Cancer Men?

[SincerelyJane]

I dated a Cancer for years. It was a very up and down relationship. He was both moody and emotional. He's very family oriented, he just wanted to settle down and be the sort of father he never had. He's married now, I'm assuming he's happy?

I don't remember if he was jealous, but I'm a Scorpio so jealousy just makes me feel secure. I guess I just thought he was normal. He used to lie about things, he was a very good liar. He taught me not to trust a man any farther than I could throw him. It wasnt until my last relationship that I learned you could expect and receive honesty in a relationship. But now I can sniff out a lying man in a minute, so....

All in all he tried his best. I wouldn't not date another Cancer, but I'm not running out to find another. I seem to attract a lot of them, I don't know why. When I go out on a date and I find out the dude is a Cancer I just start to look at them differently. I just know they're super sensitive and will take everything I say to heart. It takes very little to set them off, and they can be such babies about the silliest things. They are very sincere though.

My ex also thought the world of himself, and he had me believing it too. I don't think that way anymore though.

 

[OhmyKimB]

I dated a Cancer for years. It was a very up and down relationship. He was both moody and emotional. He's very family oriented, he just wanted to settle down and be the sort of father he never had. He's married now, I'm assuming he's happy?

I don't remember if he was jealous, but I'm a Scorpio so jealousy just makes me feel secure. I guess I just thought he was normal. He used to lie about things, he was a very good liar. He taught me not to trust a man any farther than I could throw him. It wasnt until my last relationship that I learned you could expect and receive honesty in a relationship. But now I can sniff out a lying man in a minute, so....

All in all he tried his best. I wouldn't not date another Cancer, but I'm not running out to find another. I seem to attract a lot of them, I don't know why. When I go out on a date and I find out the dude is a Cancer I just start to look at them differently. I just know they're super sensitive and will take everything I say to heart. It takes very little to set them off, and they can be such babies about the silliest things. They are very sincere though.

My ex also thought the world of himself, and he had me believing it too. I don't think that way anymore though.

This whole thread sounds like my Aries ex.....


which concerns me about my cancer prospect......

 

[CurlyMoo]

This whole thread sounds like my Aries ex.....


which concerns me about my cancer prospect......

Aries and Cancers are cardinal signs, the leaders of the zodiac.
They are going to be arrogant and selfish at times. Goes with the territory of being a natural initiator.
Not everyone is going to have the same relationship.
What is your sign? Makes a difference.

 

[CurlyMoo]

I dated a Cancer for years. It was a very up and down relationship. He was both moody and emotional. He's very family oriented, he just wanted to settle down and be the sort of father he never had. He's married now, I'm assuming he's happy?

I don't remember if he was jealous, but I'm a Scorpio so jealousy just makes me feel secure. I guess I just thought he was normal. He used to lie about things, he was a very good liar. He taught me not to trust a man any farther than I could throw him. It wasnt until my last relationship that I learned you could expect and receive honesty in a relationship. But now I can sniff out a lying man in a minute, so....

All in all he tried his best. I wouldn't not date another Cancer, but I'm not running out to find another. I seem to attract a lot of them, I don't know why. When I go out on a date and I find out the dude is a Cancer I just start to look at them differently. I just know they're super sensitive and will take everything I say to heart. It takes very little to set them off, and they can be such babies about the silliest things. They are very sincere though.

My ex also thought the world of himself, and he had me believing it too. I don't think that way anymore though.

You being a Scorpio makes you a water sign like Cancer, it's a natural attraction and inevitable. Cancers are emotional, moody and sensitive. It's a package deal, it's great when the Cancer is highly evolved and mature. Water signs tend to mirror each other which can be very frustrating.

 

[SincerelyJane]

This whole thread sounds like my Aries ex.....


which concerns me about my cancer prospect......

Interesting. Could you share more about your ex? One of the guys I'm dating now is an Aries, I'm still trying to figure him out. I have never really dated one before, the last time I tried to date one the whole thing went up in flames.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Interesting. Could you share more about your ex? One of the guys I'm dating now is an Aries, I'm still trying to figure him out. I have never really dated one before, the last time I tried to date one the whole thing went up in flames.

Pretty much. Scorpio mom, Aries dad.

 

[Miss617]

My husband is a Cancer (I'm a Scorpio). He can be moody, but more often than not, he is the logical one. Super family oriented, almost to the point that I wish we lived further away from them (they live 10 minutes away, walking). He's not really jealous, more insecure, but I was in college for most of our relationship, so I understand. At the end of the day, he balances me out, even though I wanna choke him sometimes

 

[SincerelyJane]

Pretty much. Scorpio mom, Aries dad.

