Black women confront Chris Rock on Oprah Today

[jamaraa]

If his was film doing this based on/inspired by his daughter's hair issues, why shouldn't his wife be 1st and foremost in his mind? After all, she's the BW who's raising her and giving her these attitudes. (Nope, I don't buy that it was solely school that gave her these hangups). Not to mention his role in why his daughter feels this way. The problem w/ the concept of this film is that he plays it like it's a woman's issue solely. It isn't.

Ironically, back in the day..that long braid of Sade's hair was a weave.

I'm not sure if this was mentioned in this thread, but I did read about how he didn't deal w/ his wife in terms of this film. Why are strangers an issue, but his wife not? After all, she's raising their kids...along w/ him.

 

[Celestial]

If his was film doing this based on/inspired by his daughter's hair issues,

I don't think the film is based on or inspired by his daughter. The fact that his daughter asked why she doesn't have good hair made Chris Rock question women of why they so obsessed with their hair. He is already familiar with 'good' hair and 'bad' hair. He didn't need his daughter curiosity to enlighten him.

why shouldn't his wife be 1st and foremost in his mind?

I wouldn't know if his wife is or was 1st and foremost in his mind, and the film isn't about his wife per se. The film is about black women (in general) who are obsessed with weave and torture from chemical processess to get the 'good' hair look.

After all, she's the BW who's raising her and giving her these attitudes. (Nope, I don't buy that it was solely school that gave her these hangups).

Indirectly the mother did help the daughter by not wearing her hair natural and walking around with long straight hair. However, outside influence has a greater impact than what is inside the home. Even his Chris' wife did where her hair natural I still think his daughter still would have admire the long flowing tresses of her classmates and asked the same question.

Not to mention his role in why his daughter feels this way.

I don't know that but I can imagine certain vocabulary that is being used around his children that he and his wife may say unconsciously and it doesn't have to be the term "good hair."

The problem w/ the concept of this film is that he plays it like it's a woman's issue solely. It isn't.

I don't know but I do agree it is more of a black women issue and he interacts with black women and know more about black women than other racial groups, so I don't see the logic in him making a movie about white women and hair weaves especially when they don't wear them for the same reason black women wear them.

Ironically, back in the day..that long braid of Sade's hair was a weave.

I already knew that since I saw her natural hair and it comes a few inches below the shoulders. However, black people were fooled by it because the long hair matches her look, i.e, light skin with a cute button nose.

I'm not sure if this was mentioned in this thread, but I did read about how he didn't deal w/ his wife in terms of this film.

The way he explained it to Wendy is that his wife gets argumentative and she will win. He didn't say that verbatim but it sound like he was saying he don't even bother to talk about it to his wife anymore. If she wants to wear purple hair then he will just accept that. That is what I got from the Wendy Williams show. It seems like he and his wife did or use to talk about it and heated arguments came about it.

Why are strangers an issue, but his wife not? After all, she's raising their kids...along w/ him.

It is a movie or documentary so strangers are okay. What is better than to talk to random people and get their opinions or belief. He did use people who aren't strangers but are entertainers and we see them on the big screen or on television.

 

[jamaraa]

Celestial his daughter's question DID inspire him to search into this and ultimately make ths film...he said so himself. I know this film isn't about his wife, but she's the woman closest to him and his daughter. Not including her is very odd.

Nobody's saying anything about him making a film about WW, hon. Where did I ever mention WW? I'm saying that it's a Black male issue too because of the pressure they put on women to do these things. Black men are a huge reason why BW do this....they can't be factored out. Not to mention how many men are paying for it....like Mr. Rock. You can't separate these facts.

Asking entertainers, of all people, DOESN'T WORK to give us any insight about Black women in general. Entertainers of all races have special issues on why they weave up or whatever. The hair of entertainers tells us little about average people, no matter the race.

 

[Celestial]

Nobody's saying anything about him making a film about WW, hon. Where did I ever mention WW?

Well I'm glad you didn't. Some black women think he should include ALL women who wear weaves.

