Attachment Theory

[Saludable84]

I got secure. Was totally sure I’d get avoidant.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I know I was the anxious type. I don't know where the fear of abandonment came from. But I'm getting over it now.

 

[yaya24]

I just knew mine would be avoidant.
Came back as secure.

 

[abioni]

Got secure also. Not surprised though. I'm pretty chilled when it comes to most people and bounce once I notice toxic patterns.

 

[C@ssandr@]

I figured as much:

Your attachment style is: Secure
Being warm and loving in a relationship comes naturally to you. You enjoy being intimate without becoming overly worried about your relationships. You take things in stride when it comes to romance and don't get easily upset over relationship matters. You effectively communicate your needs and feelings to your partner and are also strong at reading your partner's emotional cues and responding to them. You share your successes and problems with your mate, and are able to be there for him or her in times of need. Even though you have a secure attachment style, it is likely you have (or will have) relationships with people with other attachment styles. In ATTACHED, we teach you what makes people with an anxious or avoidant attachment style and tick and how best to relate to them.

When I was taking the quiz I realized that none of the stuff mentioned ever concerns me (or makes me worried). In fact I was a little alarmed at some of the questions like "I fear that once someone gets to know the real me, they won't like who I am". I feel like people actually like/love me even more after getting to know me!

I credit being "secure" to three things:

1. Growing up in a male dominated household, which is why I am a feminine who is also strong in her masculine (for example, I do not argue with or nag my partners because I don't like to be nagged (I truly think that's the "man" in me )
2. I feel like I'm "date-able", so I never worry about being left or being single :shrug:
3. I feel like there's a lot of people out there to date so... I never worry about being left or remaining single lol

I am surprised that the book suggests that secure people help anxious and avoident people feel or become more secure. I'm not sure I believe that because I steer clear from people who are not as "centered" (for lack of a better word) as I am. Unless the book is referring to people who are ever so slightly those things and are not on the extreme ends of the spectrum.