Being Natural Is Something We Will Always Have to Ourselves

[cocosweet]

I never expected this...I thought the ladies on this board would end up feeling as beautiful as I felt, but I guess that just couldn't happen . No matter how many times my original post is picked apart, next time you look at a commercial with that BLACK WOMEN having a nice beautiful curly afro or next time you see that woman at work with BAA looking all FREE...that's what I'm talking about . We were taught to hate EVERYTHING about our African ancestry but this 'hair thing', we can embrace and be beautiful while doing it .

ETA: Some of you all can overanalyze this post if you like as well and some of you probably will but as time passes, some of you 'misunderstanders' will see exactly what I'm talking about! God Bless.

....

 

[ceebee3]

Yes, we'll always have nappy.

 

[MsBoinglicious]

OP I understood what you meant lol...

 

[SignatureBeauty]

I understand what you mean OP! I feel beautiful, even more beautiful being Natural, you walk straighter, feel more confident. My daughter has friends who wants their hair to be like hers and ask how can they do it lol!! Yes we do have the Natural,Kinky,Coily,Nappy,Twist,Fros,Puff etc.! We Will, ALWAYS have that!

 

[MahoganyJazz]

Never thought this thread would turn into a hair, race, and ethnicity dissertation. Even if you feel OP used the wrong words to describe what she meant, we all knew exactly what she was saying.

True, anyone in this world can have naturally straight, wavy, kinky, curly, thick, fine, or coarse hair. Heck, all or any of those combinations can be found on one head of hair. The majority of women any color obsess over their hair. But that's not the point trying to be made.

Women of color, no matter the race or ethnicity are expected to conform to a certain standard. But when we step outside of that boundary and leave our hair in its natural state there sometimes is an uproar. We are told our natural hair is outside of a business policy, not tamed enough for work, or not straight enough to fit in with everyone else in the office. Some have even been told that their hair is keeping them from a promotion.

Our struggle with our hair in it's natural state or not is what unifies us and makes us special one to another. It's a different type of bond, that can not be duplicated.

 

[JustKiya]

This thread is an excellent example of the importance of typing what you mean - esp. when communicating solely through words.

Sure, most of us fully understood what she meant. The debate arose over what she actually said - which was inaccurate.

If she had said something along the lines of "We're the only one whose natural hair has been belittled, ignored, considered disgusting, and considered better when it doesn't look like what we grow, but I am still proud of it's unique beauty, and I love the feeling of sisterhood in bucking the norm" ..... well, there wouldn't have been anything to debate.

But that's not what she said.

Even if it is what she meant.

 

[CherryCherryBoomBoom]

You know what? I know what OP meant, even if it wasn't written that clearly for some people. But I also think the thing is, that black women do have a versatile texture and do tend to do a lot more to their hair than any other race does. Like, many of us wear afros, or relax, wear braids, twists, weaves, pressed hair, etc. Then with other races who have looser textures, the majority of them don't do very much to their hair apart from dyeing and flat ironing. So it's not just our hair that's versatile, in a way it's our stylish minds too. Even if it's possible for white/asian/etc women to get their hair into an afro, not many of them bother, but a lot of us like to use chemicals and/or heat for straight styles.

 

[BostonMaria]

OMG YOU JUST SCARED THE POOP OUT OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[RMichelleM]

so, i've learned:

1. kinky hair is unique to black people.
2. kinky hair is not uniquie to black people. (a la the jew/irish/japanese fro)
3. kinky hair is "truly natural".
4. kinky hair is not "truly natural". (a la the japanese fro process)
5. lhcf likes for you to actually say what you actually mean lol
6. i wasn't the only one scared by the gum chewing blob

i dig it. *peace fingers*

 

[LadyAmani]

I knew what you meant to OP

 

[MahoganyJazz]

OMG YOU JUST SCARED THE POOP OUT OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please make sure you wipe good before your man notices your dookie stain when coloring.

Sorry, inside joke!

 

[CheLala13]

On another note, because I understood what the OP meant and this isn't a thread to nit pick and bring other people down, I LOVE when people admire the different styles I can do with my hair. I did a twistout, so it hangs more, and people are always saying "OMG your hair grew so long." I find that cute and I love that I can straighten my hair if I want. What I love is when people ask about how "hard" it is to maintain my hair and are surprised when I say it probably takes less than other races depending on the time. My roommates are non-black and wash, blowdry, and flat iron their hair every morning, I do not have to do that. My hair is care-free and I love it and I think that comes across.