I'm saying that it's a Black male issue too because of the pressure they put on women to do these things.

We are not going to agree on this. Black men are not putting pressure on black women to do these things. If black women were into impressing black men then they would get rid of the hair weave because black men don't like it. If they wanted to impress black men they would change their attitude, lose weight, and keep their hair clean and groom and wear it in a way that compliment their beauty, not distract from it.

Black men are a huge reason why BW do this....

We aren't going to disagree on this. Black women do this for themselves. They are not trying to impress a black man. If they want to impress a black man then they should ditch the weave and keep their real hair clean and properly groom.

they can't be factored out.

I think they can, but we will have to disagree on this one.

Not to mention how many men are paying for it....like Mr. Rock.

No black man is praying for any black women to wear weaves and braid extension. They are praying for the opposite like "I wish black women stop wearing those darn weaves and jacked-up looking braids."

You can't separate these facts.

Even though they aren't facts you still can separate facts from facts.

Asking entertainers, of all people, DOESN'T WORK to give us any insight about Black women in general.

Actually it does. Entertainers are part of the general black population and they all have their reasons to why they wear fake hair. He also spoke to random black women and men who make up the general black population.

Entertainers of all races have special issues on why they weave up or whatever.

I don't know if their issues are special. It seems like they all gave the same exact reasons those who aren't entertainers give, i.e, I want to protect my hair, My hair is growing out, I want to make people relax, I don't want my hair to offend anyone, etc...

The hair of entertainers tells us little about average people, no matter the race.

Entertainers are average people and they gave the same or similar reasons the average black population gives.

 

[msa]

We are not going to agree on this. Black men are not putting pressure on black women to do these things. If black women were into impressing black men then they would get rid of the hair weave because black men don't like it. If they wanted to impress black men they would change their attitude, lose weight, and keep their hair clean and groom and wear it in a way that compliment their beauty, not distract from it.

Are you a black woman? In all these conversations when you refer to black women it's always "they" or "them" or "you" and never "me" or "us".

Whether you are black or not, clinging to stereotypes isn't going to get you anywhere.

 

[jamaraa]

Celestial entertainers have to have their hair on point all the time. They get styled for everything. IOW, they face far more manipulation than your average person and many times get weaves, wear, wigs, or have very short hair to avoid the damage to their real hair. This is true of Black and Whites....LOL, do you follow fashion? If you did, you SEE what they do to those girl's heads. It's amazing they have ANY hair left.

Nope...celebs are not good for any argument. Their circumstances are diferent. LOL..how many women do you know who have a hairdresser at their disposal 24/7 like Oprah? Get real.

BTW, I said nothing about BM PRAYING for weaves, but PAYING for them. Big diff....read carefully, it's fundamental. Well some of them probably ARE praying that the woman in their life gets a weave, relaxer, etc. LOL

One more thing....exactly how do you know what will "impress" BM? Last I checked, they are individuals. (Save that weight and attitude stuff for the appropriate forum) However many of them are individuals who DEMAND for BW to do certain things to their hair and pay for it.

 

[jamaraa]

Are you a black woman? In all these conversations when you refer to black women it's always "they" or "them" or "you" and never "me" or "us".

Whether you are black or not, clinging to stereotypes isn't going to get you anywhere.

Methinks she's/he's a kid....yup a Black one. Blacks are often the most insistant on pushing stereotpes on other Blacks, sadly. Her/he convos always seem familiar w/ the topics at hand, but from a very limited point of view. She/he clearly knows few BW who aren't one way in her real life.

 

[AnKelly]

I found some of the things Chris Rock said to be disrespectful. On Oprah, he made a comment about her looking like a slave in her little girl picture with the natural pigtails, then saying "now you're free" in the picture with her hair blown out straight. I'm a hairstylist and I feel black women should wear their hair any way they want to as long as the underlying reason is not directly associated with self-hatred, an obsession to look like someone of another race, peer pressure, SO pressures, family pressure, or societal pressure. White Women never make excuses for the various experiments they do to their hair, they just get them, pay me for the service, and move on.

