my church had a prayer revival 2 weeks ago && my pastor's mother prophesied to the single women... she said that instead of sitting around waiting for a "man" to come along, we need to "throw" ourselves into ministry. find things in the church (ministry) to do, to occupy our time. (in my opinion going to school also fits in this category.) she said that once we stop focusing on finding a man && engulf ourselves in the work of the Lord, He will fulfill the desires of our hearts.
&& it's funny because, being a single mother i was complaining about the ministries that i was already involved in && the number of times per week i was at church. ever since she said that i've been looking for ministries to join, lol. not because i think my husband is going to pop up at church while i'm there but because i believe the prophecy... it's kinda nice taking a break from planning my "pretend wedding" to do something useful! lol.
Oh dear, here's that old chestnut again... churches telling single women to throw themselves into ministry and into "God."
Meanwhile, single men rarely (if ever) get that same message (maybe because they aren't in church?) and married people get a pass from the message because they're occupied with spouses and children.
And yet, marriage is God's original ministry. And Lord knows, we need more of that in the black community... more marriages would be a greater ministry, IMO, for the black church and black community instead of a growing army of single women serving until God "decides" to send them a man...
Sorry, I'm not buying your pastor's mother's prophecy, no offense to her. (BTW, is she married? Has she been married?)
I do understand the general point of the thread and the concept that Kia is trying to reach. One will not be available to the right man if one is acting out of desperation and loneliness and chasing after the wrong men. One must learn to find happiness in herself as she is and fulfillment in God, which is a lifelong journey.
But that being said, there's nothing wrong with wanting to NOT be single. It shouldn't consume your life, true, and it shouldn't prevent you from doing things that you'd enjoy doing... but one shouldn't feel that she has to join MORE church ministries or do MORE to take the focus off her singleness -- we were made with a God-given void that only a spouse can fill... not buddies, not singles groups, not girlfriends, not more church ministries.
My advice would be to actively wait. Enjoy your single season with positive anticipation that you will soon be crossing into your season as a wife and mother. If you have dreams and goals, work to fulfill them. Don't depend on a man to do them for you, but look forward to a time in which a man will be there to support you in those goals in the future.
And pray that while you are growing closer to God and a greater sense of fulfillment in yourself as a single, ask for the Lord to help you fulfill his ministry of marriage so that you can soon glorify Him through your role as a wife and mother.
Edited to add: I wish that churches would do more to help single women who want to be married to get married (like, oh, strongly encouraging single men to pursue single women, and teaching single women with this desire about what it means to be a wife)... that would be more helpful than a lot of the advice they're giving now, IMO.