Lol well at least your parents made it long enough for you to get here. We barely made it out the first date .

What happened with your parents, if you don't mind me asking.

 

[mallysmommy]

Miss617 whats your sign?
My crab did that withdrawing thing yesterday. He came out of his shell to at least check on me and wish me a good night and morning via phone calls. I too want to choke him

 

[Miss617]

Miss617 whats your sign?
My crab did that withdrawing thing yesterday. He came out of his shell to at least check on me and wish me a good night and morning via phone calls. I too want to choke him

Scorpio. My husband withdraws on me sometimes, but once I get him to tell me what's wrong, I can't shut him up

 

[OhmyKimB]

Aries and Cancers are cardinal signs, the leaders of the zodiac.
They are going to be arrogant and selfish at times. Goes with the territory of being a natural initiator.
Not everyone is going to have the same relationship.
What is your sign? Makes a difference.

I'm a Leo. CurlyMoo


The first wasn't arrogant though....at all


This one doesn't seem to be...but I don't know him that well yet so I could be wrong.

 

[OhmyKimB]

Interesting. Could you share more about your ex? One of the guys I'm dating now is an Aries, I'm still trying to figure him out. I have never really dated one before, the last time I tried to date one the whole thing went up in flames.

Knowing what I know now

He was very jealous and territorial but insecure, so he used to project that onto me, while in reality I'm just territorial.

He was extremely moody and from what I know he still is. My emotions swing but his sunk and rose like the moon.

He just had this whole OTHER method, there really wasn't much rhyme or reason I could make of it. I just excepted that he was going to do things a certain way, and I was not and he was going to constantly tell me why I should.


Mine used to complain a lot, but most of the time it was just noise. I didn't even hear him after a while. I remember this one woman was listening to us go on at work and she just stared at us shocked. My co-worker laughed and told her to ignore us because we were like a married couple. He'd complain, I'd have a rebuttal and we'd just go back and forth and in the end one of us just did whatever it was the way the other wanted. We debated a lot.

Lies! Oh the lies.

Taught me not to trust people then did me dirty so I really don't trust anyone.




BUT

he did love me, and it was apparent.

He went of his way to do things

He was so much fun, and he really was my best friend

He knew me sometimes better than I knew myself, this means strong and weak points. If I was just being a brat he left me to my own devices until I cut it out. When I really couldn't deal with things he was there.

he was funny, supportive, attentive, and very protective.

He just had a lot of other issues...not related to anything but things that have happened to him.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Lol well at least your parents made it long enough for you to get here. We barely made it out the first date .

What happened with your parents, if you don't mind me asking.

They divorced. Check pm for more details. erplexed

Scorpio and Aries a both ruled by Mars and have a strong attraction toward each other. However, both of you are different. Water vs Fire. Could work depending on upbringing, experiences and charts.

I say take it slow, which will be very difficult for two people who like to get to it! Just have fun, like I said, you won't be bored.

 

[moore.1506]

My Dh is a cancer im a sag (two very close girl friens, uncle, and step father also canccers)
I have very close girlfriend who broke down the cancer traits for me.
These are traits i noticed from personal experience.

Good
Loves family, very protective of family, logical, thoughtful (if youre considered family). Can make asociates easily, generally nice person, stead fast will keep a hated job to support family
Bad
Tendancy towards being cynical, hides true feelings must know them very well to catch on, does not enjoy extravagant displays including emitional. Very proud takes alot to get them to tell you the full story. Difficulties being romantic.

 

[Mooney72]

My Dh is a cancer im a sag (two very close girl friens, uncle, and step father also canccers) I have very close girlfriend who broke down the cancer traits for me. These are traits i noticed from personal experience. Good Loves family, very protective of family, logical, thoughtful (if youre considered family). Can make asociates easily, generally nice person, stead fast will keep a hated job to support family Bad Tendancy towards being cynical, hides true feelings must know them very well to catch on, does not enjoy extravagant displays including emitional. Very proud takes alot to get them to tell you the full story. Difficulties being romantic.

moore.1506
I'm this same astrological combination with my SO. He's so hard to get through to and he sometimes shuts down to me. Then he'll be back the next day telling me he loves me like nothing happened. It feels like pulling teeth to get him to tell me his true feelings. It's truly frustrating at times, and amplified by the fact that we're not in the same state.
I love him. Should I just wait it out? How did you deal at the beginning of your relationship?