Maybe his obsession with weaves comes from his own insecurities about his wife who does in turn sport a very bad unnatural weave. Maybe he even insists that she wears it. You know, many black men, such as he who get into the entertainment industry account for pressures on black women. Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against light skinned BW or women of any other race, (because everyone including my husband, son , and mother are totally mixed up with a hodge podge of things), but I can't help but notice the light bright syndrome of women wrapped around these men arms with straight hair as soon as they reach celebrity status. Most of these men are color struck and hair obsessed thinking that lighter skin and straighter hair is better especially when it comes to having children so they go mate with someone to offset their blackness.

Chris claims all men care about is the waist to a$$ ratio. I beg to differ greatly because I've seen and heard differently from black, white, arab, and latino men.

 

[infojunkie]

I've been watching this thread since it first jumped off and had no desire to participate since I haven't seen the movie, am not sure if I will, am not home to catch Oprah, nor do I have a DVR to tape any of the shows. I finally read it in its entirety today because I wondered what on Earth could inspire a 308 post article with C. Rock at the heart.

I'm glad I stumbled in. I've been enlightened by some of the women participating in this discussion and was pleasantly surprised by the train derailment (LOL). I've made notes of a few things to follow up on and will be keeping my left eye on this thread for future developments.

Loving the discussion, carry on.

(I see ya, Jamarra!)

 

[AsianAfricanPrincess]

Methinks she's/he's a kid....yup a Black one. Blacks are often the most insistant on pushing stereotpes on other Blacks, sadly. Her/he convos always seem familiar w/ the topics at hand, but from a very limited point of view. She/he clearly knows few BW who aren't one way in her real life.

Okay, I was going to advise against even pursuing any real discourse with this person, but you're already keen to what's going on so I'll just fall back.

 

[casey3035]

I feel that Chris put us on blast without bringing attention to the fact that every race wears weave/extentions or whatever they choose to call it.Oprah showed things about black and whites doing 'un-natural' things to their hair.Chris only focused on us-as everyone does. Im sorry but I have always known white women-especially in the 80's that chemically changed their hair with a 'permanent'which makes their hair curly. We get a Jerri curl and it's a problem. Whites get that Brazillian hair straightener thats fine-we get a relaxer and we are 'trying to be white'. We get extra hair put in and the joke is on us because we where weave??? But when whites get extra hair they're just 'saving they're hair'...if we dare use bleaching cream to get rid of skin discoloration-we wanna be white but whites Tan all day long and spray in on in the winter-but...not a problem.No one says they are trying to look black.
I am just tired of others trying to make a mochary of us and then other AA join in. I just think we should not be judged about our hair care practices but maybe re-directed on our hair care practices. I would love to have Oprahs stylist show us exactly what he does to her natural hair everyday -it does look good but educate us-don't try and make fools of us...intentionally or not, I felt we were made out to look like poor black women without a pot to piss in but willing to pay thousands of dollars for weave. The one stylist said a weave job from her cost $1000, but let's face it- the average woman does not pay anything close to that when she sits in a chair for a weave...It seems like nothing we do is ok until a white person does it then...maybe.....Sorry so long ladies. And I am not being racist as my husband is 100% Caucasian but a spade is a spade....

 

[jamaraa]

I feel that Chris put us on blast without bringing attention to the fact that every race wears weave/extentions or whatever they choose to call it.Oprah showed things about black and whites doing 'un-natural' things to their hair.Chris only focused on us-as everyone does. Im sorry but I have always known white women-especially in the 80's that chemically changed their hair with a 'permanent'which makes their hair curly. We get a Jerri curl and it's a problem. Whites get that Brazillian hair straightener thats fine-we get a relaxer and we are 'trying to be white'. We get extra hair put in and the joke is on us because we where weave??? But when whites get extra hair they're just 'saving they're hair'...if we dare use bleaching cream to get rid of skin discoloration-we wanna be white but whites Tan all day long and spray in on in the winter-but...not a problem.No one says they are trying to look black.
I am just tired of others trying to make a mochary of us and then other AA join in. I just think we should not be judged about our hair care practices but maybe re-directed on our hair care practices. I would love to have Oprahs stylist show us exactly what he does to her natural hair everyday -it does look good but educate us-don't try and make fools of us...intentionally or not, I felt we were made out to look like poor black women without a pot to piss in but willing to pay thousands of dollars for weave. The one stylist said a weave job from her cost $1000, but let's face it- the average woman does not pay anything close to that when she sits in a chair for a weave...It seems like nothing we do is ok until a white person does it then...maybe.....Sorry so long ladies. And I am not being racist as my husband is 100% Caucasian but a spade is a spade....

