black women and slow hair growth....

[Afrolinda]

Some people think that we can not grow our hair long, a lot of black people get mad when those words come out of the mouth of a white woman. So do you consider this topic as a "taboo" in general?

 

[JinaRicci]

I don't think it's taboo- at least not to me. I would use it as an opportunity to correct the misconception. I just think it's a sore topic that srsly should only be brought up (for peace sake) by ppl who are comfortable enough to have the conversation- no matter the skin color.

 

[Nice Lady]

I think this can be at times a disheartening topic because of the vast amount of women who don't take care of their hair like the women on this board, and other hairboards. I think that best way to represent is to get my hair to long lengths that the truth is undeniable. I am tired of being shot down for telling people that black women can grow their hair long too(everytime, the room gets extremely quiet).

 

[Afrolinda]

I think this can be at times a disheartening topic because of the vast amount of women who don't take care of their hair like the women on this board, and other hairboards. I think that best way to represent is to get my hair to long lengths that the truth is undeniable. I am tired of being shot down for telling people that black women can grow their hair long too(everytime, the room gets extremely quiet).

So do you consider this topic a taboo amongst black women?

 

[Nice Lady]

For me it is not a taboo and I am open to hearing people talk. But I feel for some of our members on this board, it becomes a sensitive issue and people will be insulted and told off if they say anything contrary. But hell no it is not a taboo, I have had white people address it without me asking about it.

 

[JustKiya]

No, I don't consider it a taboo topic - it's a topic bred on misinformation. I like it when it comes up, and I am clear on the actual issues (it's not nature, it's nuture), and move on. Educate one, reach 100.

 

[HoneyA]

Depends on the situation... I wore my hair out sometime back and a white girl asked me in front of a whole bunch of other white people "Is that all your hair?" I looked at her blankly and she persisted, she said "I mean do you have extensions or is it your hair?" I just said "No, it's mine, no extensions here". Then she went on to explain why she asked, because she has a black friend who always wears extensions and had a different hair style every week. But in my head I was like wth...is she serious? But in the grand scheme of things it wasn't that serious, I didn't really respond, smiled politely, said "oh ok" and just KIM. I get that question from black women and white women, I just keep the answer short. I think it might be taboo among BW. I can talk about it freely with whoever is genuinely interested in hair care and growing their hair long but it's true that this is still a very sensitive topic for some of them.

 

[CurlyMoo]

I wouldn't say it's taboo but it does lead to intense discussions and someone offended or upset. Because the ignorance of our own hair is still prevelant.

 

[caribeandiva]

Let's face it. MOST black women don't have healthy hair much less LONG hair. It's not a taboo topic to me. It's the reality of the situation.

 

[Urban]

I really don't think it's a taboo topic at all. I think people just go by what they observe, and out there, the majority of black women don't have long hair, so the obvious conclusion for them is that black people normally can't grow long hair. It's normal for people to draw on correlations like this.

I wouldn't be offended at people asking if I'm wearing extensions either. Again they observe the majority of black women with short hair, and the majority of black women around them wearing extensions - so of course when they see someone who doesn't fit that mold, they're gonna ask!! No big deal. As HoneyA said, it just isn't that serious.

 

[Denise11]

I don't think it's taboo amongst black women. At least I don't think it should be.

But I do think that it's taboo coming from white women. I really don't think their intentions are good when they make comments like that about our hair.

 

[PinkSkates]

No, I don't consider it a taboo topic - it's a topic bred on misinformation. I like it when it comes up, and I am clear on the actual issues (it's not nature, it's nuture), and move on. Educate one, reach 100.

ITA JK!
It's not taboo and I actually welcome the topic when it comes up, because it gives me an opportunity to dispel some of the ignorant misconceptions about "our" hair and its growth potential.

 

[Hairsofab]

I think its a taboo subject among mixed company.

 

[Afrolinda]

Thank you for the responses ladies.

 

[lonelysky]

I don't think it's taboo amongst black women. At least I don't think it should be.

But I do think that it's taboo coming from white women. I really don't think their intentions are good when they make comments like that about our hair.

I don't think that it is wise to generalize, because there are some people who are just ignorant. However I do agree that there are some people that are like that.

I had (emphasis on had) a friend that was like that. It seemed like anytime hair came up (and in the context we were in hair came up a lot) she was quick to announce that black people can't grow long hair. There would be times when people would ask me how long my hair was or ask out of curiosity because they hadn't seen many black women with long hair. This girl would all but break her neck to announce to the group or whomever that black people couldn't grow long hair.

It became quite annoying, and to this day I think that she did it because she felt that was one area that she had something on me in. At the time we were friends her hair was MBL to WL and my hair was like Chin Length to CBL and eventually a thin SL.

 

[divya]

No, not taboo. It's still ignorance to me though...

 

[lonelysky]

Why is this such a stereotype? Is this an example of a stereotype following a group or a group following a stereotype?

 

[mstar]

Why is this such a stereotype? Is this an example of a stereotype following a group or a group following a stereotype?

I think the stereotype follows the group; as caribeandiva said above, most black women don't have healthy hair, let alone long hair...so it's only natural to assume that it's not possible. Before finding this forum, I didn't think it was possible, either. The only black women I'd ever known who had truly long hair were either mixed or light-skinned. LHCF represents the first time I've ever seen 4b women like myself with long, thick, full, healthy hair.

I simply didn't know, so there's no way I would expect a white person to know. But many black folks don't know, either. I had a conversation with a black hairdresser in March, and she was urging me to get a relaxer and a sew-in, because according to her, my hair would break off no matter what I did to it, so I may as well weave it up and look pretty.

