Crushing Hard: Why Can't He Just Be Mine?

[*SkolarStar*]

I've been crushing on this man for a long while now. I know him because my oldest sister did a lot of community work with him. Well, he moved to DC for school and work. I won't get into details about him but the man is awesome. I've learned from you that in order to be noticed you need to be in the target's line of vision. I know that I'm not in his because I'm in Milwaukee and he's in DC. My only mode to communicate with him is facebook. The last time we spoke was while I was abroad. I asked him what's next and you know what this man said? He said that he's looking to settle down because school is about to wrap up soon. All I was thinking was "Here I am dammit! Here I am!!!"

Here is the main problem that I may never overcome. I don't know how he views me because I'm that "little sister". I knew someone that was scared to talk to me because he's my cousin's best friend and knows my brother. erplexed I'm afraid that I haven't "grown up" in his eyes. Yet, I never knew how he previously viewed me to begin with.

Well, I'm back from being abroad, been back for a couple of months now. Should I say something to him? If I do, what do I say? "Hey, I think you're super fine and I wanna see you. Let's get some coffee, have sex (jk jk), something".

Or maybe it's not even all that and I just need to let the ninja go. Which, I can do just fine because he's just a crush. I just think about the shoulda/coulda/woulda's from time to time (times like this when no one is around to occupy my mind).

Had a crush? What did you do about him?

 

[RocStar]

My advice would be to take the energy you have put into him and put it into finding someone local. Crushes are exciting, but the circumstances and the distance are two things already working against you. Just my thoughts. Good luck!

 

[Transformer]

Wanting and Having are two totally seperate emotions

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

Talk to him .

 

[Starian]

Wanting and Having are two totally separate emotions

And I've found out the hard way several times (I'm hardheaded) that having rarely lives up to the wanting. Your mind has created an idealized fantasy of this person and when the real thing falls short you wind up disappointed.

 

[carcajada]

And I've found out the hard way several times (I'm hardheaded) that having rarely lives up to the wanting. Your mind has created an idealized fantasy of this person and when the real thing falls short you wind up disappointed.

Amen.

 

[CarLiTa]

I don't crush. Crushing usually gets your heart/feelings crushed. So I left all that when I left high school.

Now I'm only interested in the people who are interested in me. And if they lose interest in me along the way (and I deduce so by their actions) then I sure enough naturally lose interest back.

That doesn't mean that I don't occasionally think abt people from the past, or that someone new will catch my eye, but if he doesn't give me the time of day, then he doesn't or eventually will no longer be on my mental radar.