My grandmother was trippin' over that $1,000 thing. I know Ellen Levar charged like that (she does Naomi Campbell's weave). It was like they found the most melodramatic things to focus on. Of course, Oprah's middle name is "Melodramatic and Banal".

You're right about the double standards. Too many people feel they have a right to question/comment on BW about their choices, but not WW. It's totally hypocritical.

 

[Bachelorette]

Agbani Darego!! Miss something from Africa

The hell? That's Agbeni?? That twit's Nigerian. Rofl

She looks NOTHING like that now.

 

[Bachelorette]

Sorry, I just wanted to ask one more question...especially since some people thanked you on this: you mentioned, "the ones that have HISTORY with Arabs will most likely have the features". Do the Arabs have their features? Or do they (any group) have Arab features? If so, why?? Why do the Arabs not have THEIR (Africans) features?

Again, I don't understand this...

Foremost, I find it odd that you look at the amount of thanks a post gets, I wasnt even aware.

But to answer the question, most Arabs have a distinct look, they have their features, mosy of the people from those parts of Africa where the Arabs ruled over have that particular look due to mingling or i should say raping and pillaging.

To be honest I dont call African Arabs, African cos majority of them deny being African so whatever.

Do you question it when people say some black people have "white features"?

 

[AsianAfricanPrincess]

Foremost, I find it odd that you look at the amount of thanks a post gets, I wasnt even aware.

Hey Bachelorette. You can see the amount of "thanks" that a post gets by simply looking at the end/bottom of the particular post.

As for the other questions you asked, I mentioned earlier that this is not the place for me to engage in this sort of discourse. The women here who were ready, knowledgeable, open, and receptive were encouraging and vocal and kind enough to big up what we had to say or even mention that our discourse was interesting or eye-opening (or they simply took it in and derived what they needed). However, there are many of us who are not ready to stop handing over what is ours. For those, I realize I'm beating a dead horse (for lack of better words), and I simply focus on those women who are open.

In addition, since this is my area of study, I prefer to have these conversations in an academic setting.

 

[Celestial]

Celestial entertainers have to have their hair on point all the time. They get styled for everything. IOW, they face far more manipulation than your average person and many times get weaves, wear, wigs, or have very short hair to avoid the damage to their real hair. This is true of Black and Whites....LOL, do you follow fashion? If you did, you SEE what they do to those girl's heads. It's amazing they have ANY hair left.

Nope...celebs are not good for any argument. Their circumstances are diferent. LOL..how many women do you know who have a hairdresser at their disposal 24/7 like Oprah? Get real.

BTW, I said nothing about BM PRAYING for weaves, but PAYING for them. Big diff....read carefully, it's fundamental. Well some of them probably ARE praying that the woman in their life gets a weave, relaxer, etc. LOL

One more thing....exactly how do you know what will "impress" BM? Last I checked, they are individuals. (Save that weight and attitude stuff for the appropriate forum) However many of them are individuals who DEMAND for BW to do certain things to their hair and pay for it.

If you noticed I made several typos and I really did meant black men are PRAYING for black women to ditch the weaves. If you would have read carefully you would have noticed several errors and typos, but you did get it.

 

[Ms Kain]

We don't suffer from a lack of quality products and salons. Some people are just lazy about hair care.

