Can I get some translation?

[Vinyl]

I saw my ex today on a game we both play (we haven't spoken in around a month), and we started talking about roommates. He told me that "best friend roommates are great, and casual girlfriend roommates are exceptional."

I didn't know what the heck a casual girlfriend was, so I asked my boyfriend, who also didn't know. I then asked my ex what a casual girlfriend was, to which he replied, "a casual girlfriend." I asked him where that ranked on the scale of "best friend <-> girlfriend," he said, "What?" and I said, "I don't know, that was <boyfriend's name>'s question, not mine." (Which it was.)

He responded with "conversation over." I asked him what I said wrong and he said, "you have no idea who or what you are." What does that mean? I don't really understand it's connection to anything.

I'm just so confused right now... What did that have to do with roommates? It seems that there's some underlying problem, but I can't figure it out for the life of me, and I can't figure out what he meant by that, or what was wrong with what I said.

 

[MD_Lady]

I saw my ex today on a game we both play (we haven't spoken in around a month), and we started talking about roommates. He told me that "best friend roommates are great, and casual girlfriend roommates are exceptional."

I didn't know what the heck a casual girlfriend was, so I asked my boyfriend, who also didn't know. I then asked my ex what a casual girlfriend was, to which he replied, "a casual girlfriend." I asked him where that ranked on the scale of "best friend <-> girlfriend," he said, "What?" and I said, "I don't know, that was <boyfriend's name>'s question, not mine." (Which it was.)

He responded with "conversation over." I asked him what I said wrong and he said, "you have no idea who or what you are." What does that mean? I don't really understand it's connection to anything.

I'm just so confused right now... What did that have to do with roommates? It seems that there's some underlying problem, but I can't figure it out for the life of me, and I can't figure out what he meant by that, or what was wrong with what I said.

It sounds like your ex was trying to get back with you, assumed/hoped you'd be on the same page, and was upset to find that you were already taken and not interested.

 

[BackToMyRoots]

I wouldn't try to figure it out. If I read correctly you have a boyfriend, just move on. I'm as confused by your post as you are. Ex sounds childish.

 

[CandiceC]

It sounds like your ex was trying to get back with you, assumed/hoped you'd be on the same page, and was upset to find that you were already taken and not interested.

I was thinking this too.

 

[Much2much41]

I saw my ex today on a game we both play (we haven't spoken in around a month), and we started talking about roommates. He told me that "best friend roommates are great, and casual girlfriend roommates are exceptional."

I didn't know what the heck a casual girlfriend was, so I asked my boyfriend, who also didn't know. I then asked my ex what a casual girlfriend was, to which he replied, "a casual girlfriend." I asked him where that ranked on the scale of "best friend <-> girlfriend," he said, "What?" and I said, "I don't know, that was <boyfriend's name>'s question, not mine." (Which it was.)

He responded with "conversation over." I asked him what I said wrong and he said, "you have no idea who or what you are." What does that mean? I don't really understand it's connection to anything.

I'm just so confused right now... What did that have to do with roommates? It seems that there's some underlying problem, but I can't figure it out for the life of me, and I can't figure out what he meant by that, or what was wrong with what I said.

He sounds like he wants to be Mufasa . Don't try to translate that which only makes sense in Disney movies.

 

[Puddles]

It sounds like your ex was trying to get back with you, assumed/hoped you'd be on the same page, and was upset to find that you were already taken and not interested.

basically .

 

[Vinyl]

I don't think that's it... It wasn't the first time I'd mentioned my boyfriend, and I never directly said I was taken (was trying to avoid something like this happening.)

 

[Much2much41]

I don't think that's it... It wasn't the first time I'd mentioned my boyfriend, and I never directly said I was taken (was trying to avoid something like this happening.)

Do you want to get back with him? If so, I'd ask him to more precise. If not, I wouldn't be bothered to try figuring it out.

 

[Vinyl]

No, I'm not interested in him romantically. I was just hoping we could be friends again. It's harder for me to let go of the friendship than it is the relationship.

 

[itismehmmkay]

He wanted you to know that he was having sex w/ his roomate (assuming he was talking about a current roomate). When you mentioned your BF he got upset and started w/ randomness :crazy: I don't think you should even be talking to him

 

[MD_Lady]

No, I'm not interested in him romantically. I was just hoping we could be friends again. It's harder for me to let go of the friendship than it is the relationship.

I know it's hard, but a clean break is best... take it from someone who knows.

 

[SouthernStunner]

For some reason that is not what I got out of the conversation. He said "casual girlfriend" to me that kind of sounds like we kick it but not exclusively sort of like "friends with privileges'. Then when you mentioned you had a boyfriend (you danced around it before but now you actually claim a boyfrined) he got upset that you had moved on and that hurt him. A for some men when they hurt they want to hurt you thus the thing about you dont know what you want or who you are.

I really wouldn't care about it too much because in trying to make you a "casual girlfriend" he downgraded you and his feelings for you. NEVER take a step down.