 

[Mimi22]

so, i've learned:

1. kinky hair is unique to black people.
2. kinky hair is not uniquie to black people. (a la the jew/irish/japanese fro)
3. kinky hair is "truly natural".
4. kinky hair is not "truly natural". (a la the japanese fro process)
5. lhcf likes for you to actually say what you actually mean lol
6. i wasn't the only one scared by the gum chewing blob

i dig it. *peace fingers*

 

[LovelyNaps26]

if i know what someone means, even if technically what they said wasn't accurate, i just let it go. i take it in the spirit in which it was meant.sometimes getting tangled up in semantics leads to...well, it leads to threads that go 'round and 'round the merry go 'round.

example: (I probably said this too many times to count): "If it snows one more time in New England I'm never leaving my room." I assume others will understand that I will be upset if it snows but that I won't literally stay huddled in my room. I don't expect to be critiqued because my decision to not leave my room could lead to isolation, depression and possibly starvation.


sidenote: i'm not hatin' on the critical perspective 'cause technically it was true. also, OP, I have probably said what you mentioned in your post a gazillion times to myself. our hair is lovely.*


*By our, I am referring to women of color whose hair is in the 3c-4 type range. just thought i should be specific.

 

[Leesh]

Wow. Just. Wow!

When I read the subject of this thread, I knew EXACTLY what she meant and I never thought it would turn to what it did.


Now that the thrill is gone, so am I.

Chile! This is Status-Quo on here now, its become the norm, Just Pure negativity, in Damn near every thread You go in, You can't post Jack, no matter what its about, it can be the most positive, joyous topic, and someone will sure enough find someway to turn it around, This **** is sad and Ridiculous that a bunch of Grown-Behind Women can't even have a Freakin' Conversation without Beefin, like a bunch of Children, Foreal! erplexed

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

This is off-topic kind of, but why does everyone hate difference of opinion? Why is it that when someone thinks differently, they are beefing, hating or acting like children? This is a forum where people should feel comfortable speaking freely....why should everyone have to agree about everything all the time?

I can't talk for anyone else, but I know that I'm not on LHCF trying to fight anyone. I just want to give my opinion on a matter. Just because my opinion or feelings are not the same as another person's doesn't mean that I shouldn't give it. I paid my 6.50, and I'm not talking about anyone's momma, so I reserve the right to say my piece.

On top of that, if nobody felt differently from anyone else, do ya'll realize how boring this place would be? Why would you even want a board full of threads where everyone is saying the exact same thing? That would be like a board full of progress threads. Do you ever sit down and read through a progress thread? Probably not. Because every post pretty much says, "Congrats OP, your hair looks great." And after the twentieth time reading that, it starts to get monotonous.

If you don't like debate, then that's okay. There are plenty of threads where there are no debates, and those will probably be the ones that you like best.
In a forum, you are going to have debates and differences of opinion...there's no escaping that. But the good news is that you don't have to read them if you don't want to.

 

[BostonMaria]

This thread is cracking me up!



so did you guys hear about Ateeya? LOL j/k

 

[bedazzled]

I think this is just so stupid. Okay, as far as I know blacks are the only ones saying this is my 'natural' hair. You hear other races say this is my 'unprocessed' hair but you don't hear them say this is my natural hair. I think it is so dumb, that a positive thread meant to uplift women of color turned so sour. Okay so perhaps she isn't 200% correct. Yes there are other races with a group of 'kinky' individuals. But lets not forget there is also a group of people who are brown skinned who aren't 'black'. But the OP isn't talking about them so just like mentioning there are people of other 'races' with 'kinky hair' being irrelevant to the OP's post, its just as irrelevant for me to make a post discussing black culture and mention there are other people who look like us because they have brown skin. She's talking about BW, not everybody else. Perhaps, BW just can't learn to be happy and take a compliment...maybe thats the problem. We really do have issues.

 

[whitedaisez]

This is off-topic kind of, but why does everyone hate difference of opinion? Why is it that when someone thinks differently, they are beefing, hating or acting like children? This is a forum where people should feel comfortable speaking freely....why should everyone have to agree about everything all the time?