Actually many of us aren't lazy and really do suffer from a lack of quality hair salons and products. I'm originally from NY and have also lived in Atlanta for 9 years. In these cities there are BSSs on every corner, magazines on hair care and in NY in particular, there were so many Dominican hair salons or quality salons in general that I could stand just about anywhere and throw a rock and it was sure to land on a quality salon!

Fast forward to when I moved out to Phoenix, AZ and let me tell you it is a NIGHTMARE out here! We're only 5% of the whole population and there are very few stores out here that cater to our products. Many of us have to drive miles just to get the products that work on our hair! Then when we get there, there's usually the old standby's (They Dark 'n Lovely us to death out here) and when you ask them where you can get certain products, they'll usually give you a blank stare and tell you to go to Sally's (Which at the time didn't have a line of products for 4a-c type hair).

I know there are some hair stylists out here who would be offended by me saying this but in Phoenix, seriously, I haven't met any hair stylist from Phoenix that knows how to style hair much less treat it in a healthy way. I had one lady who really thought she was going to relax my hair and then put a straightening comb through it to "polish it up"......no ma'am....not on my hair! Another one tried to put so much product in my hair that it almost felt like primer or wall paint! Another apparently didn't know what an 1/8 of an inch was when I asked her for a trim....I could go on but you get the point!

Since that time I have found a Dominican hairstylist who I absolutely love and with the ability to order online, stores finally starting to carry lines for our hair and this forum, I am finally starting to see a healthy change!

So all of this to say that most of us aren't lazy but we just don't have the knowledge or the right products to help facilitate hair growth and it shows....

and that's why some uninformed people like Chris Rock are under the impression that Black women can't grow hair. They see them and assume that's the situation with all of us. Of course if they happen to see an AA sista with healthy long hair then the first assumption is that she has a weave or as Chris says,"She must be OPRAH rich."

Whateva Chris. What-eva!

 

[jamaraa]

If you noticed I made several typos and I really did meant black men are PRAYING for black women to ditch the weaves. If you would have read carefully you would have noticed several errors and typos, but you did get it.

Black men pay for weaves, wigs, relaxers, beauty products, and trips to the natural salon for the women in their lives sometimes. That's true and it's life. Who else questions this but you?

 

[Ms Kain]

I am absolutely befuddled.

Why is it that when 'we' get the spotlight on 'us' the natural instinct is to fall back to what everybody else is doing?

I can show up in any predominantly black neighborhood in this country and see some form of fake hair. Period. And it's not going to be any special 'hide your healthy hair under a weave day' either.

The reality is that weaves, wigs and relaxer are a part of the majority of AA's lives and I don't care how many waistlength naturals you know personally, the dollars spent by the black community on those products tell a different story.

If this movie was about white womens hair I wouldn't give a damn. I went to see it because it was about women like me, who look like me and who have the same cosmetic issues/challenges that I do. If 'we' are going to be the biggest opponents of movies that are about us and our issues then 'we' also can't complain when nobody makes movies about us and our issues.

You know, back when I was a kid my Grandmother would often tell me that “not all attention is good attention”. Meaning that sometimes it’s better not to have attention if that attention is going to place you in a negative light. So with that in mind I think that what many of us are trying to say is that even though the light is being shined on us it doesn’t mean anything if what is being said about us is negative, inaccurate or incomplete.

Something else to consider is this. Do you remember the standup that Chris did some time back when he was talking about how Black women tend to go to clubs and dance to lyrics that degrade us? He basically said that we’ll do this despite the fact that every lyric reduces us to sexual objects not worthy of respect. He basically said that as long as the rapper puts a hot beat behind it, BW will ignore what’s said and dance to it anyway.

Well, to me this is no different. Only this time it’s Chris instead of rappers and instead of a tyte beat, he feels that as long as he sprinkles his “documentary” with comedy, we’ll be distracted and we won’t say anything or even notice that he’s making negative, inaccurate, incomplete or sweeping generalizations about us. I swear, I have nothing against the man but I have noticed that ever since it leaked out that he and his wife were at one time considering divorce, he’s come off pretty harsh to BW and it makes me wonder if he’s got some new found anger issues. Oh well.