 

[moore.1506]

moore.1506
I'm this same astrological combination with my SO. He's so hard to get through to and he sometimes shuts down to me. Then he'll be back the next day telling me he loves me like nothing happened. It feels like pulling teeth to get him to tell me his true feelings. It's truly frustrating at times, and amplified by the fact that we're not in the same state.
I love him. Should I just wait it out? How did you deal at the beginning of your relationship?

Mooney72
Hey (the response is long but bear with me )

At the beginning of my relationship I was kind of on the outside of the loop. So it took awhile before he told me the whole story for instance if he had a bad day or argument with a family member I might not find out for weeks or months. In my experience the cancer needs time to trust you. Once they trust you and you are on the inner circle they will confide in you.

Also you have to let them think and process things then gently convince them to open up to you. This is best done by asking a direct question. Not as simple as "whats wrong" but a question like "how did your conversation go with your cousin. How was that thing at work you've been having trouble with." I have a best friend from high school and we love each other to death and she still will hold stuff back from me until she has time to process it herself. But one of the advantages is you are a Sagittarius so you have a tendency to be blunt. This will help with asking those questions and not beating around the bush. For instance "I know you're mad at your co-worker did yall end up talking about it?" Also use that bluntness and outgoing nature to make them laugh and brighten their spirits. So you will be associated with making him feel good and he will be more likely to open up. But there are just going to be some days you have to let him be in a bad mood until he is ready to talk.

They also don't really like confrontation. So if you did something that made them mad they will hold back on telling you and would rather bottle it up than talk about it. Which can be super annoying cause you can tell there is something wrong. I handle that by later when their in a better mood bringing it up casually and discussing what the problem was and encouraging addressing it head on so we both won't be annoyed for something that could have been discussed easily. There is another way to handle this but its not as constructive for your relationship.

Another big thing is being non-judgmental when they tell you stuff only supportive (which is difficult because they have a tendency towards being judgmental themselves). The reason is they are proud so they feel slightly embarrassed when they have problems and if you act judgmental they are going to feel like they were wrong for bringing it up. Sagittarius has a tendency towards being optimistic so try to keep yourself upbeat when he is being withholding look at it as an opportunity to learn more about him when he does open up.

Another thing is they hate to see a loved one sad so if he does something that is unacceptable if you show how much it hurt you, he will make a big effort not to do it again. Sagittarius also has a tendency towards being flighty and not staying in one place for too long. You will have to tone that down a little to show your serious side because for some reason cancers take that trait as being immature.

All this stuff only is pertinent if you and him are serious about each other and there are no other huge character flaws.

But as long as you both love each other and are willing to do the work it takes on yourself and on your relationship you guys should be fine. Good Luck!!! (Hope I was not too long winded)

 

[mallysmommy]

Lilmama1011 wait you are with a crab too? You are libra right?

 

[tamikachu =]]

moore.1506 I'm a sag with a cancer as well. I must be in the inner circle now because my guy loves to talk! Especially in bed... right as I am trying to go to sleep... lol

He is also crazy emotional even though he doesn't want to admit it. If his favorite team loses a game, his day is ruined. He's pissed off and catches an attitude about everything. This is not the time to be blunt or sarcastic with him(which is my nature). I just have to do other things to keep his mind off of whatever pissed him off.

We are both introverts so I don't mind when he goes into his shell because I soak up all the alone time I can get but there are times when I have to ask for attention and that's annoying.

He loves most of his family from a distance but when it comes to his 2 y/o niece, my god you would think she was his! She has him wrapped around her little finger. He's the same exact way with the dog, he gets upset if I yell at her too loud while disciplining her(because he spoils her rotten).

All in all, he is my BFF and he's so funny, attentive, caring, and nurturing. He also likes to give me scalp massages and playing in my naps so he's a keeper. lol

 

[Maracujá]

Everything that has been written here puts things in perspective concerning my first relationship, my ex was a cancerian (so am I by the way). Can someone go deeper into the emotional abusive part? That is just something I am not willing to go through again, any positive stories on that side?

 

[Mooney72]

moore.1506 tamikachu =]

Both of your posts are describing me and SO right now. As a Sag, I fly off the handle, am impatient and can be VERY blunt. I can tell these traits really get to him and not in a positive way. I will try to temper those parts of myself and let him know he can trust and open up to me.

