Sorry I didn't answer this sooner. I have been experimenting with shea butter for about a month. I have found that for my hair the unrefined works best. I use it on dry hair. After my wash regemin I put my hair in a bun. When my hair is about 90% dry I apply shea butter (I put a half dollar size in my hand, rub together until oil consistancy) and apply to my hair root to tip. I put just a little more on my ends and bun up. I do this once a day. I cover my bun with a baggie at night (when I'm being good) and tie down with a scarf. When I get up in the morning my hair is smooth and feels moisturized with out feeling oily.
The key, for me, is not to mix any other product with it. So once my hair is dry from my wash shea butter is the ONLY moisturizer I use until the next wash day. I was worried that it wouldn't rinse out when I did my co wash but that wasn't the case.
By the way my daughter's natural hair loves this stuff too.