Can you genuinely just be friends with an ex ?

Hmm...:scratchch

Define the word "friend" and just exactly what this will encompass in your interactions with your ex. Because my answer may differ greatly depending on what type of "friendship" your ex has in mind. :perplexed
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
Hmm...:scratchch

Define the word "friend" and just exactly what this will encompass in your interactions with your ex. Because my answer may differ greatly depending on what type of "friendship" your ex has in mind. :perplexed
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They call or text and annoy me.

It might be that the friendship that I have with my other ex clouds my view and I cant handle another one of those...but that is another story :look:
 
If it annoys you, then you should let your partner know.

When I started dating my DH I used to be in regular contact with an ex. There was no hope in hell that we would ever rekindle anything but I valued his friendship. When he found out that we were still friends he asked me how I would feel if he was good friends with one of his exes.

I knew I would not have felt comfortable with it myself so I stopped corresponding with my ex. I think people have to define the boundaries within their relationships. What may be okay with one couple may not be within another couples relationship.

However, if kids were involved it would have been a different story. No kids were involved so my SO's feelings took priority because I knew that he would have done the same.
 
DarkJoy said:
It's never worked for me.
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Me either. I've tried but they get inappropriate and cross the lines of friendship THEN I have to be the bad guy and end it. Sometimes I think we should've just stayed friends to begin with bc I miss some of those guys. :sad:
 
Mortons said:
They call or text and annoy me.

It might be that the friendship that I have with my other ex clouds my view and I cant handle another one of those...but that is another story :look:
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@Mortons

Hmmm....well, if they're annoying you then honestly I don't see any real reason why you HAVE to continue to be friends with them. You can be cordial, but if you really don't want anything to do with them, then this texting and calling business can be stopped.

Are you in a new relationship? Or are you still single? :look: Because that's another thing..... If I'm in a new relationship with a guy, then more than likely any "exes" I had are going out the window...if I haven't done so already. I don't see the need to stay "friends" (as in calling, texting, hanging out, etc) with an ex if I'm in a new relationship. I just don't have time for that. :hand:

Plus, not to mention, but it might be a little disrespectful to my new bf. :perplexed I know I probably wouldn't like him keeping in contact with an ex-gf. :look: Unless the ex and I grew up together or something, or have family ties (ie. a child together, close CLOSE SUPER close family friends, etc) I don't see the need to be contacting an ex, or vice versa.

I can be "friends" in the sense that when we see each other, we're still cordial, say hello, and give each other a hug and whatnot. But him calling me? Texting me? Ummm....naaah.... ESPECIALLY if I'm in a new relationship or vice versa. Now if I'm single, MAYBE I can be a little more "chummy" lol :giggle:, but in my experience usually when a guy wants to continue to be "friends" after a break up, he either usually wants MORE, or he wants to keep you on the "backburner" just in case. :rolleyes:
 
Im great friends with my ex fiance & I dont even remember the s3x at all! We dont flirt, touch, etc. Strictly good friends. We both have a SO.

So yes its possible depending on the situation.
 
For me, sexual chemistry and left over emotions makes it hard. Anyone I've dated and not had that kind of connection with, yes.
 
No.

Once we break up you're dead to me. I don't want to hear about any new relationships you're in or if you're about to get married. Don't call or text me. Nothing.

:look:
 
I used to think that maybe you could be but I'm not so sure now.

No matter how many years have passed, it always seem to boil back down to the man trying to sleep with you again at some point. If you are both single at the same time, 9 times out of 10 he will try to be intimate with you.

Just like Harry said in When Harry Met Sally, "A man can't be friends with a woman he finds attractive."
 
yes--for me. I emotionally detach almost instantaneously once it's over. Loved you on Monday, decided I don't love you anymore on Wednesday. By Saturday, we can chill and kick it like homies.....

For the average woman---no. they can't be friends with an ex.
 
barbiesocialite said:
yes--for me. I emotionally detach almost instantaneously once it's over. Loved you on Monday, decided I don't love you anymore on Wednesday. By Saturday, we can chill and kick it like homies.....

For the average woman---no. they can't be friends with an ex.
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Sounds emotionally unstable & unrealistic.
 
barbiesocialite said:
yes--for me. I emotionally detach almost instantaneously once it's over. Loved you on Monday, decided I don't love you anymore on Wednesday. By Saturday, we can chill and kick it like homies.....

For the average woman---no. they can't be friends with an ex.
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Well, alrighty then! :lachen:

I agree about this being true for the average woman, I couldn't be friends with an ex, but I think this is also true for the average man. Quite obviously, you are not average.


hair4romheaven said:
Sounds emotionally unstable & unrealistic.
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barbiesocialite said:
ok. thanks.
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:lachen: If I didn't know any better, I would think that you were one of my favorite cousins. Your responses and attitude remind me of her.
 
Its case by case. I try to stay cordial and distant at the same time from them. Anytime they suggest having dinner or anything intimate I tell them I have something to do that day and never get back to them and they don't hear from me until another month or so.

Most my ex's they have said or done some ish that I would never really want to consider them as being friends anyway so I really don't see the benefit of being friends with them after I've ended it with them.
 
Thought about this thread the other day. My ex has been very supportive lately and it's been helping. However, he's already getting on my nerves! I don't like him as a person and feel bad about it because he's dependable, brilliant and always there for his friends but his personality is off putting. The most recent ex is too fresh to call it but most likely I won't be able to be friends unless I'm married or something. I'd be a lil' jelly.....or maybe it's too soon to say.
 
My friendship with the ex upthread has actually been great...except I do struggle a little bit with my feelings. not of jealousy...but of them having more consideration for the feelings for the person that they are seeing now than they did with my feels. I feel like I have the choice of getting over myself or getting out of this friendship even if it is good. The only other option is for them to never talk about their girlfriends...ever and I dont know if that is fair to ask. IDK, I should never have gotten myself into this predicament and wish I woulda just ignored them so it wouldnt be an even bigger issue now with worse hurt feelings :ohwell:
 
Yes. If and only if you are single. Your new s/o may feel a tad bit insecure about the friendship no matter how innocent it is. I was friends with all my exes until I got married. Those were some of my best friends, because they understood me and loved me for me.
 
Mortons said:
Do you feel you can be friends with someone after having had a relationship where you were intimate with one another? Not including a poll so that you have to explain your answer :lachen:


One of my exes has begun to pester me pretty hard about a friendship, so that inspired the thread. Will be back with my answer :perplexed
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I'm friends with each of my exes. Guess I never broke up with a person on bad terms. And I can use each of them in one way or another. I don't burn bridges. Then again I'm aquarian so I'm more logical than emotional.
 
I developed a couple of close friendships with guys I briefly dated 6-7 years ago . We weren't friends at first or even discussed about a possible friendship in the future . It just happened overtime .
What's really important is not to feel any real attraction towards them . Once me and a guy step into friendship my attraction towards him fades to the point he can give me details about his encounters without me flinching.
That's when you know you can be friends .
You care about each other but you don't want each other as partners .
 
Yes you can, but only if the chemistry is gone. My ex husband will forever be a friend, the chemistry is completely gone. But my ex whom I refer to as the Bedazzler...heck no.

He came over recently for a midnight dinner and swim...and well...let's just say...bedazzled I was and bedazzled I got. I swear I went to another planet...lol.

But for the most part we are friends and he will do anything for me, but I just know he was The One for me and will always have my heart. So I have to keep him in a certain place...despite his manifestos of being a changed man.
 
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