also lurkers on this site. So not everyone here is drinking the tea you're drinking. You and I should agree to disagree with the politics and without shade throwing.

@DDTexlaxed

But yet, you still didn't address any of the questions I asked in my post but, ok.

And it sounds like you're trying to shame posters who aren't co-signing with Curly Nikki's gentrified madness as being judgemental. Much like her and Felicity, you are actively, willfully choosing to ignore what the real issues are.


As for your white, spanish and indian family members that have "natural" hair, do they face the same discriminitory practices as you, me or those women in the military that I referenced in my previous post?

If you say, "Yes," then, I'm sorry but: YOU NEED MORE PEOPLE (to substantiate your claims).

Because these people aren't the ones being asked time and time again to defend their hair texture nor press for acceptance of their hair in its natural state.

So enjoy that hot mug of tea you're drinking, too.

I believe it's called New Black Tea. I think Curly Nikki is selling it on her website...

 

[dicapr]

DDTexlaxed But yet, you still didn't address any of the questions I asked in my post but, ok. As for your family members that have "natural" hair, do they face the same discriminitory practices as you, me or those women I referenced in my previous post? And by spanish, do you mean from Spain or something else? Because that would mean they are European and well, white, too.

No one faces the same discriminatory practices as the next person. But to say someone's journey isn't valid because it isn't your journey is dismissive and hurtful. And that goes across all hair types and textures.

 

[kellistarr]

Ok I did read it.

First of all, if someone respects a "movement," they don't necessarily have to be a part. You don't have to usurp and insert yourself into everything just because you can kind of relate. That is the point that many of us were making.

I am all for stylists and people of all colors appreciating and learning to do kinky/coily and kinky/curly hair. However, that doesn't mean that it is ok to dubiously proclaim that you are part of the natural hair movement. It means something totally different for us. Please. This is the most ludicrous claim about this movement that I have ever heard.

Nikki is wrong by saying that in order to be fully accepted, we need to let others insert themselves into our spaces and it's necessary to expand our movement to include people who it was never for. This just dilutes the premises and ideologies upon which this movement was built. This movement was founded due to the systematic oppression, humiliation, and degradation that black men and women have faced/are facing across the globe.

Now we want to expand it to include anyone who got called names due to having some poofy (albeit long) hair that they could easily put into a bun? They want to expand it to include people who never struggled with growing their hair due to never having the products and techniques? Our traditional combs and other hair grooming tools and techniques were taken away from us and we never had a chance to learn about our hair. Hello? Pickaninnys anyone?

We are just now...just freakin now after hundreds of years of oppression...seeing the light and learning ourselves. Yes, "natural hair" has been around for years waterlilly....YOUR natural hair...not ours. The mere fact that we have to even say "natural hair" and differentiate it from permed hair says a crap ton about our situation that you/they clearly don't understand.

Sorry Nikki, I don't agree. Waterlilly and others like her can accept our movement by simply accepting it. They can cheer from the sidelines and they can even relate to the struggle if they've dealt with their own identity issues, negative self concepts, and unrealistic standards of beauty. I get it. We can ALL relate.

However, that does not mean that they have to insert themselves and act like they are part of it in order for the movement to be accepted. Like a pp said, this movement is the way it is because WE made it...we created it because there was/is a desperate need. To include people who honestly have nothing to do with it will only diminish the true meaning of it. It actually doesn't even make sense. I'm confused as to what natural white women with curly hair going are back to? erplexed

Nobody is saying that they can't/shouldn't read black hair blogs or share tips. That is what women do and that's fine. I'm just saying please do not insert yourself under the context of #natural hair when you know good and got-damned well that that is not nor has ever been your experience.

Stop appropriating our ish. Just respect it and accept it! There is a difference.

I can appreciate most everything that you are saying, but just perhaps Sarah didn't see it that way or doesn't see it that way. I know I didn't realize that I was jumping into any "movement" when I said "adios" to my relaxer and I certainly didn't realize there was any movement going on here when I first discovered the hair boards. I thought LHCF was just that, a forum about long hair or how to achieve and care for it. I didn't care about race, I was just looking for some hair care advice. I asked an online question, Pocahantas and this forum came up with her advice that I found interesting. She was discussing different products she used on her curly hair. Maybe, that's what Sarah can relate to. I've been watching her for at least 2 years now and her videos are all about caring for curly hair and what products she uses, which happen to be very close to products I use.