But the point is that just because many of us don’t appreciate what Chris said doesn’t mean that we’re opposed to supporting movies about us. It’s just that if we are going to support something about ourselves then it should be something that is well rounded, complete and accurate. However, if it’s an incomplete portrayal or a broad generalizations of black women then all we’re doing is dancing to something that degrades us…..or in Chris’ case we’re accepting negativity just because it’s neatly gift wrapped in comedy. I’ll speak for myself when I say that comedy does not distract me from the fact that a man who looks like us did more harm than good and we are worth way more than that. *****

 

[Ms Kain]

Excuse me if I upset anyone but for some reason alot of the times on LHCF I think we ladies be actin 'brand new'. I think that the smarter you get, the more knowledge you have acquired, the wiser you are, the less in touch with the 'real world' you become. Hence why very smart people aren't the biggest social bugs. So I think that a lot of our responses regarding 'why is it automatically assumed that black women are wearing weave?' is due mostly to the fact that we're on LHCF so we all know & have seen the 'real' deal with black hair (it grows, its beautiful & etc..). I don't think this supports the whole 'its regional thing' concept because prior to LHCF I'm sure a good percentage of us assumed that some black hair grew, some black hair didn't based on what we have been told. So regardless if you've seen WL black girls or not, you probably just assumed that God blessed them with a special white girl gene & left you out (atleast thats what I assumed).

....... I mean think about whats 'long hair' in our community vs. 'long hair' in other communities. Most black women drool over SL hair. Sure most people in general across nations don't have WL, but I mean taking it back to the days where I knew nothing about hair care..the deal was white women (& other races) CHOSE the length they wanted, and black women were cursed with the length they had. Isn't that the mindset? White women get to choose if they want to be chewed up EL, NL, SL, MBL, WL & etc.. I mean sure now that I know better I know that black women CHOOSE where they want to be & we're not cursed..& some white women have trouble passing SL but regardless of what I know, the numbers show that there are more black women with chewed up short hair than chewed up long hair or healthy long hair...

Wow, you know what? I never stopped to think about that! That's a good point! We know because we are here.....they don't know because they aren't here......

But my only thing is that people who make films and want to call them "documentaries" should make it their business to learn every aspect of the topic they are trying to cover. All he had to do was alittle Googling to find places like this. After all, we did!

But still, that point you made was hard hitting. Sometimes people don't know what they don't know! Nicely done!

 

[kinkycotton]

I am absolutely befuddled.

Why is it that when 'we' get the spotlight on 'us' the natural instinct is to fall back to what everybody else is doing?

I can show up in any predominantly black neighborhood in this country and see some form of fake hair. Period. And it's not going to be any special 'hide your healthy hair under a weave day' either.

The reality is that weaves, wigs and relaxer are a part of the majority of AA's lives and I don't care how many waistlength naturals you know personally, the dollars spent by the black community on those products tell a different story.

If this movie was about white womens hair I wouldn't give a damn. I went to see it because it was about women like me, who look like me and who have the same cosmetic issues/challenges that I do. If 'we' are going to be the biggest opponents of movies that are about us and our issues then 'we' also can't complain when nobody makes movies about us and our issues.

The bolded hit the nail right on the head... for me at least. There's some natural forums with pissed off ladies because Chris Rock message wasn't "relaxers isn't healthy".
I am natural (and coming up my year anniversary soon ) and still spending money on hair products in search of the "holy grail" of conditioners. His main objective was to play a neutral role by looking at the bigger picture..money, dollars that AA women INVEST in their hair. I WANT to see this movie for this reason alone.

Now,what I'm hearing is he didn't put a spotlight AA women who has long natural hair. If you compare the two women with weaves is the majority and I'm taking about the ones who doesn't wear as a protective style.

I can't wait to see this movie, I'm sure it will be an eye opener on this BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY and great laughs too.

Thank You.