HTH

 

[tocktick]

sounds like some childish ish. who really cares what you ex means by "casual girlfriends"? although, i think he answered your question adequately enough the first time. it seems like you were low-key upset about there possibly being a new prospect on the horizon for him.

imo, he wanted you to get worked up and to see how much power he still holds over you. it seems you fell for it hook, line and sinker, even getting new SO in on this (that really confuses the heck out of me). when you have an ex and are also in a new relationship, there are certain boundaries that need to be established. don't discuss relationships with him again unless you permanently want to be left in a state of confusion and stupidity.

 

[Country gal]

He wanted you to know that he was having sex w/ his roomate (assuming he was talking about a current roomate). When you mentioned your BF he got upset and started w/ randomness :crazy: I don't think you should even be talking to him

That's what I got. His causal relationship, is some girl that is helping him foot the bills because she probably thinks it is serious.

 

[Vinyl]

I didn't ask because I was upset about it; it's just that when we were together, he was very big on committed relationships and would look down on people who didn't share that view. It's completely out of character for him to have a "casual girlfriend" in the normal sense of the term, so it confused me.

 

[Ladyhenri]

I saw my ex today on a game we both play (we haven't spoken in around a month), and we started talking about roommates. He told me that "best friend roommates are great, and casual girlfriend roommates are exceptional."

I didn't know what the heck a casual girlfriend was, so I asked my boyfriend, who also didn't know. I then asked my ex what a casual girlfriend was, to which he replied, "a casual girlfriend." I asked him where that ranked on the scale of "best friend <-> girlfriend," he said, "What?" and I said, "I don't know, that was <boyfriend's name>'s question, not mine." (Which it was.)

He responded with "conversation over." I asked him what I said wrong and he said, "you have no idea who or what you are." What does that mean? I don't really understand it's connection to anything.

I'm just so confused right now... What did that have to do with roommates? It seems that there's some underlying problem, but I can't figure it out for the life of me, and I can't figure out what he meant by that, or what was wrong with what I said.

In the nicest way possible,
Why do you care what he means? Surely your priority should be you and your present boyfriend? and not trying to figure out what your ex is on about?(especially when he is obviously playing some kind of dumb mind game on you)
Bit puzzled

 

[Vinyl]

Mostly just because I wanted to at least try to be friends with him again.

 

[Mitre]

He responded with "conversation over." I asked him what I said wrong and he said, "you have no idea who or what you are." What does that mean? I don't really understand it's connection to anything.
.

I am very angry how dare your ex tell you this. Your ex has a controlling personality. How can your ex or anyone tell you that you have no idea who you are. That is a very disrespectfully, untrue and controlling blanketed statement. Only you can decide who you are; no one else can. Your ex is defining you; he is telling you who you are and what you think. When you voices a thought he informs you that you are wrong or inadequate so he attacks you. I bet in the past he never really had heard or seen you for who you are; hence, why you guys are now ex. Then again I may be wrong. You need to set your ex straight and refuse to accept his definition of you. Your ex sound like a controller to me. Your ex has anchor his pretend version of you into you. His image of you is that of a pretend person who drifts into you from your ex mind. Thus when your ex view you he does not see you but the pretend person.

" diminishing and fighting against an authentic person is something controllers are used to doing, and when they convince someone else of their confabulation ( made up thought or person in the controller mind) or when meet with no resistance, they feel their rightness is confirm. Pretend persons equate to who the controller want you to be. Authentic person is who you are. Taken from Controlling People author Patricia Evans

 

[Vinyl]

Huh, I'd never thought of it that way before.

It's just hard for me to deal with because I've never lost someone who was a friend for that long before, and was that important to me before. Most of my friends my age are still friends with most of their exes (except him, actually. I should probably keep that one in mind.) so it makes me think... why can't I do that?

It's just hard to accept.

 

[Vinyl]

I talked to him again this morning, and he gave me a more clear reason. Apparantly he meant I was a drain on my friends and family and didn't realize it... Which actually doesn't make sense. He said "your mother hates you, your father despises you and your friends abandon you." Which... My Mother loves me. My father hasn't been active in my life, but he hasn't gotten the chance to know me... and my friends all love me. The only reason a friend's ever abandoned me was because I was being stupid about things regarding HIM...

... But hey, I feel better now, because I know that whatever view of me he's taken is completely inaccurate.

I'm sure I'll probably feel bad again later... but at least now, I can laugh about it a little.

 

[tocktick]

I didn't ask because I was upset about it; it's just that when we were together, he was very big on committed relationships and would look down on people who didn't share that view. It's completely out of character for him to have a "casual girlfriend" in the normal sense of the term, so it confused me.

even if this dude condemned everybody who had pre-marital sex and then went on a world-wide vagina binge when you were over, it wouldn't really be your business to know the reasons for this change. the reason being he is your ex and you're now in a new relationship; his sex and love life should no longer be of your concern, imo.

his actions may "confuse" you but it should not consume you! focus that energy on yourself and/or developing your existing relationship instead of trying to figure out an ex. you set yourself up and made yourself look foolish, imo. and then involving your bf in that too? such a no no.

i can understand that it was hard to lose not only a bf but a friend but you need to move on. even if it's not easy to let go mentally, you need to actively limit or stop contact.

 

[Vinyl]

I didn't "involve" my boyfriend in it; he already knew everything that was going on with my ex because he was one of the people I went to for comfort, before we started dating. Granted, I know that it's a no-no and I've already spoken to him about it.