BAD Online Dating Pics & Their Subliminal Messages

[Ivonnovi]

Decipher this...Stuff

Message from 46y/o boy left sometime yesterday: "what up play pimping game time check your ring and put it up to nite lets match minds"


Me: (what da "H")

Background: We exchanged prior emails (very casual); I like reading the forums, (they can tell when you're online but don't know where you "are" online); Last time he mentioned me "pimping my smile,and being hard to get to know. I highly suspect that he thinks I'm ignoring him. (Definately true now).

 

[Ivonnovi]

Ummmm, I just had to come here and post some more.

Dude is apparently has preschool photoshop skills. He should wait till he gets better b4 posting for LUV'/bromance or what eva his goal is. I really pitty this fool, his "bio" reads as bad as these pics look. SMDH

EDITED TO INCLUDE HIS NARRATIVE:

Unique-as you-I am. I-as you-am 'not' a figment of anyone's imagination-priorities in debatable order-contain internal beauty-associate with divinity-do absolutely love ourselves-may call ourselves "intelligent"-but will entrust our life in a 100% stranger's hand by taking flight in an airplane or an ocean-craft at the risk of crashing or drowning and don't even know its passengers or its pilots?! The god in me love the god in y-o-u! Real talk! Look me in my eyes delicious... Your wet hot passionate kiss will turn Larry Reynard into your man! Why you??? You posses one unique privy that no other woman have... The "one and only" single key to mine heart baby... Just whisk in-lock up-and keep your key! ...Really!!! Please princess-my lover-here is your key: you are strong minded-faithful-no secrets-no lies-an angelic glow of light from within to be a god send help meet what's best for the greatest good! Romantic opulence?! Thy knight Larry favors to be with-cook-and fly with thee-your majesty! Conceal we each-the she lion self and the he lion self tied to a chain of sorts? It is essential very important and very fair that you express your thoughts and feelings to me always! Heaven help you and me! Respectful attentive sensitive caring appreciative of you is 'our' aristocratic pleasure! We twain are so seasoned kindred spirits with such tenacious noble-minded obstinate bravery! I am so-faithfully-waiting for you so we can enjoy the peace loving life we cook up with our own private personal fresh and intimate ingredients-our couple culinary masterpiece. You and I will be cooking up a life safari from scratch princess. I-as you-am *not* a have it your way-open sack & enjoy life partner hamburger-add this and cut that-from a fast love drive thru window. I am so-faithfully-waiting for you ms. lovebird-I so really enjoy the taste of black walnut ice cream-just mr. lovebird-I am. Prayerfully you will see in me the kindness that both of us seek in life-both in our own characters and in our relationships with other do good-ers. My weakness-my love-is graciously agreeing with what's best for the greater good 'always' of the which agreeing with what's best for the greater good has the right of way with me! You are an awesome priceless precious gemstone piece of work! There is a princess and prince in the land whose name is pure royalty-blameless do good-ers that revere the dictates of the greatest good and avoids negative-time wasters! My strength-my dearest is... I will tell you 'the truth' even at the risk of losing you ...My gift from our grand architect! ...Honesty! I-Reynard-am soaring for romantic opulence!-a so very very truly unattached female princess who want to be loved and who can love me for me! How can your lover man larry make 'us we our' bond better???!!! Is a brand new day-unconditional love okay with you my lady? May 'you and I' custom build an everlasting 'us we our' bond together lover woman? You are a sensual lady who enjoys occasional romantic gestures like a night of soft music-candles and fun fun fun arousing interstellar conversations. Impeccable you are-so extremely valuable-wow-so very well worth it. Kisses and hugs sweetness! My fair damsel-we are about absolute fidelity! You-as I-covets what goes on in our private love garden of eden and believes our private love engineering business is nobody's business but ours and ours alone-pure royalty which radiates regal respect like the sun and thunderously demand respect from all other do good-ers in earth as it is in heaven. Oh sweet heaven! Goddess you are my dream come true! I am so such an all yours or nothing one woman man! I am willing to relocate! I take you with 'all' of your faults and strengths as I offer myself to you with 'all' of my faults and strengths. Your key: thank you for not pretending to be perfect!​

Me: W...T...F...?​

;
I couldn't read all the way through this mess before I got a headache!