 

[almond eyes]

Most of these natural-afro textured hair products were created by black people (black women) like Qhemet Biologics, Carol's Daughter, Nubian Heritage etc and this is a recent trend. The point is when we keep money in the black community then we can concentrate on building our communities. Other races do that, we as black people do not which is why poverty is rampant. However, black women still predominately spend money on relaxers and weaves that are mostly white and Asian owned businesses.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[kinkycotton]

Excuse me if I upset anyone but for some reason alot of the times on LHCF I think we ladies be actin 'brand new'. I think that the smarter you get, the more knowledge you have acquired, the wiser you are, the less in touch with the 'real world' you become. Hence why very smart people aren't the biggest social bugs. So I think that a lot of our responses regarding 'why is it automatically assumed that black women are wearing weave?' is due mostly to the fact that we're on LHCF so we all know & have seen the 'real' deal with black hair (it grows, its beautiful & etc..). I don't think this supports the whole 'its regional thing' concept because prior to LHCF I'm sure a good percentage of us assumed that some black hair grew, some black hair didn't based on what we have been told. So regardless if you've seen WL black girls or not, you probably just assumed that God blessed them with a special white girl gene & left you out (atleast thats what I assumed).
truth.

#myopinion

nicely put!

 

[AtlantaJJ]

White women have been wearing weaves for years and years; ask Paris Hilton, Pam Anderson, and a few years ago Posh Spice Beckham just to name a couple off the top of my head. I haven't seen any of these shows but I'm sure they forgot to mention this fact.

 

[spelmanlocks]

At the end of the movie, Chris Rock does briefly mention that white women wear weaves and shows pictures of Paris Hilton and some other white ladies who are weave wearers. Personally, I think he did a great job with his movie. I took my hubby to see it and he really learned a lot. He left the theater saying our daughter will never get a relaxer until she's grown and out the house.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

You know, back when I was a kid my Grandmother would often tell me that “not all attention is good attention”. Meaning that sometimes it’s better not to have attention if that attention is going to place you in a negative light. So with that in mind I think that what many of us are trying to say is that even though the light is being shined on us it doesn’t mean anything if what is being said about us is negative, inaccurate or incomplete.

Something else to consider is this. Do you remember the standup that Chris did some time back when he was talking about how Black women tend to go to clubs and dance to lyrics that degrade us? He basically said that we’ll do this despite the fact that every lyric reduces us to sexual objects not worthy of respect. He basically said that as long as the rapper puts a hot beat behind it, BW will ignore what’s said and dance to it anyway.

Well, to me this is no different. Only this time it’s Chris instead of rappers and instead of a tyte beat, he feels that as long as he sprinkles his “documentary” with comedy, we’ll be distracted and we won’t say anything or even notice that he’s making negative, inaccurate, incomplete or sweeping generalizations about us. I swear, I have nothing against the man but I have noticed that ever since it leaked out that he and his wife were at one time considering divorce, he’s come off pretty harsh to BW and it makes me wonder if he’s got some new found anger issues. Oh well.

But the point is that just because many of us don’t appreciate what Chris said doesn’t mean that we’re opposed to supporting movies about us. It’s just that if we are going to support something about ourselves then it should be something that is well rounded, complete and accurate. However, if it’s an incomplete portrayal or a broad generalizations of black women then all we’re doing is dancing to something that degrades us…..or in Chris’ case we’re accepting negativity just because it’s neatly gift wrapped in comedy. I’ll speak for myself when I say that comedy does not distract me from the fact that a man who looks like us did more harm than good and we are worth way more than that. *****

Have you seen the movie?

I don't know how any of this can be taken from what I sat in the theater and watched.

 

[beans4reezy]

You know, back when I was a kid my Grandmother would often tell me that “not all attention is good attention”. Meaning that sometimes it’s better not to have attention if that attention is going to place you in a negative light. So with that in mind I think that what many of us are trying to say is that even though the light is being shined on us it doesn’t mean anything if what is being said about us is negative, inaccurate or incomplete.