I thought CurlyNikki was about curly hair. Yes, I noticed that practically all the women featured were black. So what. They could be purple for all I care. I was looking for some hairstyles, products and tips. Maybe that's what was/is up with Sarah. Maybe to Sarah, her hair ain't silky. Her texture never struck me as silky. It struck me as thick and curly. I don't think she's inserting herself. Inserting herself into what? I like this forum for the advice I get on it; not on any "hair movements designated for who? Black women who don't have any silky texture, get discriminated against, didn't have any styling tools or products.... didn't know that's what this was about.

 

[Seraphina]

No one faces the same discriminatory practices as the next person. But to say someone's journey isn't valid because it isn't your journey is dismissive and hurtful. And that goes across all hair types and textures.

This is how I was feeling, and still do to a certain extent. I would actually not protest at all if it were really contributing something. But this isn't much different than if she went into the "Type 4" forum on NaturallyCurly and said, "Let me tell you about my regimen. I wash every few days and put gel in it. Now my hair is gorgeous." Why do that?

 

[JulietWhiskey]

No one faces the same discriminatory practices as the next person. But to say someone's journey isn't valid because it isn't your journey is dismissive and hurtful. And that goes across all hair types and textures.

@dicapr

No one is saying her "journey" isn't valid TO HER but equating simply "letting her hair down" within the context of the Natural Hair movement is absurd.

As a previous poster said, that would be like me---a woman who RARELY gets pimples, possesses clear, even toned skin with microscopic pores--- joining a support group for people dealing with the struggles of cystic acne and bemoaning the one time in 9th grade that I had a pimple.

Everyone in the room would be looking at me like,

.

I can feel "traumatized" all I want but it doesn't mean that other people should treat this like it's valid. Because it isn't.

They could dismiss my claims all they want. And quite frankly, if I was this stupid, shallow, and trolling enough to do some wack mess like this, then I should get clowned. Rightly so. Just like "Felicity" and Curly Nikki are being clowned now.

Therefore, I'm not capin' for this woman and her "pain." She has not been told by employers and the very government she serves that her hair is umkempt, dirty or unprofessional. She can cry me a river, build a bridge over said river and get over it.

In fact, they both can.

 

[Froreal3]

I can appreciate most everything that you are saying, but just perhaps Sarah didn't see it that way or doesn't see it that way. I know I didn't realize that I was jumping into any "movement" when I said "adios" to my relaxer and I certainly didn't realize there was any movement going on here when I first discovered the hair boards. I thought LHCF was just that, a forum about long hair or how to achieve and care for it. I didn't care about race, I was just looking for some hair care advice. I asked an online question, Pocahantas and this forum came up with her advice that I found interesting. She was discussing different products she used on her curly hair. Maybe, that's what Sarah can relate to. I've been watching her for at least 2 years now and her videos are all about caring for curly hair and what products she uses, which happen to be very close to products I use.

I thought CurlyNikki was about curly hair. Yes, I noticed that practically all the women featured were black. So what. They could be purple for all I care. I was looking for some hairstyles, products and tips. Maybe that's what was/is up with Sarah. Maybe to Sarah, her hair ain't silky. Her texture never struck me as silky. It struck me as thick and curly. I don't think she's inserting herself. Inserting herself into what? I like this forum for the advice I get on it; not on any "hair movements designated for who? Black women who don't have any silky texture, get discriminated against, didn't have any styling tools or products.... didn't know that's what this was about.

That's ok for Sarah not to see. It is obvious that she didn't see nor did she try to see after it was brought to her attention. You didn't realize you were part of something bigger than you are...but you are/were. That's ok too.

ETA: My problem is the whole fact that she tried to say she was #team natural when it means something entirely different for us and the supporters of that board than it does to her. She KNOWS it is something different because she admitted it was. She just wants to continue to play the victim in this situation.

 

[Starbucks]

That's ok for Sarah not to see. It is obvious that she didn't see nor did she try to see after it was brought to her attention. You didn't realize you were part of something bigger than you are...but you are/were. That's ok too.

But why would she say on her Facebook that it was "fun" to start the controversy? I think some people missed part of the story and are commenting on face value. The girl knew exactly what she was doing.

 

[Froreal3]

But why would she say on her Facebook that it was "fun" to start the controversy? I think some people missed part of the story and are commenting on face value. The girl knew exactly what she was doing.

I saw that part too. I agree that it wasn't all innocent and that she wants to play the victim now. Honestly, I don't even care whether she was ignorant or if she intended to start the controversy on purpose. The fact is, she did it and is not even attempting to empathize and see it from our pov.

My whole thing is that when a white woman with 3a hair comes in and says "I have natural hair," in the context of a blog of black women w/natural hair, it is ridiculous and offensive. The context in which she did it did not make sense.

