Can you genuinely just be friends with an ex ?

M

Mortons

Well-Known Member
Do you feel you can be friends with someone after having had a relationship where you were intimate with one another? Not including a poll so that you have to explain your answer :lachen:


One of my exes has begun to pester me pretty hard about a friendship, so that inspired the thread. Will be back with my answer :perplexed
 
I say yes, IF both of you are over having an intimate relationship with the other. If you both can get to the point where you understand that there is no future together, it just isn't a good fit, then you can have a friendship. I have a few exes where we are friends but there isn't enough there to sustain a relationship.

I don't believe that most people are capable of having a relationship with an ex. I also think that people that are pushing have an agenda other than friendship.
 
Eh, it may be possible if sex was had very little or was just a horrible event and you both laugh about it now lol. On TV and in movies, they do a great job of portraying awesome-after-sex-now-just-friends relationships...

Maybe if kids are involved and/or BOTH parties have SUCCESSFULLY moved on, maybe a platonic happy friendship can be!
 
That is based on why you broke up. Was there cheating and lying involved? Does one person still want to reunite? I have an ex I am friends with but I run the friendship show. For every 10 times he might call me. I return less than half of the calls. If he makes a hopeful comment I politely decline. If he discusses dating I encourage him to. It was tough at first for him but he realized it was never going to happen for us again.
 
Yes. I am friends with a few exes.

But in all cases, it took some time to get to that point. I'm talking years. Breaking up or no longer being involved then immediately trying to be friends after never worked.
 
No. Cordial, yes. But friends? No. I tried it and it ended with him trying to police who I was with. He also let his pervy side come out and asked me for a video of me nursing ds2. :blush: :nono:Nasty *****.
 
I am friends with a couple exes and we didn't develop a friendship until years after ending our relationship. There are limitations on these friendships though.
 
Yes, but there are a lot of ifs to make it happen. If the relationship was long ago. If both parties have new relationships and are happy in those relationships. If everyone's on the same page regarding expectations. If everyone's mates are ok with the friendships. Lots of "ifs."

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy SIII using LHCF
 
No, mainly because he doesn't respect my current boyfriend/relationship. If he did, he wouldn't always try to text me flirty/pathetic texts. Also no because we're in two different areas of our lives with two different mind sets. So even if we never dated before I probably would have no interest or time to be friends with him.

But definitely not the case for all ex relationships. Lots of guys can move on and be respectful and same with girls. If we're both happy in our current situation, then it should be fine.
 
Yup.

Honestly when I look at/spend time with my exes I can't believe I ever went out with them:look:. SO is an alpha. They are beta lol. They have moved on romantically with someone more suibtable and are happy. So am I.
 
I'm cordial with most of my exes, but not necessarily friends with them. Most of my them try to get back with me, which makes it hard to be friends since they want more of a relationship and I don't.
 
I'm not friends with any of my exes. I've never felt the need to be. I'm cordial with one of the ones I might run into. The other that I might bump into, not at all. I told him to kick rocks when he tried to be friendly after our breakup. Bye bye!

Sent from my iPad mini mini.
 
I suppose that it's a case by case, relationship by relationship situation. However, it is not necessary. I hate when exes want to be friends? Why? It's annoying to me. The friendship ended when the relationship ended. Why do you think that I do not have other/enough friends as it is. Or maybe, women who agree to it do not have other/enough friends. The men, I assume, want to add another notch to their harem or want to keep a just in case girl.

Though I may wish the best for an ex boyfriend, he is and will remain that an ex boyfriend.
 
LiftedUp said:
I suppose that it's a case by case, relationship by relationship situation. However, it is not necessary. I hate when exes want to be friends? Why? It's annoying to me. The friendship ended when the relationship ended. Why do you think that I do not have other/enough friends as it is. Or maybe, women who agree to it do not have other/enough friends. The men, I assume, want to add another notch to their harem or want to keep a just in case girl.

Though I may wish the best for an ex boyfriend, he is and will remain that an ex boyfriend.
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Not everyone see's the end of relationships that way. Especially if it was an amicable break up.

If one person, or both people don't want to be friends then thats cool. If both want to stay in touch because a friendship bond is still there that's cool too.

ETA: I mean about the motivations not always being any deeper than just mutual like and care for each other.
I don't think I could be friends with my current SO because it would hurt too much and I don't want him as just a friend. First guy in a long time I've felt like this about since my first love:look:. <--We dont speak.:lol:
The exes I trust and have a great time with, but I don't find attractive.. Sure I'll catch up with them occasionally as long as they have moved on too. Why not.
 
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It may be possible for some ppl, but I just don't care to. It's not worth the work to me (setting boundaries, convincing current SOs that it's cool despite our history etc). Nah, I'll be cordial but that's it :yep:.
 
i dont want to be friends with any of my exes. my most recent ex made a better friend than boyfriend but i think he doesnt deserve my friendship. so one way or another for me something makes the answer no.
 
carcajada said:
No. Cordial, yes. But friends? No. I tried it and it ended with him trying to police who I was with. He also let his pervy side come out and asked me for a video of me nursing ds2. :blush: :nono:Nasty *****.
Click to expand...



I'm sorry...........what?!?!? :perplexed
 
This particular ex is someone who left to be with an ex to try again. i think they are incredibly stupid for their choice (because of their history) and I know that I am entirely incapable of being respectful of their new relationship. I have a habit of acting familiar with someone I have had sex with, but they are so sure that we can be great friends because our relationship was good. I cant convince them otherwise, but really, I dont get it

I'm going to allow them to think that we are friends if that makes them feel good...but really they will be ignored...I am not here to be in your back pocket after a relationship.
 
Why? Cordial yes, but why a continued friendship?

The only exes I've had any contact with after the end of the relationship were those that I didn't have serious feelings for to begin with. And then it's cordial but I don't call them, hang out with them, etc. Again....why?
 
Mortons said:
This particular ex is someone who left to be with an ex to try again. i think they are incredibly stupid for their choice (because of their history) and I know that I am entirely incapable of being respectful of their new relationship. I have a habit of acting familiar with someone I have had sex with, but they are so sure that we can be great friends because our relationship was good. I cant convince them otherwise, but really, I dont get it

I'm going to allow them to think that we are friends if that makes them feel good...but really they will be ignored...I am not here to be in your back pocket after a relationship.
Click to expand...

Sounds like they're trying to ease their own conscience by being friends with you now, after abandoning the relationship to me.
 
There was a quote floating around I saw on Tumblr that I believe to be true.

"If two past lovers can remain friends, it's either they are still in love, or never were."
 
I think it's possible but it depends on what kind of relationship it was.

I find that some of my past relationships were more passionate than others. I could be friends with the guys that I had lukewarm feelings for (if I was not married). The 2 that I really felt passionate about and felt that I loved deeply, no, I could not be friends with them.
 
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