 

[Almaz]

I'm black my hair goes like a weed its a myth. People are ignorant Thank G-d we have LHCF to dispel the BS

 

[lonelysky]

I think the stereotype follows the group; as caribeandiva said above, most black women don't have healthy hair, let alone long hair...so it's only natural to assume that it's not possible. Before finding this forum, I didn't think it was possible, either. The only black women I'd ever known who had truly long hair were either mixed or light-skinned. LHCF represents the first time I've ever seen 4b women like myself with long, thick, full, healthy hair.

I simply didn't know, so there's no way I would expect a white person to know. But many black folks don't know, either. I had a conversation with a black hairdresser in March, and she was urging me to get a relaxer and a sew-in, because according to her, my hair would break off no matter what I did to it, so I may as well weave it up and look pretty.

but srsly, I think that its sad that we (as a people group) are so ignorant about our hair.

 

[Nightingale]

It depends om how the topic comes up. I don't mind talking about it and correcting misconceptions, but if someone comes to me talking about,

"Why do you lie about black folks being able to grow their hair, when only mixed girls can have long hair?"

I won't waste my time.

 

[Nonie]

I haven't read the whole thread but the statement "black women's hair grows slowly" isn't taboo to me. Hair scientists have written this over and over again, and since I am no expert in trichology, I cannot argue with that; just like I have accepted that my strands are much weaker than those of my Asian peers. What I do have a problem with and refuse to even entertain is the assumption that our hair cannot grow to great lengths determined by the length of our Anagen phase just like all other races. How long it takes to get there is neither here nor there, as far as I'm concerned. (Which is why I keep telling people to stop worrying about setting deadlines but just do right by their hair and they will reap the fruits of their labor.) Rather than let talk of my "misfortunes" get me down, I choose to live by the Winner's Creed and encourage you all to do the same:

The Winner's Creed
If you think you are beaten...you are.
If you think you dare not, then you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't, it's almost certain you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you're lost.
Since out in our world we find success begins with a persons' will;
It's all in your state of mind.
Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster hand.
But sooner or later the person who wins is the one who thinks..."I CAN"!!!!

 

[luvn_life]

I think that its not taboo... I just think in the majority of the black community, it is unheard of. My friend told me when I was 14 that a black girls hair can NOT grow past her shoulders unless they are mixed. I just didn't think that was true. I was like how is that possible that our hair stops growing when it reaches our shoulders. And I broke that myth, and now I'm headed to Mid-back. I might even go to waist, just to show out. LOL. But, seriously I think that so many black women don't think its possible, that they just give up and believe that BS. But, I am trying to get through to people, one person at a time.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

It really does depend on the person. I take very good care of my hair. It's healthy and neat, shiny and beautiful. I eat well, exercise and drink lots of water. I do everything right. But the simple fact is that it took me well over a year to grow from a little past SL to full APL. Perhaps getting to BSL will be faster. I'm nearly there. But I know sisters and white women who's hair grows so fast. I still think genetics has a lot to do with it. I have slow-growing hair and that's that. I've learned to accept the fact that it's slow-growing and very, very fine.

 

[lonelysky]

It depends om how the topic comes up. I don't mind talking about it and correcting misconceptions, but if someone comes to me talking about,

"Why do you lie about black folks being able to grow their hair, when only mixed girls can have long hair?"

I won't waste my time.

 

[Denise11]

You're right about the generalizing. Because I shoulnt say that "all" people do anything, cause they are individual, therefore different.

But, we form our opinions partially by experience, and I know a whole lot of white folks, some family through marriage, and the ones that I have been in contact with, that asks questions like that, knew better. Most of them knew for sure that I've never had short hair, but they still asked those kinds of questions.

I don't think that it is wise to generalize, because there are some people who are just ignorant. However I do agree that there are some people that are like that.

I had (emphasis on had) a friend that was like that. It seemed like anytime hair came up (and in the context we were in hair came up a lot) she was quick to announce that black people can't grow long hair. There would be times when people would ask me how long my hair was or ask out of curiosity because they hadn't seen many black women with long hair. This girl would all but break her neck to announce to the group or whomever that black people couldn't grow long hair.

It became quite annoying, and to this day I think that she did it because she felt that was one area that she had something on me in. At the time we were friends her hair was MBL to WL and my hair was like Chin Length to CBL and eventually a thin SL.

 

[addaboutmyhair]

So I know black people can grow long hair, but does our hair gorw more slowly?
I'm talking for the average, not mixed black woman...

 

[lonelysky]

So I know black people can grow long hair, but does our hair gorw more slowly?
I'm talking for the average, not mixed black woman...

The average rate of growth is .5in in a month regardless of race. Asian women have slightly more, Caucasian women right at and Blacks slightly less. But this is on average, and I thik that the differences are minute.

 

[yuriko]

I don't think its a taboo for a white person to ask me one on one questions about black hair growth, weaves etc. But we all know that people are not always tactful.

I was once at a dinner party where a white boy asked one of my friends where her real hair stops and where the fake hair starts, LOL. It was a big party and he asked her in front of everyone. How would the average white person feel if you called them out on fake nails, fake eye lashes or other beauty treatments in front of a whole group of people? We may be black, but we also have feeling like anyone else. I am not a monkey in the zoo that exists to entertain people.

If you have a genuine question, then you would be tactful and ask it privately and politely. If not, its not ignorance, its just straight mean

 

[jahzyira]

Im jus saddened at how other races view our hair.....erplexed