What is she even differentiating "natural hair" from?

 

[dicapr]

dicapr No one is saying her "journey" isn't valid TO HER but equating simply "letting her hair down" within the context of the Natural Hair movement is absurd. As a previous poster said, that would be like me---a woman who RARELY gets pimples, possesses clear, even toned skin with microscopic pores--- joining a support group for people dealing with the struggles of cystic acne and bemoaning the one time in 9th grade that I had a pimple. Everyone in the room would be looking at me like, . I can feel "traumatized" all I want but it doesn't mean that other people should treat this like it's valid. Because it isn't. They could dismiss my claims all they want. And quite frankly, if I was this stupid, shallow, and trolling enough to do some wack mess like this, then I should get clowned. Rightly so. Just like "Felicity" and Curly Nikki are being clowned now. Therefore, I'm not capin' for this woman and her "pain." She has not been told by employers and the very government she serves that her hair is umkempt, dirty or unprofessional. She can cry me a river, build a bridge over said river and get over it. In fact, they both can.

So someone with wavy hair wants to play natural. Why should I care? If it was a big step for her in her journey great. If she was trolling why give her the time of day?

At the end of the day I can't be bothered fighting silly battles. The mine pain is greater than your pain battle is fruitless. Just as soon as you dismiss someone's struggle another person is judging your pain irrelevant also.

I've come to the point in my life where I understand someone's pain or struggle doesn't diminish mine.

 

[LivingInPeace]

White woman playing the victim. How original.

 

[Saludable84]

My only comments on this whole issue is that with our "hair movement" our community is getting recognition and seeing how important we are. Period. In turn, the community is trying to build back and repair years of mental damage, even if everyone doesn't deal and heal the same way. Out community needs to be stronger and maybe this is what we need.

With that being said, being that Nikki clearly feels anyone who proclaims natural after our community worked hard to accept ourselves and out natural hair is disrespectful. By accepting Nikki and her brand new a$$, your accepting they fact that it's ok for us as black people to not have or fight for anything. So for those who think it's not that serious or are saddened by it, continue to be oppressed.

I refuse to believe that some Becky or Molly can tell me we have the same struggle when she can just wash, skipping the go, and meanwhile my washday is still a 5-step process. And I still use relaxers. This is our time. We need to fight hard to keep it that way.

 

[JulietWhiskey]

So someone with wavy hair wants to play natural. Why should I care? If it was a big step for her in her journey great. If she was trolling why give her the time of day?

At the end of the day I can't be bothered fighting silly battles. The mine pain is greater than your pain battle is fruitless. Just as soon as you dismiss someone's struggle another person is judging your pain irrelevant also.

I've come to the point in my life where I understand someone's pain or struggle doesn't diminish mine.

@dicapr

Okay, girl! I've already stated, clearly, how I feel.

Hope your 4th is "turnt up!"

!

 

[robot.]

We can't even come together to agree to be angry (and not even angry but at least a little annoyed) at a white person who ADMITTED to coming into our community to troll us.

How did this somehow become a problem amongst ourselves? We ain't do **** wrong!

My people, my people.

 

[dicapr]

dicapr Okay! Bye! Hope your 4th is "turnt up!" !

Thanks you too (even though I know you call yourself throwing shade). I think I'm too old for this board. My real life experience is interfering with the new less welcoming group think that dominates the board now.

 

[dicapr]

We can't even come together to agree to be angry (and not even angry but at least a little annoyed) at a white person who ADMITTED to coming into our community to troll us. How did this somehow become a problem amongst ourselves? We ain't do **** wrong! My people, my people.

She wanted attention and so our solution is to give it to her? Ignore her and she and others like her will go away. Give her the reaction she wants and this will not be the last time it happens. What ever happened to not feeding the trolls?

 

[JulietWhiskey]

We can't even come together to agree to be angry (and not even angry but at least a little annoyed) at a white person who ADMITTED to coming into our community to troll us.

How did this somehow become a problem amongst ourselves? We ain't do **** wrong!

My people, my people.

robot.


YAAAASSSSS!!! I read your post, got to the end and was like,

!

 

[robot.]

She wanted attention and so our solution is to give it to her? Ignore her and she and others like her will go away. Give her the reaction she wants and this will not be the last time it happens. What ever happened to not feeding the trolls?

She's going to get the attention anyway, it's how the internet works. However the issue should've been addressing the WW and now we're somehow pointing fingers at one another. Not how that should've gone down.

 

[robot.]

You and these Prince gifs!

 

[JulietWhiskey]

You and these Prince gifs!

He's the best!



!