 

[Bunny77]

Re: Decipher this...Stuff

Message from 46y/o boy left sometime yesterday: "what up play pimping game time check your ring and put it up to nite lets match minds"

Is that even in English?

 

[Bunny77]

Ummmm, I just had to come here and post some more.

Dude is apparently has preschool photoshop skills. He should wait till he gets better b4 posting for LUV'/bromance or what eva his goal is. I really pitty this fool, his "bio" reads as bad as these pics look. SMDH

Uh, why does that look like my uncle?

 

[Ivonnovi]

Is that even in English?

I do not think so!!!

Uh, why does that look like my uncle?

Den' you should teach Uncle rufus some photoshop skills. Perhaps recommend he shave's too. LOL

 

[GeorginaSparks]

POF has the worst :-/

 

[honeybuni84]

Re: Decipher this...Stuff

Message from 46y/o boy left sometime yesterday: "what up play pimping game time check your ring and put it up to nite lets match minds"


Me: (what da "H")

Background: We exchanged prior emails (very casual); I like reading the forums, (they can tell when you're online but don't know where you "are" online); Last time he mentioned me "pimping my smile,and being hard to get to know. I highly suspect that he thinks I'm ignoring him. (Definately true now).

what in the world does that even mean....

 

[calm_delight]

I am so mad at you for this thread, Ivonnovi! This is so comical.
I'm not dating online so I don't have any pics/stories to share. But when I did try it years ago, I saw enough fools to turn me off of online dating. I don't even feel sorry for these dudes - they need to be ashamed of themselves for posting this mess.

I'm extremely curious to know why a scantily clad, coked out, cabbage patch kid has committed suicide in the background of that pic. If you find out, PLEASE share.

Also, I agree with Bunny - Is that English dude was writing? I honestly don't understand what he was trying to say/type. Is anyone here a translator of played-out-wanna-be-hip-catdaddy-negro speak?

 

[newbiemom]

It seems that as more people get intune with online dating, the quality of the picks get worse. I remember meeting my now SO online almost 13 years ago and it was a different ball game. People were more genuine (and cuter)...now-a-days every snaggle-toothed Leroy has a dating profile. I feel it for you ladies.

That is soo otrue. I met my hubby online 10 years ago and the pool has shrunk considerably in terrms of non creepy guys.

 

[Zuleika]

Ummmm, I just had to come here and post some more.

Dude is apparently has preschool photoshop skills. He should wait till he gets better b4 posting for LUV'/bromance or what eva his goal is. I really pitty this fool, his "bio" reads as bad as these pics look. SMDH

What the deuce?!!!!

 

[Ivonnovi]

Bump, .....I added Uncle Rufus' narrative in Post#32.
If you can make it throught all that BS without a headache, you're better than me.
If you can make sense out of it....then good for you.

 

[Ivonnovi]

reviewing some of my old posts.

#32 made me laugh, 'two years later and it still makes no sense to me.

 

[caligirl]

ixnay to photos wearing dark shades
I need a clear mug shot!

 

[Theo]

Ummmm, I just had to come here and post some more.

Dude is apparently has preschool photoshop skills. He should wait till he gets better b4 posting for LUV'/bromance or what eva his goal is. I really pitty this fool, his "bio" reads as bad as these pics look. SMDH

EDITED TO INCLUDE HIS NARRATIVE:

Unique-as you-I am. I-as you-am 'not' a figment of anyone's imagination-priorities in debatable order-contain internal beauty-associate with divinity-do absolutely love ourselves-may call ourselves "intelligent"-but will entrust our life in a 100% stranger's hand by taking flight in an airplane or an ocean-craft at the risk of crashing or drowning and don't even know its passengers or its pilots?! The god in me love the god in y-o-u! Real talk! Look me in my eyes delicious... Your wet hot passionate kiss will turn Larry Reynard into your man! Why you??? You posses one unique privy that no other woman have... The "one and only" single key to mine heart baby... Just whisk in-lock up-and keep your key! ...Really!!! Please princess-my lover-here is your key: you are strong minded-faithful-no secrets-no lies-an angelic glow of light from within to be a god send help meet what's best for the greatest good! Romantic opulence?! Thy knight Larry favors to be with-cook-and fly with thee-your majesty! Conceal we each-the she lion self and the he lion self tied to a chain of sorts? It is essential very important and very fair that you express your thoughts and feelings to me always! Heaven help you and me! Respectful attentive sensitive caring appreciative of you is 'our' aristocratic pleasure! We twain are so seasoned kindred spirits with such tenacious noble-minded obstinate bravery! I am so-faithfully-waiting for you so we can enjoy the peace loving life we cook up with our own private personal fresh and intimate ingredients-our couple culinary masterpiece. You and I will be cooking up a life safari from scratch princess. I-as you-am *not* a have it your way-open sack & enjoy life partner hamburger-add this and cut that-from a fast love drive thru window. I am so-faithfully-waiting for you ms. lovebird-I so really enjoy the taste of black walnut ice cream-just mr. lovebird-I am. Prayerfully you will see in me the kindness that both of us seek in life-both in our own characters and in our relationships with other do good-ers. My weakness-my love-is graciously agreeing with what's best for the greater good 'always' of the which agreeing with what's best for the greater good has the right of way with me! You are an awesome priceless precious gemstone piece of work! There is a princess and prince in the land whose name is pure royalty-blameless do good-ers that revere the dictates of the greatest good and avoids negative-time wasters! My strength-my dearest is... I will tell you 'the truth' even at the risk of losing you ...My gift from our grand architect! ...Honesty! I-Reynard-am soaring for romantic opulence!-a so very very truly unattached female princess who want to be loved and who can love me for me! How can your lover man larry make 'us we our' bond better???!!! Is a brand new day-unconditional love okay with you my lady? May 'you and I' custom build an everlasting 'us we our' bond together lover woman? You are a sensual lady who enjoys occasional romantic gestures like a night of soft music-candles and fun fun fun arousing interstellar conversations. Impeccable you are-so extremely valuable-wow-so very well worth it. Kisses and hugs sweetness! My fair damsel-we are about absolute fidelity! You-as I-covets what goes on in our private love garden of eden and believes our private love engineering business is nobody's business but ours and ours alone-pure royalty which radiates regal respect like the sun and thunderously demand respect from all other do good-ers in earth as it is in heaven. Oh sweet heaven! Goddess you are my dream come true! I am so such an all yours or nothing one woman man! I am willing to relocate! I take you with 'all' of your faults and strengths as I offer myself to you with 'all' of my faults and strengths. Your key: thank you for not pretending to be perfect!​

Me: W...T...F...?​

;
I couldn't read all the way through this mess before I got a headache!

Is he bipolar? I feel like he might have typed that while going through a manic phase or something.

 

[Miss_C]

What's this hanging from the ceiling above his bed? (I guess). AND what grown man has a.....

Never mind here's another one of those pic's I just "don't get"! Unless it's a effigy of one of his ex's

That facial hair!

 

[Miss_C]

This whole thing is why I hate spoken word. I can just see him reading this on talent night at an HBCU...he probably wrote this freshman year lol

Ummmm, I just had to come here and post some more.

Dude is apparently has preschool photoshop skills. He should wait till he gets better b4 posting for LUV'/bromance or what eva his goal is. I really pitty this fool, his "bio" reads as bad as these pics look. SMDH

EDITED TO INCLUDE HIS NARRATIVE:

Unique-as you-I am. I-as you-am 'not' a figment of anyone's imagination-priorities in debatable order-contain internal beauty-associate with divinity-do absolutely love ourselves-may call ourselves "intelligent"-but will entrust our life in a 100% stranger's hand by taking flight in an airplane or an ocean-craft at the risk of crashing or drowning and don't even know its passengers or its pilots?! The god in me love the god in y-o-u! Real talk! Look me in my eyes delicious... Your wet hot passionate kiss will turn Larry Reynard into your man! Why you??? You posses one unique privy that no other woman have... The "one and only" single key to mine heart baby... Just whisk in-lock up-and keep your key! ...Really!!! Please princess-my lover-here is your key: you are strong minded-faithful-no secrets-no lies-an angelic glow of light from within to be a god send help meet what's best for the greatest good! Romantic opulence?! Thy knight Larry favors to be with-cook-and fly with thee-your majesty! Conceal we each-the she lion self and the he lion self tied to a chain of sorts? It is essential very important and very fair that you express your thoughts and feelings to me always! Heaven help you and me! Respectful attentive sensitive caring appreciative of you is 'our' aristocratic pleasure! We twain are so seasoned kindred spirits with such tenacious noble-minded obstinate bravery! I am so-faithfully-waiting for you so we can enjoy the peace loving life we cook up with our own private personal fresh and intimate ingredients-our couple culinary masterpiece. You and I will be cooking up a life safari from scratch princess. I-as you-am *not* a have it your way-open sack & enjoy life partner hamburger-add this and cut that-from a fast love drive thru window. I am so-faithfully-waiting for you ms. lovebird-I so really enjoy the taste of black walnut ice cream-just mr. lovebird-I am. Prayerfully you will see in me the kindness that both of us seek in life-both in our own characters and in our relationships with other do good-ers. My weakness-my love-is graciously agreeing with what's best for the greater good 'always' of the which agreeing with what's best for the greater good has the right of way with me! You are an awesome priceless precious gemstone piece of work! There is a princess and prince in the land whose name is pure royalty-blameless do good-ers that revere the dictates of the greatest good and avoids negative-time wasters! My strength-my dearest is... I will tell you 'the truth' even at the risk of losing you ...My gift from our grand architect! ...Honesty! I-Reynard-am soaring for romantic opulence!-a so very very truly unattached female princess who want to be loved and who can love me for me! How can your lover man larry make 'us we our' bond better???!!! Is a brand new day-unconditional love okay with you my lady? May 'you and I' custom build an everlasting 'us we our' bond together lover woman? You are a sensual lady who enjoys occasional romantic gestures like a night of soft music-candles and fun fun fun arousing interstellar conversations. Impeccable you are-so extremely valuable-wow-so very well worth it. Kisses and hugs sweetness! My fair damsel-we are about absolute fidelity! You-as I-covets what goes on in our private love garden of eden and believes our private love engineering business is nobody's business but ours and ours alone-pure royalty which radiates regal respect like the sun and thunderously demand respect from all other do good-ers in earth as it is in heaven. Oh sweet heaven! Goddess you are my dream come true! I am so such an all yours or nothing one woman man! I am willing to relocate! I take you with 'all' of your faults and strengths as I offer myself to you with 'all' of my faults and strengths. Your key: thank you for not pretending to be perfect!
​

Me: W...T...F...?​

;
I couldn't read all the way through this mess before I got a headache!

 

[tallnomad]

online dating scares me, especially when i'd get pics like this . . .

the portrait with the dog, well

and the other man looks like mushmouth from fat albert

 

[HauteHippie]

I especially hate the tilted, I took this with my camera phone after a haircut or grooming my facial hair and don't you think I'm sweet pics. I'm like... you just want to be friends, right?

I'm so upset I can't post a pic! Waaaaaah!

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2

 

[ATLcutey20]

I am so mad at you for this thread, Ivonnovi! This is so comical.
I'm not dating online so I don't have any pics/stories to share. But when I did try it years ago, I saw enough fools to turn me off of online dating. I don't even feel sorry for these dudes - they need to be ashamed of themselves for posting this mess.

I'm extremely curious to know why a scantily clad, coked out, cabbage patch kid has committed suicide in the background of that pic. If you find out, PLEASE share.

Also, I agree with Bunny - Is that English dude was writing? I honestly don't understand what he was trying to say/type. Is anyone here a translator of played-out-wanna-be-hip-catdaddy-negro speak?

iDied at coked out cabbage patch! LOL!! This thread made my night.

Sent from my PG06100 using PG06100

 

[Ivonnovi]

... Thank you for sharing pictures. I don't get what's up with the dog pictures either.

online dating scares me, especially when i'd get pics like this . . .

the portrait with the dog, well

and the other man looks like mushmouth from fat albert