I can't talk for anyone else, but I know that I'm not on LHCF trying to fight anyone. I just want to give my opinion on a matter. Just because my opinion or feelings are not the same as another person's doesn't mean that I shouldn't give it. I paid my 6.50, and I'm not talking about anyone's momma, so I reserve the right to say my piece.

On top of that, if nobody felt differently from anyone else, do ya'll realize how boring this place would be? Why would you even want a board full of threads where everyone is saying the exact same thing? That would be like a board full of progress threads. Do you ever sit down and read through a progress thread? Probably not. Because every post pretty much says, "Congrats OP, your hair looks great." And after the twentieth time reading that, it starts to get monotonous.

If you don't like debate, then that's okay. There are plenty of threads where there are no debates, and those will probably be the ones that you like best.
In a forum, you are going to have debates and differences of opinion...there's no escaping that. But the good news is that you don't have to read them if you don't want to.

I am simply trying to say, IT IS NOT THAT SERIOUS! Its not dat serious to start a debate over. Sometimes if you have a difference of opinion, it is best to keep it to yourself. Sometimes it is best when things are kept monotonous. Starting a debate when one clearly knows what OP meant, is just childish and UNNECESSARY.

 

[RedVelvet310]

This thread is STILL GOING ?! This is so trivial, who knew that something so simple posted by the OP could get so nit-picked and construed Jeez

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

This thread is STILL GOING ?! This is so trivial, who knew that something so simple posted by the OP could get so nit-picked and construed Jeez

Woooow at your siggy lol

 

[jturner7156]

I think this is just so stupid. Okay, as far as I know blacks are the only ones saying this is my 'natural' hair. You hear other races say this is my 'unprocessed' hair but you don't hear them say this is my natural hair. I think it is so dumb, that a positive thread meant to uplift women of color turned so sour. Okay so perhaps she isn't 200% correct. Yes there are other races with a group of 'kinky' individuals. But lets not forget there is also a group of people who are brown skinned who aren't 'black'. But the OP isn't talking about them so just like mentioning there are people of other 'races' with 'kinky hair' being irrelevant to the OP's post, its just as irrelevant for me to make a post discussing black culture and mention there are other people who look like us because they have brown skin. She's talking about BW, not everybody else. Perhaps, BW just can't learn to be happy and take a compliment...maybe thats the problem. We really do have issues.

EXACTLY...Some just can't take a compliment and don't want no one else to receive one either....ISSUES FOR REAL!!!

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

yal reachin. ♥

 

[curlicarib]

EXACTLY...Some just can't take a compliment and don't want no one else to receive one either....ISSUES FOR REAL!!!

Ladies, this is just a discussion - no more, no less. No one has been disrespectful or rude that I noticed. As stated in an earlier post, we are all just expressing our opinions. This has nothing to do with wether(sp?) or not anyone can take a compliment, is blocking compliments or has issues - it's just a conversation. I don't think that we are all required to agree with each other, are we? If we are, this is going to be a VERY boring forum. If I may suggest, to all of us.......please don't take things so personally. Because someone disagrees with you, does not mean they are out to insult or belittle you. They just disagree with your opinion on this particular matter. That's all. It does not go any deeper.

To quote the recipient of a notorious beat down - "can't we all just get along"?

 

[beans4reezy]

Wow @ this thread. OP, I understood exactly what you meant. *sigh*

 

[Leesh]

This is off-topic kind of, but why does everyone hate difference of opinion? Why is it that when someone thinks differently, they are beefing, hating or acting like children? This is a forum where people should feel comfortable speaking freely....why should everyone have to agree about everything all the time?

I can't talk for anyone else, but I know that I'm not on LHCF trying to fight anyone. I just want to give my opinion on a matter. Just because my opinion or feelings are not the same as another person's doesn't mean that I shouldn't give it. I paid my 6.50, and I'm not talking about anyone's momma, so I reserve the right to say my piece.

On top of that, if nobody felt differently from anyone else, do ya'll realize how boring this place would be? Why would you even want a board full of threads where everyone is saying the exact same thing? That would be like a board full of progress threads. Do you ever sit down and read through a progress thread? Probably not. Because every post pretty much says, "Congrats OP, your hair looks great." And after the twentieth time reading that, it starts to get monotonous.