Something else to consider is this. Do you remember the standup that Chris did some time back when he was talking about how Black women tend to go to clubs and dance to lyrics that degrade us? He basically said that we’ll do this despite the fact that every lyric reduces us to sexual objects not worthy of respect. He basically said that as long as the rapper puts a hot beat behind it, BW will ignore what’s said and dance to it anyway.

Well, to me this is no different. Only this time it’s Chris instead of rappers and instead of a tyte beat, he feels that as long as he sprinkles his “documentary” with comedy, we’ll be distracted and we won’t say anything or even notice that he’s making negative, inaccurate, incomplete or sweeping generalizations about us. I swear, I have nothing against the man but I have noticed that ever since it leaked out that he and his wife were at one time considering divorce, he’s come off pretty harsh to BW and it makes me wonder if he’s got some new found anger issues. Oh well.

But the point is that just because many of us don’t appreciate what Chris said doesn’t mean that we’re opposed to supporting movies about us. It’s just that if we are going to support something about ourselves then it should be something that is well rounded, complete and accurate. However, if it’s an incomplete portrayal or a broad generalizations of black women then all we’re doing is dancing to something that degrades us…..or in Chris’ case we’re accepting negativity just because it’s neatly gift wrapped in comedy. I’ll speak for myself when I say that comedy does not distract me from the fact that a man who looks like us did more harm than good and we are worth way more than that. *****

Excellently put!

 

[isobell]

Our features are African. If there are features in Africans that are also present in Arabs, then they have OUR features. They don't own or have some monopoly on African features.

These are ours and if Arabs happen to also share them for some reason, then they should consider themselves fortunate to be blessed with our beauty.

You know I've always said this too! Although I am nigerian and my so is nigerian when I first met him he swore up and down that I had an asian ancestor, to the point of asking my mother about the family tree etc. my brother gets asked if he is half japanese all the time as well. Not to be funny or offensive to anyone who is mixed with other races but I always say grade A Nigerian! This is because I felt those comments were an effort to take away from me or from other africans by implying something considered beautiful in me MUST have been contributed by another race (not that race really means much). The fact is we (my family) can trace our family tree back several hundred years back and there is nary an asian person to be found...if early human originated in africa does it not stand to reason that an african person might potentially express any phenotype you might find on another continent? slanted eyes do not belong only to asians, and a nose with a more prominent bridge is not necessarily euro.

complete aside: hmm not to say that if you are of mixed race you should deny that either, it is part of who you are, to deny one part of you in an effort to profess your "blackness" to other's is imo completely disrespectful to those whose feelings should be more important to you, your family. to feel threatened when someone says my dad is middle eastern and my mother black speaks more of one's own feelings of perceived inferiority than anything else. after all the simple statement of racial makeup should not connote anything but the fact of the statement.

 

[Junebug D]

Have you seen the movie?

I don't know how any of this can be taken from what I sat in the theater and watched.

Seems like the people who haven't even seen it are the ones doing the most complaining about what's in it.

 

[jamaraa]

Hey Bachelorette. You can see the amount of "thanks" that a post gets by simply looking at the end/bottom of the particular post.

As for the other questions you asked, I mentioned earlier that this is not the place for me to engage in this sort of discourse. The women here who were ready, knowledgeable, open, and receptive were encouraging and vocal and kind enough to big up what we had to say or even mention that our discourse was interesting or eye-opening (or they simply took it in and derived what they needed). However, there are many of us who are not ready to stop handing over what is ours. For those, I realize I'm beating a dead horse (for lack of better words), and I simply focus on those women who are open.

In addition, since this is my area of study, I prefer to have these conversations in an academic setting.

Yes, some folks will always take the EASY route. Being discriminating wrt how you allocate your resources, what sort of nonsense you'll tolerate, etc are things that too many people (esp women) seem ready to just hand over. Why are they? It's easy to hand other people your brain to do your thinking for you.

When people stand up for foolishness and aren't bright enough to understand when they're being insulted, they can't complain much when they end up w/ nothing and the butt of jokes.