Do you ever feel emotionally manipulated by your Cancer man? I know that is not a good thing, but it's like he's not doing it on purpose. He wants to see if I'll reject him or if I'll stick it out, so he tries to mess with me a little.

 

[tamikachu =]]

moore.1506 tamikachu =]

Both of your posts are describing me and SO right now. As a Sag, I fly off the handle, am impatient and can be VERY blunt. I can tell these traits really get to him and not in a positive way. I will try to temper those parts of myself and let him know he can trust and open up to me.

Do you ever feel emotionally manipulated by your Cancer man? I know that is not a good thing, but it's like he's not doing it on purpose. He wants to see if I'll reject him or if I'll stick it out, so he tries to mess with me a little.

@ the bolded: THIS IS ME TO THE "T", especially if I haven't had enough alone time.

I cant recall any time that the is emotionally manipulative, for the most part my happiness is his priority. I guess because I know how he can internalize things I try to be a little more patient with him.

With my bf, taking interest in things that he's interested in really got him to open up with me. It also established the "friendship" in our relationship.

How long have you guys been together and how often do you see each other?

 

[moore.1506]

moore.1506 tamikachu =]

Both of your posts are describing me and SO right now. As a Sag, I fly off the handle, am impatient and can be VERY blunt. I can tell these traits really get to him and not in a positive way. I will try to temper those parts of myself and let him know he can trust and open up to me.

Do you ever feel emotionally manipulated by your Cancer man? I know that is not a good thing, but it's like he's not doing it on purpose. He wants to see if I'll reject him or if I'll stick it out, so he tries to mess with me a little.

There have been times i've felt emotionally manipulated but with him he has a way of being very judgmental and saying things that seem nonchalant but he is subtly hinting at something. It is so annoying and unlike other signs cancers do much better when you bring things back up later when emotions are running less high. With them tho it really helps going back after the fact and telling them you understand their point of view.

In the heat of the moment my cancer man can be very cold and say hurtful things without thinking. I have to later address things to get him to understand if my feelings were hurt badly. Also I feel the silent treatment works a little better than aggressive arguing. Also they have a distrustful nature so things you may do with a the best of intentions they might think you have an ulterior motive. It is very annoying but you have to just talk it out and train them to understand your intention was kind and they are being paranoid (not so bluntly tho lol).

I know it seems like so much negative but like I was saying before once you're in the close inner family circle they will do anything for you and making you happy literally will make them happy

 

[moore.1506]

@ the bolded: THIS IS ME TO THE "T", especially if I haven't had enough alone time.

I cant recall any time that the is emotionally manipulative, for the most part my happiness is his priority. I guess because I know how he can internalize things I try to be a little more patient with him.

With my bf, taking interest in things that he's interested in really got him to open up with me. It also established the "friendship" in our relationship.

How long have you guys been together and how often do you see each other?

Def agree with the bolded. They def internalize things. Also I agree about that making the friendship part of the relationship a top priority.

Im now pretty patient with my DH but that was a skill I have been working on since we started dating. That impatient part of my personality I funnel into other things besides my relationships. With all my cancer relationships impatience doesn't go over well.

 

[tamikachu =]]

I know it seems like so much negative but like I was saying before once you're in the close inner family circle they will do anything for you and making you happy literally will make them happy

The bolded is exactly where I'm at with him.

 

[CurlyMoo]

WOW, so many Saggys with Crabs. My brother has been seeing a Saggy. The first serious relationship since his wife passed from pancreatic cancer. I was hoping he would get with a Taurus or Pisces but he went for the Cantor. I may be meeting her soon and do NOT look forward to that meeting. There were a LOT of women trying to get with him after his wife passed. I see one snagged him.

Anyway based on a study done by a German Scorpio here are the stats for successful marriages with Cancer men:

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/014471.html

This is from The Astrology File.

( I did this years ago, but couldn’t find the string to bump it. Not a problem )

Let’s get started!

Basic rule is - the higher the number, the greater the “Lasting Attraction” i.e. marriage rate high, divorce rate low.

[ Curious where they got the info?

To put this book together, these guys went through “vast quantities of information stored in databases in the industrialised nations”.
They go into more detail – but it’s too much to type. ]

(High number is good)

Cancer man

Cancer Female 1056
Taurus Female 1038
Sagittarius Female 1037
Virgo Female 1015
Pisces Female 1015
Gemini Female 1014
Leo Female 994
Aries Female 973
Aquarius Female 969
Capricorn Female 968
Libra Female 964
Scorpio Female 961

Sagittarius Female

Cancer Male 1037
Taurus Male 1032
Libra Male 1026
Gemini Male 1024
Aries Male 1011
Pisces Male 1004
Leo Male 990
Scorpio Male 988
Capricorn Male 982
Sagittarius Male 975
Aquarius Male 969
Virgo Male 960

Sag female is 3rd in success rate.