If you don't like debate, then that's okay. There are plenty of threads where there are no debates, and those will probably be the ones that you like best.
In a forum, you are going to have debates and differences of opinion...there's no escaping that. But the good news is that you don't have to read them if you don't want to.

And the same goes for You, If You don't like whats being said, You can also keep it moving, First off, an opinion is accepted as such, depending upon the delivery, also depending upon the Original Post, This Lady was thrilled to share something that She believed most of us had in common with Her, and Her Thread was picked apart, just because she did'nt utilize her wording properly, ok, big deal, she did'nt specify exactly what type of natural hair she was pertaining to, but it was not neccessary to dig that deeply into it. It wasn't that serious, and I wish You were somewhat near right about, folks having a difference of opinions on here, from what I've seen, most have kin-to-mind viruses, following the most popular posters, instead of stating how they truly feel, Well, Sweetie, I am definately not that one, Ima voice Mine, and I don't care who "AGREES" with me or not, who "THANKS" my post or not, who "REPLIES" or not, and just like You and all, I paid My 6.50 and I am going to ride it till the wheels fall off, Their is a wealth of information that I can utilize to my advantage here, and its sad that You must cyphon thru all the BS to get to it. PointBlank!!!

 

[I Am So Blessed]

eh?

 

[Lola Laughs]

eh?

 

[yamilee21]

... but I saw an Asian guy on the subway with the BIGGEST 4b AFRO I had ever seen. I stared in amazement and wondered how the heck he got that awesome afro. ...

20+ years ago when I was in Boston, I saw an Asian guy with a big afro. I must have stared too long because he said to me, "What? You've never seen a Chinese guy with an afro before?" I said, "Actually, no, I haven't."

... Women of color, no matter the race or ethnicity are expected to conform to a certain standard. But when we step outside of that boundary and leave our hair in its natural state there sometimes is an uproar. We are told our natural hair is outside of a business policy, not tamed enough for work, or not straight enough to fit in with everyone else in the office. Some have even been told that their hair is keeping them from a promotion.

Our struggle with our hair in it's natural state or not is what unifies us and makes us special one to another. It's a different type of bond, that can not be duplicated.

True... *IF* we are talking about the United States, and perhaps some other societies in the western hemisphere. But elsewhere, maybe not. I'd like to hear what our members outside of the US/Canada think about this. From my own experience in Haiti, natural hair is less of a sensitive subject.

... Unless you want to break it to our lovely 3b-3c ladies who claim no other race but black, that they are no such thing and are only perpetrating frauds. And if you agree that these 3b-3c women are black, then this whole thing is moot, because almost everyone knows a woman with 3b-3c hair, who is not black at all. ...

... *By our, I am referring to women of color whose hair is in the 3c-4 type range. just thought i should be specific.

Interesting... so 3c is black, but 3b is indeed perpetrating fraud?

 

[bludaydreamr]

And the same goes for You, If You don't like whats being said, You can also keep it moving, First off, an opinion is accepted as such, depending upon the delivery, also depending upon the Original Post, This Lady was thrilled to share something that She believed most of us had in common with Her, and Her Thread was picked apart, just because she did'nt utilize her wording properly, ok, big deal, she did'nt specify exactly what type of natural hair she was pertaining to, but it was not neccessary to dig that deeply into it. It wasn't that serious, and I wish You were somewhat near right about, folks having a difference of opinions on here, from what I've seen, most have kin-to-mind viruses, following the most popular posters, instead of stating how they truly feel, Well, Sweetie, I am definately not that one, Ima voice Mine, and I don't care who "AGREES" with me or not, who "THANKS" my post or not, who "REPLIES" or not, and just like You and all, I paid My 6.50 and I am going to ride it till the wheels fall off, Their is a wealth of information that I can utilize to my advantage here, and its sad that You must cyphon thru all the BS to get to it. PointBlank!!!

I wanted to thank you again; you have a valid point. I'm glad I found the board when I did, 'cause I wouldn't join now. I only continue my membership because there is a lot of valuable information here. I was so happy to find this board because I felt encouraged by many of the posters. Who are members suppose to get encouragement from now?

OP, I also know what you mean. Enjoy you HHJ don't let any get you down!