 

[crlsweetie912]

WOW, so many Saggys with Crabs. My brother has been seeing a Saggy. The first serious relationship since his wife passed from pancreatic cancer. I was hoping he would get with a Taurus or Pisces but he went for the Cantor. I may be meeting her soon and do NOT look forward to that meeting. There were a LOT of women trying to get with him after his wife passed. I see one snagged him. Anyway based on a study done by a German Scorpio here are the stats for successful marriages with Cancer men: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/014471.html Sag female is 3rd in success rate.

Dang me and boo are high on that list!!!!!
Ok we are about 9 months in.
Mr. Is emotional...he has times when something is bothering him he will retreat. But the times are few and far between. Maybe twice since we have been together. He cares deeply for friends and family. He is the one you can depend on. He is always helping someone and will do so without a second thought. He is so romantic, talks a lot but listens and remembers everything I say. He is funny and keeps me laughing. We have never argued, but have disagreements and always talk things out. He is the first Cancer I have ever dated and if he isn't the "one", he doesn't exist for me.

 

[mallysmommy]

Awww we are second to last (libra) but i love cancer men. lol

 

[Mooney72]

@ the bolded: THIS IS ME TO THE "T", especially if I haven't had enough alone time.

I cant recall any time that the is emotionally manipulative, for the most part my happiness is his priority. I guess because I know how he can internalize things I try to be a little more patient with him.

With my bf, taking interest in things that he's interested in really got him to open up with me. It also established the "friendship" in our relationship.

How long have you guys been together and how often do you see each other?

It has been one month today, so we're completely in the beginning stages. We are in contact nearly every day in some form (IM, text, email, videos, we write letters), but we live in different states. I remain cautiously optimistic until we meet face-to-face. We met online and he's bought a ticket to fly here next Friday. He is staying in a hotel, so there is no pressure or expectations as far as that is concerned.
All in all, we communicate well and fairly easily.

The reason I mentioned emotional manipulation is the following: He owns a software and web development company (which I have verified), so he can be writing code all day and night then sleep half the next day. For that reason, I try to give him time without me constantly trying to contact him. Yet, he doesn't like that. It's like he wants me to find the right balance between too much contact (clingy) and no contact (not interested) and I'd rather just let things be and not force it. But, like I said, we communicate well, so we had a talk about this last night. I honestly feel he's more clingy than I am.

 

[tamikachu =]]

It has been one month today, so we're completely in the beginning stages. We are in contact nearly every day in some form (IM, text, email, videos, we write letters), but we live in different states. I remain cautiously optimistic until we meet face-to-face. We met online and he's bought a ticket to fly here next Friday. He is staying in a hotel, so there is no pressure or expectations as far as that is concerned.
All in all, we communicate well and fairly easily.

The reason I mentioned emotional manipulation is the following: He owns a software and web development company (which I have verified), so he can be writing code all day and night then sleep half the next day. For that reason, I try to give him time without me constantly trying to contact him. Yet, he doesn't like that. It's like he wants me to find the right balance between too much contact (clingy) and no contact (not interested) and I'd rather just let things be and not force it. But, like I said, we communicate well, so we had a talk about this last night. I honestly feel he's more clingy than I am.

Wait do you kostly initiate contact? If yes then explain to him that he can also initiate contact if he isn't busy. It could be the lack of face to face contact that's gettibg to him. If he doesn't trust you he may be wondering what you are up to when you are communicating. Maybe things will change a little once you guys meet up in person.

 

[Miss617]

WOW, so many Saggys with Crabs. My brother has been seeing a Saggy. The first serious relationship since his wife passed from pancreatic cancer. I was hoping he would get with a Taurus or Pisces but he went for the Cantor. I may be meeting her soon and do NOT look forward to that meeting. There were a LOT of women trying to get with him after his wife passed. I see one snagged him.

Anyway based on a study done by a German Scorpio here are the stats for successful marriages with Cancer men:

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/014471.html



Sag female is 3rd in success rate.

Dang, Scorpio female is last? I would say that doesn't bode well for DH and I, but there are exceptions to everything.